Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Jase
Present
I couldn’t sleep. Not after what happened.
Not knowing Monroe was upstairs, lying in bed, probably replaying what almost happened tonight in her mind like I was.
The way my fingers lingered for a second too long on her hip reminded me of the way they explored every inch of her body during our night together, and how badly they ache to do it again.
To find out if her needs have changed at all in the months since we were together.
Does she still like to have her head stroked while she takes my cock in her mouth?
Will she come harder if I pull her hair back to give me a better angle so I can hit her throat?
Does she still have the imprint of my fingers on her ass, as I took her from behind only to flip her over to do the same to her as my lips devoured hers? Do her lips taste the same?
I was lucky enough to discover the answer to that question, and it only made me want her more.
If I’d known Indy was going to show up tonight, bombarding me with unrealistic expectations, I never would have agreed to the friendship she was so adamant about keeping.
I never would have answered her call or shown up at her door offering my help.
I would have kept my distance the way I knew I should have from the start.
Instead, I pretended she didn’t want me back even though I knew it was exactly what she was scheming. Her supposed need for me to be a phone call away, running to her when she called was her way of showing she still had some power over me.
Now she’s back, and worst of all, she showed up on my doorstep at the worst possible time. Just when I’m finally hitting a turning point with Monroe, as I’m gaining back her trust, she barges in with a declaration of love and wanting me back only to find out I have a pregnant woman living with me.
I don’t know where Monroe and I stand. I could have figured it out before Indy showed up, but now, I don’t know what we are.
I asked her to consider faking a relationship with me for the sake of pacifying my mother, when in reality there’s nothing I want more than for her to finally accept there’s something more between us.
This isn’t just dealing with the consequences of knocking up my sister’s best friend, this is starting a family with a woman I like.
I know this can be a bad idea, one that might end with me heartbroken, but I am helpless when it comes to her.
I can’t continue the way things are. I want Monroe to be mine.
If making her believe I’m pretending, while doing everything I can to convince her it’s what she really wants, is the way to go, then that’s what I’ll do.
When Indy showed up, it looked like Monroe had seen a ghost. I didn’t know what to say.
Why couldn’t I like dudes? I’m pretty sure there's a lot less drama. Then again, all of my friends are pretty high maintenance too. Take Nash, for example, a whipped man thanks to my sister. He’d do anything the woman asked of him to please her.
I’m sure if his brothers were in a relationship, they’d be the same way.
Then there’s Tucker, who’s been too in love with the same girl since I’ve known him and has yet to find the courage to ask her out.
Then we have Jake, who, although he works for my father, I’ve never let that impede our friendship.
He could have been a good catch. The ladies seem to love him, and although we aren't as close as we once were, particularly now that Nash has returned and is dating my sister, Jake’s always been a loyal guy.
Here I am, unable to comprehend my inability to tell Indy to go fuck herself.
She’s back two years after dumping me because she didn’t feel like our relationship was going anywhere.
It left me with a horrible taste in my mouth, because I had seen our relationship going somewhere.
Yeah, I spend most of my time working with my father, letting him dictate my priorities, but it was something I was contemplating changing until she texted me we were better off as friends.
This time around, I should have been the one to tell her I was done, but I didn’t.
I hurt Monroe with my words, with my actions, with my inability to tell Indy to leave and never come back.
I’ve always had a soft spot for her, and tonight she used it to her advantage.
She knew I couldn’t just send her away in the middle of the night.
I sure as hell wasn’t gonna drive her home myself, even if her tire miraculously lost air as she drove into my driveway and she didn’t have a spare.
I thought that sending her off to stay at my parents' house was a good idea, but now that I think about it, she and my mom might be scheming about a potential reconciliation.
My mother adored Indy and, mostly, our relationship.
She would much rather I had married the woman and then started a family, what I have with Monroe, which was quite the opposite.
I feel like a total bastard for even contemplating kissing Monroe again when I was the one who just made this situation so much more difficult, but I can't help it if I want her.
Unable to take the tension any longer, I exit my room and grab a glass of water, heading to the gym for a late-night session or taking a walk out on the property to make sense of the thoughts running through my mind.
What I don’t expect is to hear a door open upstairs.
Taking the steps two at a time, I head upstairs, stopping at her bedroom to find the door slightly ajar, illuminating the shape of her sitting alone at the edge of her bed.
There’s a loud ringing in my ear as I watch her chest rise and fall with unsteady breaths, her face in her palms, shielding her eyes.
