Amber
What was he doing back in my room?
I reached out and switched my lamp on. The warm glow instantly lit up my room. He stood beside the door, a hand braced against it. He looked ill.
“Who is Luke Newbury?” he spat out.
I sat upright.
“Mum’s fiancé.” I shrugged.
“There is something off about that man,” he said, before crossing into my room.
What was he expecting me to say? He hadn’t stuck around to see my mum struggle to function, hide her sorrow, or pick up the pieces again.
“She deserves to be happy,” I said, my voice stiff but determined.
His face darkened beneath the warm light.
“And my dad deserved to fucking die?”
“Nobody is saying that, and you know Mum never left his side at the hospital.”
He grunted, sitting on the chair beside my desk. He stretched his legs out while he continued to stare at me. I had some stuffed toys on my bed, and his eyes lingered on them.
“Dump Nolan.”
What the hell?
“No.”
His lips tugged at the corner. A slow, cruel smile I remembered well.
“We both know who you really love, Amber.”
How could he bring that up? After—Alisha.
“I was a thirteen-year-old with a stupid crush,” I said, my voice cold and calm.
“A few weeks away from your fourteenth birthday, as I recall,” he drawled.
His eyes dropped down. Slow and insolent, taking me in before he raised them.
“You’re all grown up now,” he said, his voice low and husky.
“And you’re delusional,” I said, with all the conviction I could muster.
Because he broke me by proving he didn’t care. He left us. It took me years before I went on a date. Nolan was safe, and I knew by summer we’d part ways as we went to different universities.
“Is that right?” he said, standing up.
He grew closer, and I pulled my covers up to my neck. The small single bed dipped beneath his weight as he sat beside me. He moved so fast he caught me off guard.
I blinked when his lips covered mine.
It was so wrong.
It was so right.
This was Zach.
I dropped the covers and tried to kiss him back. It was harder than it looked on TV. I felt awkward and clumsy until he growled against my mouth. His fingers yanked on my hair, repositioning my head as his tongue delved deeper.
It was hot, wet, and I held onto him.
The secret dreams and daydreams I’d had of this moment. I wanted it to last forever. It was happening. This was real.
He pulled back.
My lips felt damp and raw.
He smiled, hand still tangled in my hair.
“That was your first kiss, wasn’t it?”
Dread filled my belly.
Even at twenty-three, Zach hadn’t changed. He was still the angry, cruel boy.
“Dump him, Amber. I own you,” he murmured, tapping the tip of my nose. “We’re family after all.”
The derision was so heavy in his voice that I felt ill.
“Listen to your stepbrother, and I might just pop that sweet cherry of yours,” he said, releasing my hair.
“Get out,” I said, feeling tears burn in my eyes.
Shame seared through me. It all came rushing back. Alisha reading my diary out to him and his friends. Exposing me. For the love I’d once felt.
Innocent. Stupid little girl who’d lived in a world of make-believe.
“Get rid of him,” he snapped, standing up.
I held on, waiting for him to leave, and only when my door closed did the floodgates open. I sobbed into my pillow, long and hard. My eyes felt raw and burned. I hadn’t cried like that in years.
I’d blocked out the humiliating event. It was the only way I’d survived the gossip. The looks. High school had been hell once that evil cow had blabbed.
For once, I knew what was good for me. I wished Zach would fuck off back to uni. But even as I curled into a ball and held onto a furry toy, I considered ending it with Nolan.
He deserved better.
I broke down again.
The tears and snot continued until I was numb.
He followed me into my dreams, and even there, he held all the power to corrupt me.