Chapter 14
Andilyn
“Raiden?” I question in concern, curious to know what’s brought him back.
“Hey, Andi,” he greets me sheepishly, doing his best to stifle a yawn. “I hate to ask this of you, but Mr. Taylor called, and he’s wondering if you’d be willing to come over? Hudson is having a rough night, and he can’t get him settled.”
“Um,” I start, at a loss for what to say. I’m not convinced I’ll be much help, but I still agree to try. “Sure. Let me grab a jacket.”
We’re on the road in no time, but it’s a decent drive to reach the town they live in.
It’s well past midnight when we arrive, and by that point, I’m convinced our trip will have been for nothing.
But as soon as we exit the truck, I can hear Hudson’s screams. Panicked, I take off running, completely ignoring Raiden as he yells for me to wait.
Forgoing a knock, I shove the door open and rapidly scan the room.
Mr. Taylor rounds the corner, his bloodshot eyes finding mine instantly.
He points, the only thing he seems capable of doing, gesturing down the hallway.
My throat grows tight the closer I get; Hudson’s broken cries are so guttural I have to stop and place a hand against the wall to steady myself before continuing any farther.
His clothes and toys litter the floor of his bedroom, as if he ripped them from their respective storage spaces in a fit of rage.
He’s lying in the corner, flat on his back with his feet pressed against the wall.
Using every ounce of strength his tiny body possesses, he kicks and kicks, causing cracks to form in the drywall.
I grit my teeth, forcing back the angry tears stinging my eyes.
“Hudson?” I say his name, slowing my approach. He tilts his head back, his distraught face seeking mine. “Hey, buddy.”
For a moment, he just stares at me, like he’s trying to decide if I’m real and not a figment of his imagination.
I’ve had that same reaction several times since we escaped.
When I kneel beside him, he scrambles to pull himself upright, then launches forward, the force of our collision nearly knocking me over.
I swallow thickly and wrap my arms around him.
He’s shaking uncontrollably, and I wish more than anything I could erase the images waging a war inside his mind.
But I can’t, so I tighten my hold and rock us back and forth.
I have no idea how long we sit there, but Hudson eventually succumbs to sleep.
His stuttered breaths ghost across my cheek as I stroke his back, admiring his dinosaur pajamas.
Gazing around the room, I note the obvious theme, my heart twinging when I think of all the pieces his mother hand-picked just for him.
Movement at the door catches my attention, and I glance up to find Raiden staring at the two of us.
Keeping his steps light, he walks over, extending his hand to help me off the floor.
Placing Hudson in the bed, I carefully extract myself from his vice-like hold.
He’s so exhausted he barely stirs. I pull his covers up and tuck him in, brushing my fingers through his curls before dropping a kiss to his forehead.
He looks so peaceful; you’d have no idea how distressed he was when we first arrived.
The only evidence of his meltdown is found in the disarray of his bedroom.
I leave the lamp on and crack his door, then follow Raiden to the living room.
Mr. Taylor is seated on the couch, his head hung in defeat.
“Thank you,” he whispers, his gaze pinned to the floor. “I didn’t know what to do, and there’s no one else I could call. LeAnna and I don’t have any family, at least none we speak to. I have no idea what I’m doing or how to help him.”
“It’s no big deal,” Raiden responds. “I gave you my number for a reason.”
“Mr. Taylor...” Before I can finish what I was going to say, he cuts me off.
“Seth,” he insists, waving off the formality.
“Seth,” I correct. “Has Hudson been acting this way since you brought him home?” I cringe, not wanting him to think I’m questioning his parenting. I’m the last person he needs to fear passing judgment.
“For the most part, but tonight was especially bad. Anything I do to try and help only seems to make it worse, so as difficult as it is to hear him scream, I usually step away and let him cry it out. I’ve never been the best at parenting; that was LeAnna’s department, but I’m useless to him right now.
He needs something I can’t give him, and I don’t know how to remedy that. ”
“I’m sorry if this is insensitive, but is Hudson’s lack of speech a recent development?” I ask gently, curious if he was ever able to communicate his needs.
