Chapter 32
The wedding deadline loomed, with only four more weeks to go.
Thankfully, there was nothing left to organize. All I had to do now was attend the thing. Wear the pretty dress, make awkward small talk with people that made me want to swallow a hot poker—it would be less uncomfortable, trust me—and of course, plaster on a smile for the happy couple.
Although the ache that once sat in my heart whenever I thought about my sister walking down the aisle to my ex-boyfriend no longer existed.
Instead, I felt sorry for my sister.
She was marrying a man who’d proven he had no qualms about cheating on the person he supposedly loved.
Perhaps it was harsh to think ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’, but given Daniel’s behavior the past couple of months, who could blame me?
Between his sudden declarations of missing me, his blatant jealousy, and that bullshit he pulled with the dance lessons, I didn’t hold out hope that he wouldn’t someday shatter Maya’s heart, too.
Did she deserve it after what she did to me? No. Because I truly didn’t wish that kind of brutal heartbreak on my worst enemy.
Hey, look at me! That’s some freaking growth right there; I deserve a good star!
Truly though. Not to blow my own trumpet, but not too long ago, my answer would’ve been a hell of a lot different.
It had taken over a year, but my heart had finally caught up with my head.
And it didn’t take a genius to figure out why.
To think I’d committed myself to a life of solitude, bitterly tucking my tattered heart away and swearing to never trust anyone with it again.
Then along came Dr. Delicious, who made me question every one of my rules.
Whether I liked it or not, I cared immensely for him.
Care? C’mon, be honest.
Okay, fine. I was falling for him, and fuck, it scared the living shit out of me.
Even though I knew Elliott would never take my love and destroy it cruelly, it still didn’t stop that little whisper of doubt. The little voice like poison pumping through my veins, reminding me exactly what happened last time.
As much as I tried to block it out, it remained slithering in the back of my mind.
I wanted to trust Elliott—I knew I could trust him.
But what if I was wrong?
Honestly, I wasn’t strong enough to go through that all over again.
A blaring ringtone made me jump and drop the book I’d been trying to read for the last hour.
Diving between my sofa pillows, I tried to find my phone, all the while not-so-secretly hoping it was Elliott.
After our night together, I may or may not have suggested he stay over more often. I mean, after the way he fucked me, who wouldn’t want him in their bed?
Over the last two weeks, he stayed over a handful of times between his shifts. Every time he showed up at my door, dinner in hand and a smile on his face, I practically climbed him like a freaking six-foot-two tree.
A gal certainly could get used to coming home to him.
Finding my phone, the butterflies that fluttered thinking about Elliott died a painful and sudden death. My stomach dropped, my chest tightening as Meadowlands lit up my screen.
It’s true what they say, when one part of your life finally pieces together, the real world creeps along and snatches the rug out from under you, sending you flat onto your ass from cloud nine.
“Nicholas Hamilton, the staff at his care facility, said he arrived here a couple hours ago.” I chewed on the corner of my lip until blood seasoned my tongue. “They told me he was still waiting to be admitted. He should be here.”
The emergency department receptionist tapped on her keyboard. “Ah, yes, I can see him on the system now.”
“Where is he? Can I go and see him?”
“Are you a blood relation to Mr. Hamilton?”
“He’s my dad.”
Whenever Meadowlands called, I prepared for the worst. I convinced myself they were calling to inform me that Nicholas died.
My breakfast made an ugly reappearance in my toilet bowl when they urged me to head straight to Pinevale Hospital.
The doctors were vague on the phone, leading me to believe this was the end.
“Livi?”
Oh, gracias a Dios.
Like a knight in shining armor always at the ready to save me, Elliott rounded the receptionist’s desk.
A streak of panicked concern flashed across his face. “What’s going on? Are you hurt?”
The breath in my chest tightened, my bottom lip wobbling.
He reached for me, one hand cupping my cheek while his eyes darted rapidly searching for an injury. “Talk to me. What’s happened?”
Crumpling into him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face into his hard chest.
“Peaches, you’re starting to scare me.” He stroked the back of my head. “I need you to tell me what’s going on. Tell me how to help you.”
How could one man be this selfless, this perfect, and always there for me without question?
“It’s my dad,” I managed to say. “They told me to get over here as quickly as possible.”
The receptionist who watched us as subtly as a grenade in church slid a chart toward Elliott.
“Let’s go.” In one hand, he took mine, and in the other, he grabbed the chart. “Looks like he is in bay one while we wait on the admissions team getting him a space up on sixth.”
“He’s not…” Dead.
The final word failed me as if simply saying it might have manifested it into existence.
Elliott guided me through the emergency department and into the bay near the ambulance entrance. Pulling back the curtain, if Elliott hadn’t been holding onto me, my knees would have met the ground.
Nicholas, my dad, sat upright and wide awake in the hospital bed. He looked gaunt, then again being in a coma for eight weeks would do that to anyone.
“Look who’s here,” Delia, perched at the bottom of the bed, beamed. “How wonderful! Livi’s come to see you, Nicholas.”
Confusion laced his brow. He studied me, eyes bouncing across my face, trying to piece me together like a jigsaw he once completed.
Unable to breathe, I remained frozen and tightened my grip on Elliott’s hand, my nails biting into his skin as I silently begged for Nicholas to recognize me.
