Chapter Sixteen
A week had passed since Abauna spied on her groom at the springs. A week of her dressing more provocatively in hopes that he’d need her. Of snuggling at night and reading their book and wondering about the persons who lived in the hut before them.
Sometimes her mind drifted to the Barbarian Hold and the Empress, but more and more, their previous life was feeling like a distant nightmare they’d blessedly escaped from.
A week of working on their hut.
They were going to attempt growing their own plant foods from the seeds of what Rolan found in the Barren. A squash, some kind of curved pepper, and a long, green item that she thought her father once called a ‘cuke’.
A week of bathing at the springs, taking turns between the pool and the falls.
A week of peeking at Rolan when he wouldn’t notice. But still, she’d not caught a glimpse of his manhood. A cock, some called it, as she was told in bridal training.
“Cock,” she said quietly, feeling the word in her mouth for the first time as she tended to the pots in the kitchen basin. She was determined to finish washing them before he woke. “Cock… cock, cock, cockety cock.”
She snorted. Say it enough and it just sounded silly. Or maybe it was only because she was talking to herself again.
She did that a lot these days, to keep her mind off of her groom and what he might be doing with that cock when she wasn’t around.
A week of her curiosity eating her up.
A week of him coming and going while she always stayed.
She planned for today to be different.
As she was working on the last of the pots, she heard him stirring. She almost never woke before him, so it was mere moments before he’d joined her in the main room.
“Good morning, groom.”
“You’re awake early,” he commented, his tone disapproving.
She knew why.
Today she wore his tunic again, but she’d tied a knot in the hem of one side to bring it tighter around her body. To the innocent eye, it was to keep the fabric from dipping into the basin water as she cleaned. But she was aware of how it lifted the hem shorter on one side, nearly to the crease of her thigh.
She could feel him watching her while she cleaned and it gave her a thrill like none other. His eyes were always on her when she wore what was his, and she took notice. It would be necessary to do double the washing in order to wear his clothes more often, but for his hungry looks, it would be worth it.
She was growing addicted to the way he made her feel. Beautiful, and not guilty for it. Useful even when she made mistakes like burning the dinner. He treated her like a gift instead of a burden, and it made her heart butter in his palm.
If only she could find a way to reach past whatever barrier kept them from having more.
Caught up in her thoughts, she didn’t hear him settling in behind her, and she gasped at his voice near her ear, nearly dropping the scrubbing wand.
“Is there something you would like me to look for today, wife?” His voice was soft and low, sending chills across her skin. She really was fond of her groom’s voice. “Maybe the blooms that I found before? Or more peppercorns?”
She turned to him, grinning, and his eyes shone with what she could only guess was… happiness. Maybe now was the time to tell him of her plan.
“I thought perhaps I might come with you today.”
The fur above his eyes furrowed and she hurried forth with her idea.
“I know there’s work to be done here, but that’s why I started early. I could make extra lunch and we could take a fur with us to sit on, perhaps under the tree that drops fruit? And watch the sky together. A-and I could help you search for sustenance, of course,” she added when his frown deepened.
He was going to say no. Oh, of course he was. And then she would spend the whole day lonely and missing him.
“That’s not how this works, wife,” he said, confused. “It is my job to gather and yours to nurture.”
“I-I know. It’s just… well…”
Say it, Abauna.
“Are you unhappy with our arrangement?” he asked.
That was just it. Their arrangement was still too formal. Time had done them good, but she wanted more.
“No,” she said. “Not unhappy. I…” Her shoulders slumped. She didn’t know how to say what she meant. So she settled on another truth instead. “I will miss you while you’re gone.”
His eyes lifted in surprise. “You will?”
He sounded as if it was the most absurd thing in the world.
“Of course. Do you not…” She couldn’t finish the words miss me.
Oh, no.
Maybe their time apart was valued by him. Maybe he needed the time away from her, when she only wanted more with him. But then why did he bring her gifts as though he’d been thinking about her?
Perhaps he considered it part of his husbandly duties. Just like bringing meat to cook or greens to preserve for winter.
She could feel her cheeks turn hot with embarrassment. He would notice, so she turned away, scrubbing furiously at the candle pot.
“There’s a lunch for you in the cold box,” she said quietly. “Good luck today, husband. May abundance find you.”
He was quiet and didn’t move for so long she thought she’d missed him leaving. But eventually the sound of his boots shuffled away.
Just before he passed through the door, his voice broke the silence.
“I will think of you every moment that I’m gone, precious wife. Just as I have every moment since the first time I ever left you. Be well today.”
She blew out a hard breath as his words sliced through her disappointment.
He missed her too.
It was enough. For now.
***
Rolan had much time to think while foraging, but he still couldn’t make sense of his bride’s behavior this morning. She wished to come with him. Sit beside him under the tree with the fruit and stare at the sky. She’d even risen early to prepare.
Yet this wasn’t her role, it was his.
And when he’d questioned her about it, she seemed… upset.
Perhaps he should have remained home today so he could investigate her reasons and make amends.
But he’d left without considering that option, and now, he wasn’t sure what to do. Was there another way to make amends? Perhaps if he found something very special to bring her. Something she would never expect.
For the remainder of his time, he searched for the right gift, wandering farther into the Barren than he often did. Here, the forest thinned, becoming less green and drier. He preferred their location, but he did wonder what else there was to see of the great Barren. One day, he would journey out and explore it.
But not without his bride.
He could never be apart from her more than the daylight hours he entertained now.
His eyes landed on a strange object jutting from the brush ahead. It was larger than most things he brought her, and possibly useless. But he hurried forward to investigate.
It was nearly the size of the small dining table in their hut. Circular and made of some sort of pliable black substance, thick but not unmoveable. It had a hole in the middle large enough for him to step through. Which he did, testing it. He could practically wear it around his waist like a belt.
What was this thing?
He brought it up to his hips, noticing his bottom fit snugly in the rounded wall of it. Perhaps it could be some kind of seat.
Stepping free of it, he stood back to stare at the thing, thinking.
Once, when he’d been with the Empress only a short time, she told him of a plaything she enjoyed. A swing. She described it as a seat held aloft by chains. One sat upon it while another pushed. She’d promised him if he was a good pet, she would let him try it. He was never good enough.
His stomach twisted with the memory, but he quickly pushed it away. The Empress’s cruelty wasn’t permitted in his new life, with his sweet bride around to hold back the worst of it. Not even in memory.
He considered the object before him, his mind working. He would make it into a swing for Abauna. A bit of rope through the middle, then he could tie it up in a tree. He imagined her sitting in it while he pushed her high… her bubbling laugh as he released it, letting her soar…
Yes, this was the perfect gift for his female.
Flinging it over his shoulder, he hurried back into the thick of the forest. The faster he got home, the faster he could tell her about it.
But the journey back took longer than he expected. He wouldn’t travel that far without her again.
When he arrived back home, it was growing dark and his bride had already left to bathe at the springs. To be sure, he listened for her soft hum. She liked to sing when she bathed. The working songs of her people. And just as he expected, a familiar tune lilted along the breeze assuring him that she was there.
However, he couldn’t approach now without seeing her naked.
The idea had him hardening beneath his trousers.
But no, he was quite sure she wouldn’t welcome that intrusion, despite the way she’d been dressing lately.
He sighed.
He’d just have to wait to tell her about the swing.