Chapter 43
Chapter Forty-Three
Jase
Idon’t remember how I got here, only that the moment Monty’s name appeared on my phone screen, I had one foot in the car.
The roar of my engine down the back roads, gravel spitting under my tires, rings in my ears.
My heart pounding so hard drowns out everything but Monty’s words from the other side of the phone.
“She’s here. She’s been here the whole time, and she’s not okay.”
When I screech to a stop outside the Bishop ranch, Raven’s waiting on the porch, arms folded tight, her face pale. Her worried expression makes my stomach sink, but I push through the panic and head toward her.
“She’s inside,” she says quietly. “Living room, and she’s burning up, but just don’t push her.”
I don't answer because I’m not making any promises.
I push through the door and there she is, curled up on the leather couch, her hair damp against her temples, skin too pale, lips cracked from dehydration.
Her eyes flutter open at the sound of my feet, glassy and unfocused, and for a second she looks at me like I’m just a dream.
Something in my chest cracks wide open. I rush toward her on my knees beside her before I even realize I’ve moved, as my hand brushes the hair off her clammy forehead.
“Jesus, baby, you scared the hell out of me.”
She blinks slowly, her throat dry. “Jase…”
“Don’t.” My words come out sharp. “Don’t say my name like it’s a goodbye. You don’t get to disappear like that. You don’t get to carry my baby and vanish like I don’t matter. You don’t get to make me love you and pretend you don’t love me back, Moonshine.”
Tears fill his devastatingly beautiful blue eyes, a silent plea to quiet her doubts and assure her I’m here for her. To bring her home.
“I didn’t know how to stay,” she whispers, tears streaming down her face as she tries and fails to sit up.
“Then let me show you how.” My plea is raw and desperate. “I’m begging you, baby. Come back to me. Yell at me, hate me if you have to, but don’t walk away again. I can’t breathe without you. I don’t want to learn how to.”
Her hand trembles against her belly, and I cover it with mine, pressing our palms together over the curve of our baby.
“I love you,” I whisper, the words tearing out like they’ve been trapped behind my ribs. “I love you so much it’s wrecking me, and if I have to spend every day proving it until you believe me again, I will. But I’m begging you, please come home.”
For a long moment, all I hear is the soft rasp of her breath, the rain tapping against the windows, the distant creak of Raven pacing in the kitchen.
Then her eyes close, a single tear sliding down her cheek. “Jase,” her voice is barely there. “I’m so tired.”
“I know.” My forehead presses against hers, my throat burning. “Rest, baby. I’ve got you.”
I do. Scooping her up into my arms. I carry her out to the truck while Raven hovers close, holding the blanket tighter around her shoulders. Monty follows, silent and grim, opening the passenger door while I ease her into the seat.
“She needs a doctor,” Monty says, and I nod in agreement. “Now.”
“I know,” I rasp, but my voice doesn’t sound like mine. I’m so fucking scared of losing her, of losing our baby, but I have to be strong for the both of them.
The drive to the community hospital is a blur, just the rhythmic rise and fall of her shallow breaths beside me reassuring me she’s alive, as she leans her head against the window. By the time we screech into the parking lot, my hands are shaking so badly I can barely unbuckle her seatbelt.
“Monty called,” Millie Dawson says as she meets me by the front door with Dr. Dawson trotting closely behind her.
“Bring her in,” Dr. Dawson says, leading us inside and into one of the hospital rooms. I set her down but refuse to let go, afraid if I do, she might slip away forever.
Minutes that pass feel like hours as Dr. Dawson examines her. Millie immediately hooks her up to an IV after rolling the ultrasound cart into the room.
“She’s dehydrated,” Dr. Dawson explains, scanning her chart as Millie takes her vitals. “Stressed and exhausted.” He runs the ultrasound wand over her belly and immediately a soft thud is heard.
I let out a breath, relieved to hear my baby’s heartbeat, and hold Monroe tighter.
“Monroe’s body’s working overtime, but the baby’s heartbeat is strong,” he says, reassuring us both.
“We’ll monitor both of them closely. I have the necessary equipment, but if anything worsens, we’ll have to transfer her to Colton County General.
” I nod, sagging into the chair, every muscle in me going slack.
“We’ll pray it won’t come to that,” he says when he sees my response to his worry.
He leaves us, and I reach for her hand where it rests over her belly. It’s warm now, and she stirs at my touch, her lashes fluttering open.
