Epilogue
SARAH
Absolutely. That place in town you love?
Perfect. See you there.
Sarah approached a tiny café in the heart of town, tucked away between the array of shops that made up the main street.
She pushed through the door, the familiar chime jingling above her head.
She spotted Beth immediately, her blonde hair piled into a messy topknot that somehow always managed to look effortless and intentional.
Beth met her eyes, smiling as she waved her over.
She slid into the chair opposite Beth, and almost immediately, a ceramic mug was placed in front of her, and a woman named Bev filled it with fresh coffee from a pot she was carrying around.
“Thank you,” she said to the woman, who smiled, saying she’d be back in a moment to take their orders.
The sound of silverware clinking against plates carried through the small café. August morning light streamed in through the windows, and the smell of buttered toast and strong coffee wrapped around her.
She had no idea how she was expecting this discussion with Beth to go.
It had been four and a half months since that conversation in her rental car, since she had set a very firm boundary around communication.
The subsequent months of silence had given her the time she so desperately needed to breathe.
She had been hesitant to send that text last night, hesitant to bridge the canyon between them created by silence and distance, but it had felt like it was time.
Sarah had prepared herself for awkwardness she was sure would be there today, but surprisingly, there wasn’t any.
Being across from Beth, sharing a meal, was the most familiar thing in the world to her at this point.
After all, they had been doing it for the better part of twenty years.
Being near Beth was like finding a sweater she’d sworn she had outgrown, only to be surprised that it still somehow fit perfectly.
It was unsettling to see how Beth still managed to carry such a deep sense of home.
Beth stirred her coffee with care, her eyes watching the swirls of cream moving around the dark liquid. “I’m sorry, Sarah,” she said, their eyes meeting over the bowl of individual creamers between them.
Sincerity lived in those deep pools of blue looking back at her, and she knew Beth truly did mean it.
“I’m sorry for what happened back in March and for how our conversation went in April, for dragging you into my mess. I was completely out of line.”
Sarah let the words settle between them as she fought the old version of herself that immediately wanted to jump in and soothe, to insist that it was fine and do anything to lessen Beth’s guilt. But Nell had been an excellent teacher in the power of silence, in letting the truth speak for itself.
“Thank you for saying that.”
Beth’s shoulders sagged, and she exhaled visible relief as Bev, their waitress, approached the table to take their order.
Before the last few months of space, Sarah would have wanted to rehash all the details of what had happened between the two of them, dissecting each moment of their entire relationship, unable to let anything go until she felt like she understood every angle of what had gotten them to this place.
Then she would have tried to manage the hell out of it to make sure she didn’t come out the other side as the “bad guy.”
But sitting here now, she had a new clarity.
She realized she didn’t need to know those details her old self would have endlessly pursued.
She’s not responsible for managing Beth’s relationship with Jamie, or her feelings, or her happiness.
The only thing Sarah was responsible for was herself and her boundaries.
“Let’s put it behind us. Okay?” She looked at Beth. This was the first time she had really seen her in months. “We have one year left before Lily goes to college. I don’t want to waste time being upset with you. I want to enjoy it as a family. So, if you can put it behind us, I can, too.”
Beth nodded. “Yes, absolutely. Consider it in the past.”
“Done. Now that that’s over with, catch me up on life. What’s been going on with you? Working on anything exciting these days?” She saw the slight surprise in Beth’s look.
As they ate, they fell easily into conversation.
Talking to Beth had always felt like the most natural thing in the world to her.
She listened as Beth told her about a new collection she was working on.
She had become really focused on the color yellow over the last few months and was working on a collection with it at its forefront.
Her hands moved animatedly as Beth described a new technique she was experimenting with, and it made her heart happy to see the excitement in Beth’s eyes.
She remembered this version of Beth— the one who always came alive when she talked about her art.
When Beth asked about the firm, Sarah didn’t flinch.
“I stepped away from Braxton, Pryce, and Gallagher. Clint and I are still hashing out the details of what to do about the name, but for now, I’m on sabbatical and not taking on any new cases.
