Chapter Eighteen
Abauna couldn’t look away from her groom. She’d never witnessed anything so carnal in her life, much less participated in it. Her entire body thrummed with excitement as his release broke free, spraying her tunic.
But it was his expression that had her captivated. The blazing lust, the choking emotion, the satisfaction…
She wanted to experience it herself.
She wanted to go wild with desire and explode with sensation.
And she didn’t have a clue how to tell him so.
She was frozen to her spot, hands still covering her breasts, as he stood and fetched a cloth from the cabinet, wetting it in the basin.
“You think of me always?” she asked as he wiped at the mess on the tunic.
“Every time.” He was quiet, avoiding her eyes.
“I want what you just had,” she blurted, her shame nowhere to be found.
He was hers, and she was done wondering what it was like to be fully his.
He stilled, his gaze slowly finding hers.
“You wish for me to watch you?”
She shook her head. “I wish for you to have me. Fully. Completely. As a groom does with his bride.”
His swallow was audible and her eyes traced the movement of his throat.
“Bride, I… I know not if this is real.”
Real? Did he think it a trick?
Quickly, she closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to his, kissing him like before except this time it wasn’t easy and explorative. It was desperate and passionate.
A heavy purr erupted from him, and she sighed into his mouth, relieved.
He opened, pressing his tongue in to meet hers, lapping and licking like a madman. His arms tucked around her, pressing her bare chest to his furred one, and the sensation was glorious.
She put her palm to the side of his neck wanting to feel that sound of satisfaction reverberating from him, but he pulled back with a soft growl, finding her eyes.
“Are you… are you sure?”
“Positively,” she breathed, twisting her fingers into the fur at his neck. “No one has ever treated me the way you do. Cared for me like you. Protected me like you. I would give myself to you a hundred times over—a thousand, a million—if you’d allow it.”
There. It was out. It was said. The truth.
His expression turned fierce. Determined.
“I will have you in our bed.”
Before she nodded her agreement, he easily lifted her into his arms and brought her to the bedroom. Her tunic was lost along the way, leaving her in nothing but her bottom undergarment.
He set her down beside the bed, stepping back to let his gaze roam her body a moment before he shed his clothing. Tunic first and then trousers, leaving him completely bare.
She took him in, seeing all of him for the first time… and he was beautiful to her.
His body was thick with muscle, every inch covered in his luxurious fur. All except for his partially extended cock.
Oh, it wasn’t a silly word now.
His member jutted from a thatch of fur at his hips, hardening before her very eyes. Its wide head was intimidating and left her breathless with anticipation.
Quickly, she lost her remaining covering, letting the undergarment fall to the floor around her feet.
His gaze fell too, honing in on the apex of her thighs.
“Oh, bride…” he rumbled low. “You are exquisite beyond belief.”
She felt her skin flush hot at his appraisal. Her heart beat double time, desire pooling between her legs.
Did he know how needy she was? Could he tell?
“Let me see you,” he said, his body vibrating with tension.
Sliding backward onto the bed, she let her legs fall open and held her breath for his reaction.
***
Rolan’s purr flared, filling the entire room as he stared at his bride.
He moved closer, kneeling before her on the bed, awed by her.
Her little flower was entrancing. The way its petals dripped with her silky dew. The way it seemed to breathe as she rolled her hips. The intriguing little button at the cleft.
“I…” his voice was shredded. “I can have this?”
“Please,” she whispered, sounding as desperate as he felt. “Touch me like you do when you imagine us together.”
She couldn’t know what she was asking. And he was a monster for wanting to take advantage of that.
But he did.
Oh, he wanted it more than his next breath.
He would show her just how he did in his desperate thoughts. He would kiss and worship her body like the gift that it was. Every inch. He would touch her in ways that made her feel so good she would forget she was lying with a beast.
He could do this.
He could make love to his precious, adorable bride.
She wanted it. She needed it. Look at how swollen she was for him.
But…
No. He couldn’t.
Because his heart would smother the special thing they already had. Companionship. He loved her too much and she… merely depended on him.
Not true,his mind argued.
She believed the best of him, and didn’t see him as a monster. She missed him when he was gone, and wanted to spend time with him.
And now, she shared her body.
If he did this, she would see the truth. She would see that he was wholly obsessed. That he lived and breathed only for her. She would know the power she held over him… and maybe she would use it like the Empress did. To crush him. Mock him. Ruin him.
Leave him.
His breath caught in his chest and he pushed away, giving her his back.
No, no, no. She wasn’t like the Empress.
Abauna was kind and understanding. She wouldn’t mock him for feeling love for someone who might never return it.
“Rolan?” Her voice shook and he forced himself to face her. “Groom? Have I done something unappealing?” She was no longer open to him, her thighs tightly closed and the sheet pulled up to her chin.
“No.” As if he could ever find her unappealing. “But I must tell you something.”
Concern haunted her gaze. “What is it?”
He could confide in her. She won’t laugh, he promised himself. And she needed to understand where he stood if she was going to let this happen.
“Bride…” He drew in a deep breath and let the words fly. “I have come to care for you.”
Her troubled expression melted away.
“Is that all? Husband, you had me worried.”
Is that all?
No, he didn’t say it right. She didn’t understand. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be smiling with relief.
“No, see… I care for you very deeply.” His throat ached with a pent up growl. “So much that it makes my heart throb in my chest. And when you touch me, I feel like I will melt.”
But again, her face softened, that familiar pink flooding her cheeks. He wanted to reach out and feel the heat with his thumb. Brush it with his lips. Lick it with his tongue so he could taste the flavor of it.
She went up on her knees crawling closer to him. Slowly, like one might approach a wounded animal.
“I care for you too.” Her gaze flicked away shyly before returning. “I don’t think you realize how much.”
