Chapter 15
Janey
The afternoon sun is warm on my shoulders as I sit on the front porch with a glass of lemon soda, watching Buck attempt to chase a butterfly across the grass.
It has been a surprisingly peaceful day.
I helped with a few light chores this morning, took a nap after lunch, and now I'm pretending to do anything other than overthink every single thing in my life.
The sound of tires on the gravel drive pulls me from my thoughts. A familiar truck comes into view, Wade and Caleb’s, and my heart lifts the moment I see Joelle waving from the passenger seat.
I stand as they park. Mason and Brookes step out from the barn, wiping their hands on their jeans, big grins already spreading across their faces.
“Look who decided to visit,” Mason calls out.
Joelle climbs down carefully, walks straight to me, and pulls me into a tight hug.
“Hey, you,” she whispers against my hair. “How are you holding up?”
Before I can answer, little Caleb, freed from his car seat by big Caleb, toddles over and wraps his chubby arms around my leg. “Janey!”
I laugh and scoop him up, pressing a kiss to his curly head. “Hi, sweet boy.”
Wade and Caleb greet Mason and Brookes with backslaps and easy conversation. The four men fall into ranch talk almost immediately, covering fences, cattle prices, and the new bull they're thinking about buying, as if the whole world can be covered in detail before they’ve even gone inside.
Joelle leans close to me. “Can we talk for a minute? Just us?”
I nod, already nervous, and hand little Caleb back to Wade before leading her through the house and out onto the back porch, where the pasture stretches wide and quiet beyond the rail.
We settle into the rocking chairs. Joelle looks out over the land for a moment, her hand drifting lightly over her middle, then she turns to me with soft eyes.
“I wanted to tell you in person that I’m pregnant.” A bright, nervous smile breaks out across her face.
For a second, pure joy rushes through me. “Joelle. Oh my God.” I reach over and squeeze her hands. “That’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you.”
She laughs, and the sound turns a little watery at the edges. “Thank you. I wanted you to hear it from me first.”
“Yeah. The grapevine is fast in these parts.”
She grimaces. “I’m still vexed with Wade. He had no business interfering in your life that way.”
“It’s okay,” I say. “They’ve been amazing. And staying here has been good for me.”
“It’s all the fresh air and wide open space. I love it.” Joelle rests her hand on her still-flat belly, smiling softly.
I'm genuinely thrilled for her. Joelle deserves this: the love, the stability, the and growing family.
She deserves a happy pregnancy, filled with joy and anticipation, rather than the stress and worry of the last one.
But beneath that happiness, a more complicated emotion rises.
Our babies will be so close in age. Second cousins.
They could grow up together, running around this ranch, wild and sun-kissed, causing the same kind of chaos their fathers probably did.
The picture in my mind is beautiful, but it’s such a leap into the future that fear crowds the edges.
Joelle’s expression softens as if she can read every feeling crossing my face. “I know this might feel like extra pressure for you right now. I’m sorry if the timing makes things harder.”
I shake my head quickly. “No, don’t apologize. This is amazing news. I’m so happy for all of you.”
“I know you are.” She squeezes my hands.
“I also know your situation is completely different from mine. I have Wade and Caleb, both fully committed, with no questions between us and no family drama hanging over our heads. You have two very stubborn cowboys who are crazy about you, a career you’ve worked hard for, and a mother who’s probably going to lose her mind when she finds out. ”
A tired laugh slips out of me. “Yeah. That about sums it up.”
Joelle leans back in her chair and rocks gently. “Where’s your head at, Janey? Really? I mean, have things changed now you’re here?”
I stare out at the pasture. The late afternoon light is bright and intense, turning the grass into a sparkling carpet.
“I’m scared,” I admit. “Every time I start imagining staying here, raising this baby with them, it feels right in my bones. Then I think about my mom, about how disappointed she’ll be and how much she’ll refuse to understand, and I wonder if I’m being selfish by even considering this life.”
Joelle is quiet for a moment. “You’re allowed to be selfish about this, Janey. This is your body, your baby, and your future. You’ve spent years making choices based on what would make other people proud. Maybe it’s time you make one that makes you happy.”
I nod slowly, my throat tight. “Being here these last couple of days feels like seeing what real life could look like. With Mason and Brookes, but also with all of you close by. Our kids growing up together. Family dinners. Watching them run around our ranches like little hellions.”
I smile at the image, even as my eyes sting.
“It’s the kind of life I didn’t know I wanted until it was right in front of me.”
Joelle’s eyes turn misty, too. “Then don’t let fear make the decision for you. You deserve to be loved exactly as you are. And those two men in there?” She glances toward the house, her smile warming. “They look at you like you hung the moon and stars.”
Warmth rises in my cheeks, and I look away, but I can’t quite hide from the truth of it.
“I don’t know how to trust it yet,” I whisper. “It’s all so fast.”
“I know.” Joelle reaches for my hand again. “You don’t have to trust everything all at once. Just enough to take the next step.”
“How did you know it was right with Caleb and Wade?”
She shrugs. “I guess I knew them a little when we were younger, but it was superficial. It wasn’t until I spent time with them as an adult, I saw what good men they were. They folded me into their life and suddenly, I couldn’t imagine myself anywhere else.”
I nod, understanding what that feels like.
We sit together for a while longer, talking about due dates and cravings and how surreal it feels that we’re both going to be mothers.
Joelle tells me she cried over a commercial yesterday, then ate pickles straight from the jar while Wade stared at her like she was the most precious, confusing creature he had ever seen. I laugh until my chest aches.
By the time we head back inside, the kitchen is full of warmth and noise.
Mason and Brookes are setting the table while Wade and Caleb argue good-naturedly over who gets to carve the roast. Little Caleb is helping by stealing pieces of carrot from a bowl and offering them to Buck, who accepts each one with a duck of his head.
I stand in the doorway for a moment, watching them.
Mason says something that makes Brookes roll his eyes. Wade laughs under his breath. Joelle slips past me and presses a hand to his back as she reaches for a glass. Little Caleb squeals when Buck’s whiskers tickle his fingers.
The room is messy and loud and completely alive, so different from the pristine, organized home I grew up in, or the quiet, neat home I created for myself.
This is what I've been missing my whole life.
Chaos. Noise. Love. Easy belonging. Simple expectations. Warmth.
I let myself imagine what it would feel like to stay. To build a life here. To let these men love our baby and me without apology.
The thought still frightens me, but the alternative is beginning to frighten me more.