Chapter 33 Cole
Cole
I glance between Cassie and John.
Everything feels off tilt in that way it does when two different parts of your life mix right in front of you. I’ve never been good at that, to be honest. Always liked to keep stuff separate.
There’s private, and then there’s pathological, as Jess likes to remind me.
But here it is: John Novak, the retired star who mentored me when I was a rookie, is standing next to Cassie, the future superstar agent and my ‘babysitter’ and the woman I’m way too obsessed with for my own good.
Cassie’s been networking her ass off the whole night, charming the room even better than Rick or any of the other agents that have thirty years on her. But there’s no smile on her face as she stares at John Novak.
“John.” I shake his hand. “How’s it going, man? Don’t eat any of the shrimp, I heard they’re bad.”
“Oh, you know,” John says, and there’s a weird tightness to his voice. But he smiles that warm, easy smile he’s known for, the one that got him the TV broadcaster job. “Same old. Another day, another work party.”
My eyes swing back to Cassie. Her warm skin has paled and her eyes have lost that vibrant sparkle. She’s frozen. It’s an unnerving sight. Lively, bubbly Cassie frozen to the spot like this.
“You okay, Cass?” I mutter.
She abruptly backs away. “I—I have to go.”
I watch as she hurries away into the crowd of people, toward the building’s courtyard. I feel the pull like a magnet, the urge to chase after her and make sure she’s okay. Make sure nothing is hurting, because if anything’s hurting, I see it as my job to fix it now.
“Excuse me.” I turn away from John, following where Cassie disappeared.
I hear John’s voice over my shoulder. “Cole?” I turn back for a brief moment, and there’s a weird look in his eyes. “Don’t believe everything you hear.”
What the hell? Why is everyone being so goddamn cryptic right now? I push open the door into the darkness of the courtyard with more force than necessary, cold air hitting my face.
My stomach twists. Cassie’s sitting on the ground, back against the wall, her knees drawn up to her chest. I can’t see her face, but her warm breath is white in the frigid air.
“Cassie.” I sink to the ground next to her, wrapping her up under my arm. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”
She turns to me, looking up at me. Bright blue eyes under the fan of those dark lashes.
“He’s my dad, Cole.”
The words sound like they’ve been torn from her lips.
“What are you talking about? Who—John?”
I don’t get the damn joke. What Cassie just said doesn’t add up. But her expression isn’t like she’s making a joke. She just holds my gaze, unblinking, the slightest tremor on the rose-pink curve of her full lips.
“Yes. John. He’s my dad.”
I slowly shift back from her. I’m hit with the sensation of missing a step in the dark. The inches between us suddenly feel like the Grand Canyon.
I feel like an idiot. Caught out and clueless.
Confused frustration colors my voice. “I’ve known John for years… I told you he used to mentor me, back when I was a rookie. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Cole. I… can’t.”
Why would Cassie not have told me about this? Is she some… hockey nepo baby who’s hiding her connections?
But the pieces don’t add up. All that time I knew John—all the calls we had where he’d advise me on surviving in the league—and he mentioned a wife many times, but no daughter. To my knowledge, he didn’t have any kids.
“Why the hell would you keep this from me?”
It feels stupid as soon as I say it. We had an agreement after all: take it slow and don’t label it. Which means she’s not my girlfriend. She’s allowed to keep personal family secrets from me, right? Even if I do happen to be pretty well acquainted with that secret.
But Cassie isn’t just Rick’s junior agent. And she’s not just a woman I’m sleeping with.
She’s the person I’ve grown to trust. She’s the one who got me to open up, even if it was just once in a blue moon.
When she looks back at me, she’s not crying. It’s worse than that; she just looks frozen over and steely. It instantly cracks my heart open to see her warmth just snuffed out like that.
“John Novak was never a father to me.” Her voice shakes just a little as she speaks.
“My parents dated for a bit in their early twenties, and then when my mom got pregnant, she asked him to commit to being a father or leave. He gave us a check and left. The world knows him as a beloved hockey star. I know him as the man who walked out on us.”
The frustration drains from me in a second, and then I’m ashamed I ever felt it. Shit. Of course she didn’t tell me this. I don’t want to believe what I’m hearing about my former mentor, but I can see on Cassie’s pretty face that it’s all true.
I run a hand over my jaw. “Christ. I’m sorry. I had no idea.”
“You believe me?” she whispers.
My voice softens. Fuck, it hurts hearing Cassie sound like that. As if there’s any way I wouldn’t trust anything she told me. “Why wouldn’t I believe you, baby?”
“Well, he has his own version of the story. One where I’m an inconvenience, causing a problem for him by daring to choose a career in hockey.”
