Chapter 26
Andilyn
Ihave no memory of how we made it home. Since hearing of Hudson’s fate, it’s all been a blur.
More than anything, I want a redo of this entire fucking day.
I should’ve been more adamant when speaking with Seth, but fear of pushing him away kept me from saying anything he might take offense to, despite knowing his mental state was in a steady decline.
I didn’t lie when I told Chief O’Connor that I never thought he’d resort to such a violent solution, but it’s impossible not to question whether there were signs I missed or purposely ignored to avoid the dark truth of how far gone Seth truly was.
“Angel.” Briggs’ voice, steady but tired, graciously interrupts the constant spiraling of my thoughts.
“Let’s get some sleep.” His hand rests against my lower back, guiding me towards the closet.
He steps behind me, easing my coat off before unzipping the dress I was in awe of just a few hours earlier.
I stare at our joint reflections in the mirror as it slides to the floor and pools around my feet.
Another eerily similar comparison to the one Veritas cut from my body.
Maybe I’m doomed to never own anything that makes me feel good about myself, not without it being tarnished with a painful memory to accompany it.
I’m practically naked, a black bra and panty set the only thing covering me, but Briggs’ gaze never strays past analytical.
I have no idea what he’s gone through in the past to make him react so viscerally to what happened today.
It goes beyond the natural response a person would have.
Deeper. And somehow, despite his own demons coming home to roost, he was still able to prioritize my safety in the heat of the moment.
This beautiful, obsessive man is haunted, and there’s nothing more I want to do at the very second than to ease his worries.
So even though it’s barely past noon, I’ll let him change me into something more comfortable and lie with him as long as he needs me to.
Briggs slides in beside me and tucks a blanket around us, sighing contentedly when I snuggle against his side.
The crook of his arm might be the safest place I’ve felt in a long time.
I wish I could give him more than this, more of myself, but I genuinely believe there isn’t anything left to give.
I don’t doubt his intentions; I know he’s a good man, but Tobias broke something inside of me that feels irreparable at this point, despite the many times I’ve insisted otherwise.
I might not be catatonic and locked inside of my own head, but I’m constantly doubting my trust and intuition.
The damage he’s done to my discernment doesn’t magically disappear now that he’s dead.
“I’ll steal him for you,” Briggs mumbles, his body lax as consciousness begins to fade away.
“Steal who?” I question, my own thoughts being tugged on by the seductive pull of sleep.
“Hudson,” he states matter-of-factly, like it should be obvious who he’s referring to.
“I’ll find him, no matter where they decide to cart him off to, and I’ll bring him back to you.
We’ll flee the fucking country if we have to.
Start our own family—just you, me, Huds, and that baby in your belly.
” He shifts us both to our sides, curling his hand around my stomach.
Tears prick my eyes, the sweetness of his words enticing my sensibilities to indulge in what he’s offering, regardless of how unrealistic it is.
“I gotta admit though, my plan is definitely self-serving. If I can smuggle you away, I won’t have to compete with those other assholes for your attention.
” A disbelieving laugh tumbles out of me unbidden.
“You think I’m bullshittin’?” Briggs perks up, tilting me backward so I can get a clear view of the seriousness plastered across his face. “We’re edging towards something dangerous, Angel. Surely you can see that. I’m not the only one who looks at you the way I do.”
“What way is that?” I whisper, knowing I shouldn’t ask but desperate to hear the answer.
“Don’t be coy, Angel. You see the way each of us watches you, like we’ve been stumbling through the dark for ages, and suddenly…
there you are. The brightest fucking light, casting out the shadows that are constantly chasing us.
I might not be oblivious to it, but that doesn’t mean I’m okay with it either.
As far as I’m concerned, their feelings are irrelevant because I have no intention of giving up on the idea of us.
You might not see it yet, how great we can be, but I’m confident you’ll get there. ”
I have to bite my bottom lip to keep it from trembling, the sting grounding me and clearing the haze of wishful thinking from my muddled mind.
I wish we could have what he’s describing, but this image he’s concocting is nothing short of a fairytale.