She doesn’t know I’m here. She hasn’t heard me approach, but I can't just stand out here and watch the woman I care for upset because I have hurt her.
I tap softly on the door, announcing my arrival. Immediately, her head shoots up, eyes red and swollen, roaming until they find me. She stares at me with her mouth open, embarrassment high as the internal turmoil threatens to make her run away as I walk farther into the room.
“I didn’t know she was coming,” I say, keeping my voice low and calm as I walk toward her.
She straightens, trying to erase the look of defeat in her eyes as speaks. “You didn’t ask her to leave either.”
I let out a slow, deep exhale, unsure of how to respond. She’s right. I didn’t ask her to leave. I stood there and let Indigo spew lie after lie about why she was here, even if I couldn’t see through the bullshit.
“It’s not what you’re thinking. It wasn’t a big deal.”
“That’s the problem, Jase,” she says, as she stands and walks my way, closing the distance between us.
“It never is. Not to you.” With her hands clenched at her sides, her eyes rake over my bare chest. “I’m living in your house.
Pregnant. Watching your ex flirt with you on your front porch like I don’t exist.”
I definitely wasn’t expecting her to say that. If she wasn’t crying, I’d jump at the thought of it being jealousy, but Monroe looks so hurt by what I’ve done. “She doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.”
“But you haven’t said that to her. And even if you did, you don’t owe me anything, Jase. We never agreed to be anything more than parents to our baby.”
Now I can’t hide the smile that slips from my lips. Jealousy never looked so goddamn sexy. My fingers twitch with a nervous energy, a potent cocktail of desire and possessiveness coursing through my veins. “I agreed to be yours.”
“In the eyes of your mama, who I’m sure will be quite thrilled to see your ex-girlfriend is back, so don’t worry about holding up that ruse on my account.”
I take a step closer, reaching for her and not stopping when she moves away. I told her I wouldn’t touch her, but this is different. I need her to feel me, to feel the truth of my promise.
“Moonshine,” I say, using the nickname she loves to hate. “You think I’d go through all this, ask you to live here with me and try to prove to you that I want more than just to co-parent with you if I wanted her back?”
She purses her lips, a flicker of doubt momentarily softening the hard line of her jaw. “And what if she wants you back?”
My smile grows wider. “Monroe Bishop, are you jealous?”
She scoffs, rolling her eyes in the way I love. “Oh, please don’t flatter yourself. All I’m saying is this is an inconvenience.”
“You don’t have to lie to me, baby. I want you too, and I promise I won’t let Indy and whatever she wants come between us.”
I don’t give her a chance to answer. Crashing my lips against hers, I take what I’ve so desperately wanted since the last time my lips left hers. A surprised gasp escapes her, quickly becoming a soft moan as I deepen the kiss, pulling her closer.
Her fingers reach for the drawstring of my sweats, a subtle tremor running through her body as she tugs them, wanting more than what I’m offering.
The scent of her, a mix of vanilla and something uniquely hers, fills my senses, intoxicating me further.
I almost want to give in and let her take what she wants, but I can't. Not like this.
“Jase, please,” she moans, but I know this isn’t her. It’s her mind clouded by lust that’s asking me to take this further.
My heart hammers against my ribs as a wave of heat washes over me at the sound of my name from her lips, prickling my skin, and my breath catches in my throat as she melts against me.
With my hands on her ass, I pull her against me, letting her feel my thick and hard erection against her warm pussy.
She needs to feel what she’s doing to me.
That she’s the most beautiful woman in the world, the only one I want.
“Fuck, baby. You don’t understand how badly I want you, Monroe.”
“Then prove it, Jase.”
It takes everything in me to pull away, but I know it’s what I need to do. She’s not ready for this. And I won’t fuck her again just to prove my ex-girlfriend's return won’t change anything. “I won’t do this with you again, Monroe. Not when I know you’ll regret it in the morning.”
Silence stretches between us, filled with everything she won’t say, so I speak for her.
“I don't know what you want because you never tell me.” I can see how frustrated and unsure she is, refusing to say the words stuck in her throat. This will never work unless she admits she wants me. Her lips part as if she’s going to speak, but her silence feels louder than any admission.
Her eyes, wide and shimmering, plead silently, and her vulnerability almost shatters my resolve. Almost convinces me to disregard everything, but if I want this between us to be more than just a physical pull, I need to make things as clear as possible.
I place a soft kiss on her forehead, one that says so much with no words. “Get some sleep, Moonshine.”