Chapter 27 Ash and Ember #2
And suddenly, clarity parted the fog in her mind.
The furniture. The comforts. The Resh’Agar sending for these men. Merchants traveled for coin, and they must have had a promise that there was coin to be made here. But the Reskala didn’t need these gowns and shawls and bedside tables.
She froze.
Not weapons. Not armor. For me.
Her heart lurched. “These wares aren’t for soldiers,” she whispered.
Thessia paused beside her. “No,” she admitted, arms folding across her chest.
Auryn turned to find her violet eyes boring into her own. Intense. Razor sharp.
And knowing.
“They’re for me,” Auryn said.
The Lioness didn’t answer. She didn’t need to.
Auryn’s breath shook. Her hands curled into fists at her sides. “He means to send me away.”
Thessia sighed through her nose. “Better Maradryn than Krystopolis, don’t you think?”
The words hit like a slap. “Isn’t that my decision to make?” Her voice rose, carrying down the empty courtyard, sharp enough that handlers turned from their work.
"Moonbeam, what do you know of that place? He means it when he says it's dangerous."
Auryn's lips thinned into a stubborn line. "So is traveling on the Moores. Yet I survived that. With him."
Thessia's hand settled on her shoulder. "It isn't your strength he doubts.
No one could doubt that. He fears something more.
Something neither of us can see." She paused, giving Auryn a chance to speak.
When she didn't, Thessia went on. "I don't know anything about the Crystal City, but I can tell you that the Resh'Agar is legend for a reason. A bloody one."
Auryn frowned at her. "I'm not a child, Thessia. I know his hands are far from clean."
The Lioness's eyes hardened to a hue Auryn hadn't seen before. Cold. Like amethyst.
"Auryn, that place is death. Rumors say blood magic. Sacrifice. Don't know what's down there, but it isn't a place for you."
"He is my place," Auryn said. Faltered. "He never meant to take me with him…"
Her eyes stung. Terrified that Thessia would see it, Auryn spun on her heel and strode away, boots striking hard against the stone.
She didn’t stop until she reached the stables, and the moment she did, she ripped her boots right off her feet and tossed them into the hay.
Her toes flinched against the cold, but she didn’t care.
She needed to feel the ground beneath her feet, to be sure it wasn’t falling.
The horses shifted restlessly around her, their breath steaming in the cold air.
Astenos was gone, likely with Kailorien, but the others stamped hooves and tossed their heads, unsettled by her trembling hands as she reached for a brush.
She moved down the line, stroking manes, tugging knots too roughly, her breath coming faster with each pass.
Her voice broke into the dark. “I thought he meant to stay. I thought—” She swallowed hard, pressing her forehead to a stall door. “Why does he keep saving me only to throw me away?”
Because I’m weak? Fragile? Small? Because I haven’t proven I can stand beside him?
Kailorien’s words slammed into her.
Maybe it was a mistake.
Auryn stumbled from the force of it. The mare before her shifted, ears flicking back at her unsteady touch. Auryn bit down hard, hoping the sting would halt the sudden burn of tears. With unsteady hands, she ran the brush down the horse’s flank, her knuckles white on the handle.
A firm hand caught her wrist. “Moonbeam.”
Thessia had followed her in—silent as a shadow until now. Her grip was steady, grounding, even as Auryn’s whole body trembled.
“Let me go,” Auryn rasped, yanking once.
But Thessia held firm. “No.”
Auryn whirled, silver gaze brimming with fury and grief. “He doesn’t even trust me to choose. Not even that. Always deciding for me. What I’m allowed to know, where I’m allowed to be.”
Thessia’s expression softened, but her voice stayed steady. “Maybe he’s afraid.”
Auryn’s voice cracked, raw. “Then he shouldn’t have looked at me like I was his world. And he shouldn’t have made me believe he’d stay.”
The words stung in the frost-bitted air. Even the horses stilled, sensing the weight of them.
Despite her attempts to stop them, the tears rolled down her cheeks. Hot. Damning. "Thess… I don't know what to do…I don't know how to make him see…"
Thessia loosened her hold, but she didn’t step back. She held out her hand, and Auryn collapsed into her. The tears came harder. And harder. Even as strong arms and the wild scent of the winds surrounded her, Auryn couldn't stop crying. Thessia stroked her hair. Awkward, but tender.
"I'm no good at this sort of thing," she admitted as Auryn's sobs quieted. "My company—we don't cry unless we're deep in our cups, and it usually involves a lost bet or misplaced underthings."
Auryn's hiccups broke on a giggle. She buried her face into Thessia's chest, and the Lioness rested her chin on the crown of her head.
"None of us have so much to lose. One day we live, another day we fight, and one day—unexpectedly—we perish. But you, moonbeam. You've found something rare. You have to fight for it."
Auryn sniffled. "How do I fight when I cannot see where to aim my bow?"
Thessia stiffened, as though deep in thought. She took a deep breath.
“Do you remember what you told me? That my heart sings, but you wouldn’t listen until I wanted you to?”
Auryn blinked, startled, and nodded. “When you braided my hair…”
Thessia’s jaw worked, uncharacteristically tense. Then she lifted Auryn’s hand in both of hers, guiding it to her chest. “I want you to listen. Now.”
Auryn’s eyes widened. She covered Thessia’s hand with her own.
A beat of silence passed.
“So how does this work?” Thessia asked.
“You simply…speak…and I listen. I hear your voice, and the song of your heart.”
“What should I say?”
“Anything you wish.”
Thessia’s ears flushed pink. She cleared her throat and spoke in a gruff voice. “You’re never alone, moonbeam. Whatever happens, you can come with me. I won’t keep you—that is—you don’t have to promise me anything. Just…come. You could even be a Riven Blade if you wanted."
She met Auryn's eyes. Just for a moment. "Is it…working?"
Auryn nodded. "Please, keep going."
"My house isn't very big, but it's big enough if you would—ah, no. That is—if you would want to, you could stay with us. The Riven Blades. We can be loud and surly, but we're a good bunch and…Stars, this is harder than I thought…” She reached up and scratched the back of her neck, sheepish.
But it was enough for Auryn, and biting her lip could no longer hold back more tears. Warmth filled her chest. Thessia’s heart sang a note so pure, so clear, that it broke through all the pain of Auryn’s uncertainty. She shivered.
“Oh, Thessia…” she whispered. “It’s beautiful. What is this feeling?”
The Lioness made a small, unsteady sound. Her throat worked as though words had caught there. Her lips parted, but all that came out was rough, halting.
“You tell me,” she muttered at last. Her mouth tugged sideways, betraying the ghost of a smile she couldn’t quite hide.
“It’s warm,” Auryn said. “And light. And aching. It’s steady and sure.”
A moment. A breath. Then Thessia covered her hand with her own. “It’s the way you feel about him, isn’t it?” she asked. The words tumbled too quickly, as if she couldn’t stop them.
Auryn held her breath, the truth spilling from Thessia’s lips too much to bear.
The Lioness’s violet eyes softened. “If it is,” she said, voice thick but steady, “then fight for it, moonbeam. Don’t let it pass you by.”