Chapter Nine #4
Jasper watched me closely, and unable to take the heaviness of his stare, I put my head down to walk past him, only for his hand to wrap around mine, causing me to stop dead.
I looked down at his hand, at his fingers threading through mine, then up at Jasper’s face.
He was staring at our hands intensely too, and goose bumps broke out all over my body.
When his gaze lifted to meet mine, he swallowed, then gently freed his hand from mine.
He nodded in goodbye and headed back toward Dahlia’s barn. I watched him walk away, back stiff and shoulders tense. And as I guided Huxley along the path and to his field in the next section of the property, I could still feel Jasper’s fingers entwined with mine.
I could still feel his warmth.
I stared at the clock on the wall. It was 3:00 a.m. I had showered and watched numbly as Dahlia’s blood had circled the drain at my feet.
Two brandies and a bar of chocolate came next.
But none had allowed me to rid myself of the image of Dahlia on the ground, her frightened eyes begging me to help her but being so afraid to let me.
I blew out a frustrated breath and kicked off my quilt. I rubbed my hands over my face and looked out the window. The moon was high in the sky, and the night was crystal clear, making the stars look like scattered glitter particles resting on a black velvet cloth.
I leaned out my window to see the light in Sage’s cottage was off.
Of course it was, she didn’t suffer from insomnia like I did.
My chest swelled when I thought of how she had come barreling into my living room earlier.
Word had spread quickly of the incident.
When she’d finished her training session, the grooms had been telling her how I helped Dahlia. Sage came straight to find me.
“You’re a living legend here at Golden Oaks now,” she’d said, nudging me, only to read the anxiousness that was still on my face and wrap me in a hug.
“I was so scared,” I said into her hair.
“You saved that mare today.” Sage kissed my cheek. “Everyone said how calm and strong you were. Canyon would be proud of you.”
“He was,” I said.
I’d spoken to Canyon afterward. I’d needed to know why I felt so shaken.
He told me that he often did too. Helping a living being in distress was always tough on the soul.
Sage told me that they had sedated Dahlia for her safety and taken her to the veterinarian barn on site.
It was open twenty-four hours, with a resident team of equine veterinarians who only tended to Golden Oaks horses.
Knowing I wouldn’t get any more sleep right now, I dressed in my jeans, sweater, and jacket. I threw on my cowboy boots and stepped into the night. I had only made it a few steps when a flashlight shone before me. I jumped in surprise.
“Sorry, Miss,” the man holding the flashlight said. “Didn’t mean to scare you.” I placed my hand over my heart and calmed down when I saw it was one of the new security guards. He was in an ATV and must have stopped his patrol when he saw me.
“You okay?” he said. “It’s pretty late to be out.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Couldn’t sleep. I’m going to the veterinarian barn to check on a horse.”
“Miss . . . Oakley?” he asked, looking at a clipboard on the seat beside him. I frowned that he knew my name. He pointed at the cottage. “I have you down as staying here.”
I exhaled a relieved breath. God, I was so jumpy tonight.
“Yeah, I’m Hallie,” I said.
“Stanley,” the guard said, introducing himself. “You want a ride to the vet barn?”
“No thanks, I’ll walk,” I said.
“You might see a few more guards around,” Stanley said. “So don’t worry if you do. We’re here for your protection.”
“Thanks,” I said, and began to walk in the direction of the veterinarian barn. I used the walk to breathe in and out and try to settle my frayed nerves, attempting some meditation breathing techniques Aunt Jeanie had taught me when I was younger. They worked a little.
But then my thoughts drifted to Dahlia, then Genny Knighton.
I recalled in vivid color the incident in Saint-Tropez when Dahlia fell on top of Genny.
The details of that incident were never made public.
The rumor mill was rife with guesses—drugs, foul play, and even that an internal injury might have ruptured within Dahlia midcourse.
Whatever it was, the Knightons had certainly had their fair share of bad luck of late.
Another guard was positioned in the distance, the sound of walkie-talkies turning on and off as the team communicated. The woman gave me a wave, and I assumed Stanley had already prepared her for my appearance.
Next, I thought of Jasper. If I were being honest with myself, I’d thought of him nonstop since I’d returned to the cottage earlier this evening.
