32. Chapter 32
thirty-two
Sor’en
My eyes betray me as I curl in tighter around my mate in the large bed at the temple. It is unbalanced, disgraceful, for a male to cry. For a botanist, even more so. I do not care.
Have not cared in many passes around our sun.
My nose presses deeper into her soft copper hair, ignoring her as she bats at me, trying to cling to her rest. I would love to let her.
To keep her curled here and recovering, although I have been assured again and again that she is fine.
I kept her under longer than she would’ve been naturally.
I started keeping her asleep shortly after I landed in a sprawled heap in a field, miles from the city where I knew Melion would take her.
The cast of his shadows had absorbed the energy from the blast and the fall.
I cannot pretend it wasn’t for selfish reasons, a desire to hold her like this before I lost everything.
Before she looks at me with hate and despair in her golden-green eyes.
Hue mumbles in her sleep, rolling over closer to me with a little wince as something thuds beneath my palm on her swollen belly.
I go still, staring down at the spot. Another rolling flutter decorates my palm as her eyes snap open, meeting mine.
Everything that’s been mastered into me as a child demands I look away.
That I don’t let her see the emotion clogging my throat. The pain in my eyes.
“What's wrong?” she breathes, immediately trying to sit up. “Is he okay? Are you okay?” I keep her down gently, her hands snapping up to rest over mine, pressing them harder into her stomach as our baby rolls within the safety of his mother.
“It is the greatest treasure of my life to see you like this, Draya’la. You and our child are well.”
She seems to breathe easier after that, resting back against my chest to stare at the murals on the ceiling, “We’re in the temple. What happened?”
“I killed everyone who threatened you, just as I promised.”
She shivers at that. “Sor’en, the general… I have so many questions. I’d like to go home so we can talk.”
Agony pierces my chest like a soul blade, rendering the flesh raw and putrid. “We cannot go home, my sweet.”
“Why?” she breathes. Absently trailing her fingers along the backs of my palms. I pull toxin to the spot, letting her spread it across her belly.
If I were not such a horrible, miserable beast, my cock would vibrate with pleasure.
“You will remain here at the temple, Hue, where the females can care for you.”
Her entire body tenses as she tries to bolt up, tries to strengthen her hold. I don’t let her move, burying my nose in her hair, soaking her in. “You care for me. Sor’en, what’s going on? Let me go.”
“Not yet.”
She thrashes harder, bumping her delicate flesh against my unforgiving frame. “Sor’en, let go!”
“Please, Draya’la, let me hold you both for a moment more.”
She settles at that, an anguished sound bleeding into her voice. “You’re scaring me.”
“As we speak, there are hundreds of Xyreliths outside this temple ready to assure you want for nothing. Our child will want for nothing. Please understand, Hue, that I have provided for you everything you could need. My credit accounts have been transferred to your name, and none of this will touch you.”
She sobs. “I don’t understand.”
“I am a murderer, Hue.”
“I-I don’t care, please, Sor’en, please take me home.”
“No, my love, I cannot take you home. Promise me that you’ll tell him about me. Promise me that my child will not think I have abandoned him needlessly. He is loved Hue.”
My mate sobs in my arms, struggling again. “Tell him yourself!”
“I love him more than the air in my lungs, and each breath I drag through them will exist simply for the two of you until my last. Tell me you know this.”
She sobs wildly and unbalanced as the doors open, Me’alma and Lyr’ael entering. Tears streak down my cheeks as I tighten my hold.
The Balla’mar enters behind them, his face cold and unreadable as his shimmer darkens.
“Another moment, please—" I plead, but he cuts me off.
“Now botan—Sor’en. Do it now. Go with balance.”
My heart ruptures into a million shattering pieces as I pass my panicked, screaming mate into the arms of her friends. Her red hair crazed as she claws and fights to get to me. Melion takes her the next moment, and I can feel the warmth from her flesh within his hold.
I reach forward, smearing oil across her chapped lips one last time before I head into the hall.
Steeling myself with strength I do not feel.
Her screams echo and follow me like vengeful ghosts.
The spirits of Silloria following me with their grave faces and whispers.
I tune them out; I do not deserve their guidance.
As I break outside of the arch, my datapad is already cued up, displaying my hideous face to the wider galaxy.
A bypass that was not difficult to interface with Adder's DNA marker at my disposal.
Moments ago, a detailed manifesto was sent to the Kalzait royal family. Outlining every crime we committed together. Some he committed alone. His fallen house of cards.
I face the blank, empty field as it scans my face.
Wondering how baffled the Kalzait people must be to see me.
How enraged the Intergalactic Alliance must be as well.
“I, Sor’en, a Xyrelith botanist of planet Silloria, have killed Intergalactic General Adder and a small team of Riarthians after he illegally entered my planet to abduct my mate.
I have worked with him for orbits as a contracted mercenary for the Intergalactic Alliance elite military force under threat of exposure and manipulation.
Adder promised my people protection for my disgraceful crimes, and he did not follow through.
Sixty-six orbits ago, I killed a Kalzait child on Vortara Space Station—"
“WHAT?” My mate sobs from somewhere behind me.
My voice wavers for a single breath before I continue.
“His name was Clayan, son to the Kalzait King and Queen. Brother to the prince and next in line for the Kalzait throne. My actions were mine alone, done behind the backs of my people. I alone take responsibility for my crimes. To the Kalzian Royal Family, I will go willingly. There is no need to breach or domes. My people have suffered enough.”
The com ends with a resounding silence.
Until my mate screams.
“What have you done?! They will kill you! Sor’en! Sor’en, please look at me!”
My hands tremble as I clear my throat, opening my arms and fighting against my surge of toxins. My body's automatic response to an oncoming threat. “I love you, Hue. Please forgive me, but this has weighed down my soul for too long. I will not let it weigh on yours as well.”
“What are you doing?! No! Don’t you fucking touch him! How dare you?! Don’t you touch him!”
Melion, thank you for your service all these long years. They will need you.
His fear, his sorrow, have been a nagging wound in my chest since I made up my mind. I hope it eases with time.
The Balla’mar steps before me, impervious to my mate's pleas. There are no blessings of balance, no words of hatred, just his pained face as he slides his palms against my bare chest and the world goes dark.