I’ve actually been working with Nell at StanCorp for the past few months. ”
Beth’s brows lifted at the mention of Nell, and Sarah could feel the question she wanted to ask.
“She’s important to me, Beth. If we are going to find a way back to friendship, you need to know that Nell comes with that. No exceptions.”
The faintest smile curved on Beth’s lips, wistful and accepting. “Does she know you’re here with me?”
“Yes,” she answered easily. “She knows everything. Clear and honest communication is rule number one for us.”
Beth’s fingers tapped against her mug as her eyes studied her in that gentle way that was so Beth. “So you two are official, then? You and Nell?”
Sarah inhaled slowly. She had been ready for this question, and she hoped Beth could hear the answer she had for her. “Yes. We are together,” she said simply—no hesitation or qualifiers or labels, simply the truth.
Beth’s fingers paused, curling around her coffee mug before relaxing, resuming their tapping.
“It’s a new thing we’re navigating,” Sarah said, exhaling a laugh, because she knew how messy all this sounded.
“Nell and I, we work. She’s my person and I’m hers.
She doesn’t ask for more of me than I’m willing to give, and I don’t ask her for more either.
I don’t feel like I need to prove anything to her or bend over backward to keep the peace.
And God, I didn’t realize how much I needed that until I had it. ”
She paused, running her finger along the edge of the napkin in her lap, deciding exactly how much to give to Beth. “I also know her. We’re both aware that we don’t see forever in the same way. But what we have now works for both of us.”
Beth’s brow furrowed, curiosity flickering in her eyes. Sarah continued.
“She’s okay with me sharing this with you, but Nell is aromantic.
She’s never pretended otherwise, and I love that about her.
She’s broadened my understanding of the ways two people can love and support each other.
Not everything has to fit in a neat little box for it to be valid.
” Her voice softened as she said the last part, a deep appreciation filling her at the thought of Nell.
“I think for so long I was obsessed with the idea of having forever with someone,” Sarah continued, “with the idea of trying to keep everything perfect and permanent.” She looked at Beth directly, holding her gaze.
“Nell gives me a lot of space and permission to just be without having to worry about any of that. There’s no pressure.
It’s enough that she chooses me today, and I choose her back.
And when that changes—if it changes—I’ll deal with it.
For once, I’m not trying to be ten steps ahead.
I’m just here, with her.” She let the weight of her honesty hang between them.
Beth took the last bite of her waffle, thinking for a moment as she chewed.
“You know, this actually makes sense,” she said.
“I can see how that would work for you right now.” Her eyes looked up, meeting Sarah’s with a mix of sadness and relief.
“It’s strange to picture you in something where the goal isn’t forever.
For as long as we’ve known each other, you’ve always been the girl who wanted the vows, and the mortgage, and the white picket fence. ”
Sarah gave her a slight shrug. “I still want that one day, and Nell knows that, but right now, this works for us.”
Beth nodded, absorbing her words, and when she looked up, Sarah couldn’t quite read the thoughts that lived behind her eyes. There was no fight left, just a softness she hadn’t seen in years.
Sarah flagged the waitress down for the check before covering the meal for both of them.
“My invitation, my treat,” she said, waving Beth off.
As they prepared to part, Sarah hesitated before saying, “I’m having a little get-together tomorrow.
Nothing big. Jamie has all the details already.
It would mean a lot to me and to Nell if you came. ”
The surprise on Beth’s face was hard to miss, but it quickly settled into a warmer look. “Okay, yeah. I’ll be there.”
As they stepped out into the warm August sun, Sarah twisted her wrist, quickly checking the time on the gold watch Nell had given her for her birthday. “Shit, I need to run if I’m going to catch the next ferry.” She turned to look at Beth. “Thanks for meeting me today, and for clearing the air.”
Beth nodded, tucking a loose whisp of blonde hair behind her ear. “Yeah, of course. I’m glad we were able to do this. And thank you for accepting my apology.”