“Hospital?” she murmurs, trying to sit up, but I urge her back down.
“Yeah,” I say softly. “Just for the night. You scared the hell out of me.”
Her lips tremble. “I didn’t mean to.”
“I know, but you did. You always do. Because I can’t lose you, Moonshine. I can’t lose you two.” She blinks up at me, her eyes bright red and swollen, but it’s like she’s all out of tears. I lay my head gently against her stomach, unable to take the sight of how frail and miserable she looks.
“Little Bear is okay?” she asks, swallowing back trying to wet her lips. I nod, and I see her body relax. “I’m not going anywhere,” she says, her fingers threading through my hair, and suddenly I can finally breathe again.
“Ithought I lost you,” I say as I help Monroe to the bed.
We’re back home after an overnight stay at the hospital, and I’m running on thirty-six hours of no sleep, but baby is good, mama’s good. All is slowly going back to normal.
“You didn’t, Jase,” she whispers, leaning forward to kiss me. I missed her so fucking much it hurts. Tasting her again, feeling her perfect lips against mine, makes me unravel in the best way.
I kiss her like she’s a prayer that’s been answered, and I need to memorize every inch of her just in case I lose her again.
I kneel before her on the bed, careful not to be too demanding. She’s still weak, and as much as I want to claim her as mine again, I can’t. Not yet.
However, the little noises she’s letting out are making it so damn hard. Her body melts into my hands as they slide down her hip, tracing over her like I need to feel her to believe she’s really here with me.
The weeks without her were fucking torture, and I never want to live it again.
“Jase, please, I need you,” she begs, and as much as I want to give in to her, I know we can’t. This can’t be the way we solve our problems. We had our first fight, and it may have been the one to nearly end us, but I won’t use sex as a coping mechanism to make it all right.
“Moonshine, we can’t,” I say, but her skin buzzes under my touch. Heat spreads through my cock as I ease her back onto the bed, pressing kisses down her throat, over her collarbone, finally lingering on her lips.
There’s no rush. Just a slow, aching devotion to the woman I love and want to spend the rest of my life with.
My mouth moves lower, coaxing shivers from her skin, as our fingers entwine, anchoring her to me. Every touch conveys what I’ve wanted to say for weeks but couldn’t.
As her hands gently grip my face, she whispers against my lips. “I love you,” she says, her voice raw with emotion. “I love you so fucking much Jase I didn’t even know what I was feeling until I didn’t have you anymore.”
“You’ve always had me.”
“No, don’t interrupt me, please. I need to get this off my chest. It’s so long overdue, and honestly, I have no idea what kept me from saying it to you, but I’ve loved you for months.
I’ve loved you from the beginning, and I’ll love you till the end.
I don’t just want the good, Jase. I want it all.
The good times we’ll spend with our baby, the bad times we’ve dealt with in our past, all of you. ”
I reach into the pocket of my jeans, pulling out the small box I’ve been carrying with me since the day I moved her into my house.
Bringing it between us, I open the small box revealing a cushion-cut diamond centered on a gold band decorated with small glittering diamonds all around.
She lets out a gasp, the sound bringing me so much joy.
I strive to take her breath away, a rare phenomenon, and the fact I get to do it makes my heart swell.
“I’ve carried the ring for months, and have had it in the pocket of my jeans for two weeks since the night of the baby shower.
I was planning…” My voice was thick and choked with emotion, tears welling in my eyes.
I was planning to ask her to marry me the night everything fell apart, and this ring has been burning a hole in my pocket since, a mockery of what we almost became—strangers.
“All of me belongs to you, Moonshine. It has since the very first day you were mine.” This is it.
This right here is my one chance to make her see how much I love her.
“Marry me, Monroe,” I say, with my forehead pressed to hers.
I brush her jaw with my thumb, kissing her where my fingers touch.
“Let me spend the rest of my life proving to you how much I love you. You’ll never have to question it again.
Be my wife, Moonshine. Build this life with me, I beg you, make me whole. ”
Tears fill her eyes, spilling hot down her cheeks. “Jase,” she reaches for my face. “Yes,” she murmurs, “I’ll marry you.”
I crush my lips against hers, standing and pulling her over to straddle me as I sit on the bed. I bury my face in her neck, my whole body shaking with relief.
“God, Monroe. You have no idea how much I love you.”
“I think I do,” she mutters through sobs.