Chapter 28
I spent my last day in Monaco avoiding Elliott like my life depended on it.
It didn’t matter that I had a whole day planned, including a visit to a local Sunday food market followed by an afternoon at the National Museum, not to mention the list of independent bookstores in my travel binder.
Because I couldn’t risk being alone with him.
We’d been so close—too close to breaking my rule of celibacy last night.
So, instead, I faked a migraine and spent my last day in the sunny paradise hiding beneath the duvet in the bedroom.
Look, I was fully aware that it was a real freaking low point, especially when Florence kept appearing with cups of tea and plates of freshly baked goods.
I hated lying to her.
I hated lying to Elliott even more.
After putting on a Golden Globe-worthy performance, acting like my head was close to exploding, Elliott gave me space and offered to sleep in another bedroom.
That was, of course, after he checked my vitals.
His fingers on my neck, checking my pulse, transported me straight back to the night before. My core ached from the lack of release, and every time I thought about his stiff cock rubbing against me, my underwear was soaked once again.
Seriously, it was impossible to think straight. Rational thought barely hung on by a thread, with the voice of reason growing smaller the longer Elliott touched me.
Why didn’t I pack my vibrator?
Once Elliott deemed I was in fact not on death’s door, he left me alone for the rest of the trip. Disappointment coated my tongue when he didn’t try to find a reason to spend time with me.
Then again, that’s what I wanted, right?
By the time we were on the plane, heading back to New York, the dull ache between my legs was unbearable.
During the drive back to my apartment, neither of us spoke about what happened during our trip. Not a single mention about what Elliott confessed to me, nor a whisper about the fact that we nearly crossed a line.
And as much as my body disagreed with me, I knew we did the right thing by stopping.
It had been too long since I had sex, and if it hadn’t been for my vibrator that I’d unashamedly named Dean Winchester, I’d be worried that my virginity might have grown back.
But that didn’t matter.
Because I knew that if I’d slept with Elliott, I’d be screwed—and not in the good, toe-curling, mind-blowing, unable to walk straight for a week good way screwed.
I liked Elliott.
Okay, maybe I more than liked him, more than I would ever allow myself to consider.
And that scared the shit out of me.
I made a promise to myself to never be in the position of being hurt by someone like before.
Rule number one and the most important rule of all: never, and I mean NEVER, let a man break my heart by falling in love again.
Kissing Elliott made me feel things I swore to never feel again.
So, I couldn’t risk doing anything more, no matter how much my body craved him.
And although I knew sex could just be sex, when it came to Elliott, I feared my heart and my vagina were interconnected.
After napping for a couple of hours in my empty apartment, courtesy of Khloe being away at work for three weeks, I headed straight to work, still jet-lagged.
To combat the tiredness, I stopped at my favorite coffee shop for a vanilla latte with a triple shot of espresso.
I had a feeling I was going to need all the caffeine I could get.
No doubt there would be a million and one messages waiting for me from Ursula alone.
The lack of phone service during the weekend was both a blessing and a curse.
I arrived before Kelley, a rarity, and went straight to my office. Lo and behold, a stack of sticky notes sat neatly beside my computer.
Call Ursula ASAP.
Your she-demon of a mother rang about taking on a new client.
Ursula called…again.
Flower choices are back from your sister. She says call her ASAP.
Oh, look, another call from Ursula. Shocker.
And those weren’t even a quarter of the notes.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I ignored the notes and grabbed a new binder from the stack beneath my desk before starting up my laptop.
The issues beside me could wait.
Right now, I wanted to do what I said I’d do back in Monaco. I wasn’t lying to Elliott when I said I wanted to help him.
The fact that he opened up and shared his deepest and darkest secrets with me wasn’t something I took lightly.
Seeing him vulnerable like that, the tears breaking free behind his glasses, the weight of carrying it all by himself for so long, it tore me apart. All I wanted to do in that moment was to hold him and make it all disappear.
And that’s exactly what I planned to do.
Grabbing a pen, I set to work reading up on everything I found about battling and understanding the mind of someone who struggled with both anxiety and addictive urges.
Sure, I, too, had my own issues with anxiety, but every time I thought about my panic attacks, all I could remember was Elliott beside me.
He helped me.
He always showed up for me when I needed him.
It was about time I did the same for him.
Hours flew past me and I was so lost in finding therapists, learning ways to identify triggers, and how to support people struggling like Elliott, that I didn’t notice I was no longer alone until someone cleared their throat.
My pen flew into the air as I let out a small shriek.
Snapping my attention to the person clearly trying to send me into cardiac arrest, my stomach lurched into my throat.
