Chapter 31 #2
“And thank you.” I stop before Briggs, leaning in to give him the same innocent kiss, but he turns his head at the last second, causing the corners of our mouths to touch. Dayton growls behind me, but I laugh it off, knowing we can’t afford for the two of them to cause a scene.
“Seriously,” I start, taking a step back so I’m facing each of them. “Thank you all. This wouldn’t have been possible without every one of you. I’ll never be able to repay the kindness you’ve shown me, but I’ll certainly try.”
“You don’t owe us a damn thing,” Raiden voices gruffly.
“Language,” Briggs scolds, slapping our resident detective across the chest with the back of his hand. He glares while rubbing the ache away, but there’s no retaliatory strike, so I’d consider that an improvement.
“Um, hello?” Dayton gripes. I glance in his direction, widening my eyes in mock confusion. “Where the hell is my kiss?” He swirls his finger at his cheek expectantly.
“I guess you don’t get one,” I tease impishly, but I should’ve known better.
“That’s okay,” Dayton concedes, then causes my heart to plummet when he adds, “I got one the other night, remember? I can wait my turn again.” His smug grin makes my eye twitch.
I can feel three distinct gazes boring into me, so I turn on my heel and head for the playground.
It’s thankfully empty, so I take my time walking to each piece of equipment, allowing Hudson to explore as much as he’d like.
He’s nearly worked up the courage to test out the sandbox when Briggs swoops in and snags him off his feet.
Hudson squeals, but I can’t decipher if it’s rooted in fear or something else.
“What the hell, Briggs?” I question heatedly.
“Absolutely not.” He shivers in disgust. “That thing is practically a gigantic litter box for stray cats.” My nose scrunches at the imagery.
“If Huddy wants to play in some sand, we’ll set one up at the firehouse with a lid to keep it nice and clean.
” I smile at Briggs’ thoughtfulness, watching in awe as he expertly coaxes Hudson to climb the jungle gym.
I couldn’t tell you how long I watch the two of them repeatedly go down the slide together, but eventually, Hudson begins to smile, grabbing Briggs by the hand and urging him up the steps so they can repeat the process.
“So,” Colsen starts, coming to a stop beside me.
“Nope.” I shake my head, knowing exactly where he’s going with his seemingly innocent small talk. “I’m not discussing it right now. If ever. Today is meant for celebrating, so that’s exactly what we’re going to do.”
“Fair enough,” he agrees, hands tucked in his pockets as he watches Briggs and Hudson.
At a glance, he appears nonplussed by my refusal to engage in a conversation regarding our evolving relationships, but the occasional tick of his jaw leads me to believe he isn’t as unbothered as he’s trying to make it seem.
The last thing I want is to cause a rift between friends who’ve known each other as long as they have.
Their loyalty should lie with one another, not me.
“I’m so proud of you, minha luz,” Raiden whispers, flanking my other side.
“You’re far more capable than you give yourself credit for, and I hope today has given you a glimpse of how true that is.
” I can’t look at him or I’ll start crying and might never stop, so I take his hand instead, squeezing tightly so he knows I heard him.
That I’m listening and trying my hardest to peel back the layers of self-doubt Tobias made sure to leave me with.
“Oh, hell no,” Dayton grumbles, stomping past us.
My eyes quickly track his direction of travel, finding Briggs and Hudson testing out the swingset.
“Like hell is that asshole going to become the favorite.” I laugh, watching as two grown men start to shove one another, vying to be the one who gets to push Hudson on the swing he’s claimed.
Raiden’s fingers tighten around mine, the two of us sharing a look that encompasses a gamut of emotions.
Today has been perfect, and I intend to savor every second of it, not just that singular moment Doreen insisted I lock away for safekeeping.
I reach for Colsen’s hand, needing his touch as much as I need Raiden’s, stealing a few seconds to be selfish and daydream about a scenario that could never exist in the real world.
We stay at the park a little while longer, laughing at the antics of Briggs and Dayton, who seem to have come to a temporary truce while in the presence of Hudson.
They spend the vast majority of the afternoon trying to pry a laugh out of the tiny toddler, to no avail.
But the few smiles he gives us make it feel like we’ve won the lottery.
We end the day at an ice cream parlor, happy to give Hudson as many scoops as he wants.
Later that evening, when Colsen lifts his sleeping body from the car seat, his face and fingers still sticky, I hope we’re granted the opportunity to make a million more memories.
And for the first time, I admit to myself that I want our future to include the guys as well.
I’m just not sure it’s possible when my feelings toward each of them grow exponentially with every new facet I learn about them.
I could never choose, so it’s best to leave that side of us unexplored.
I doubt we could cross a line that damning and simply revert to being friends.