Twenty-Seven Teagan
Twenty-Seven
Teagan
I should be nervous as I drive to my parents’ home for Sunday dinner, but surprisingly I’m not. Could it be because Dominic has turned my world topsy-turvy? My mind is completely scattered. The last couple of nights, he’s refused to let me sleep away from him. Not that much sleep is happening. He’s been insatiable and vice versa. I’ve always had a high sex drive, but Dominic doesn’t just match it; he exceeds it.
It shows me how powerless I am to the intimacy we share, but that’s not all. I accompanied him to a Fletcher Cares event where he gave out clothes and sneakers to underprivileged youth. I can see how important it is to him to help others, and I was touched. Maybe I misjudged him. He can’t be this amazing and still be the jerk who hung me out to dry with the media.
We’re supposed to be competitors who like to fuck, but our relationship has become much more than that. I’m scared at how much he’s come to mean to me in such a short time. It was the same way all those years ago. I was enthralled by him. Unfortunately, nothing has changed.
I can’t fall victim to his charm again. Can I?
Dammit. It’s too late. I already have.
I daydream about him all the time. When we’re not together I want to be with him or call him just to hear his voice. But our relationship is on a road to nowhere. He hasn’t stopped being a world-renowned tennis player, beloved by all. I’m a pariah, a black sheep in the industry. And that’s fine. I don’t need validation from the tennis community anymore, but I’ve put myself back in the line of fire with this tournament and by getting involved with Dominic again. This is bound to blow up in my face. What then?
I can’t go running back to my parents; that’s for sure. My father made that very clear. Not that I want to. I relish my independence too much and don’t want to go back to the days where Daddy ruled the roost. I wish Mama would wise up, but he’s her husband and I gave up long ago trying to get her to change. If she wants to be under his thumb, so be it. I don’t have to listen to what he says. I tell myself that over and over and all the way up the doorstep.
I lose my nerve a bit when my father answers the door. “Hey, Daddy.” I smile politely.
This time I made sure to come in a dress, a vibrant magenta sheath with a square neck and cap sleeve.
“You look lovely, Teagan.” I’m surprised at his words because my father usually doesn’t compliment me about anything I do. It’s always been hard to please him, except when I played tennis. It was the only time I felt he was remotely proud of me. “Come with me to the study.”
“What about Mama? I’d like to say hello.”
“You can do so after we talk.” My father grasps my elbow, leading me toward his study. Once inside, he shuts the door.
“Is something wrong?”
“Did you heed my advice about Fletcher?”
I’m not about to tell him I’ve done the exact opposite or that we’ve been fucking like rabbits. “Of course.”
He eyes me suspiciously. “Why don’t I believe you? That boy has always had a way of turning your head. I remember how you were with him, chasing after him like a lovesick schoolgirl.”
His words cut deep, but I suppose that’s his intention. “What’s the point of this conversation, Daddy? I heard what you said before.”
“Did you? Because Fletcher is no good,” Daddy says. “He’s not the man for you. He’s a great tennis player. And had it worked out between you two, then you would have been an unstoppable force, but you’re in different places in your lives. You don’t mesh.”
“I’m well aware of it.” I know Dominic is out of my league. He could have any woman he wants, but he doesn’t want them. He wants me, every night .
“Are you? Because Jackson Bowens told me he saw you two at the roller-skating rink a few days ago.”
“Are you having me followed?” How else would he know about our daytime date? Why is my father so adamant Dominic and I not spend time together?
His eyes narrow. “You admit you’re still seeing him after I told you not to?”
“I’m a grown woman, Daddy.”
“Don’t you sass me, young lady.” His voice rises several decibels and he points his finger at me. “I won’t have it!”
Suddenly Mama rushes into the room. “What’s going on, Russ? Why are you shouting at Teagan?”
“Stay out of this, Olympia! It’s between me and Teagan.”
“She’s my daughter too,” my mom replies, “and you seem to forget that.” Her outburst shocks both me and Daddy into silence. “I won’t have you yelling at her.”
“It’s okay, Mama.” I don’t want any trouble for her later by sticking up for me. My father can be vindictive. He might take away her cell phone or car keys to prevent her from contacting me.
“No, it’s not! It’s your life,” she says to me, then turns to my father. “If Teagan wants to see Dominic again, what’s the harm? I’ve always thought he was the love of her life.”
Mama’s use of the word love hits me square in the stomach.
Love.
Is it possible that’s the ache I’ve had for so long? That somehow Dominic has filled that space? It can’t be. I can’t be in love with him still . But hearing the word sends me reeling. These feelings can’t be put in a box again not to be opened for another twelve years. I need to think about this. Assess it.
“I have to go,” I say.
“But you just got here. Where are you going?” my father asks. “To see Fletcher?”
“And if I were?” I taunt, turning back to glare at him. “It’s not the end of the world. He’ll leave in a few weeks and go back on tour. Nothing will change.”
Except me.
I’ll be forever changed because once again I’ll have lost him. I rush toward the door, but all I hear as I leave are my father’s last words.
“Don’t believe anything he says. He’s a liar.”
I want to know what he means. Or is he just scared Dominic will hurt me and leave like he did last time? I wish I knew. I don’t have a crystal ball any more than he does.
But I fear I’m headed for a fall.
* * *
The Gems’ weekly FaceTime call comes just as I’m leaving the house. I pull over to join in, even though I thought I’d be missing this one due to dinner. I’m dying to unload and hear some good news about what’s going on in their worlds since I can’t seem to figure out my own.
