Chapter Nine #6
I did. Of course I did. The news had rocked the equestrian world. “Yes. I’m so sorry.” It had been a car accident. It was a wet, cold night, and his car veered off the road, killing Mr. Knighton instantly.
Jasper grew silent. I felt like he was going to say something else, but whatever it was must have been too hard for him to express.
After a minute of contemplative silence, he said, “When Genny had her accident, I thought that was it. That I was going to be the only remaining member of my nuclear family.” My stomach sank.
It was like the energy seeped from Jasper’s body .
. . No, not energy—hurt feelings he’d needed to share.
“I’m fortunate in life, I know that. I have more money than I could ever ask for, and I love the industry we’re in.
But watching my sister struggle with her recovery and Dahlia .
. .” Jasper’s attention went to the stall.
I could still hear Dahlia’s steady breathing.
Jasper turned to me, and I swallowed a lump in my throat at the sincerity in his eyes.
“What you did today for Dahlia, for Genny . . .” Jasper became at a loss for words.
“It was nothing,” I said, and tried to wave him off. It didn’t work.
“It wasn’t nothing,” he said, voice stern, the gruff and dominant Jasper returning to the surface.
He squeezed my hand tighter. “It wasn’t nothing, Hallie.
It was a gift, one that I didn’t deserve after how I’ve treated you.
” I didn’t know how to respond to his candor.
Jasper tipped his head to the side, studying me.
“You truly have a gift, Hallie. I’ve never seen anyone work that kind of magic with horses.
” He pointed at the stall. “Especially with Dahlia.”
“Just a few tips I picked up on my daddy’s ranch.
People write off ranchers and horse farmers as though they aren’t impressive.
But I’ve never seen people work with horses as well as cowboys do.
” I thought of Canyon. “I have a brother of sorts, Canyon. He’s amazing with horses.
If you talk of someone having a gift? That’s him.
It’s almost magical.” I shrugged. “I just imitated him today. Thankfully it worked.”
“Thankfully,” Jasper said, but the way he was now looking at me made it difficult to breathe. I wasn’t sure if it was in awe or in censure.
“What?” I asked, my usual sassy attitude slowly rising back to the surface.
“You’re one impressive woman, Hallie Oakley,” he said, and I felt my cheeks burst with redness. Awe. He was looking at me in awe.
I nudged Jasper’s shoulder. “You’re not so bad yourself,” I said, then stared him down.
“When you’re not being a moody prick.” I expected him to laugh, or at least crack a smile, but he didn’t.
“I was joking, Jasper. Kind of . . .” I went to say, because he had been a moody prick, but he interrupted and said, “I came here tonight because I couldn’t bear you thinking so ill of me. ”
I swallowed, trying to warn my heart not to explode at his confession.
“I wasn’t always this person, Hallie,” he said, brokenly.
“I wasn’t always such a prick.” I knew he wasn’t.
I’d met him when he was lighter, freer. Unburdened.
“I took out all my stress on you because you saw me at my lowest. My newest rider”—he exhaled a stuttered breath and shook his head in shame—“the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, saw me drunk on whiskey and unraveled on my family’s barn floor.
” He paused, then said, “I’m the head of my family.
I can’t unravel. Especially when someone else could witness it. ”
A mix of emotions swirled within me. I wanted to cry for how broken and alone he was, I wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be okay, even if I didn’t know it was true.
But mostly, I couldn’t stop replaying the words the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my head.
I couldn’t stop them from sinking into my soul.
“When it gets too much. In here . . .” He tapped his head.
“I become someone even I can’t stand.” Jasper released his hold on my hand on his chest to push back my hair from my face, and I thought I might combust. “I didn’t even care about how much I had plunged into the dark until you arrived and called me out.
Until you saved my sister’s horse today, just out of the kindness of your heart because that’s the type of person you are.