I say nothing to dissuade his fantasy, a part of me clinging to the hope that Briggs seems to have an abundance of, needing one of us to believe we’re destined for more than misery.
Instead, I close my eyes, allowing this alternate life he’s dreamt up to lull me to sleep.
The low murmuring of voices drags me from my slumber, the last remnants of sunlight casting a warm glow around the room.
Briggs is still nestled against my back with his arm slung protectively across my front.
I desperately need the bathroom, so I try my hardest to wiggle away without waking him.
As if zeroed in on every minute movement I make, Briggs stirs, yawning dramatically as he pulls himself upright.
“What time is it and why the fuck are we awake?” His question seems rhetorical, but I respond anyway.
“I’d guess it’s dinnertime, and I need to pee.
” I make quick work of fleeing to the bathroom, locking myself inside so I can relieve my bladder.
The added pressure of a growing baby definitely doesn’t help matters.
By the time I’ve rejoined Briggs, he’s waiting by the door, looking marginally more alert than he did just a few moments ago.
“Figured you’d want this,” he states, handing me an oversized sweatshirt.
“Thanks,” I mutter, quickly covering myself before we join the others.
I have no idea what they’ve been up to. I was too detached when we first got back to be aware of anything really.
A few hours of sleep must have done me some good because all I want is to come together and brainstorm a way to get Hudson back.
I can’t fathom leaving him to be another casualty of the system that far too often fails those it was designed to protect.
“After you.” Briggs holds the door open, patiently waiting for me to exit first. The voices that woke me grow louder as we enter the main living area.
Raiden is the first to notice our arrival, striding across the room to reach me.
His hand cups the back of my head as he pulls me against his chest, the heavy exhale he releases fluttering my hair.
“Sleep okay?”
“Not too bad,” I answer, my stomach deciding it’s the perfect time to voice its displeasure at being denied sustenance for several hours too long.
“Food. Now,” Briggs orders, his bossiness something I’ve grown to anticipate.
“If you can hold off for just a bit longer, Royce and Rita should be here any minute with dinner,” Colsen interjects, his gaze lingering, searching for any sign that my carefully reconstructed heart isn’t about to come unglued again.
His concern is warranted, because truth be told, it feels like it could shatter at any moment.
“Snack on this in the meantime,” Briggs demands, handing me a yogurt that proudly boasts its protein content across the front.
“Now that things have somewhat settled, would one of you like to explain how you were at the courthouse when everything went to shit, if you were both supposed to be at work on opposite sides of town?” I question, my gaze challenging as I wait for Dayton and Colsen to string together something that’s remotely believable.
“If this is going to turn into a lecture, maybe it’s best you believe that we just so happened to be driving by. Coincidentally. At the same time,” Dayton jokes, his exaggerated look of innocence doing nothing to help his credibility.
“Sure,” I snort, licking the last bit of yogurt off my spoon.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to call him out for going against my wishes and showing up anyway when there’s a knock at the door.
Colsen steps forward, pulling it open to greet his boss, his arms laden with bags of takeout.
Rita slips inside, her teary eyes zeroed in on me before rushing forward and wrapping her arms around me.
It takes me by surprise, the way she so easily shows affection and concern for someone she barely knows, but I quickly recover, returning her hug just as fiercely.
“I’m so sorry, dear,” she whispers, her voice drenched in sorrow.
Rita’s sincerity makes my throat tighten, emotions clogging my airway and forcing me to breathe through the panic that’s desperately trying to breach the surface of my tenuously constructed facade.
Support systems are a foreign concept to me, so to have so many people in my corner is a staggering realization to wrap my mind around.
“Let the girl breathe, Rita,” Roy teases, his sad smile a poor imitation of the jovial one I’m so used to seeing.
“Come here, sweetheart.” He nudges Rita aside, quickly taking her place so he can offer his own form of comfort.
I sink against his warm embrace, wondering if this is what it’s supposed to feel like to have someone fatherly in your life.
In the short time I’ve known Royce DuPont, he’s shown me more compassion and kindness than my parents ever thought to extend to their own flesh and blood.