Chapter 44 #2
“Bullshit,” Col hisses. “It’s our job to protect you.
And him risking you being caught in such a vulnerable position is the furthest thing from that.
” His anger is understandable, but I think he’s mostly struggling with seeing Dayton and me being intimate with one another.
He’s barely agreed to giving this arrangement a chance, but his reaction makes me question if he’s actually capable of seeing it through.
“That’s enough,” Raiden scolds, glaring at Col with contempt. “What do you know so far?” He turns his attention to Mia.
“They still haven’t released anything, including these, but both Bel and I agree that it’s only a matter of time.
He’s left Deputy Director Denvers an urgent message to call him immediately.
We need a paper trail and to prove that this information was gathered at the behest of Cantmeir, which he’s working on doing.
Once we’ve secured probable cause, Denvers can issue an arrest warrant,” Mia explains.
“This is revenge porn, Raiden. It carries an entirely new set of charges that goes beyond bribery and coercion.” He nods, his gaze faraway, as if his mind is cycling through the facts of what they know.
“Oh, holy shit,” I whisper, slumping against the arm of the couch as my face turns ashen.
“If this gets out, what will that mean for Hudson? I have my next check-in with Doreen in just over a week.” The idea of losing guardianship because of these cowards makes my stomach twist painfully.
Before I know it, I’m sprinting towards the bathroom, barely making it in time to get the toilet seat up before I’m vomiting up my breakfast. Gentle hands gather my hair so it’s not in the way, and then I’m handed a damp washcloth to clean myself up.
I turn to find Col’s concerned green eyes examining every inch of me as I hastily flush the toilet.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have freaked out like that,” he voices quietly, squatting down so we’re eye-to-eye. “It just makes me sick to think of you getting hurt, and even more so when your safety is put at risk because of our complacency.”
“I’m a big girl, Col. I’m allowed to make my own decisions, and what happened on the rooftop was entirely because of me.
I don’t want to contort myself to fit into someone else’s box ever again.
I just want to live the life that I want, and if it happens to involve loving four men, I fail to see how that’s anyone’s business,” I state sincerely.
“I’m sorry you had to see those photos. I know this isn’t easy for you, and the fact you’re even willing to try means the world to me. ”
“I’d do anything for you, Sunshine,” Col rasps, brushing my hair over my shoulder.
“I’m sorry if I’ve made you think otherwise, and although this adjustment hasn’t come as easily to me as it has to the other guys, that’s only because of my past. I love every inch of you, including the parts that are exclusively reserved for those three assholes. ” He smiles lovingly.
“I love you, too. So fucking much, Col.” I take the hand he offers me and haul myself off the floor.
It takes a lot more effort than I’d like to admit, but Col grins indulgently at the grunting sounds I make.
Rolling my eyes, I move to the sink and gargle some mouthwash, then splash my face with water in hopes of it helping me clear my head.
Instead of leading me back to the living room where the others are still gathered and hashing out a plan of action, Col steers me towards Briggs’ bedroom.
I carefully push the door open, smiling when I find the two of them playing with a train set on the floor.
“I figured you could use some rest as well,” Col admits, pressing a kiss to my temple. “But I promise to relay any information we discuss.” I nod in acknowledgment, stepping inside and taking a seat on the rug that’s covering the majority of Briggs’ floorspace.
Col closes the door behind him, blanketing us in silence, aside from the occasional choo-choo from Hudson.
His sweet little voice fills me with so much warmth.
The progress he’s made truly astounds me, and I’m so grateful for his team at Covey.
I spend several minutes playing with Hudson, but Briggs is never far from my periphery.
He’s completely shut down, his eyes vacant and thoughts unreadable.
It’s obvious the events that took place today have triggered something from his past. I don’t pry, though, knowing how difficult it can be when painful memories resurface.
The added pressure of explaining your thoughts to someone when they’re so turbulent is a complication he doesn’t need.
My support isn’t conditional on him divulging his darkest secrets.
