Chapter 5
“Did you take in a single word I said to you?”
Heat rushed to my cheeks as I turned to find Zara standing at the nurse’s station with an expression that would have struck fear into every woman, man, and child alive.
Stupidly, I thought that with her now being in charge, she’d be too busy to make unnecessary trips down to the emergency department. That somehow, with the responsibility of running an entire hospital, she’d no longer have time to constantly watch over me.
How wrong I’d been.
It had been five days since her ascension, and the entire hospital was calling it the Lorenzo Era because, goddamn, she was making sure, with every new change, every new policy and procedure, that the board didn’t dare consider anyone else for the permanent position.
“Dr. Lorenzo,” I forced a smile, “I didn’t realize you were working tonight.”
“Ferrington called out sick.”
“Well, truthfully, I didn’t think I needed Ferrington down here with me tonight anyway.”
“Is that so?”
“Pretty sure I can manage to keep everything under control.” I turned back to my chart. “You don’t have to stay. I can always page you if I need help.”
“You didn’t answer my previous question.”
Pressure gathered behind my eyes, my temples pulsing as I scribbled my signature on the chart.
It was the start of my fourth night shift in a row. Technically, it was my fourth twenty-hour shift in a row, and fifth day since I’d seen the outside of the hospital.
Between ninety-minute power naps and an unhealthy amount of caffeine, I was on target to beating my previous record of eight nights living in the hospital.
Was it healthy? Fuck no.
Was it necessary? Regrettably, yes.
It didn’t matter how much my back was screaming at me to sleep in a proper bed, or the dark purple bags becoming a new feature beneath my eyes as they begged me for a full night’s sleep, or how the Xanax I swore to stop taking was barely smoothing out the edges of the sharp claws of my anxiety.
Staying busy, remaining focused on the job at hand, and limiting myself to the hospital walls prevented any other problems from becoming an issue.
“Elliott,” Zara’s voice sliced through me. “Did you or did you listen to what I said to you five days ago?”
I remained silent, my jaw muscles kicking into overdrive.
“Dr. Dade—”
“What part are we talking about, huh? The part where you told me I wasn’t fit to be an attending? Because don’t worry, I heard you loud and clear.”
The words leaked out of me like a dam bursting.
Silence took full force around the nurse’s station as the very air between us turned bitterly cold.
Well fucking done, Elliott. That’s one way to suck up to the boss and show her that I’m right for the job. Dickhead!
“Listen, I understand your anger is because you are clearly overworked and still in a state of grief,” she said flatly. “So, consider yourself lucky that I am going to let that one slide.”
I swallowed the scoff bubbling in my throat. Angry didn’t even cut it. It wasn’t the fact that she had gone against Adam’s wishes, his plans for the hospital and the staff, but she was now the immovable obstacle in my way from fixing my biggest mistake.
That job was going to help me make things right again.
It was going to take the weight of the secret I was hiding from my eldest brother, Frederic, off my chest and allow me a chance to breathe again.
“But I meant what I said before, Elliott, you are clocking too many hours,” Zara continued. “You’re breaching over eighty hours in one week.”
“Do you keep an eye on every doctor’s hours, or is that privilege reserved for me?”
“It’s part of my job, and it’s also part of my job to ensure I don’t have sleep-deprived and on the verge of burning out doctors roaming around trying to practice medicine.”
“I’m fine,” I said tightly. “I know my own limits.”
Zara arched a sculpted brow. “Do you? Because looking at you right now, you look like warmed-up shit. A mistake waiting to happen.”
Trust me, I’ve looked worse.
“Tired, strung-out doctors make mistakes. Mistakes that can cost lives.” Zara adjusted the stethoscope around her neck. “You will clock out immediately and go home.”
“Dr. Lorenzo, I am perfectly capable—”
“Remove yourself from my emergency department, or I will have security escort you from the building.”
The veins in my temple were going to explode as I watched her walk toward the patient sitting in bed five.
Didn’t she realize I was the furthest thing from a danger for patients, sleep or no sleep?
Didn’t she see that I was perfectly capable of handling myself?
Couldn’t she understand that working was the only thing holding me together?
Before I got the chance to clock off and swallow half a bottle of Xanax, Minnie came running toward me.
Thankfully, my sunshine intern forgave me instantly for my previous outburst and was back to trying to surgically attach herself to my hip.
“Dr. Dade!” Minnie said frantically. “Bed six! The patient in bed six can’t breathe! I think she’s crashing!”