“It’s definitely regressed, but even before he was taken, it wasn’t the greatest. He knew basic words, but when LeAnna spoke with his doctor about it, he insisted it wasn’t anything to be concerned about just yet.
I suppose he’d have a different opinion now,” he huffs sardonically, pressing his fingers to his temples.
“Were you able to find a child psychologist?” Raiden asks politely.
“Not yet. I know I should’ve made it my first priority, but I think a part of me hoped things would go back to normal once Hudson was home. Wishful thinking, I guess.”
I’d never say it, knowing he’s got enough on his plate as it stands, but it doesn’t matter how many toys or distractions Hudson has; there’s a vital part of his normal that’s missing, and nothing can deflect from that.
Looking around, it’s impossible to miss the picture frames lying flat on the mantel.
I can’t help but wonder if that’s for Seth’s benefit, or his son’s.
They might be grieving the same person, but their journeys are not the same.
“I hate to even ask this,” he starts, his knee bouncing nervously.
“But is there any way you could stay tonight? I’m scared he’s going to wake up, and if I’m being honest, I haven’t slept for more than a few hours at a time.
I’m no good to him like this.” I look to Raiden, knowing it’s not solely up to me.
“I can bring Andi home tomorrow,” Seth offers.
“No, it’s okay; I can make it work. As long as you’re good with me crashing on your couch?” Raiden questions.
“Of course. I’ll get you some blankets.”
Once we’re alone, Raiden turns to me and asks, “Are you good with this?”
“I’m fine, but what about you? I don’t want to put you out any more than I already have.
” He cocks his head to the side, a frown forming as he contemplates the way I worded my response.
Shit. Now’s not the time to have the conversation about his apartment that he doesn’t want me to know is his for some reason.
“Is there something I’ve said or done that’s given you that impression?” Raiden faces me fully, bending slightly so we’re at eye level.
“No, not at all. This is just a lot to have thrown at you when you didn’t ask for it. I’m a lot,” I backtrack, hoping to set his mind at ease. Just as he opens his mouth to respond, Seth reappears with the bedding he went to fetch.
“This should work, but if you need more, we have some extra pillows in the hallway closet.” He sets the stack of blankets on the end of the couch, his sluggish gait a clear indicator of how exhausted he is.
“I’ll leave you to it. If anything happens, I’m the last door on the right.
” Seth excuses himself, stopping by the kitchen to grab a bottle of alcohol.
I glance at Raiden, but neither of us comments on his choice of coping mechanisms.
“I think it’d be best if I slept in Hudson’s room,” I state, knowing there’s a good chance he won’t sleep through the night. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Whoa, not so fast.” Raiden halts my escape by placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. “First of all, you’re not a lot. I’m grateful that our paths crossed, and I’m certainly a better man for having known you. If I’ve made any concessions, they were minuscule. And that’s a big if. Okay?”
I nod, unsure of what to say. My entire life I’ve felt like an inconvenience to someone, at some point.
First it was my parents, and if the people responsible for making you can’t be bothered to care, you start to lose hope that anyone else is going to.
And then Tobias came along, filling my head with notions that never existed.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that no one can fix the pre-existing damage caused by someone else.
You can try to let them, but you’ll only be disappointed when they inevitably fall short.
At this point, my expectations are so low they’re lying amongst the dirt.
So as much as I want to trust Raiden’s assessment, it’s difficult to do so when I know he’s giving up his home, which is decidedly not a little concession.
“Get some sleep, okay?” He smiles, freeing me from the intensity of our conversation, and goes about making up the couch.
I flee to Hudson’s room, my brain too exhausted to attempt overanalyzing our interaction.
Carefully, I peel the covers back and slide in next to Hudson, trying my hardest to keep my movements to a minimum so I don’t disturb him.
Almost instantly, he turns and snuggles against my side.
There’s a reason I’ve tried my best not to think about him too much.
Our time together was short, but the seconds and minutes that made up those four days were painfully long.
I can’t deny the bond we formed, but I convinced myself it was born out of necessity.
A connection that would quickly fade once we went our separate ways.
Yet here I am, the line dividing us so blurry it’s nonexistent.