How, when he had seen me training in the arena with Huxley, he had been his cold and aloof self but had thawed some when his sister spoke to me, as though he liked the sight of us getting along.
But my stomach tightened when I recalled the blatant fear in his eyes, seeing Dahlia on the ground in that field, legs tied up in wire.
The dark circles under his eyes. I hadn’t really noticed it before, but as I remembered his face today, there was a heavy dose of defeat there.
A flicker of helplessness that I hadn’t noted before.
It made me want to hold him, despite the barriers between us.
What burdens was he shouldering? More than people knew, I was sure.
I lifted my hand and studied my fingers in the light of the lamp posts surrounding the pathway. Thank you. The sound of his voice when he came to find me after we got Dahlia stabled played on a loop in my head. The feel of his fingers wrapping around mine were a tattoo on my skin.
“Jasper fucking Knighton,” I said under my breath, frustration in my tone. This man was an enigma to me. He was hot with me one minute and cold the next. I had no idea whether he was toxic or just misunderstood.
Or was he so damaged that he didn’t know how to open himself up?
I shook my head, unable to decide, when I realized I’d arrived at the veterinarian barn.
There was an illuminated green cross on the side of the building.
I opened the doors, and a woman around my age was busy stocking shelves.
She looked up. “Hi,” I said, “I know this is unusual, and it’s very late, but I’m a rider here and helped a horse today—”
“Hallie?” the woman said.
I blinked in surprise. “Yes?” I replied, a question in my tone asking how she knew my name.
The small blonde came to me and held out her hand. “I’m Katie, a veterinary assistant here at Golden Oaks. Firstly, I’m a huge fan and can’t wait to see you on the tour in a couple of weeks.” That made me smile. “And secondly, the place is abuzz with your name and how you helped Dahlia today.”
My eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Really?”
“Really,” Katie said, and let go of my hand, only to squeeze my arm. “We all love Genny around here, and that horse is her life. The thought of anything else happening to them . . .” Katie shook her head. “We’d been told you might show up to see Dahlia, and to let you in so you can see she’s okay.”
“You were told that?” I asked, perplexed, wondering who the hell might have suspected I’d come here.
Katie nodded. “Dahlia’s section of the barn is closed off to everyone but Genny, Jasper, the Knighton family, and you.
” My heart slammed in my chest. It couldn’t have been Jasper who said I’d turn up, could it?
I thought back on the way I’d broken into his family barn—twice.
The way he often commented that I always broke the rules, and realized it just might be him.
“She’s this way,” Katie said, and I followed her through double doors and down a hallway that led to a row of sectioned, private stalls.
When we got to Dahlia’s stall, my heart lodged in my throat.
She was bandaged and cut in several places, but she was clean, and she looked a damn sight better than she did earlier today.
Dahlia was currently sleeping, and I almost cried at how peaceful she looked. Katie laid her hand on my back, a soothing gesture. “I’ll leave you to it. Dahlia should sleep awhile yet. If you need me, I’ll be out front.”
“Thank you,” I said, never taking my eyes off Dahlia. The emotions that had plagued me for the last several hours began to drift away the more I watched her. She was alive. She was healing. Everything was okay.
My shoulders sagged, releasing all my pent-up tension, and I laid my arms on the top of the stall door, dropping my forehead on them, and just breathed. I could release the anxiety now; it was over.
I wasn’t sure how long I had been standing there when I heard the faint sound of a door opening and closing behind me.
I didn’t even have to raise my head to look.
I knew who had just stepped into this private section of the barn with me.
The hairs on the back of my neck only stood up that way for one person.
Without turning I said, “I didn’t break in this time. I have it on good authority from Katie that my visit was preapproved.”
Jasper didn’t respond, and the silence had me twisting to face him.
I wanted to scream when I did, because it didn’t matter how many times I saw this man, my body responded in the same way—heart racing, pulse pounding, and me finding him the most attractive person on the entire planet.
Even now, with his dark hair disheveled and free from his flat cap, dressed in his well-worn Barbour jacket, jeans, and boots, he looked like he could have just walked off a runway.
But that’s not what had me most captivated. It was his eyes. His midnight eyes that right now were fixed on me, the intensity of his stare sending shivers down my spine. I cleared my throat. “Was it?” I said, trying to get him to talk. “Was it you who gave me permission to be in here?”