Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Monroe
Christmas morning at the newly improved Bishop Ranch is like nothing I would have ever expected.
The place is buzzing by the time Jase and I arrive, and it’s only ten in the morning.
Christmas Day brunch was Bailey’s idea, but after the night I had, waking up early in the morning was the last thing I wanted to do.
Here we are, bright and early, gifts in hand, headed toward the second most awkward Christmas celebration we’ve both ever been part of. However, this one I don’t think we’ll survive unscathed.
As we drive up to my childhood home, which now looks unrecognizable thanks to the months of remodeling that Monty, Nash and I accomplished, I catch movement from inside the wide living room windows.
Billie and Brynn are dancing and singing while behind them, the large Christmas tree stands front and center.
A beautiful, large pine tree taking up almost the entire back wall, decorated in bright colored lights and beautiful ornaments.
My brothers are huddled at the far end of the living room, glasses of whiskey neatly tucked into their hands as they pretend not to smile at the women who move without a care in the world.
The sight of them all gathered together, enjoying themselves, makes my stomach churn as nerves creep inside me.
How are Jase and I going to fit into this? How will everyone react to the news that we’re together?
I know it isn’t real, but Jase and I agreed that acting like we’re in a committed relationship is in our best interests. If we want the freedom to make the right decisions for our future, at our pace, with no one else’s involvement, everyone has to believe it’s real.
Especially his mama and the little southern belle at her side, who’s determined to take back what she gave up. The sight of Indigo Harper, all smug and proper, still makes my stomach tighten in a knot.
“Are you sure you're ready for this?” Jase asks, sensing my unease. He takes my hand in his, and I can’t help but flinch at the heat of his touch. “You know if anyone is going to believe this, you’re going to have to get comfortable with me touching you.”
“There’s no need for PDA. My brothers wouldn’t care if we don’t touch.” But he’s right. After what he said last night—that his touch, although foreign, needs to comfort me—I don’t pull away.
He lets out a low chuckle that makes me incredibly aware of how close we are, and what a bad idea this is going to be. “With the way Nash and Bailey are always in each other’s arms, I plan to make him equally uncomfortable in my presence.” I roll my eyes in annoyance as I reach for the door handle.
“Wait,” he says, hopping out of the truck and coming around to open my door.
He extends a hand out for me to take. “I’m a gentleman, Ms. Bishop,” he says with a bow.
I smile, though I turn away so he doesn't catch it, and reluctantly grab his hand, stepping out of the truck. I’m careful not to trip as my body shakes in awareness of how close we are.
Distracted by the scent of his cologne, I take a step forward and nearly twist my ankle as my high-heeled boot steps into the crack in the pavement. My face crashes against his chest as his arms come around and envelop me in a blanket of safety.
“Whoa, there, baby,” he says, his voice smooth and full of desire, making my thighs clench. “When I said I was going to get you to fall at my feet, this isn’t exactly what I meant.”
I push him off, hating the knowing smirk on his perfect, smug face. “This is a bad idea.”
His smile widens as he grabs the gifts we brought from the back seat, and I’m in awe of how fucking good he looks.
God, I hate him for making me want him so badly, and now that I have agreed to let him touch me for the sake of making this look real, I don't know how I will survive it.
His words from last night ring in my mind.
My hands will never leave your skin. My mouth will own your lips, and my cock, it’s going to love to call you mine.
The way I ached to touch myself last night after fleeing to the safety of my locked bedroom, I forced myself to sleep but woke up in pain from how aroused I was.
“There’s no going back, Moonshine. You’re the one who told my mama yesterday that we were in a relationship and in love. I’m sure by now my sisters and your brothers have heard the news.”
I recall the message I received this morning from Billie demanding to know why the hell I hadn’t told her I was dating Jase. I followed up with a promise to explain things tonight, but if Jase thinks it’s better off keeping the secret from everyone, then I won’t be able to tell her a damn thing.
The shimmering sequin top I paired with a denim skirt reflects off the twinkle lights strung around the porch railings as we approach the house. My nerves kick into high gear as the sounds of laughter radiate from inside.
“Steady, baby,” Jase whispers into the crook of my neck, his hand steady on my hip.