“Gems, I’m so relieved to see you,” I say as soon as I see their beautiful faces.
“It’s good to see you too, girlfriend,” Lyric replies. “How’s life in Arizona? You been getting up to any mischief with a certain you-know-who?”
“I’m dick-whipped,” I announce unceremoniously.
“Whew, chile.” Asia fans herself. “You act like this news is surprising. We all saw this coming.”
Meanwhile, Egypt is having a coughing fit. “You have to warn a sista when you’re going to talk dirty. I wasn’t ready and was sipping on a new Long Island tea I debuted last night at Flame.”
“I know it’s been years,” Wynter replies, “but Dominic set you afire back in the day. I can only imagine with age and time, he’s matured like a fine wine. I know Riley sure did.” She snaps her fingers.
“Ugh,” Shay snorts. “Please remember you are talking about my brother. Some things have to remain a mystery.” She places her hands over her ears and several of us burst out laughing.
“Sorry, Shay,” Wynter apologizes, and red stains her cheeks. “I was just keeping it real.”
“And sometimes real can go so wrong.” Asia laughs.
“Hey, hey, I’ve got a serious problem here. Besides the sex, I think I have feelings for Dominic. Strong feelings I thought were dead and buried six feet under. Well, surprise, surprise. They are still there—alive and kicking.”
“Maybe his coming back to your life now is a good thing?” Lyric replies. “It’ll help you figure out once and for all if he’s the one.”
“He’s absolutely not the one,” I respond. “How could he be if he could abandon me during my time of need that easily?”
I keep telling myself what Mama said can’t be true, so I fall back on my old argument for why we can’t be together.
“Did you talk to him about the past like we suggested?” Shay inquired.
I remain mum. No, I didn’t talk to him. I’ve been too busy having the best sex of my life to want to ruin it with our differences.
“I see.” Shay rubs her jaw. “So that would be a no.”
“Don’t judge me,” I respond. “It’s not as simple as having a conversation.”
Egypt’s brow furrows.
“Shay is just calling a spade a spade. You’re enjoying getting your swerve, but Teagan, the jig is going to be up soon. Dominic is going back on tour and you won’t have resolved anything if you’re not honest with yourselves.”
“Egypt has a point,” Wynter adds. “You can’t bury your head in the sand.”
“Maybe I’m happy with the status quo.”
“Really, Teagan?” Lyric asks.
I’m blowing smoke up their asses. “I’m sorry,” I reply. “I’m scared. I don’t know if I can go there again to that painful time of my life. I’ve moved beyond it.”
“Have you?” Shay asks. “Or are you still stuck in the past? If you can’t talk to Dominic, talk to a therapist. They’ve done wonders for me and my mom.”
“How is your mother doing?” I inquire. Mrs. Davis has battled with her mental health over the years.
“Quite well,” Shay said. “She’s happy and healthy and seeing her therapist as often as she needs. We’ve even had some sessions together—me, her and Riley—to make peace with the past. She had no control over her condition, and I can’t be angry about that. I’ve also been talking to Colin about the possibility of children one day.”
“Are you guys getting hitched?” Asia inquires.
Shay chuckles. “Not yet. We’re taking our time, but all my cards are on the table, and he knows how much I want a family one day. We’ve talked about my miscarriages, and he’s open to IVF, surrogacy and even adoption.”
“That’s wonderful, Shay,” I say. “I know how much it means to you to be a mom someday. And since we’re talking babies, how are you feeling, Wynter? This convo can’t all be about me and my messed-up love life.”
“Baby and I are doing great,” Wynter responds, rubbing her belly. “I’m out of the first trimester, so we’re breathing a sigh of relief. I’m having bouts of morning sickness, but getting through it. Meanwhile, I’ve solidified all of Egypt and Garrett’s wedding plans, so Operation Forrester Wedding is T-minus-sixty days away.”
“Can’t wait!” Egypt gives a fist pump at the screen. “I can’t wait to make Garrett mine.”
“He’s been yours since he woke up from that coma and couldn’t remember anyone but you,” I reply.
“Yes, ma’am.” She snaps her fingers. “Just like Dominic has been yours since day one, boo.”
“And you Gems have been with me since the start, which is why I want you to join me to celebrate my Real Estate Broker of the Year award.”
“Again?” Asia asks. “Damn, girl, how many of these do you have?”
“As many as can line the shelf in my office,” I respond swiftly. “So, can you make it? It’s two weeks from Saturday.”
“Of course, we’ll be there,” Wynter and Shay reply simultaneously.
“From here on out, I’m going to put this date on my calendar every year.” Asia laughs. “But count me in.”
“Me too,” Lyric says. “I wouldn’t miss it. Will Dominic be there?”
I shrug. “No. I haven’t told him yet.”
“I wouldn’t mind seeing dark chocolate again,” Egypt says. “Well, I gotta run, ladies, there’s an emergency in the kitchen. A chef’s job is never done.” She signs off and soon so do the other Gems with plans to see each other at my award ceremony.
I’m ecstatic they are coming, but Lyric had a good point that I haven’t mentioned the award ceremony to Dominic. He knows what I do for a living, but I suppose real estate has been something just for me that I built after I lost tennis. Could he share it with me? Could Dominic play a bigger role in my life? Do I want him to?
My feelings are mixed up with past hurts. The only way I can make sense of it all is to share them, but I’m afraid of destroying the closeness and intimacy we’ve regained. I didn’t know I needed physical touch until Dominic came back into my life. Now that I have it, I’m afraid of what happens when he’s gone.