Chapter 8
Vee
Apounding on my door has me startling awake.
The television has gone back to the home screen for streaming.
I must’ve drifted off to sleep. My body and mind are both fully exhausted from the events of the last twenty-four hours.
I have to rub my eyes, trying desperately to clear my blurry vision as the incessant knocking continues.
Each pounding is louder than the one before it.
“VeeVee, open up,” my brother shouts from the other side of the door, pulling me to the present.
Luca. Fuck. He told me he’d be over as soon as he finished up what he was doing. The last thing I remember is watching Walking Dead for the millionth time.
“Coming,” I shout as I toss the blanket off me and stand up. I take a moment to stretch my arms above my head, my back arching as I try to loosen the tension my body is holding. As I walk to the door, I rub the back of my neck trying to ease the crick in my neck.
I unlock the door, take hold of the knob and open it. He takes one look at me and pulls me into his arms, hugging me tightly.
“Who the fuck am I killin’?” he growls.
“No one. Everyone.” I can’t hold the sobs back. He lets go of me long enough to shut the door behind us. “Tell me who made you cry.”
I shake my head and step back over to the couch, bringing my legs up on it and pull the blanket back over me. He’s not taking that for an answer though. Luca rushes to my side, taking a seat in front of me.
“VeeVee. You messaged you needed to talk to me and I show up to your face looking like this. Who hurt you? Don’t make me fuckin’ ask again.”
The dam bursts and my mouth starts spilling everything to him a mile a minute. He doesn’t stop me, or look at me with any type of judgment. He just listens. Exactly what I need him to do.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry. I thought for sure you’d end up with both of them. The Doc, that’s a new one to me.” He reaches out, using the back of his hand to wipe the tears off my cheek. “What can I do? Killing them might start a war with the Hellions, but I’d do it for you.”
The way he’s looking at me. Eyes full of love, but there’s something dark just beneath them. The way his jaw is clenched. I can see the steady ticking of the muscles in his neck, which tells me he would do it without a second thought.
“No. I don’t want anyone murdered. My heart is broken, but I can’t make them love me if they don’t,” I whisper, placing my hand on his.
“It’s not a matter of love. I know they love you.” He swallows.
“I know. It’s the sharing. It’s not a life for just anyone. Hank made it clear he wouldn’t. And I didn’t give Luke a chance to say if he would. I won’t cause a rift between them. And I can’t choose. For me, it’s all three of them or no one.” I let out a deep sigh, one that rattles my whole body.
“What do you want me to do if not kill them? Torture? That might cause too much strife between our clubs. Again, if it comes to war, you’re coming with me.”
That’s a good question. What do I want from my brother?
Hank and Luke I don’t see coming here anytime soon.
But Josh. That’s a different story. He already said he was giving me a day, then after his shift he’s coming for me.
I’m not ready for that. To tell him no, we can’t be something, because I can’t have all of them.
“I need some space. Time away from everyone where they can’t just show up at my door.” I bite my lip, debating what I’m about to ask. It’s the perfect solution, though.
“You want to get out of town? Do you need money? Anything you want, VeeVee.”
“No, not out of town. But I was hoping I could stay at your clubhouse for a while. I have to work tonight, but then I’m asking for some time off.
” I start fiddling with the edge of the blanket, trying my hardest to keep from bursting into tears again.
“If I’m at your compound, behind the gates, then I don’t have to worry about seeing them. ”
He sits there, nodding his head, but doesn’t speak. We’ve just reconnected, so I begin to think it’s foolish of me to think he’d let me just waltz into his club and hide out.
“If that’s what you need. I can get you a room ready.
” He places his hand over mine when he notices them shaking.
“Just know our club isn’t like the Hellions.
They’re vicious and shit happens there; I’d never want you exposed to.
I’m changing things, but it’s taking a while, especially with some of the older members of the club. ”
“I don’t care. And until Ash showed up, the Hellions weren’t as lax as they are now.” I laugh, but it’s not one that comes from amusement.
“When are you wanting to come stay?” he asks, already pulling out his phone, typing a message to someone. Most likely Nic, his best friend and the VP of the Satan’s Rejects.
“I can come in the morning if you want. Tonight would be better. I just need to be away from here for a little while.” I tell him.
“Pack your bags and bring everything you need.” He laughs. “I’ll have everything ready for you tonight. Just message me before you head to the clubhouse.”
“I love you, Luca. I’m so glad we found each other.” My arms are flying around his neck before he even has a chance to respond. I break down again, but he just holds me. His hand rubbing soothing circles on my back until all my tears are gone and I have none left to give.
What I need to do now is figure out how to close off my heart when I have to see them every day. To do that, I need some time away from them.
