Chapter Fifteen #7
I pushed my hands through Hallie’s hair, and said, “Not everything. Not the best thing. Not yet.” Hallie’s worried expression grew soft. “That’s why I can’t risk you, Angel. You’re too fucking important to me to put in harm’s way. As much as I want you, I can’t have you.”
Hallie lay down on my chest, and I peppered kisses wherever I could reach.
She lifted her head after a few silent minutes and said, “Could we keep this quiet? Just between us?” The burst of warmth that exploded in my chest at that point was off the charts.
But it was still too risky, and I shook my head.
“No, please,” Hallie said. “Listen to me.” Hallie wrapped her arms around my neck, imploring me to hear her out.
“No one would need to know outside of our family and friends. And even they wouldn’t need to know if you felt it wasn’t safe.
” My heart began to race. I loved what Hallie was saying.
But it felt impossible. “Like you said, I’m at the start of my professional career.
Keeping it to ourselves would keep us from gossip too.
Accusations that I was using you to get ahead.
The likes of Camille and Alexis would get nothing on me. ”
My blood boiled with instant anger. “No one would fucking dare,” I spat.
At my reaction, lust built in Hallie’s gaze. “Keeping this to ourselves, it wouldn’t allow any of those rumors to spread. I could keep my focus on the Grand Prix, you wouldn’t have to worry someone would target me . . .” Hope pulsed off her in waves. “And we could still have this. Be like this.”
“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” I said. “Sneaking around . . . It wouldn’t be fair.”
“You’re not asking me. I’m suggesting it,” Hallie said. She traced invisible words on my chest. “I . . .” A blush burst on her cheeks. “I want this, Jasper.” I stopped breathing as she met my eyes. “I want you. However that must be.”
I dropped my head to Hallie’s forehead and just breathed her in. Her strength, her affection, the fucking peace I felt when I was with her. I wanted what she was offering. I wanted it so fucking badly I was dying to say yes, to agree.
“Whoever is after me has managed to infiltrate every area of my life. As much as we wish we could keep this quiet, they might find out.” I shook my head. “Then they’d be after you.”
“You’re worth the risk,” Hallie said, determination in her turquoise eyes. Then she smiled and said, “And I’m a real good shot with a gun.” Despite the heaviness pressing down on us, I laughed. It felt good.
“I don’t doubt it,” I said, kissing her cheek.
“Sleep on it,” Hallie said, hope remaining in her blue stare. “Just . . . just don’t throw us away without taking some time to think it all through. I’ve . . .” Hallie blushed and simultaneously destroyed me. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”
Right then, I wanted to burn down the fucking world just so whoever was targeting me was taken out. Because I felt the same way for Hallie, probably more.
“Please . . . don’t give up on us just yet.”
I nodded, then just lay with her until the bath water was cold and Hallie’s breathing had slowed to a relaxed, steady pace. I glanced down to see she had fallen asleep. A knife sliced through my chest. I wanted this too. I wanted her.
Lifting Hallie, I stepped out of the bath with her in my arms. I wrapped her in a towel, then took her to bed, tucked her underneath the duvet, and closed the hotel curtains.
For several long minutes I sat beside her, just watching her sleep.
She was perfect. If someone had told me a few months ago I’d be here now with a woman I was more than infatuated with, one who clasped onto my heart harder each day, I would never have believed them.
But here I was, contemplating throwing all my self-imposed rules into the wind to have secret stolen moments during the day and long nights by her side.
Leaning down, I pressed a kiss on her cheek.
I didn’t know yet what I was going to do.
Seeing her like this, peaceful and happy .
. . I couldn’t imagine doing anything to hurt her.
And sadly, that included being with me. But a damn magnet with the force of gravity was keeping me at her side.
I kissed her again, then got up to go back to my room.
I looked to the floor for my clothes, only to feel soft fingers hold on to my hand.
I glanced down, and with sleep-filled half-lidded eyes, Hallie whispered, “Stay.” I needed to go back to my room to think.
My flight was first thing in the morning.
I had only hours until I had to be at the airport.
Hallie blinked slowly, and said again, “Please. Stay.”
Her fingers squeezed my hand, and that was all it took for me to lift the duvet and slip underneath. Hallie immediately curled against me, and I wrapped her in my arms.
I turned off the lamp beside the bed and didn’t sleep one wink, just listening to her breathe and internally debating what was for the best. But as Hallie turned and laid a kiss on my cheek, I wasn’t sure there was a debate anymore.
My heart had already made its choice.