Chapter 12 #2
Sarah studied her for a long moment, and Nell could feel it—the tug-of-war happening behind those swirling eyes as Sarah’s morality squared off against her desire, discipline versus curiosity.
She filled with delight as Sarah leaned forward and plucked one of the clear, unassuming capsules from the tin. The white powder inside shimmered faintly in the booth’s subtle lighting as she turned the capsule over between her fingers like a pearl.
Sarah looked at Nell, her mouth curling at one corner. “You know what? Fuck it,” she said, tossing the capsule into her mouth and swallowing it dry. “For once, I want to do something risky.”
Nell picked up the remaining capsule and followed suit. “Excellent,” she said, loud enough for Sarah to hear over the music as they leaned back into the cushions, waiting for the shift in their senses to begin.
The music had changed somewhere in the passing minutes that followed. The bass felt funny in her chest, like it was coming from inside her and all around her at once. She turned to Sarah, checking in on her.
“How are you feeling?”
“Good, I think? I keep having these waves of feeling overwhelmed and like I’ve just done something stupid.”
Nell propped her head on her hand as she watched Sarah’s mouth form words, creating pleasing shapes with each new syllable.
“That’ll be the come-up. It’ll pass,” Nate said, getting up and walking toward the entrance of their booth. “Give it a few more minutes.”
Sarah leaned back into the couch and took a sip of her water. Nell reached out to trace her fingers along the exposed skin of Sarah’s thigh, suddenly filled with the overwhelming need to feel her.
No. She stopped herself.
Focus. Don’t detach. Not yet.
But it was no use. Nell felt fluid, like liquid, the haze of her altered state melting all the sharpness she used to keep people away.
“I think I’m starting to feel something. Are you?” Sarah asked softly, her fingers tapping along with the music against the couch cushion, lips parted, eyes slightly dilated.
“What are you feeling?” Nell asked.
“Like I want to dance.” The words tumbled out of Sarah like she couldn’t keep them from bubbling up. “Please. Dance with me.”
She didn’t have the heart to deny Sarah, not when she looked at her like that—like Nell held the answers to all of Sarah’s questions.
Nell didn’t hesitate. She rose, taking Sarah’s hand, guiding her out of the booth, descending the stairs into the thick crowd, working their way to the center of the dance floor, and mixing themselves in with the mass of light and sound and shadows that tangled around sweaty bodies.
Still, Nell only had eyes for Sarah, and the way she gave herself over to the rhythm of the music pressing in on all sides of them as she followed suit.
Sarah’s body found hers instantly, hands skimming along her waist, her back, her hips, like she had done earlier when Nell had whispered those two words—touch me—before she lost control.
Like earlier, Sarah’s hands felt incredible against her as she explored as much of her as she could.
Nell melted into the heat of Sarah’s breath, hot against her neck, and the insistent press of their thighs as they moved together, lost in the moment of sound and the feeling of skin on skin.
There was no space, no air, no room for anything but the two of them.
She moaned into Sarah’s ear from the sheer release of finally letting go, letting herself feel everything as Sarah kissed her jaw.
Time seemed to move in strange ways as they danced.
Had it been minutes or hours? She wasn’t sure of anything anymore.
Eventually, she guided Sarah back to the booth.
She was sticky with sweat from their movements, desire pooling low in her belly.
Nate stood on the balcony, overlooking the dance floor below.
“Ladies, everyone doing okay?” he asked.
Sarah giggled as she patted him on the arm before sliding past him into their partially enclosed booth.
“We’re both good, Nate.” Nell’s eyes followed Sarah, who was pouring water into glasses from the pitcher. “Please make sure we’re not interrupted.” She gave him a knowing look before moving towards Sarah.
They collapsed together on the couch, tangled and breathless as they laughed. Sarah reached for a water glass, took a long sip, and then offered it to her. Nell accepted.
“Your life doesn’t feel real. You know that, right?” Sarah said, leaning back into the cushions.
Nell turned toward her, amusement tugging at her lips.
“I mean it,” she continued. “Being with you is like—like falling down the rabbit hole into some billionaire wonderland. Private jets, sanitized stacks of cash, back-of-house entry, Molly in the back of the club . . .”
Nell laughed. A real, full-bodied laugh. She couldn’t help it. Sarah smiled at her, watching. “I mean, when you put it like that . . .”
