Chapter 1
Vee
"Ilove you, Vee," Hank whispers in my ear after we both orgasm, and I brace my hand on the mattress so I don’t collapse on top of him.
He gets pissed at me when I treat him gingerly, fully reminding me it's been five months since that night in the club. The day I almost lost him and Ash. Jace too, but I’m not as close to him.
The bright side of that situation is that I got Luca back.
I have my brother. I thought I’d never see him again.
So many times I asked my mom about him, but she would tear up and leave the room.
Eventually, I stopped asking, and with each passing day it became easier to forget him.
I knew my father hung around terrible people, but I just didn’t know he was the President of a MC.
And not just any MC, the Satan’s Rejects.
My dad and brother were in the same town as me this whole time and were so close..
It sucks that we lost so much time together. That we didn’t get to grow up with each other. Would I be the same hard-ass person I am now? Would he have run off any boy wanting to date me?
So many questions with answers I’ll never know.
"You're just saying that because I was your personal nurse.
Anyone would say that to the girl who gave them sponge baths.
" I pepper kisses along his chest before rising up, letting his cock slip out of me, his cum dripping from my pussy as I do. Hoping more than anything that my actions say the words I can’t.
Standing from the bed, I head to the bathroom to clean up.
“You don’t have to say it back,” he says, his tone laced with a quiet confidence that makes my chest tighten. “I know you feel it too. Even if you aren’t ready to admit it.”
He's right, I do. My heart clenches, a weight so heavy it can't even beat. Because to tell him, would mean to deny the other feelings that course through my body. More importantly, who I have them for.
I don't say a word, just step inside my bathroom and shut the door. Instead of just cleaning up, I turn the shower on full blast and step under it, not waiting for it to heat up.
My early morning romp in the sack with Hank has me running late. I still need to go see Luke at the shop to begin working on my newest tattoo—the one I’ll have matching with my brother.
Luke.
I still have to figure out where we stand. How to deal with the feelings I also have for him. How did my life become so complicated?
Can my heart be big enough to love more than one man? To give each of them the time they need?
I want to believe I can. But I don’t know. Even worse. Could they all be okay with sharing me?
Is this how Ash felt when she met her guys? Confused? Guilty? Unsure?
I want to talk to her so badly about it. But she’s pregnant, and I don’t want to add any stress to her. Why I think it would cause her stress is beyond me. It’s not like she would judge me. She likes both Hank and Luke.
Stop. I just need to get it together and stop overanalyzing everything.
Standing under the water, I lean forward, placing my hands on the cold tile, allowing the warm liquid to cascade down my spine. I can’t see him, but I feel the air shift when Hank steps in behind me, leaning in, blocking the flow of water from my back.
"I love you, Veronica. If you're not ready to admit it, that's fine, but I am.
You've been mine since the first time I saw you. Standing behind the bar, slinging drinks and insults like you own the place. I just wish I hadn’t been a fool and waited so long to tell you.
" He kisses a trail along my shoulder, and butterflies dance in my stomach.
"Okay." I don't know what else to say. Do I tell him I have feelings for Luke? He has to know, right? I mean, we were hooking up before Hank was shot at the club. It’s not like it wasn’t public knowledge.
Granted, since then it's only been meetups here and there. Stolen kisses when no one’s looking. Especially Hank.
I can feel the sigh of his breath on my skin at my response. He doesn’t like my answer. I knew he wouldn't. Hell, if I were in his place, I wouldn't either.
Yet, he’s still here. His hands are still on my body, touching me with love and not anger.
Reaching down, I pick up the soap and sponge, squirt some on it, then wash my body. "I need to hurry. I'm running late." My words are short, and I know he senses something is off.
"Where you goin'?" Not the question I expected him to ask.
He takes the sponge from my hand and washes my back.
My heart crumbles a little more at his tenderness.
Most think he's some overgrown meathead biker who speaks in broken English.
But he's really a giant teddy bear who would lay down his life for those he loves.
Evident in how he tried to protect Ash. How he ended up in the hospital, fighting for his life.
So, I plaster on a smile and turn around to face him, as I tell him where I’m going.