“Hi, Liv.” Daniel stood in the doorway with a smile that turned my stomach. “Really have to stop making it a habit of scaring you like that.”
Did the universe get some sick kick out of fucking with me?
“You could always do the normal thing, and you know, knock the door. It was closed for a reason.”
“And miss hearing you scream?” His eyes darkened. “Where’s the fun in that?”
“What are you doing here, Daniel?”
“Maya sent me, told me to give you this.” He sauntered toward me. “She also asked me to remind you that as her Maid of Honour you have to attend.”
He placed a letter from Hayley Liang’s dance studio on my desk and slid it toward me slowly. I drew my hand back before his fingers brushed mine.
The bastard had the nerve to chuckle.
“Right, I’ll add it to my calendar.” I drew my shoulders back. “You can leave now.”
Pulling the chair in front of my desk out, he took a seat without permission. “I was hoping, while I’m here, we could have a chat.”
“Firstly, you can see I am at work right now, right? So you know, I don’t have time to talk to you.” I raised a finger, then another. “Secondly, I’d rather squat bare assed on a fucking cactus than spend another minute of my time talking to you.”
A vein popped to the surface on his neck.
“Don’t forget to close the door behind you on the way out.”
“Since when did you become such a bitch?”
“Oh, you poor thing, if you think this is me being a bitch right now, just you wait until I get truly started.” I offered him a lifeless smile. “Then again, why waste perfectly good oxygen on someone like you?”
“What the fuck, Liv?”
“Oh, have I upset you? Good, now leave.”
“You’ve never spoken to me like that before.”
“Want a bit of friendly advice? If I were you, I’d get used to it. Because whatever little head games you think you’re playing with me by telling me you miss me, or whatever other bullshit you want to throw my way, it ends now.”
“Someone needs to put your muzzle back in place, you—”
“Whoa, there, partner.” Elliott’s frame filled the doorway, his arm muscles flexing in a downright pornographic way as he glared at Daniel. “Now if I was you, I’d think twice about finishing that sentence.”
Daniel scoffed.
“Or be my guest and disrespect my girlfriend in front of me. But trust me when I say it’ll be the last fucking thing you ever do.
” Behind his glasses, violence burned to life.
“Remember, I have all the tools and knowledge not only to make your death as painful as possible, but I’ll make it look like an accident too. ”
I couldn’t help but relish in the way my ex squirmed from Elliott’s gaze alone.
As much as it turned me—yes, I’m aware I may have a problem— thinking about Elliott beating the shit out of Daniel, I knew the consequences unfortunately outweighed the benefits.
Maybe one punch wouldn’t hurt?
“Well, will you look at that, you’re first smart decision.” Elliott smirked. “You ready to get out of here, Peaches?”
And go where?
The hell I knew, nor did I care. Anywhere, and I meant anywhere with Elliott, was a billion and one times better than being near Daniel.
And it wasn’t because I felt pain or sadness when I was around my ex.
In fact, sitting opposite him today, I truly felt nothing for him. Nada. Zilch. Completely fucking void of emotion.
But with Elliott? Well, fucking damn….
Grabbing my lemon knitted cardigan, I rounded my desk and took Elliott’s outstretched hand. “Ready when you are, baby.”
That smile alone on Elliott’s face as we walked hand-in-hand out of the building had me questioning every rule I still clung to.
“There’s no freaking way I can do it!”
“Are you doubting your own skills?”
Shaking my head, I laughed. “Of course not, I know I’m amazing.”
“Only one way to prove it and win your pink horse, Peaches.”
“It’s a unicorn,” I corrected, “and everyone knows these things are rigged.”
Elliott wiggled his brows, his lips curling into a boyish grin. “That sounds awfully like a challenge.”
Lifting the plastic hoop, I tossed it into the air straight for the merry-go-round of brightly colored toy ducks.
Surprise, surprise, the hoop fell off.
“Do you want me to say, I told you so now, or will we wait until I’ve thrown the other two hoops?” I toyed.
Of all the places to go, Elliott took us to Coney Island’s amusement park.
I’d lived in New York all my life, and like I told Elliott, the furthest I’d travelled was to Montreal for an ice hockey game that Mal forced both Khloe and me to go to. All my years living in the city, I had never been to this amusement park.
It was exactly the sort of place my mother avoided. It didn’t matter that she had two small children, who would have adored a day here. A place like this isn’t where those in her circle spent their time.
As an adult, between a busy work schedule and having an ex-boyfriend who only wanted to show me off when I was two sizes smaller, I guess I never had a reason to come.