Gathering Hudson in my arms, I place him on the king-sized bed and grab the remote for Briggs’ television.
I scroll through several options before settling on Bedtime Stories.
It auto-started one day after we finished a different movie, and Hudson was absolutely tickled by it.
I think we could all use some toddler giggles right about now.
Once the movie has started and Hudson is occupied by the opening credits, I kneel before Briggs and frame his face with my hands.
It takes him several seconds to register that I’m even there, and my heart thumps painfully, knowing there’s a war that’s being waged inside of his mind.
“Come with me,” I urge, helping him to his feet as best I can.
He doesn’t fight me on it, but there’s an emptiness behind his eyes that scares me.
I lead him to the bed and climb in, taking his hand in mine and guiding him towards me.
Cradling his head against my chest, I run my fingers through his dark strands of hair, hoping the soothing, repetitive motion will somehow ease the pain that’s overtaken him.
Briggs shudders, the feel of his tears dampening my skin a moment later.
I bite my lip to keep my own emotions from spilling out.
“I love you, Briggs. Always. Nothing could ever change that,” I promise him, the ache in my chest growing tenfold from how tightly he’s holding onto me, as if he’s afraid I’m going to disappear right before his eyes.
He presses a kiss over my heart, his stuttered breaths finally evening out as his eyes begin to close.
I lay there for the entirety of the movie, with Hudson on the opposite side of me and Briggs fast asleep on my chest. Hudson’s giggles definitely help when it comes to lessening the emotional strain, but I hate that Briggs is constantly battling this awful thing that happened to him when I’m so clueless about it.
I never know if my reassurances are enough, or if I’m saying the wrong thing entirely.
As Hudson succumbs to sleep as well, the door creaks open, revealing Colsen on the other side.
His smile is brittle, as if he knows how precarious Briggs’ mental state is.
Quietly moving closer, he observes his friend, the worry pinching his expression a mirror image of my own.
“I wish I knew what to do to help him,” I whisper, still lightly stroking Briggs’ back.
“You’re already doing it, Sunshine,” Col insists, giving me a grateful smile. “You’re exactly what he needs right now.” I hum in response, desperately wanting it to be that simple but terrified it’s not.
“I came to let you know that Raiden needed to head back to the precinct, but he thinks we should go on a semi-lockdown,” Col divulges, his grimace matching my own.
“What would that entail?” I question, afraid to know how restrictive Raiden’s idea of semi will be.
“No leaving the firehouse unless it’s absolutely necessary, so basically only your and Hudson’s appointments. One of us will be here at all times, and Mia has decided to stick around until we get this resolved,” Col explains.
“I hate that everyone’s being inconvenienced because of me,” I admit, feeling awful that Mia isn’t extending her trip for the sole purpose of spending more time with her brother, but rather because of Veritas’ bullshit that she never asked to be involved in.
“Absolutely no one is inconvenienced, Sunshine. This is what family does. We’re there for one another through everything, the good and the bad.
” Col lifts my hand and places barely-there kisses on the tips of my fingers.
“Raiden said he’ll stop and grab some pizza on his way home, so how about we make a day of being lazy and watching back-to-back movies?
” he questions, looking hopeful that I’ll agree.
“Sounds like heaven,” Briggs grumbles, not bothering to open his eyes. I smile, happy to hear his voice after he retreated inside himself and went silent for so long.
So that’s exactly what we do. We spend the rest of the afternoon and well into the evening watching movies of all genres.
We laugh and cry and bask in the sound of Hudson’s giggles.
Raiden comes in after the sun has set, looking haggard from the events of the day, but his smile is full of love as our eyes find one another.
He shakes his head at the sight we make, Hudson and I cuddled between Briggs and Col, with Dayton sprawled across the foot of the bed.
We gorge ourselves on pizza and follow it up with ice cream sundaes.
It’s one of the best days I’ve ever had, and that feels strange to say, considering everything that’s transpired.
But it gives me a glimpse of what our future could look like, the soon-to-be seven of us doing absolutely nothing but enjoying each other’s company.