Adrenaline took total control, rushing through my veins and offering me the sort of high that I clung to like a lifeline.
The woman lying in bed six struggled to get a breath. Sweat clung to her brow, her chest rising and falling rapidly as her deep brown eyes screamed panic.
This woman wasn’t crashing, but she sure as hell was falling apart before me.
Without a second thought, I grabbed the oxygen mask and placed it around her nose. “Try and focus on your breathing. I know that feels impossible right now, but I need you to try for me.”
Her hands gripped the white bedsheets as I took her wrist and checked her pulse.
Dark brunette curls clung to her sweat-soaked throat as she grabbed my hand on her wrist. “I’m pretty sure I am having a heart attack.”
The image of Adam’s lifeless body lying on the floor flashed before my very eyes before I could stop it; the memory of his pulseless wrist echoed on my fingertips.
Blinking it away, I asked, “Are you on any medication we should know about?”
“I only take the pill. Oh my god, am I dying?”
“All I need you to do is focus on your breathing. In through your nose for four seconds, hold it for seven, and then I want you to exhale through your mouth.”
“Oh Dios, sálvame. I’m too young to die.”
“Hey, look at me,” I said softly. “You’re safe, we’re going to look after you and make sure you’re okay. And you’re not dying.”
“You promise?”
Squeezing her wrist, I nodded. “You’re doing so well right now,” I praised. “Any previous heart conditions?”
She quickly shook her head.
“Good. Now big inhales and exhales for me like I said before. Focus on it and only it, nothing else matters right now. Can you do that for me?”
Tears welled in her eyes as she tried to swallow a deep breath.
“Minnie is going to take some blood and use a portable chest X-ray; it’s nothing to be worried about. Simple precaution, but I want you to ignore all of that. Your job is to focus on your breathing.”
“I don’t want to die.”
“You’re not going to die,” I assured her gently. “Hey, hey, look at me. Keep your eyes on me and repeat how I am breathing.”
I remained at her side, letting her intertwine my fingers with her own as she ignored the intern poking and prodding at her. Instead, two of the most serine eyes stared into mine, beckoning me like a moth to a flame to get lost in them as she copied and tried to match my steady breaths.
After Minnie showed me the results of the portable X-ray, I sent her off with the bloods to the labs to ensure they matched the scan results.
Sitting in silence, I watched the patient’s breathing start to normalize, her pulse thankfully dropping to a healthier beat before I had to resort to administering something to calm her down.
Being this close to her, I failed horribly not to notice how wildly beautiful she was.
Thick dark curls that looked softer than silk.
Eyes that at first glance were brown, but the more I looked into them, turned out to be flecked with strands that shone gold against the piercing hospital lights.
A dusting of freckles along her thin nose.
Full lips that demanded to be kissed, to be ravaged until she was left breathless.
Unprofessional much?
“Is there someone I can call for you?” I asked. “Someone who can come and be with you? Husband? Boyfriend?”
“Pretty sure imaginary ones don’t have phones.”
“What?”
Pink tinged her cheeks as she mumbled, “Nothing, never mind.”
“Okay, what about parents? Want me to give your mother or father a call?”
“My mother hightailed it back to her country club as soon as the paramedics packed me into the ambulance.” Her nails bit into my skin. “Ringing her would only be a waste of your time. I am perfectly fine on my own.”
“Right. Well, while we wait on your blood results, let me grab your chart and ask you a couple of questions.”
Her brows came together when I didn’t move. My gaze dropped to the hand she was holding prisoner in her own, her nails leaving behind small crescent-moon indents in my skin.
“Whenever you’re ready, of course.”
Her flushed cheeks turned scarlet red as she quickly pulled her hand away. “Fuck my life.”
I bit back my chuckle.
Walking to the end of the bed, I grabbed her chart. “So, Miss Garcia, have you ever had an episode like this before?”
“Never. It came on suddenly while I was at work. One second I was fine, and then the next, bam! It felt like my heart was trying to escape from my chest.”
“What do you do for a living?”
“I run my own event organizing business.”
“Would you describe your job as stressful?”
“Oh boy, yes,” she said, “but in a good way, if that makes sense? I sort of thrive off the stress, the chaos of trying to meet deadlines and keeping my clients happy. It’s good stress, and nothing I’ve never been able to handle before.”
“Stress isn’t always a bad thing,” I noted a couple things on the chart. “What about your life outside work?”
Her nose twitched. “What about it?”
“Has anything in your personal life been going on that could’ve triggered this kind of stress?”
Her full lips pressed together into a thin line.