Despite my being awful to you, you helped me and didn’t think twice about doing so. ”
Flattered, a smile pulled on my lips. Jasper mirrored it. “You didn’t deserve to be spoken to like that,” he said, then added, “That’s why I wanted to speak to you. To apologize and tell you that I appreciate your help today more than I can ever express.”
“Thank you,” I said, my body so light that I felt like I could float away. Jasper’s hand in mine was the only thing that kept me grounded.
“How’s Genny?” I asked.
“Good, thanks to you,” he said, and I wasn’t sure I could take Jasper being this kind to me. I was already struggling to keep him at arm’s length as it was. Sweet Jasper had the potential to destroy me.
Perhaps feeling we were on dangerous territory too, Jasper released my hand. “I’d better get home,” he said, and got to his feet.
Before he could move, I stood in his path and said, “Thank you.” Jasper frowned in confusion. “For swallowing your pride and coming to say sorry to me.” I shrugged. “I know it’s not always easy, especially for moody souls like you.” I was joking—partly—and I just hoped he knew it.
Then Jasper smiled widely, and the beautiful sight nearly knocked me off my feet. “It was tough, but I got through it.”
I laughed loudly when I realized he was joking in return. “You’re so brave,” I said, sarcastically, but making sure he heard the thread of truth in that statement too. He had a lot on his plate, and he was brave for taking it all on.
Jasper stepped closer and closer until he was almost pressed against me.
Shivers ran down my spine at breakneck speed when he cupped my face and said, “If I don’t see you before you go to Doha, good luck.
” My lips parted, and Jasper’s heavy gaze dropped to my mouth.
I held still as his head leaned in, until at the very last minute, Jasper pressed a soft kiss on my forehead.
“Despite what I said to you the other day, you are the best rider I have seen in a long time . . . maybe ever.”
Shock held me in its grip because his voice never wavered.
He was telling the truth. Jasper moved around me and left for the door, but I snapped out of my stupor enough to say, “What do I need to work on?” Jasper Knighton was a global champion several times over.
His advice was like gold dust. Of course I had weaknesses, everyone did. And I truly did want his opinion.
“Leon will support you with all that,” he said. “He’s the best at what he does.”
“But I’m asking you,” I said back, boldly. Something Jasper seemed to like if the subtle flaring of his eyes was anything to go by.
He was silent for a beat, before he said, “You hold your breath on the approach to a jump. It affects your balance.” I did do that. He was right. I tried to change it, but in the moment, often forgot.
“What else?” I pushed, feeling like the twelve-year-old wannabe rider getting coached from her hero.
“Your hands are too high, especially in the jump-offs when you’re pushing your horse to the brink.” My cheek twitched at just how easily Jasper gave feedback. Ever the perfectionist. “That’s what I’d work on between now and Doha.”
“Thank you,” I said, and meant it. Jasper nodded his head, then I asked, “What are your weaknesses?”
His expression was serious as he studied my face.
I wanted to know that a world champion had things to work on too.
I wanted him to talk to me like I’d told him he could.
Jasper folded his arms over his chest, then said, “These days?” he asked, and I nodded eagerly.
“I just have one,” he said, cryptically.
“One I’m not sure I’ll be able to overcome. ”
With that, Jasper left through the barn doors, but I was sure I heard “’Night, Angel” as he walked down the hallway. My heart kicked into a heady sprint, and my body filled with lightness, a far cry from where I’d been only hours ago.
Lifting my shaking hand to my forehead, I traced the spot Jasper’s lips had just kissed. He had come to apologize to me. He was in a dark place because of all he’d gone through of late. And I was pretty sure that weakness he was referring to? Had nothing to do with his riding skills.
I dropped down to the bench and stared into space.
Jasper Knighton was a deeply layered man. A man I had vowed to stay away from. Only now the thought of leaving him to go on tour brought pangs of pain to my heart.
But it was probably for the best. I had vowed to be here with no distractions. To ride with the sole intent of being top of the rankings. If Jasper came with us, I wasn’t sure I could stay focused.
Him not coming on tour was certainly for the best.
I just wished I could convince my soul of that fact too.