Chapter 10 Laney
Laney
I find Laurie in one of the bedrooms on the first floor, sitting on the edge of a twin bed and staring at her hands.
Someone's given her clean clothes, soft sweatpants and an oversized hoody.
Her hair is damp from the shower she must have just taken, but she still looks.
.. fragile. Broken in a way I've never seen my sister before.
"Hey," I say softly from the doorway.
She looks up, and her face crumples. "Laney."
I'm across the room in seconds, sitting next to her on the bed and pulling her into my arms. She sobs against my shoulder, her whole body shaking, and I just hold her. Let her break. Let her feel everything she's been holding back.
"I'm sorry," she gasps out between sobs. "I'm so sorry, I should have been more careful, I should have—"
"Stop." I pull back just enough to look at her face. "This is not your fault. None of this is your fault."
"But I was so stupid. I went with them. They said they were security from the casino, that there'd been a problem with my takings and they needed me to come verify some information. And I just... I believed them." Fresh tears stream down her face. "I got in their car like an idiot and they…"
"You trusted people who pretended to be trustworthy. That's not stupid. That's being human." I wipe her tears with my thumbs. "They're the monsters. Not you."
"I was so scared." Her voice breaks. "Every day I thought... I thought I was going to die. Or worse. Some of those other women, Laney, the things they were planning to do to us…" Her eyes are wide and disbelieving, like if she hadn’t been there she would have never thought it possible.
"I know. But you're all safe now. You're safe and you're alive and I'm not letting you out of my sight ever again."
She laughs through her tears, watery but genuine. "You can't protect me forever."
"Watch me."
We sit there for a while, just holding each other. My twin. My other half. The person I've known longer than anyone else in the world.
"I need to ask you something," Laurie says finally, pulling back to look at me. "And I need you to be honest."
"Okay."
"Are you really okay? I know you're being strong for me, but.
.." She searches my face. "You just went through hell too. Running into a warehouse, hiding in a container while people fired guns all around us. And whatever else happened while you were looking for me. I’m really not sure what to make of this Yakov guy either… "
"I know." I frown, Laurie always had a way of getting right to the point. I think about how to explain it. How do you explain that a stranger you met less than 6 hours ago has had such a profound effect on you?
Maybe all this is just some weird trauma response, but it feels like something so much more…
"Before we got to you tonight, he saved me from the men who took you.
He saved your life. He saved all those women.
And yes, he killed people to do it, but those people were.
.." I swallow hard. "They were evil, Laurie.
They were going to sell you. Sell all of you to god knows who for god knows what.
And they would have killed anyone who got in their way. "
"That doesn't answer my question," she probes, stifling a yawn.
"I am okay," I say quietly. "Which probably says something terrible about me. But I'm okay with it because he did what needed to be done. And because..." I trail off, not sure how to explain.
"Because you would have done the same thing if you could," Laurie finishes.
"Am I an awful person?" I ask, my voice suddenly small as I hold back the tears.
Laurie laughs lightly, "Not even a little bit. The way you jumped that guy will forever live rent free in my head. The way you wouldn’t let up so we could get out. I genuinely didn’t know you had it in you and I’m so impressed. But mostly I’m grateful and so exhausted."
I pull her into a side hug, resting my head on her shoulder. "Macy said you were giving them grief non-stop."
"Abso-fucking-lutely I was. There was no way I was going to roll over and make taking me easy."
Laughter works its way out of me. Then we’re both laughing. The adrenaline finally wearing off and leaving us somewhat hysterical but mostly bone-tired.
"Laney," she says, nudging my head off her shoulder and brushing a lock of hair behind my ear.
"He looks at you like you're the only person in the world.
And you look at him like... like you can't decide if he makes you feel alive or terrified.
" She takes my hand. "It's okay to feel both those things. "
"I barely know him."
"You know he saved us. You know he's protecting those women even though he doesn't have to. You know he looks at you like you hung the moon." She squeezes my fingers. "Sometimes that's enough to start with."
"What if it's too fast? What if I'm just... trauma-bonding or something?"
"Maybe you are. Or maybe this is real. You won't know unless you let yourself find out." She studies my face. "Do you want to be with him?"
"Yes," I admit.
"Then go."
"But what about you? I should stay—"
"No." Laurie shakes her head firmly. "I need to stay here with the others. We need each other right now. We need to process this together with people who understand." She manages a small smile. "And honestly? I need some space. I need to figure out who I am after... after everything."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure." She looks toward the door, where I can hear the murmur of voices from the common room.
"These women need me. And I need them. But you?
" She turns back to me. "You need him. I can see it.
You're holding yourself together by sheer force of will, and you're about three seconds away from completely falling apart.
Go with him. Let him help you. Fall apart with him then fuck him senseless… "
"Laurie!" I say with a gasp and she laughs.
"What?" she says, all wide-eyed despite the swelling from the bruise high on her cheek. "I heard trauma-bond sex is really amazing." She grins, and for a second I see a flash of the old Laurie, the one who existed before all this. "Put the poor man out of his misery."
I laugh despite myself, wiping at my own eyes. "I love you."
"I love you too." She pulls me in for one more hug before shoo-ing me from the room.