Chapter 7 Love Guru
LOVE GURU
The villa Randall was hiding in was set back along a winding private road that was a million miles from prying eyes.
As the car got further down the driveway, a perfectly white, elegant, modern villa emerged, complete with an enticing pool that sparkled like a crystal sapphire, with orange hues from the falling sunset streaked and rippling across its surface.
Nerves rattled in my stomach as the car slowed down and we pulled up outside.
I was very uncertain what to expect from this evening.
Taking a calming breath, I stepped out, strolled up to the front door, and pushed the doorbell.
I was just considering how this might be the biggest mistake of my life, and that I could still turn back, when Randall flung the door open.
“Hey,” I said with a light smile, leveling my eyes at him.
“Well, come on in, babe! Randy’s got sauces that are going to make you wild.”
“Yeah, so that…” As I stepped inside, a thick aroma hit me, and my words faded away.
My whole body froze with delight. I felt my eyes soften and close as my nose took another deep, heavenly breath.
My arms dropped to my side in submission at the sensation, while inside my mouth, my saliva glands opened.
I was very close to letting out an “mmm” noise from my lips when I regained my senses and opened my eyes.
Randall was in front of me, staring like I was half-insane. Then he grinned when he saw my dilated pupils and trembling lips.
“Oh, Randy already knows how to make you quiver.”
“Please don’t, Randall.”
“Hey, you can moan if you want to,” he winked at me.
“Fuck. What smells so good, though?”
He wiggled his eyebrows annoyingly at me. “Welcome to Randy’s! Best French, Asian, and American cuisine in town.”
He blinked for a moment at hearing his own words and scratched thoughtfully at his chin. “You know, it probably is too.”
I stood there in the entranceway watching him, awkwardly unsure where I was supposed to go.
“Go grab yourself a beer from the fridge. If you can figure out how to get the football on Spanish TV, then that would be great. I’ve got to get back to it.”
Okay. This was not how this evening was going to go. He wanted a ‘Love Guru’, that’s what he was going to get.
“Randy.” I barked. “Stop.”
He paused mid-turn.
“We’re doing this again. And this time I’m your date, okay?”
“And…” He stared back quizzically, not understanding.
“This time, when you open the door, you say something nice like ‘Wow, you look great!’. Offer to take my coat. And don’t just throw it on the fucking couch, actually take it off my shoulders and go hang it up somewhere.”
He looked at me reluctantly.
“That sounds like work. Can’t we just hang out and fuck around?”
“No.” I shook my head. “You asked for this, remember? I’m not one of your buddies who’s come round for beers and football. You don’t wanna treat me like a lady? Then I’m out.”
“Okay, okay! Sure, I got it!”
“Offer me a seat. Offer me a drink. Make me comfortable. Ask me how my day was. Got that too?”
Randall looked at me doubtfully. “It just doesn’t sound very… Sexy.”
“Trust me, it’s sexy. You’re gonna show me you’re a gentleman, that you respect me and want to treat me right, that you give an actual fuck, and you’re not a complete bum.”
“Yeah, okay. Jeez, I got it!”
“I want you to show some interest, Randall. Make me feel like an actual desirable woman and not just another… What is it? Fuck rabbit?”
“You mean puck bunny?”
“Yep, that. Also, sweatpants and a hoodie? You think that makes a girl feel excited and like you made any effort?”
Randy looked down, thought about it for a moment, frowned, and then nodded in agreement. “Give me five minutes, okay?”
“You got five minutes to shape up.”
I went back outside and sat down on the front steps, feeling mildly pleased with myself for taking control. Maybe this would be more fun than I thought.
The sun had fallen behind the hills, and the night was quiet and humid.
Crickets called to each other while a cool breeze ran through the trees, softening the heat of the day.
Above me, the sky was free of clouds, and the early stars shone more brightly than I’d ever seen back in the city.
A cascade of distant glowing lights looked down as I watched them sparkle back at me and breathed in the clear air.
A warm feeling passed over me, along with a small sense of satisfaction that I was in charge here. Randall, I’m going to make you work tonight. I’m not here to be treated like anything other than a goddess.
As if the universe was agreeing with me, a shooting star flashed across the sky.
Just the briefest of moments that makes you feel like you’ve witnessed something rare and magical.
And then, the strangest thing happened. A small French bulldog strolled purposefully past me, like he had somewhere to be.
The odd thing about it, though, was that he was wearing red sunglasses.