"Me and Luca are getting our tattoos today." Even with the turmoil I’m in with my romantic life, I am excited, especially since Luca drew them himself. He even wrote the words that will be inside of it. Honestly, having a living reminder of him is what thrills me the most.
"Want me to go with ya?"
“No.” The word snaps out of me before I can soften it.
He doesn’t say anything, but the way he pulls back, just a fraction, is enough to tell me I’ve struck a nerve. Like I said, he’s a big ol’ teddy bear.
"Okay, I need to go to the club anyway," he murmurs, like he’s convincing himself of something. I can hear the hurt in his voice, but I don't try to console him. And I don’t change my mind and invite him.
I take a deep breath, blowing it out slowly.
"Actually, I need to hurry. My appointment is in an hour." I take the sponge from his hand, turn back around and quickly finish washing my body. My hair needs to be washed too, but I’m not worrying about it now. I need to get out of here.
He reaches past me, picking up his own sponge and washes himself.
The sound of the shower fills the awkward silence in the bathroom while steam rises around us.
The tension between the two of us is so thick you could cut through it with a knife.
Hank finishes and steps out of the shower, leaving me alone.
He doesn’t even say goodbye. He’s leaving and he doesn’t even want to tell me goodbye or kiss me.
Fuck! I hate hurting him like this, especially since I really do love him.
It's crazy how close we got after that night. Even before that, we were growing close. But he wasn't the only one. I have feelings for two others.
How in the hell am I supposed to tell them all? Better yet, do the other two even feel the same?
Maybe I can talk with Luke today. No need to worry if they would be interested in a relationship like the one Ash and her guys have until I know for sure if any of them even wants to be in a relationship at all.
To Luke and Josh, I may just be a side piece. Good for a fuck and to hang out with, but nothing more. Not good enough to be an Ol’ lady but just a little higher than a club whore.
Josh. That one snuck up on me, and I haven’t really been able to explore it.
We’re never alone, yet our eyes are always drawn to each other when we’re in a room together.
I saw a different side of him when he first took care of Ash after her kidnapping, then Hank.
There’s no us, but my heart still wants him.
Why is this so difficult?
Once I'm done, I turn the water off and step out of the shower, pulling the towel from the rack and drying off. When I enter the bedroom, I’m surprised to see that Hank is almost dressed, just pulling his shirt over his head. I thought he had already left.
"Hank," his name rolls off my tongue.
"Hey babe, I'm gonna head out. I need to run by the clubhouse before headin’ over to Hell's Desire.
" His voice is cold, and I know he's mad, hurt, maybe both.
But there's nothing I can do about it now, even if I wanted to.
First, I need to see where everyone else stands because there's no way I can cause a rift between Hank, Luke, and Josh. Not with them being in the Hellions together. They’re brothers, and there's no way I’ll be the cause of animosity. Besides, the club always comes first.
"Hank," I call out as I grip the towel to my body, barely covering myself.
"No, it's fine. I need to go, and you got shit with your brother." He goes to leave the room, but stops in the doorway before looking back at me.
I clear my throat as I step toward him. Everything in me is screaming to tell him how I feel. That I do love him. How complicated everything is. But before I can say anything, his voice fills the silence.
"Look, Vee, we need to talk. I thought we had something here.
I'm not a fool, though. I know you messed around with Luke in the past, and I was hopin' it had stopped.
If there's still something goin' on there, you need to tell me.” He looks up at me with his dark chocolate eyes full of so much turmoil.
“As much as I love you, it's not enough to share you.
So, you need to decide what you want. Until then, I'll be stayin' at my place.
" He steps out of the bedroom door, shutting it behind him.
It's not long before I hear the front door close and the sound of the deadbolt clicking into place.
He left.
My chest tightens, and I feel a stabbing pain. Bile rises in my throat and I think I’m going to be sick. Is this what it feels like when your heart breaks?
Stumbling over to the bed, I drop onto it, letting the tears break free. That huge teddy bear of a man was telling me I had to make a choice. If it wasn't him, then he was done. But I can't choose, and I sure as hell won’t cause issues between members of the Hellions.
How did I let myself get involved in a love square that had no future?