Chapter 18
ARIANA
Iwas still seething, days later, as we made way through the Lysian lands. Fury held me in its clawed grip, a relentless force fueled by the knowledge that I left my people vulnerable to death with every farming party that dared to venture out of the city walls.
Edda wisely gave me space, though she found entertainment during her time riding with Kole. It surprised me he had managed not to rip her head from her shoulders with how effective she was at making his blood boil.
Erik kept his words to a minimum for days until we approached his city. His horse further slowed its pace.
“I’m sorry that your trip home has left you in a dark mood,” he said finally, his voice low and gentle.
It was the first genuine attempt at conversation since we began our journey back.
I glanced briefly at Edda and Kole, who were pretending not to hear, though their bickering had abruptly ceased, a telltale sign that they were listening.
I considered not responding, but the words spilled out anyway. “It wasn’t the trip itself. It was the increased risk my people are now facing because of Edda’s wise idea and your agreement with it. That’s what soured my mood.”
He exhaled heavily, his breath brushing against my cheek. “If there was a better way, then I would have taken it.”
There was a better way. His response only grated on my nerves. I clenched my jaw, gritting my teeth to avoid speaking without considering my words carefully.
“Do you think I’m working with the Sidhe?” I asked, my tone sharp.
Erik paused before saying, “I do not know.”
I stared at the horse’s ears in front of me, refusing to turn and look at Erik. “That is not what I asked. You very well may never truly know the answer, given your inclination to mistrust. I did not ask what you could prove, but what do you think? What way do you lean?”
“No, I don’t think you are,” he admitted, the surprise evident in his tone.
“Then you have a better way,” I said bitterly.
“Ariana, I—”
“I understand that I’m your prisoner here, with zero power,” I interrupted, frustration bubbling within me. “But if you have any shred of kindness in your heart, could you please just leave me alone? Before I lose what sliver of sanity I still cling to?”
Erik’s hands tightened around the reins, and the horse picked up the pace. He did not say another thing as we approached the stables.
Once we got there, Erik immediately dismounted and left without a word to any of us.
“Help me down,” Edda commanded, and Kole cringed, though he held out his hand to her. He unfastened his fingers from hers as soon as her feet touched the earth. It was as if he could hardly bear to touch her.
“You will stay in a room on the same hall as Ariana’s,” Kole informed her as he began guiding us to our rooms while others took our horses.
“And where do you stay, Lysian?” Edda asked with an arched silver brow.
“Wherever I am needed,” he grumbled in response.
“Which is?” she probed.
I sighed, feeling a headache coming on. “He practically lives where I do. Probably sleeps in a chair outside my room,” I answered, feeling a surge of irritation toward Edda’s persistent pestering. “Now, leave him alone. I’m sure he’s tired of your incessant questions.”
Edda bristled but did not reply.
Kole mouthed, Thank you, to me.
We dropped off Edda at the door to her new living quarters, leaving her to explore and make herself at home. A Lysian was stationed in the hall, ensuring she would not go anywhere that was not permitted. When we got back to the rooms, I hesitated on the threshold.
“Are you alright?” Kole asked, sounding concerned.
“No, I’m afraid I’m not,” I replied without moving another inch. It felt as though every muscle in my body was tight and not just from the travel on horseback.
Kole approached till he stood next to me.
“You are doing the best you can for your people. They will be fine.” He softened his tone with me surprisingly quickly.
When we were in the Bavadrin lands he was stern, on edge, and easily angered by anyone standing up to Erik or the Lysians in general.
After leaving, he regained some of his kindness.
“Am I? Is not having a choice in things supposed to make me feel better?” He did not respond, and I turned to face him. “I cannot just sit here. I need to move.”
“We can go for a run?” Kole offered.
“Do you think Eislyn is free to spar?” I asked instead.
For the first time, Kole didn’t cringe at the mention of her name. Instead, there was genuine concern in his icy gaze as he considered my request.
“If she isn’t available, then I can step in, if you’ll have me. But it could only be for a few hours for you have dinner plans tonight with Erik and his brothers.”
Of course, I had forgotten about that dinner. A night with the Lysian royals while I was in a dark mood. What could go wrong? At least they did not wish to kill me . . . yet. Maybe.
“Fine,” I agreed, resigning myself to the evening ahead.
By the time we got outside, I told Kole to forget about looking for Eislyn.
I did not want to waste the time. My muscles burned for a release.
Even my power began searing through my veins.
I wished to conjure, but that was impossible without risking being found out, so I needed to thoroughly exhaust myself in other ways.
Kole was perfect for the task. He was relentless, offering a consistent challenge and never going easy.
Unlike the first time he ever tried to train me, I could actually land a few blows on him.
They weren’t harmful, but they pleased me, nonetheless.
I was improving. Still, I doubted I could ever physically hold my own against him. Hopefully, I would never need to.
My muscles ached from exertion, sweat coating my skin. My heart raced from effort and my breath left me in heavy gulps. It was a wonderful release.
We moved around our makeshift grassy arena for a few hours before he glanced to the sun and straightened. “We need to head back. You have dinner to attend.”
“Thanks for this . . . I needed it,” I said as we began making our way back.
“You aren’t the only one,” he commented, his icy eyes glancing at me sidelong. “You okay?”
I frowned. Why did he keep asking that? Nothing changed from when we started sparring till when we ended. The issues at large remained. But I answered, “Yeah. You?”
“I’m fine.” He said it as if he did not know why I even asked.
“You were on edge before,” I pointed out.
“I was out of my element.”
“You were more on edge than the day you took me from my home.” I couldn’t help but stare at him while we walked, as if I could uncover his secrets if only I looked hard enough.
“Yeah,” he answered. It sounded like him admitting to something other than my question.
“Why?” I asked.
“Perhaps someday I will share it with you.”
“But not today?”
“No, not today.” He grinned playfully while stretching his enormous arms overhead.
I sighed.
We were nearly back to my room when I asked, “Any advice for tonight?” Up to that point, my interaction with the Lysian royals was largely limited to Erik. I knew little about his brothers and even less about what they thought of me.
“Erik will make sure they are all behaving,” Kole replied.
“I don’t need his protection,” I said. Irritation coated my words.
Kole’s lips curved at the side. “You do not know them. You may appreciate the protection yet.”
“And here I thought you knew me better than that,” I answered, and he smiled fully.
“Well, I look forward to hearing what you make of them,” he said with a grin.
When we got back, I quickly showered and prepared for a dinner that I did not want to attend.
I did not know what Erik’s brothers thought of me, but I was fairly certain they neither liked nor trusted me, though I did not blame them for that.
Unfortunately, I was not in the mood to try to sway them otherwise.