“Monroe, Jase, I’m so glad you guys came!” Brynn shrieks, opening the door to the house like she owns the place. For a moment, I hesitate in the doorway as an overexcited Brynn wraps me in a tight embrace. “Oh, Monroe, you look stunning. Glowing and gorgeous.”
Jase catches my unease and leans in, tugging his little sister toward him. “Where’s my hug, Brynnie?”
From behind her, I catch sight of Monty, Theo, and Nash watching us closely as Brynn leads us in.
The moment we enter the foyer, the smell of cinnamon, French toast, coffee and pine needles hits me, and for a second, it’s like walking straight into one of those perfect holiday movies.
Except this one stars my overprotective and brooding brothers, and the man they are currently sizing up like they haven’t known him their whole lives.
Jase’s hand rests lightly at the small of my back as we walk further into the house, the heat of it both steadying and distracting. Bailey looks up from the kitchen island where she’s arranging platters of cinnamon rolls and a tray of scrambled eggs.
“Monroe,” she shouts, rushing for me, but Billie intercepts.
“Merry Christmas, Moe,” Billie says, moving in for a quick hug. “I am so glad you’re here. I was going crazy without you.” She takes a step back and looks at Jase as her gaze flicks between us as if she’s trying to decipher the puzzle before her. “Jameson.”
“Billie,” Jase says, and for once, neither of them sounds defensive.
Theo is the first of my brothers to come to join us, pulling me in for a tight hug. “Well, look who decided to show up. We were starting to think you two bailed.”
“Wouldn’t miss this lovely reunion,” Jase says easily, trying to keep calm as he sets down the gifts. “Merry Christmas.”
Monty's smile is hesitant, and I can see the vein in his neck pulse as he clenches his jaw tight. Instead of returning Jase’s greeting, he lets out a low grunt as he steps back, making way for Bailey, who comes over next, dragging Nash along with her.
“You guys made it! Come in, come in. There are drinks at the bar. The food is ready. I even made some hot cocoa for you, Moe.”
“Coffee, I need coffee, please.” Bailey laughs but leads us over to the kitchen.
As we follow Bailey to the large coffee station she has set up on the kitchen counter, Jase stays behind me, close enough that our shoulders brush ever so slightly as we walk.
Bailey shoves my shoulder slightly, giving me a wink. “It’s nice to see you both here together.”
I manage a smile, unsure if she means it as a genuine sentiment or a subtle prod that she knows something's up. The last time we spoke, Jase picked me up from girls’ night, so their suspicion is already there.
Bailey never reacted negatively to my sleeping with her brother in secret or the fact I kept secret that he was the father of my baby.
If anything, she was the most understanding and, frankly, excited to have a niece or nephew that was related to us both.
We always felt like we were close enough to be sisters, and now it looked like we might just be.
Jase’s hand remains on my lower back, his fingers softly running back and forth in circles to comfort me.
To anyone else, it probably looks like nothing, but it sends a little pulse of heat through me.
Although it shouldn’t, because we both know it’s part of the act.
For me, I'm not so sure if that’s all it is anymore.
“Now that we’re all here, we can start eating,” Bailey says, motioning to Nash to help her carry some of the beautiful spread of food she’s prepared to the dining room.
There is everything from stacks of delicious French toast and cinnamon rolls, beautifully golden scrambled eggs with bacon and apple sausage, freshly baked biscuits with apple butter, and my favorite, an array of apple, blueberry and cherry cobblers.
My mouth waters at the sight of it all. The sweet scent of cinnamon and baked apples, the sizzle of the bacon, and the warmth radiating from the oven-fresh cobblers makes a rumble escape my stomach, eager for the feast to begin.
“Try this,” Bailey says, handing me the iced latte she’s prepared for me.
It may be near the end of December, but I’m an iced coffee any time of the year type of girl.
“It’s a blueberry and vanilla oat milk latte with a sweet cream and cinnamon cold foam and a dusting of granola crumble cereal.
I’m thinking of adding it to the menu at Honeybees. ”
I take a sip of the delicious-looking latte and let out a soft moan as the taste of blueberry muffin hits my tongue. “B, this is incredible,” I say, taking another long sip.
As Jase casually reaches over to wipe the sweet cream off my lip with his thumb, I hear a deep groan from behind us. I can feel at least one pair of eyes on us, but with my brothers following behind, I know they’re all aware of how he’s touched me.