Until now.
Taking my final plastic hoop, I launched it at the evil quacking plastic bastards and missed again.
“Told you so,” I smirked. “Now, can we go and get some hot dogs?”
Not waiting for an answer, I skipped over to the hotdog cart, my appetite roaring to life at the smell of fried food and mustard.
Right as the vendor handed me the food, Elliott appeared with something fluffy between his hands.
“No freaking way!” My eyes went wide. “Is that what I think it is?”
“You said you thought it was cute.” He took one of the hot dogs from me and replaced it with a bright pink and silver unicorn.
“How did you manage to win it? Because I refuse to admit those things aren’t rigged.”
“Paid the guy twenty bucks,” he smiled as he took a bite of his hot dog. “Couldn’t let you go home empty-handed from our date.”
Date.
This was a date.
Staring down at the stuffed animal, I struggled to find the right words. This man, this incredible, thoughtful, and generous man, got me a stuffed unicorn on our date.
My stomach backflipped.
Look, I know it wasn’t diamonds or whatever. In fact, it was a million times better. Honestly, Elliott could have handed me anything and it’d make my heart skip a beat.
If you looked close enough, there were probably damn hearts in my eyes.
I think I might be in trouble.
“I’m going to call him Mr. Sparkles,” I finally managed to speak. “A fitting name for such a cute boy, don’t you think?”
“Mr. Sparkles?”
“Yes, Mr. Sparkles. A special name for a special unicorn, and this special unicorn will have the privilege of sleeping in my bed,” I smirked up at Elliott. “He is my new bedtime buddy.”
“Lucky bear.” Pink highlighted his cheeks. “Well, I wanted to thank you, for you know everything in Monaco.”
My body stiffened, the memory of his lips on mine thrummed through my veins.
“Telling you the truth,” he continued, “it feels like a ton of weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It meant more than words can express to me.”
The breath in my chest loosened. “All I did was listen, Elliott.”
“You didn’t run away.”
Pain speared through my ribcage. That’s why Cassandra left him. He’d told her the truth and she walked away.
She turned her back on him when he needed someone.
She didn’t deserve him.
If she couldn’t see the good within Elliott’s heart, that was her fucking loss.
“What did Cowboy-Dan want by the way?”
Well, that was one way to come crashing back down to reality.
Dios, I hated talking about him. Daniel had taken up so much of my life, my heart, my fucking head that I didn’t want to do it anymore.
Especially when I was with Elliott.
“Wedding stuff.” I took a bite of my hot dog. “There are dancing lessons, and Maya sent him to remind me that I have to go. Maid of Honour duties and all that bullshit, hurray for me.”
The corner of his left eye twitched.
“It’ll be fine, Mal says he’ll go with me. That way, I don’t have to deal with the soon-to-be newlyweds all by myself.”
Elliott’s shoulders tried to fuse with his neck. “You’re bringing Mal to dance with you?”
Oh, was that jealousy I saw?
Biting my bottom lip did nothing to suppress my grin. “Is that a problem?”
“Do you not think it’s weird that you’re taking another man and not your supposed boyfriend?”
I feigned being oblivious. “Do you? I mean it’s only dancing…”
“What kind of dancing are we talking about?”
“The usual. Slow and intimate, I imagine.”
“Taking him with you might raise a question or two, especially if there is a lot of you know touching with the dancing.” Ha! He was jealous. “What about Khloe? Can’t she go with you instead?”
“As much as the whole alphahole thing you have going on is hot—”
“Alpha-what?”
“The only reason I’m taking him, and not you, is because you’re working,” I laughed, nudging my shoulder against his arm. “Mal is one of my best friends, and there is no need to get worked up and jealous—”
“I’m not jealous.”
“Whatever you say,” I taunted, “but just so you know, Mal is like the annoying younger brother I never had.”
His body relaxed a little.
“Okay, now, no more wedding talk for the rest of our date.” I wolfed down the rest of my hot dog.
Elliott’s face lit up. “Deal. What do you want to do next?”
I pointed to the large wooden rollercoaster. “We’re going on that.”
“That?!” Color leeched from his face. “That looks older than time itself.”
“Hell yeah, it does! It’s going to be so much fun!” I grinned. “If I promise to hold your hand the whole time, will you go on it with me?”
Swallowing hard, he nodded. “If we don’t survive this, know that I am finding you in the afterlife and making you pay.”
“You got yourself a deal.”
Surviving the rollercoaster would be easy.
Surviving my no longer deniable feelings for Elliott, that I wasn’t so sure about.