5. Lena
5
LENA
I’m losing my frigging mind.
My thighs are sore, my hands are raw, and I’m wound up so tight that I feel like screaming.
And it’s all because of him .
Colt Ryder, the gorgeous, brooding, maddening cowboy who thinks he can glare at me from under the brim of his hat and keep me in “my place” by barking orders and threatening me with more punishments.
I thought last night would cause him to act.
Last night when he watched me–saw every single naked inch of me. No other man alive has seen what Colt saw last night at the pond. I offered myself to him like a female in heat, and he denied me.
He was hard, I know that. I could see the bulge, very visible, beneath his dirty jeans. His eyes were flaming as he raked my body with them, and yet he still turned away like I’m some little girl who doesn’t know what she’s doing. Like I’m a mistake just waiting to be made.
But he’s wrong. He doesn’t know anything about me.
And I’m just dying to show him.
I’ve literally felt his gaze on my skin since I first arrived. I’ve heard him muttering things about me below his breath when he thinks I’m out of earshot. I’ve seen the way his fists clench tightly and his jaw flexes whenever he checks me out or I sass him.
Colt wants me. There’s no question about it.
So then why won’t he act on it? Is he just too stubborn to admit it? Is it some kind of gentleman-cowboy code that I don’t know about?
Well, if he won’t do something, I will. I’m tired of pretending there isn’t something going on between us.
I slam the barn door shut behind me so hard that the horses shift in their stalls, whinnying nervously. The morning sun is high, slanting through the windows in golden shafts that light the dust as I march past the stacks of hay bales and the saddles hanging from their racks.
I know he’s in here. I can feel him.
And sure enough, as I walk down the row between the stalls, I hear him. That low, gravelly voice, rumbling a curse at a broken feed bucket. The sound of his boots on dirty concrete. “Nobody else to get this goddamn work done,” he mutters, drawing a smile from my lips.
“There he is,” I say loudly, crossing my arms and smirking down at him where he kneels in the hay.
Colt looks up, and the second his eyes land on my body, I feel it. That raw, electric tugging sensation that makes the air too thick to breathe and causes my heartrate to skyrocket. His face is a storm of indignation–eyes narrow, brow furrowed–but behind it all, there’s something incredibly hot that pulls at me like gravity.
It’s need .
“Lena,” he say slowly, his voice low and controlled, like I’m some spooked little barn cat he doesn’t want to scare off. “No more screwing around–”
“I’m not here to play games, Colt,” I interrupt, stepping closer.
He nods. “That’s good. Then turn your little ass around and march out of this barn and let me work.”
I pause, smile, and shake my head. “Sorry. That’s not happening.”
He stands up slowly. His shoulders look even broader in the shaft of light illuminating him like he’s on a stage, his white tee clinging to the sweat slicking his enormous chest. He chucks the feed bucket behind him with a loud clang , almost like he’s trying to intimidate me.
All it does is turn me on even more.
“I’m your boss here, Lena–”
“I’m tired of you acting like you don’t see me,” I snap, my emotions rising up in my chest. I’m hot, and my cheeks are burning. “Sick and tired of this strong, angry cowboy act you’re putting on. You watched me last night, Colt. You looked at me like you wanted to throw me over your shoulder and have your way with me.”
A growl sounds low and deep in his throat.
“But then you turned away and ran off like I’m some little girl you’re too scared to touch because you might break her.” His throat tightens. His eyes darken. “Well, guess what, Colt? I’m not some little sweet thing that needs protection. No matter what you think.”
I’m right in front of him now, close enough to see the storm cloud raging in his eyes. His lips are a slim, furious line, and just to push him even further, I reach up and tap him on the chest with my index finger. Daring him.
“You want me,” I whisper. “Admit it.”
“Stop,” he rasps, looking away.
“ Admit it,” I repeat, louder.
“Stop it, Lena,” he repeats, his voice dangerously tense.
I swing my face in front of his, forcing him to look at me. “Make me.”
His hands fly up before I can even blink. One snatches my wrist, the other presses against my hip, and suddenly I’m pinned up against the rough wood of the nearest stall with a force that nearly knocks the wind out of me.
