Chapter 30 #3
“Fuck me,” Raiden groans as the door is thrown open, the heavy wood smacking the back of his head with an audible thud.
“Gross. No, thank you,” Briggs retorts, his lip curling in mock disgust. “Your danish, Angel.” He presents the pastry in dramatic fashion, bending at the waist with his chin tucked in deference.
I take the hand he offers and allow him to pull me to my feet, groaning as the first bite of blueberries fills my mouth.
It’s safe to say my breakfast tastes leans heavily toward the sweet side, and the guys have no problem feeding my addiction.
At this rate, I’m going to gain double the amount of weight that’s considered healthy for a pregnant woman.
“Good god, dude. Get off the fucking floor.” Raiden levels Briggs with an unimpressed glare, grumbling under his breath as he struggles to pull himself up.
“Oh, don’t mind me, just probing my goddamn dome, checking for a dent. Excuse me if I took a second to weigh the possibility of a concussion,” Raiden snarks, palming the back of his skull as he tries valiantly to mask his wince.
“Peace offering?” Briggs teases, his lashes fluttering innocently as he extends a paper bag that’s filled to the brim with other items from the bakery. Raiden accepts the olive branch, begrudgingly, and quickly downs two chocolate muffins.
“Aren’t you curious to hear how the assessment went?” Raiden questions between bites.
“Don’t need to be,” Briggs answers while rummaging through the medicine cabinet so he can retrieve my bottle of prenatals.
He shakes one out and hands it to me, then returns the vitamins to their designated storage spot.
It’s baffling to me how at ease he is with making himself at home in Raiden’s apartment.
I guess it’s been easy to overlook that detail since I’ve practically commandeered the space.
I toss the pill back, grimacing as I attempt to wash away the aftertaste with a glass of orange juice.
“I don’t need a breakdown of what was said to know that Andi spun her magic and had that walking fashion disaster eating out of the palm of her hand.
” Briggs winks at my stunned expression, his dark eyes twinkling with mirth.
“I think you have a problem with giving me more credit than I warrant,” I chastise.
“I was so nervous, I could hardly string together a coherent sentence, so I can assure you, there was nothing charming about my behavior. Honestly, if it weren’t for Raiden stepping in to answer some of her questions, I would’ve been a sputtering mess.
” I glance at the man beside me, a soft smile conveying my thanks, though it’ll never be enough to accurately portray just how grateful I am for everything he’s done to help me.
“Well, consider my affliction chronic, Angel, because I’m convinced you can do no wrong.
” Briggs’ devilish grin makes my stomach flip, his reverence something I’ve grown to appreciate, as I’m convinced he holds very few people in such high regard.
Sometimes, though, I fear he’s putting me on a pedestal I’ll never be able to live up to.
Being on the receiving end of others’ disappointment is a familiar acquaintance of mine, but I think it’ll hurt far more than ever before if they finally realize I’m nothing special.
“Can we go get our boy now?” Briggs huffs impatiently, his finger tapping the counter as he splits his attention between me and the clock hanging above the door.
Our boy.
I refuse to look for a deeper meaning behind his choice of words.
It was just a turn of phrase; he didn’t mean to insinuate anything more.
I can’t allow those traitorous thoughts to take root, because deep down, a piece of me will always feel responsible for what happened to Hudson.
I’ve done nothing to deserve the honor of calling him mine.
It's ludicrous to think I had any sway over Tobias’ actions, but at one point, I did.
I had his confidence, and he had mine. Somewhere along the way, he veered off course, making a permanent detour from the life we had spent countless nights dreaming about.
It’s hard not to take such a drastic shift personally.
Those insidious what-ifs will always look for cracks in my faulty armor, and I’ll forever be plagued by the possibility that I could’ve done something to avoid Hudson being a factor in Tobias’ twisted plan.
So as much as I want to lean into the idea of the guys sticking around and playing a bigger role in our lives, I refuse to burden them with a mountain of trauma.
Eventually, things will go back to normal, and I need to feel sturdy on my own two feet when that day finally comes.
I just have to remember that nothing lasts forever, so it’d be foolish to let my attachment to the four of them grow any deeper than it already has.
But tucked away in a place I refuse to acknowledge, a small voice warns me that we’re so entangled, it’s going to be impossible to separate the strands tying us together.