To make matters worse, Jase sucks the cream off his thumb, the whole time keeping eye contact with me, and smirks when he’s sucked it clean. “Delicious,” he murmurs under his breath, but I know everyone’s heard him.
The little giggle Brynn makes as she rushes past us tells me this little show he’s putting on is working.
Jase and I make our way around the table, looking for the name tags Brynn strategically set down over the table setting.
The arrangement is beautiful, with a pastel red, white, and green plaid tablecloth under a burlap runner and bright red charger plates.
Stacked neatly on top are white plates painted with pine needles and bunches of holly, and a cloth napkin folded like a Christmas tree in the center with our names on a gift tag.
It’s impeccably executed and gives me the bright idea of maybe bringing Brynn on board at Monroe Avenue since she obviously has an eye for design.
My brothers are seated at the far side of the table, Bailey beside Nash and opposite them are Billie, Brynn, Camden and his wife. Jase and I, of course, are seated front and center, like we’re on display.
“So,” Monty says casually as we all settle into our seats. “How long has this been going on?”
I guess we’re getting straight into it. None of my brothers have a filter whatsoever, another curse to our name, but Monty usually has more tact than any of us.
Jase doesn’t miss a beat, straightening as he faces my oldest brother. “Since she moved in.” His hand slides over mine on the table, lacing our fingers together to show we’re together but also, I think it’s his way of comforting me.
My knees are trembling under the table. I hate lying to my friends and family.
I hear the gasps in the room as my best friends look as shocked as I expected them to. I simply nod, unable to do much else. “We just didn’t want to make it a big thing until we knew where we stood.”
Nash furrows his brow, but Bailey sets a hand on his shoulder to calm him. “And where do you stand?” he says, his tone much more composed than he looks.
Jase doesn’t cower, looking him straight in the eye and not hesitating as he faces his best friend. “Together. That’s where.”
The silence that follows is brief but thick.
This is exactly what I was afraid of. My brothers look suspicious, my friends are way too eager to know more, and I can't shake the feeling that we’re making a horrible mistake lying to everyone.
A lie that’s my fault because I let my jealousy cloud my judgment.
Brynn smiles as she tears a cinnamon roll in half.
“Well, I think it’s wonderful. It’s Christmas, and you’re here as a family.
This baby is already so loved, and that’s what matters.
” Her smile drops when she says the word family, and it's then I realize her fiancé Tommy is nowhere to be seen. Bailey had mentioned she’s gone to stay with Cam and Holly, but maybe there’s more than just her father’s affair that sent her running from Crossroads.
I don’t blame her. I’ve thought about running away more than a few times in the last few months.
Luckily, the conversation quickly shifts to something more pleasant.
Bailey and Nash talk about their plans to hopefully buy a house in the next year and move out of her apartment.
Beau mentions possibly staying around longer than he’d originally planned now that he’s moved into the home I used to share with Monty and is working remotely.
I’m looking forward to possibly spending some time with him when I go into the office.
Theo still has another six months left on tour, but he’s hinting at some new music in the coming year.
I want to relax and settle into the conversation happening around me, but every laugh, every shared glance between Jase and me brings me back to the lie we’re telling the people we love.
By the time we move back into the living room to open presents, my cheeks hurt from smiling. Jase drops onto the couch beside me, his knee brushing mine. “You okay?” he asks, his voice low so that he isn’t heard by anyone watching us.
His fingers softly move back and forth over my thigh, and a wave of goosebumps covers my skin. He notices, and his smile widens, but he doesn’t stop. I pull the throw blanket over my lap, hiding my legs from view, but Jase doesn’t remove his hand.
I glance up at him, taken aback by desire burning in his eyes, and I know the same need is reflected in mine. “It feels like a performance.”
“Maybe,” he says, leaning in closer. His hot breath tickles my ear. “Or maybe it’s just us finally letting them see the truth we’ve been hiding from ourselves.”
My heart kicks into high gear, and I force myself to look away, focusing on the pile of wrapped boxes at our feet, but his words stay with me. For the first time, I’m not sure if I want the show to end.
“Jameson,” Monty calls out, handing him a glass of bourbon. “Looks like you could use a drink.”