I firmly brace my arm around her shoulders, drawing her close to my chest again.
“I always thought John was this great guy. He encouraged me to play hard and have the single-minded focus of a winner. But I know you, Cassie. You’re not a liar. That must have been fucking tough for you and your mom.”
My mind slips back to all those conversations I had with John back when I was a rookie.
We met at a league event in New York one night, and he took a shine to me.
For the next few years, he was always available for a call.
Though I had a good team around me, it was helpful having a retired NHL star available to talk stuff over with.
He emphasized one point: that all the sacrifices are worth it.
That everything you give up and leave behind is worth it when you finally raise that Stanley Cup.
Now the irony just tastes bitter.
“I had my mom growing up, and that’s all I needed,” Cassie murmurs.
“But all this time, I’ve been trying to build this career while having this hanging over my head.
I thought if I could get a promotion and rise through the ranks at my agency, I’d finally feel more secure.
But back inside, he tried to pay me off to leave the industry and keep this secret.
When I said no, he basically threatened to ruin my career.
He thinks my existence is a smudge on his perfect legacy. ”
A lightning strike of anger cracks in my chest. “What a scumbag. Fuck, I had no idea he was capable of that.”
Her shoulders shake slightly, and I don’t think it’s the cold.
Cassie knows what it’s like to carry around something heavy and cold in her heart, just like I do.
But I’ve let it swallow me up and lashed out at the world in response.
While she has held her head up high and decided not to let it darken her spirit.
“That’s why it’s so important to me to stay positive and optimistic,” she says. “I’m angry, Cole. I don’t like that about myself. I work hard to be bright and happy because I know there’s anger underneath and I don’t want to let it win.”
“Being angry at shitty things isn’t a flaw. It isn’t losing. It’s just human, baby. You’re allowed to feel bad sometimes.”
“I guess so,” she murmurs. “For what it’s worth, I had no idea you even knew him until the night of the sponsor party. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I thought if you found out, you might view me differently. God, Cole, that terrified me.”
I turn, kneeling in front of her. My hand finds hers, closing easily around her fingers. They feel cool to the touch under the chill of the winter night breeze.
She’s not my girlfriend, no. She’s not mine to keep. But still, I want to warm her up anyway. I want to make everything right for her.
“Listen to me, Cassie Wells. You belong here. You belong here as much as a number one pick in the draft. You belong here as much as I do—more, probably. I’ve seen you crush Rick’s agency paperwork.
I’ve seen you supporting Noah like he’s your own client.
I’ve seen you take the shitty assignment of babysitting an angry goalie and turn it into something worthwhile.
Something that I’m extremely damn grateful for. ”
Her face warms into a smile, and—not for the first time—I’m struck by the feeling that I’d do just about anything to put a smile back on Cassie Wells’ face.
“You two look cozy.”
My head whips around to see John leaning against the open doorway. The smile on his face isn’t the one he shows off on TV. No, it’s tight and strained.
“Cole, I didn’t take you for the type to have problems with professional boundaries,” he rasps. “I didn’t know you two were so… close.”
Shit. My mentor being Cassie’s estranged father wasn’t part of my plan for the rest of the season. Him suspecting the truth of the relationship between me and Cassie is definitely not part of the plan either.
I stand up to my full height and gently help Cassie up to her feet too. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
John shrugs. “What did she tell you?”
“The truth,” Cassie answers bluntly.
John shakes his head, like this answer isn’t satisfactory. “You know how it is, Cole. Real life is complicated. It’s not black and white. You have to make sacrifices to succeed. I hope I can trust you to keep this between us.”
Right now, all I can feel is a heavy thud of anger in my chest. I’m not interested in hearing his defense right now.
“Spare yourself the words, John. We’re leaving.” I place my hand around Cassie’s and lead her toward the exit. John doesn’t budge as I reach the door.
“You better watch yourself,” he says, his gaze slowly dragging between Cassie and me. A clear warning shot. “Both of you.”
Anger bites in my chest, sinks its teeth right into some deep part of me. Asshole. I push past John, my shoulder slamming into his. He goes reeling to the side with a grunt, and it’s petty, sure, but it’s satisfying as hell.
“Whoops,” I mutter, not looking back at him. “Guess I wasn’t watching myself.”
This isn’t over. I know that much.
But I glance down at Cassie’s face as we leave John standing in the doorway. Her eyes meet mine, wide in surprise. Then a soft little smile touches her face, and I know with complete certainty I’ll do whatever it takes to stop anyone wiping that smile off her face again.
“Come on, baby,” I whisper in her ear. “Let me take you home.”