My chest heaves as he presses his body against mine, his breath hot against my cheek. One of his thighs wedges between my legs, and I feel it , the bulge I saw last night. Hard, massive, and unyielding. He wants to make sure I feel it.
“You really think you’re ready for a guy like me, Lena?” he snarls. “Do you have any idea what you’re getting yourself into?”
“I know exactly what I’m asking for, Colt,” I breathe, tilting my chin up in defiance. “And I’m not afraid of you either.”
His grip on me tightens. His rough hand digs into my wrist.
“Well, maybe you should be,” he says. “I bet you’re still a virgin, aren’t you?”
His question shocks me, but only for a second. I refuse to let him see the surprise in my eyes, and I answer his question quickly. “Yeah. So? So what?”
For the first time, his lips twist into something almost resembling a smile, and he scoffs. “And you want me to take your cherry?” He shakes his head, almost to himself. “I don’t do soft, Lena. I don’t do sweet. I’m not the kind of man who takes things slow and whispers romantic catchphrases in your ear.”
Jesus, even when he’s denying me, he’s unbelievably hot. If Colt wasn’t working on this ranch, he’d have a line of women just begging to be let into his bedroom.
“What if I told you that I don’t want sweet?” I whisper, my voice trembling. “That I don’t want soft or romantic? That I just want you?”
Colt’s eyes slam shut, and his teeth clench like he’s in pain. He leans in and presses his forehead against mine, his lips only centimeters away. And for just a second, I want him to unravel. I want him to lose control.
“You have no clue how long I’ve been fighting this, Lena,” he finally admits, his voice rough and tense. “How badly I’ve wanted to bend you over a hay bale or throw you in the back of my pickup and destroy you.”
My pulse pounds heavily in my ears. That tickling sensation I felt before between my thighs is back with a vengeance. I may be already sweating, but I can feel myself getting wet as his eyes bore holes into mine.
“Then stop fighting it,” I tell him.
His enormous arms are trembling as he holds me. His skin against mine has me burning, and his lips are so close to touching mine. He’s great at barking orders, but I bet he’s even better at kissing.
And…other things…
He leans closer, and for a second, I’m convinced he’s going to finally give in, and we’re about to embrace.
But then he just lets go and steps back like holding on to me is painful. He turns away and leans against the stall, gasping enormous lungfuls of air like he just went ten rounds in the boxing ring.
“I…can’t,” he chews out slowly. “It just wouldn’t be right.”
“Bullshit!” I snap, chasing after him. I try to grab him by the bicep, but he twists away. “Just because I’m a virgin, it doesn’t mean you have to treat me like some dainty little princess that will break when you touch her! I’m a woman–a woman who knows what she wants!”
He shakes his head and whirls on me. “You think this is a game,” he snarls. “You think that just because you wear short-shorts and flaunt your perfect body to me that I’ll just lose control and fuck you silly?”
“Yes,” I hiss back. “That’s exactly what I think.”
He stares down at me, chest heaving as he drags his eyes up my body, stopping on every one of my curves like he’s admiring a statue on display at a museum. At least now he’s not trying to hide it.
“Fucking hell,” he mutters, like he’s begging the universe for help.
I close the remaining distance between us and press my palm to his chest, right over his heart, which is hammering hard like the piston of an engine. “I’m already yours, Colt. Haven’t you figured that out yet?”
His lips tighten, and his hand reaches out–but he quickly stops and curls his fingers back like he’s fighting against every single instinct in his body.
“You’re shaking because of me,” I whisper, driving the point home.
His eyes finally land on mine, wild and wide. His mouth opens slightly, but then he’s backing away again.
“You’re right, Lena,” he admits. “You drive me crazy. But you’re playing a dangerous game, sweetheart. If I sink my teeth into you, I won’t ever let go. I’ll devour every inch of you until all that’s left is a girl who can’t remember her life before me.”
Again, I reply with a defiant look. “Maybe that’s what I want.”
And with that, I turn and stride from the barn.
I’m not going to stand here and be walked away from again. Not again.
I don’t look back. I know he’s watching, eyes glued to my ass, watching my thighs gleam in the sun.
I’m yours, Colt. I’m not afraid. Now what are you gonna do about it?