I pull into the parking lot of Hell’s Desire, my heart pounding so loudly I can hear it over the radio. I’ve been dreading this since I left my house. Hank works tonight, and I’m going to have to face him.
“Come on, Vee, get your shit together. You need to walk inside that building, head held high, and let Bash know you’re taking some time off. At least a week. If he says no, then I’ll figure that out later.”
My eyes drift to the back seat where a suitcase filled with my clothing and toiletries sit. A few pillows and bedding are crammed into the trash bag beside it. Figured that would make it easier to carry.
Opening the door, I get out of my car and make my way to the building. Each step that brings me closer feels like I’m trudging through quicksand. I keep moving, fear of chickening out and running straight to my brother takes over.
But when I open the door, it’s not Hank I see. It’s Mack.
“Hey girl.” He quickly greets me.
I want to ask where he is, but I don’t.
“Parking lot already looks crazy. Is Bash in his office?”
“Yeah, there’s a bachelor party and some frat group inside. Tips should be good as long as they don’t get stupid. He’s there. If not he’s on the floor.” He gives me a wink. Not a flirty one, but a friendly one that makes me feel like he knows what happened between me and the guys.
I smile back and head inside. Straight upstairs to the office. I need to get this over with. When I reach the top I take a deep breath, calming myself, before lifting my hand and knocking on the door.
“Come in,” comes gruffly from the other side.
Taking hold of the knob, I open the door to see Bash at his desk, and Javier sitting right in front of him.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” I ask, my voice shakier than it normally is.
“Yeah, come on in and take a seat.” He waves me forward, gesturing to the chair beside Javier.
I take my time moving across the room, trying my damndest to hide my shaking hands, but I must not do a good job.
“Everything okay?” Javier asks, lowering his feet to the floor, from where they were propped on the desk.
“Umm yes… No,” I answer. Fuck, this is harder than I thought it would be.
“I hate to do this. But I need to take some time off. I need to work through some things.”
Bash leans back in his chair, lifting his hands behind his head and just gazes at me for a minute like he’s trying to put the pieces to a puzzle together.
“How long do you need?” Bash doesn’t even ask me why I need the time.
“I don’t want to leave you in a clutch. Can I get a week? At least?”
“Yeah. On one condition.”
This is it. He’s probably going to tell me I don’t have a job. That I’m a bitch for leading on his brothers. Not like he cares that his woman is one of my good friends.
“Okay.” I swallow, my knee bouncing nervously.
“Take the night off. We know there’s some shit between you, Hank, Luke, and the Doc. It’s why he’s not here right now. We knew he needed some time to cool off,” Bash says, lowering his hands, placing them on his desk.
“You’re not firing me?”
Javier lets out a laugh, one so loud you can hear it rumbling.
“Shit no, girl. You’re the best bartender we got. This shit with the guys, it’ll blow over. If it doesn’t then you’ll all move on,” Bash says, a smile on his face. “You’ll always have a place here, Vee, for as long as you want it.”
I will not cry. But I can feel the tears welling in my eyes.
“Thank you. But are you sure you don’t need me tonight? It looks pretty crowded.”
His fingers rap on the desk in a rhythmic beat. He doesn’t utter a word, and Javier just shakes his head.
“Let her work if she wants, man. I’ll stay near her, and if she needs to leave, then I’ll take over.” Javier speaks up as he stands. “Come on, Vee. Let’s go.”
“Thank you again, Bash.” I stand up and follow Javier as we leave the office and go down the stairs.
“Everything is going to….” Javier stops midway down the step, cursing under his breath. My hands reach out, grabbing hold of the railing to keep from falling right into him. He turns around to face me. “Maybe we should go upstairs and talk to Bash some more.”
I shake my head in confusion. “Huh?”
“Shit, girl. Look. Hank’s here.”
Okay. No big deal. I was expecting him to be here, anyway. I just assumed he’d be working the door, cutting down the number of times I’d see him. Instead, he’s going to be a customer it seems.
“No biggie. I can handle it.”
“Vee…”
The rest of what he says is just static in the background. Because it’s then I see Hank, but he’s not alone. He has one of the girls I’ve seen at the clubhouse with him. His arm is around her and she’s kissing him on the neck, practically humping his cock at the bar. My bar. The main one I work at.
My eyes see red and I can’t breathe.
“I’m… I’m going to go ahead and take off now. Tell Bash thank you,” I stammer out before stepping around him and rushing out of the club.
It’s not until I’m in my car, door locked, engine started and pulling out of the parking lot that I start crying. When I stop at a red light, I take out my phone and message Luca.
Me: Plan changed. Not working. OMW now.