Chapter 36 #2
Finally, she felt a sense of rightness. As though the world were running a little closer to the way it should, and the sense of terrible responsibility in her chest lightened.
“I don’t feel cursed anymore,” she said finally.
“That’s what I’m thinking too, Sunshine.”
“Okay, I have to ask,” she said, sitting up straight to look at him face-to-face. “Why the nickname? I understood when I was blond, but…”
“It’s not about your hair color,” he said with a short laugh.
“Well, what, then?”
He reached up and ran his thumb over her cheekbone and then down.
“That first day you came to Elk Ridge, I’d been chased by this feeling.
Like something was coming. Something big.
Something that would give me another chance.
There were signs of it everywhere. Red birds in the snow, my brand-new chisel breaking, a bush in front of my apartment putting out buds it had no right growing… Omens.
“You were right, you know. Ever since my injury, I’ve been stuck.
Right after it happened, so many people tried to give me second chances.
My parents offered to take another mortgage if I wanted another shot at school; Arnauld hatched this whole scheme for us to go to fire academy together; Rowan offered me spots on a dozen different couches in California.
But I turned it all down. Probably wouldn’t even have gone for the Guardians job if Ozzy hadn’t needed knee surgery right around when it popped up.
“I stopped making plans, or trying to hold on to anything, because it all felt destined to fail. But watching you over this last week reminded me that, yeah, we are destined to fail…”
“Thank you…?”
He prodded her in the chest. “But we’re also destined to succeed. We keep trying for things. We build things even if they might fall. You made me want to try again. I don’t know what for yet—maybe back to my ecosystems degree, maybe something else—but I know I want to figure it out. With you.”
“You still haven’t come around to the nickname.”
“I thought the connection would be obvious. Remember what I said about the sun as a symbol at Yule? It’s a sign that things are turning around for the better. You felt like the sun peeking up over the horizon. You still do. My sun.”
“Oh,” she breathed. Then she pressed her lips to his, and they exchanged a long, lingering kiss.
When she finally pulled away, he said, “You haven’t said it out loud, but I assume you’re planning to come back to Elk Ridge with me?”
“Yes, but…”
Her voice stalled in her throat because she needed to say something.
Something that would help her know if this was just a stopover on a road to elsewhere, or something that could last. And if she had to walk away now, before it was impossible—because she knew she was only a few kisses away from becoming that way—she would. She owed it to herself.
“Do you think there’s any future outside of Elk Ridge for you? Not immediately, of course. There’s the hotel, and of course the other festivals to help save…”
He raised an eyebrow. “The other festivals? I didn’t hear Rowan bring that up.”
“Well, that’s because she doesn’t know yet, but I’m exactly what you need. I can tell they aren’t doing well, and for all that Gavin McCreery might be great at helping people extend their pennies, he’s not a strategist. I’m a strategist.”
“You sure are.” Then he didn’t miss a beat, bringing them back to her original point. “Elk Ridge really isn’t a place you’ll be happy long-term, though, is it?”
“I think I could be happy with you,” she said hurriedly.
“But you don’t want to stake all your happiness on me. Because, yeah, you shouldn’t.”
“Yes,” she said, feeling unsettled but hopeful, “yes, that’s it exactly.”
“And I’m guessing you don’t feel like jumping feet first into the coven?”
She let out a barking laugh. “No, no, I do not. There’s a spot open, right? Were you thinking maybe it could be for me?”
His eyes were soft and a little sad as he said, “I had moments where I hoped it, once I found out what you could do. But I never really thought it, no.”
She looked at her hands. “The Baba Yaga said I was a bridge, that I could help connect worlds, which seems like the better place for me than all the way on the inside. Does it sound okay to you?”
His eyes softened, and he leaned forward to tap her on the nose.
“Today is the day you stop asking permission to be who you are. And back to the subject of moving…” He took a deep breath but then finally nodded.
“Yeah, I was already thinking I’d probably need to.
Especially if I get a degree. Maybe that’s part of why I avoided moving on, because I knew it would be literal. ”
“Your family’s going to hate me all over again if I take you from the coven.”
He shook his head. “They’ve wanted this for me. They’ll support it. Ms. Bev? She might never forgive you.”
“I have a feeling she’s not the last octogenarian I’ll have to fight for your hand. Your fan club has a granny chapter. They call themselves—”
He closed his eyes. “Please don’t say it…”
“The rusty you know whats.”
Stephan buried his face in his hands. “I’m never living that down, am I?”
Hayleigh leaned in and pressed herself to him, whispering, “Not so long as I can keep finding ways to remind you.”
“You do that, and I might have to start pointing out how useless your footwear choices are.”
“These are boots!” she said, propping up her Melinda Cavallinos with their coat of shaggy white fur. “That’s real fox, I’ll have you know.”
“I’m sure they’re warm, but…” He ran a hand down the sole. “No tread. That’s why you keep slipping. Not that I mind the excuse to get my hands on you, but I won’t always be there…”
“That happened once.”
“Because the snow’s still deep. When it turns to ice, it’s a whole different can of bruised tailbones…”