Chapter 9 #3
Lily and Wren exited, and she reached for her phone, her attention caught by the missed call notification, followed by a text.
Nell 10:34 AM
Was hoping to catch you between meetings. No need to call back. Talk soon. —N
She smiled at the way Nell always signed her text messages like Sarah didn’t know they were from her.
Sarah rode that feeling as she dialed Wren’s aunt, reminding herself to be the responsible adult and not lose her absolute shit on this woman, even though she could feel the protector inside of her heating up for a battle.
It was dark by the time Sarah pulled into her driveway. Beth’s car was already there, ready to pick up Lily and Wren. After Sarah had gotten done with Wren’s aunt, her next call was to Beth to let her know what had been going on that day.
“Lily, you and Wren head upstairs and pack up your stuff while I talk to your mom for a few minutes.”
“Okay, Mom,” Lily said, as the two girls climbed out of the car.
Sarah cut the engine and sat in the car for a full minute, her forehead resting lightly against the steering wheel, before she mustered the energy to get out.
The truth was, she was drained—after the case, after Wren—and she didn’t have it in her to put on the easy smile she always tried to wear around Beth these days.
The one that said she was fine, always fine, even when everything inside her was being pulled so tightly.
But Beth was here, and she didn’t have the energy to pretend today. She got out of the car, smoothing a hand down the front of her coat.
Beth looked up as she approached, a small smirk tugging at her lips. “Hi, honey. Welcome home,” she said sarcastically, as she stood.
Sarah sighed, exhausted but unwilling to let it show. “What a day.” She cocked her head toward the door Lily had left partially open. “Come on in.”
Sarah didn’t say anything to Beth as she kicked off her shoes and disappeared down the hallway to change. She needed the minute to compartmentalize her thoughts and find a more neutral version of herself before she stepped back into the tension waiting downstairs.
When she returned, barefoot, in comfy joggers and a worn quarter-zip, Beth was moving around the kitchen, her back to the door. She stopped in the doorway, simply to watch the way Beth moved around the space like she belonged there.
Beth had always been beautiful—open-faced, bright-eyed, with a presence that made you feel like you could finally take a deep breath and just be—but there was something new that had bloomed over the last few years. A deeper self-assurance. It looked good on her.
For a brief, foolish second, Sarah let herself pretend this was just another Tuesday night, with Beth waiting for her at home, ready to debrief at the end of their day like they had done a thousand times before. But that life of theirs was gone.
As Sarah entered, she asked, “What are you making?”
Beth turned, a plate in hand and that adorable smile Sarah used to love melting into at the end of a long day spread across her face. “Cinnamon toast. I know it’s your favorite after days like today.”
Oof. Yup, that cut her like a blade, clean and quiet. A reminder of just how well Beth knew her. She nodded, taking the plate from her, biting into the toast. Warm melted butter hit her senses before she moved toward the living room and lowered herself onto the couch.
Beth took the other end, like always.
“So.” Beth turned slightly, her elbow on the back cushion. “How was the call with Wren’s aunt?”
Sarah didn’t respond. Just took another bite of her toast, using chewing to buy herself an extra moment. “I mean, you know how she is.” She gave Beth a knowing look.
Each of them had dealt with Wren’s aunt several times over the last year since Lily and Wren had become friends.
“I’ve never met someone more self-centered.
She didn’t seem particularly concerned about Wren.
She said she had already called her sister and told her everything, and that the faster she could get Wren out of her house, the better.
I had Avery go over and pick up Wren’s things.
” She sighed, rubbing her face. “I just don’t get it.
Why do people go through all the trouble of having kids if they don’t plan on loving them unconditionally?
” Her chest heaved. She hadn’t even been aware of how worked up she had gotten.
“And then, you know, of course, it’s Wren.
She’s like Bambi. She’s scared and unsure what comes next.
You know how some kids hold it all in until they break? ”
Beth’s expression softened. “Yeah.”
“She broke today, and it was awful.” Sarah’s voice caught on the last word. “But I’m glad she came to me.”
“You’ve always been good in a crisis, Sar,” Beth said gently. “You’re who I would go to if I needed help.”
The words landed harder than they should have. Sarah looked away, placing her empty plate on the coffee table.
“You remember when we came out?” Sarah asked. “You told your parents over dinner. I think your mom offered to knit you a rainbow sweater, and your dad was just thrilled you weren’t marrying a man.”
Beth laughed. “It was a scarf. She had it done in three days.”
“Right. Meanwhile, I told my mom, and she cried so hard she had to lie down. My dad told me I was confused and to not come home until I got my head on right. My grandmother sent me a rosary and a note that said ‘Try again.’”
Beth winced, remembering. “Yeah. That was brutal.”
“I didn’t speak to any of them for years.
Not until Lily was born, after Dad passed.
