Chapter Fifteen
Mark sat across from Jeremy in the modest office at the church.
A bookshelf lined one wall, a couple of framed prints hung on the other, and between them a small table with a box of tissues.
After a few minutes of polite small talk—work, the weather, his kids—Jeremy leaned forward, hands folded loosely in his lap.
"So, Mark, what do you hope to get out of our time together?"
Mark exhaled slowly. "I don't know. I guess I want you to tell me how to fix my marriage, if that's even possible after what I did."
Jeremy smiled, but his tone was matter-of-fact. "From our last conversation, I understand you're eager to save your marriage. I want you to know it is possible--in fact, many couples do find a way forward after infidelity."
He paused, his expression sober. "But whether your marriage can be salvaged depends on a lot of things—true repentance, honest communication, cutting off all contact with the other woman, and a willingness to put in the hard work.
Even if you do all of that, Tessa may still be too deeply hurt to forgive you or to trust you with her heart again. "
Mark felt a flicker of hope, tempered by the heaviness of Jeremy's words.
Maybe it wasn't impossible to win Tessa back—but it could be that the damage was already too great.
"I've cut things off with Kate—completely.
Honestly, that was the easy part. What I thought I felt for her was just an illusion, and it dissolved when I started to think clearly again.
The rest... I want to do it, I just don't know where to start. "
His face twisted with regret. "When I look back at what I did, I can't even understand it. I can't make sense of how I could betray Tessa that way. It literally makes me sick to think about it."
Jeremy nodded, his expression calm but intent.
"Then let's take a step back and look at what led up to it.
" His voice firmed. "But don't misunderstand me—we're not looking to excuse what you did.
Lots of people feel dissatisfied at times, for all kinds of reasons, but they don't cheat on their spouses. "
Jeremy's bluntness made Mark swallow hard, the familiar weight of shame pressing down on him. "I know. It's inexcusable."
Jeremy let the silence stretch a moment, then said, "Tell me how you and Tessa met."
Mark rubbed his palms against his jeans, trying to order the years in his mind.
"We grew up knowing each other—small town, same school.
I had this crush on her in middle school, but she barely noticed me.
She was smart, always focused on grades, academic clubs.
A lot of guys liked her, but she wasn't interested in dating.
" A small smile tugged at his mouth. "I thought I didn't have a chance. "
Jeremy leaned in slightly. "But something changed."
"Yeah. Junior year." Mark's face softened.
"I finally worked up the nerve to ask her out, and I couldn't believe it when she said yes.
After that, we were inseparable. And then when she got pregnant, everything sped up faster than we planned, but.
.. at the time, I didn't care. Being with her made me feel like the luckiest man alive. "
Jeremy frowned thoughtfully, "That doesn't sound like a man who would seek something out side of his marriage."
Mark pressed his elbows into his knees, staring at the floor.
"No, but by the time I started talking to Kate, getting closer to her, I was feeling trapped and restless in my marriage.
It colored, poisoned, how I looked at my whole married life-- as if I had always been this overburdened husband and father with a never-ending series of obligations, and I told myself that Tessa and I didn't connect on the same level. "
Jeremy was silent, his eyes urging Mark to go on.
He shook his head, his voice roughening.
"But now I know that none of that was true.
Memories keep surfacing—great ones. Tessa and I taking the kids to the park, family game nights, even just laughing over silly little things.
Tessa and I talking for hours about everything, connecting on a deep level.
The births of our children, holding them for the first time.
Hundreds of moments I pushed down or forgot in these last months.
It's like I had buried them under the resentment, and now they're rising back to the surface. "
Jeremy nodded, then spoke with quiet conviction, "Resentment is like a seed. At first, it's small, almost unnoticeable, but if you let it take root, it begins to spread. It winds its way through everything—choking out joy, twisting your perspective, until all you can see is what you don't have."
He let out a slow breath. "Exactly. I twisted things in my head.
I convinced myself I was trapped, unappreciated, that our marriage had never really been what I thought it was.
It was easier to live in that lie than to face the truth of what I was doing.
" He let out a brief laugh, shaking his head, "I even tried to tell myself that Tessa and I both deserved a new start, that this wouldn't destroy her. "
Jeremy leaned forward slightly, his tone measured. "It sounds like you are telling me that despite obstacles and obligations, you and Tessa were happy together--that you had a fulfilling marriage. So, if that was true, when did the resentment start?
Mark's shoulders sagged. "I don't know..
. for months before I even met Kate, I'd been restless, discontented, chafing under my responsibilities.
I stopped seeing Tessa for who she really was and instead saw her as a reminder of how life had tied me down.
By the time Kate and I started working together, I had already let the resentment take root and spread.
It wrapped itself around me until it choked the joy out of my marriage and left me capable of doing the unthinkable. "
He straightened suddenly, as if the thought had just snapped into focus.
"Wait—I know exactly when the seed was planted.
" He paused for a moment, remembering, "It was years ago, and I wasn't even aware of it at the time.
But it lay dormant, hidden beneath the surface, waiting for the right conditions. And I know exactly when it sprouted."
As Mark entered the hotel banquet hall, the air buzzed with sounds of laughter and the pungent odors of smoke, beer and cologne.
He had not really wanted to attend the reunion--he had lost touch with most of his friends from high school as their lives had taken divergent paths.
He was not one for social media, his days consumed with work and family with little time left for scrolling for updates.
But Tessa had urged him. "Go have fun! You deserve a night out—it'll be good to catch up with everyone."
At first it felt strange, until a familiar voice called out, "No way, man—it's been forever!" In an instant, his old buddies closed in, older, some balding, but still slapping backs and trading jokes like they were seventeen again.
Then the lights dimmed and the wall lit up with faces he knew all too well—his friends, just a year out of high school, grinning, sunburned, alive.
Mark's stomach dropped. This was the trip—the one they had dreamed about, saving every spare dollar from summer jobs and goofy fundraisers.
Tessa hadn't been able to go, but she'd encouraged him, excited for him to have one last adventure before adulthood set in.
And then came the positive pregnancy test, and in an instant, the money he'd saved for hostels and train tickets was redirected to rent deposits, furniture, and the beginnings of married life. The trip was over before it had ever begun.
He forced himself to watch. Snapshots flashed in quick succession: the guys lined at the edge of a cliff before leaping into deep blue water; weaving through the streets of Rome on Vespa scooters; posing at the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Then came shots from Germany--steins of beer hoisted high, arms slung over each other's shoulders inside a packed Oktoberfest tent.
Laughter rolled through the hall while his gut churned.
The pictures kept flickering, one adventure after another, pressing sharp against something he thought long buried.
While they had been plunging into oceans and chasing nights across foreign cities, he had been signing leases, stocking refrigerators, tightening screws on a wobbly table, working late shifts to pay for diapers.
The choice he'd made, the life he'd built—suddenly it felt like a weight he could not ignore.
And in the silence beneath the noise, something buried, something small and poisonous took root.