“But at the same time, all of this feels so normal with you. Like I’ve known you forever, and you’re just this person who has a few weird quirks that I find so incredibly endearing.
” Sarah studied her with an intensity in her eyes Nell had never seen before.
Nell watched her, watched the steady rise and fall of her chest as she continued to pour words out onto her.
“I’m starting to feel like I can’t picture my life without you in it, and I wasn’t expecting that from you. I wasn’t expecting any of this.”
Nell’s heart hammered in her ears as Sarah spoke, or was that from the drugs? She couldn’t tell right now, but hadn’t that been the whole point of this? Of letting go of her control for a little while?
“Maybe you need to be a little more flexible with your expectations.” She reached forward and took Sarah’s hand in hers, their fingers intertwining. The weight of her hand felt delicious and decadent. “You might find yourself pleasantly surprised from time to time.”
Sarah was quiet for a moment.
“You’re an enigma, Nell.”
“That’s not necessarily a bad thing,” she said absently.
“No, it’s not. Lucky for you, I love a good puzzle.”
Her brain couldn’t form a follow-up to that. All she managed was to look at Sarah like she was some marvel of the universe . . . her perfect paramour.
Sarah continued talking, and by the time Nell realized, she only caught the end of what Sarah was saying.
“You’re like rich-rich,” Sarah said, dragging Nell’s thoughts away from where they had been spinning.
“Excuse me?” Nell nearly laughed. This conversation was absurd.
“I’m doing fine. I have plenty of money to take care of myself and my family, but you . . . you’re wealthy. Like, impossibly wealthy, in a way that shouldn’t be real.”
“Oh? You think?”
“Yeah. You know what? I’ll say it. I don’t think billionaires should exist,” Sarah said.
There was no venom in her statement, only her truth. Nell always welcomed the truth.
“It’s too much, to the point of being obscene. Does one person really need all that money?”
Sarah reached forward, pouring herself another glass of water from the pitcher, and Nell watched her lips as they puckered around the edge of the glass before she continued speaking words Nell was no longer hearing.
Her words, however undoubtedly important, were nothing compared to watching her lips shape syllables with such conviction.
It was intoxicating, and she wanted to feel the softness of Sarah’s lips on her skin again.
Focus on what she’s saying. “I think,” Nell said slowly, almost dreamily, and she leaned forward, taking Sarah’s chin and tilting her mouth toward her own. “I think you might be on to something.”
Sarah blinked in surprise. “Yeah?”
She nodded as she pressed her lips to Sarah’s. Yup. Just as soft and perfect as they had been minutes—possibly hours—ago on the dance floor, but still, Nell always enjoyed confirmation.
Their kiss was languid, meandering, and lazy as they followed their impulses, tongues volleying for dominance. When they finally broke apart for air, Sarah was looking at her with fire in her eyes.
“How do you make it feel like taking risks is no big deal?” Sarah whispered, close enough Nell could feel the words against her lips. She tightened her hold on Sarah’s waist. “I want to take another risk.”
“And what might that be?” Nell asked, her throat tightening in anticipation.
“I want you to fuck me, right here. In this booth,” she said, with lethal seriousness. “I need you, Nell. I need to have you, right now.”
Nell glanced around their booth, judging the level of privacy granted to them by the drawn curtains. Private-ish, she determined. Doable if they were quick. And besides, she had asked Nate to make sure they weren’t going to be interrupted.
Her body answered before her brain could send words to her mouth, as she pulled Sarah onto her lap, pushing her skirt up ever so slightly, allowing Sarah enough relief from the constricting fabric to straddle her.
Sarah’s ask was bold and brazen, but God, the way she had asked .
. . How the fuck was Nell supposed to say no to her?
She reached out, gently cupping the back of Sarah’s neck, pulling her mouth to her own, devouring her in one breath.
“I love being risky with you,” she murmured hot against Sarah’s mouth, her fingers slipping under the hem of Sarah’s skirt and past her underwear in one fluid movement, diving into her heat as the rest of the club disappeared and the sound of the music faded around them.
The next morning, the villa’s kitchen was quiet, sunlight warming the marble countertops, as citrus and rosemary curled through the air from the breakfast tray the butler was laying out.
Nell sat perched at the end of the oversized island, barefoot in silk pajamas, her laptop open in front of her, a glass of green juice beside it, and an IV drip in her arm delivering hydration, vitamins, and a cocktail of whatever else her body needed to bounce back from the night before.