The door behind me creaked open, and Randy called out, “Hey, Jefferson!”
The dog took a withering look over at Randy, before he huffed and continued on to wherever he was headed.
I looked over at Randy.
“Oh, don’t worry about him. He’s just mad because his skateboard went in the pool.”
Randy was now wearing a pressed white short-sleeved shirt, black pants, and oxblood crocodile-skin style slip-ons. His thick rush of hair was shaped a little, but still pleasingly rugged and slightly messy. Not bad, Randy, not bad.
“So… You wanna come in?” He held his hand out and helped me to my feet. “Love that dress on you, by the way, really shows off that amazing figure.”
We smiled knowingly at each other, and I realized I was already beginning to enjoy this game. As he held the door for me, I headed past him into the villa.
“Here, let me get your jacket.”
Randy’s hands rose to my shoulders, and he eased my jacket off me. Inside, a light flutter rushed through me as I felt his touch on my shoulders, giving me an excited sensation that usually came with being undressed.
“You smell nice,” he said. “Really.”
“Thank you. It smells great in here too, by the way.”
“Oh, just a little something I threw together.”
Oh, humble now, too? He was actually really trying. I couldn’t help but wonder how long it would last, though. He went to hang my jacket up, then turned and held out his hand toward me, his other arm extended into the villa.
“Please, this way.”
I slipped my fingers into his and followed him as he led me past the kitchen island, with steam and rich, exciting smells bursting from behind it, and then we found ourselves outside on a terrace.
Vines and string lights trailed down a wooden pergola, covering a table beneath that was perfect for two.
Beyond the terrace was a glorious view of the rolling hills under the starlight, dotted with occasional house lights.
To one side, a large and vibrant pearl moon was rising from behind the horizon.
The setting was dreamy, to say the least.
“One moment. I know I saw one somewhere…” Randy said, distracted. He left me and headed inside, before returning and, with some gusto, flashed open a white tablecloth, letting it fall like a blanket of feathers across the table.
Pulling out one of the two chairs, he then gestured for me to sit. As I did so, he asked, “What can I get you to drink? In fact, no. What’s your favorite drink?”
“Oh. I don’t know if I can drink martinis before dinner. Do you have any wine?”
“Red, white, or rosé? And please don’t say red or rosé, because I don’t have either of those.”
“Hah! White would be good.”
Randy disappeared back inside again, and then, just as I began to relax, I jumped in my seat as the grating thunder of The Boys Are Back In Town came booming into my ears.
The intrusion stopped just as soon as it started, along with a loud “FUCK!” from Randy inside, and then quieter, tranquil, and dreamy light jazz music began playing in its place.
Randy emerged with a bottle of chilled wine in a silver ice-bucket and two glasses, placing them down between us on the table.
He popped the cork and poured out two glasses for us.
I have no idea exactly why I always find that moment so sexy.
Perhaps it’s the pleasing sound of the cork creaking in the neck, then the pop and the gurgle of the pour, the use of tools, or simply the anticipation of a cool glass of wine. Whatever it was, I felt relaxed.
“If you’ll excuse me for a moment, I’ll be back with the first course for the evening.”
I sipped on the cool, dry wine, enjoying the sensation and the calmness. Randy came back with a steaming pot, placing it down before a thick aroma of herbs, butter, and seafood burst open when he opened the lid.
“Moules Marinières to start!”
“Damn Randall, these look good,” I marveled at him.
“So, these are done ‘sailors style’. The trick is to use dry cider instead of wine.”
“God, they smell amazing!”
“That’ll be the butter and herbs. Hope you don’t mind getting your hands a little dirty.”
“Oh, not at all,” I told him with a coy smile, as he spooned the long black pearls into large bowls, before sitting down opposite me.
“So, how was your day?”
I smiled to myself. So, he had listened.
“It was fine. Although the hotel manager seems to have taken pity on me and keeps trying to get me to join in with their experiential activities.”
“And you don’t want to?”
“Not really. If I’m honest, I don’t really want to be here at all. My boss thought it was a good idea to take a break.”
“Ah. So, we’ve both been sent to purgatory?”
“That’s a long word for you, Randall. You need to lie down?”
He grinned back at the jibe as I put a mussel into my mouth.
“Ugh, these are so good!”
“So…” he said, popping a mussel into his own mouth. You wanna hear about how I scored in the Olympic final? Or what happened in that game in Minnesota in the playoffs?”
“Oh. God no. I want you to be interested in me. Ask about me.”