” She paused. “Everyone always makes coming out to be this celebratory experience—and don’t get me wrong, in so many ways, it is—but sometimes coming out doesn’t feel like a door opening.
It feels like lighting a match and watching your life burn down while you wait and hope it can be rebuilt from the ashes. ”
Beth reached out and placed a hand gently over Sarah’s, her thumb brushing lightly across her knuckles. “But look at you now. Look at what you’ve built in its place. And your mom came around after a while; now look at her. When your sister Kelly came out, your mom handled it so well.”
Sarah didn’t move her hand, but she didn’t look up either.
“Yeah, she did. I just wish I could have had that experience.” She took a deep breath, resigning herself to the fact she’d known all along.
“But that’s what I do, I guess. I’m steamroll-Sarah, paving the way for others to have it easier.
” She let out a long sigh, flexing her fingers slightly to feel the softness of Beth’s hand in hers.
“I wish I could fix this for Wren, but I can’t. ”
“No, you can’t,” Beth said. “But you can give her the tools she needs to survive it, which you’re doing.”
They fell quiet again. Sarah’s hand still rested beneath Beth’s.
It was such a small thing, but it was everything.
A thousand memories were stitched into her touch.
Twenty-five years of love, of friendship, of coparenting, of late nights nursing Lily through fevers, of breakup fights and soft apologies and things that never quite felt finished between them.
Beth squeezed her hand, rising from where she sat, walking toward the kitchen. She rinsed her glass, placing it upside down in the rack, like she had done a thousand times before.
Sarah turned her gaze toward the floor, grateful for the moment to regain her composure.
“So, what’s next?” Beth asked.
Sarah stood, moving toward the kitchen to place her empty plate in the sink.
“I still need to call Wren’s parents and let them know where she is. Tomorrow, I’ll pick Wren up from your house. We’re meeting with a family lawyer in the morning to go over her options, and then, if she chooses to file the emancipation petition, we’ll start that process.”
Her phone vibrated against the granite countertop, drawing their attention. Beth reached for it out of habit before handing it to her with a raised eyebrow, and Sarah saw Nell’s name on the screen. Sarah silenced the call before setting the phone face down.
“Nell as in Cornelia Stanhope?” Beth leaned against the counter, crossing her arms. “So that’s the mysterious woman you’ve been sneaking off to see?”
That jolted Sarah back into full alert.
“It’s not like that,” she said, dismissively. She felt an immediate twinge of guilt because Nell wasn’t nothing, she just wasn’t what Beth was insinuating.
Beth raised both eyebrows. “No? Because that photo from the WNBA championship game said otherwise. The way you were looking at her. The matching shirts were a bit much, if you ask me.” There was a bite of jealousy to Beth’s words that Sarah immediately registered.
“You mean the shirts promoting your girlfriend’s business?” she said coolly. “It was just a photo, Beth. Don’t read too much into what’s not there.”
“Yeah, okay. Just a photo, then.”
Sarah exhaled sharply through her nose. “We’re friends. I’m considering a career shift. She’s helping me connect with people. You know, open doors.”
Beth narrowed her eyes. “That’s not all, though, is it?”
Sarah looked at her squarely now. Beth had no right to be interrogating her like this.
“She’s someone who sees and respects my power,” she said cooly, wanting her words to sting.
Beth blinked, surprised, and Sarah immediately regretted it.
“I didn’t mean that to be—”
“No,” Beth cut in. “You did. And maybe that’s for the best.”
They sat in the sudden quiet.
Beth turned her gaze toward the window. “You always needed to be seen that way. I didn’t realize that was something you weren’t getting from me.”
Sarah swallowed. There was so much she could say. So many versions of the truth, none of which would make this any easier.
“I’m tired,” she said dimly.
Beth nodded. “Yeah. Me, too.”
The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs interrupted them, breaking the tension as Lily and Wren came into the kitchen.
“We’re all ready to go, Mama,” Lily said, with a smile.
Sarah shifted her attention back to Lily and Wren. “Have a good night, girls. Lily, no more sneaking off from practice without telling anyone where you’re going. Wren, I’ll pick you up tomorrow. We’ve got a few things to take care of.”
She hugged each of them, noticing the way Wren held on for just a little longer, before they left.
Beth lingered for a moment, pausing as she pulled on her coat.
“It’s bad timing, but Jamie and I wanted to extend an invitation for you to join us in Palm Springs for Thanksgiving,” she said. “I’m sure you probably already have plans with Nell.”
“You’re right. I do have plans,” Sarah answered quickly, thinking of Nell’s invitation to spend Thanksgiving in Pennsylvania, which sounded absolutely perfect right about now.
Beth looked at her for a moment longer, those blue eyes searching for something more, then she was gone, leaving the scent of lavender and old memories in her wake.