You know me.
I’m your daughter.
Please know me.
Please…
“I know you,” Nicholas said after what felt like an eternity. “Of course I know you, did you think I’d forget?”
Hope sparked to life between my ribs.
“You’re my lovely nurse, aren’t you? The one who sits in the garden with me.” He grinned triumphantly. “Any sign of that rain yet?”
My chest cracked in two.
Sinking my teeth into the soft inner of my cheek, I focused on the physical pain and not on the prickle of tears burning my eyes.
“Why don’t I take Livi here for a cup of coffee, while the doctor does his check-up?” Delia stood and came to my side.
Nicholas waved Elliott away. “I don’t need no doctor.”
“He can help,” I said quietly.
“Waste of time being here,” Nicholas ranted. “I told you already, it’s my allergies.”
“And you’re probably right, Mr. Hamilton,” Elliott interjected gently. “Those allergies can be a damn nightmare to deal with.”
Eyeing Elliott suspiciously, Nicholas seemed oblivious to our hands being practically fused as he crossed his arms.
“But while you’re here, why don’t we take a few minutes to check you over?” A soft smile curved Elliott’s mouth. “Not because you need it, but to give your wonderful nurse here a peace of mind.”
Don’t cry.
Blinking furiously, my thumb ran across Elliott’s knuckles.
“It won’t take long, I promise,” Elliott assured. “If not for yourself, for her sake.”
Exhaling dramatically, my father threw his arms up in defeat. “Fine, but make it quick. The flowers need watering and no one else in that place is going to do it while I’m not there.”
Elliott let go of my hand. “I’ll be done in no time, Mr. Hamilton. Now, why don’t we start by taking your blood pressure?”
I waited until Delia and I were at the visitor’s coffee machine before I let the tears fall.
They came quickly and relentlessly.
I have no idea how long I stood there, the tears refusing to give me a freaking break.
Delia hugged me, letting me sob silently on her shoulder and ruining her blouse with my running mascara, yet she didn’t budge.
That was until she guided me into another pair of arms.
Strong, protective arms that resembled something close to home. His scent, the one that lingered on my pillows, filled my lungs and made it easier to breathe instantly.
“Ward staff are coming down in an hour to transfer him,” Elliott said. “His vitals are okay, all things considered. However, best to keep him in and try to figure out what caused the seizures.”
Clinging onto Elliott, I buried my mascara-tear-streaked face into him. “I should be happy. I should be jumping for joy that he’s awake, right?”
“We both know it’s not that simple. I think whatever you’re feeling is completely valid.”
“It’s like I forgot,” I whispered. “While he was in the coma, every time I visited him, it made it easier to forget that he doesn’t remember me.”
“When did his Dementia start?”
“About a year after I found him. It started small, minor things slipping through the gaps, and then in a blink…”
It all vanished.
I tried to remember the last time he knew me, the memory already starting to fade around the edges. Willing myself to feel it again, to grab onto the receding memory of his warm hugs and the light dancing in his eyes as we clawed back the relationship that was stolen from us.
But time, the cruel bastard it was, kept stealing it away from me.
“I’m so sorry,” Elliott exhaled softly. “Dementia is a fate no one deserves.”
“Each time I see him, each time he thinks I am his nurse, it’s like I’m losing him over and over, you know?
He kissed the top of my head. “I wish there was something I could do, something to ease this burden from you.”
“Can I go back and see him before he’s admitted?”
“Of course you can. I need to check on a few more patients, but I’ll pop in when I can, okay?”
I nodded weakly, not quite ready to let go of him.
“Also, I’ve added you to his visitor list on the ward. There are visiting hours, but I’ve added a note that states you can visit anytime you want.”
“What would I do without you?”
“You and I both know you’d manage perfectly well without me.”
But I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to be without him.
“No, seriously.” I sighed slowly, collecting myself. “Whatever I did in a past life to deserve someone like you in my life, it must have been downright heroic.”
He chuckled lightly. “If you say so, Peaches.”
Back in the bay, Nicholas remained sitting upright, his face set hard as he glared at Delia. No doubt blaming her for his hospital visit.
“Good, you’re back.” Nicholas’ eyes softened for me. “Can you tell Darcy here that I don’t need her to babysit me and to go and do her job?”
Delia held her hands up. “Fine, I’m going to go and make a few calls.”
Mouthing ‘sorry’ to her as she passed, I took her seat at the end of the hospital bed.
“Where’s that doctor of yours?”
I slipped on a practiced smile. “He’s checking on a few patients, said he will come back and check in on you shortly.”
“Not me he will be checking on.”
“Oh, and what exactly does that mean?”
“He’ll be coming here looking in on you, not me,” he mused. “That boy looks at you like you’ve hung the moon and the stars in the sky.”
“That’s not true. I think you’re seeing things.”
“Nope. Saw it with my own two peepers. The way he looks at you, it’s like he’s gosh darn in love with you.”
I opened my mouth only to close it.
In love with you.
Rendered speechless, I was unable to do anything except stare at my dad like a brainless goldfish.
“I hope you’re brave enough to love him back, young lady,” Nicholas continued. “Otherwise, you’re about to break that poor man’s heart.”
Thing was, when it came to Elliott, I hoped I was brave enough too.