Oh, he loved her like this. Like whatever was working inside her pretty mind was so private it shouldn’t be spoken. And every time she decided to share it with him, he felt like a king.
She maneuvered herself onto his lap so they were face to face, her legs straddling him, their position dangerously close. He bathed in her sweet breath as her arms threaded around his neck. His hands gripped her thighs, begging her to stay still so he didn’t lose control.
“Can I tell you a secret?” she asked, looking so vulnerable his heart broke for her.
“Of course, bride. You can tell me anything.”
“Okay, but promise you won’t be upset.”
His stomach dropped. What could she confide that would upset him?
“Promise you won’t go anywhere,” she pressed, her voice quivering. “Just… stay here with me, no matter what.”
“Whatever it is, tell me. I promise to hear you out.”
She trembled as she lowered her mouth to his ear, effectively hiding her face.
“Tell me, bride,” he urged.
“I… I don’t just care for you, husband. I think I love you.” She breathed the words, so quiet he might’ve missed them if he hadn’t been listening so hard. “Not in the way a wife loves her husband, because of duty and promises. But in the way one cares for a lover. The way a heart just chooses who it beats for.”
He went still except for where his heart battered his ribs. Her words left him nearly devastated. If it was possible to be devastated and overcome with joy at the same time. Why did his emotions bleed together so absurdly?
“You… love me?”
“Yes.” Her voice was a mere breath. “How could I not? You are everything I hoped for. And I couldn’t keep it from you any longer. Because I ache for you. Can’t you see?”
Any longer?
“How long have you felt so?”
“Nearly from the beginning. From that first night in the temple. You were so gentle with me, yet so protective, willing to risk it all to keep me from doing something I was afraid of. None had ever been kinder.”
He pressed his face into the curve of her neck, breathing her in.
This was real. His bride loved him. With her tender heart and understanding ways, she’d transformed him. Once a savage, now a lover.
But he would always be her beast.
He pulled back to stare into her eyes. “You love me, Abauna, my bride.”
“I do.”
“Then show me.”
He knew she was far more knowledgeable than him in these things. Instinct would guide him, his heart would too—he could have let his mouth explore her until they found their way. But it was better to learn from her how their bodies would unite.
She eased back, resting her bottom on his thighs as she looked down between them. She stared at his thick rod, and it jumped at her attention.
“I have never taken a male before, and you are large.” Her hand smoothed down his chest, fingers tunneling into his fur as she went. “Larger than the ones I was shown during bridal training.”
“It will fit,” he insisted, though he didn’t know if that was true.
She licked her lips. “We shall make it fit. I’ve never known need like this. You’ve conjured it, beast. I want you badly.”
Would she welcome his touch first? He thought it crucial to try.
Holding her gaze, he let his hand roam over her waist to her center, brushing his fingers over the lips of her sex, wringing a moan from her. They were slick with her need and he had the sudden urge to taste it. Collecting it on his finger, he brought it to his mouth and sucked the dew from it.
His purr flared.
“Mmm. Bride, your juices are delicious.”
Her cheeks flooded with pink, and he dipped down for more, relishing her shiver as he prodded her opening.
“You say I may have this, bride? This soft, precious part of you no one has ever had?”
She nodded, her hips rolling against his touch.
“Yet, I can’t decide if I should have it with my tongue or my cock.”
A lusty sound vibrated her throat and he pressed his lips to her neck so he could feel it.
“There is time for both,” she panted. “But I wish to complete our vows. To have you within me, becoming one with me.”
He found her eyes.
One with her.
That sounded like the most perfect thing in the world.
“Then take me inside you, where I belong.”
She rose up a bit, and he held his cock for her as she notched the tip at her entrance.
“I will start it,” she said, her voice tight. “But you must break me open.”
His gaze jerked up to her face. “Break you?”
She nodded, gasping as she sat on him deeper. “My barrier. You must break it.”
“I do not wish to break any part of you.” But as her body molded around his, wringing pleasure from him, he feared it was too late to stop.
Abauna panted, each tiny movement down his cock clearly a labor, and he was barely an inch inside.
“We must stop,” he croaked, even as she circled her hips and sat harder.
“We must not,” she argued. “Breaking my barrier is required to enter me fully, and… that is what I want most. You, fully.”
“It will hurt you.” He didn’t know much, but he knew this instinctively.
She pressed her forehead to his, their breath mingling. “For a moment, and then you will make it feel better. I trust you, groom. You will know what to do.”
She trusted him.
He wouldn’t let her down.
“Tell me what to do.”
“When I’ve stretched around you as far as I can go… push in, hard. You will feel resistance, but don’t stop.” A faint whimper sounded in her throat as she eased down on him further. “Punch through. Pierce me with your cock, down to the hilt, and stay there until I can breathe again. Understand?”
He gave a jerking nod, the squeeze of her becoming nearly unbearable.
“Does any of it feel good… for you?” Because just the heat of her body soaking his cock was an intense pleasure for him.
She pulled in a sharp breath, her silver eyes becoming hooded as she looked between them again. “Yes… see this, right here?” He watched as she used her finger to draw a circle around the curious little button at the top of her sex. “It feels very nice. And later when you’re deep within me, that will feel nice too.”
She sounded sure of it.
It was time to trust her, the way she trusted him.
When she stopped her progress, he waited for her to relax, even brushing his knuckle over that magical spot she’d circled. She jolted at the sensation, sinking down a bit further.
Then without warning, he grabbed her hips to hold her steady, and punched his cock deep into her body. Once… feeling the resistance she warned him about. Twice… and she cried out as he broke past it, plunging into her warm depths.
Sensation overwhelmed him, but he somehow found her through the haze of pleasure. Her pained expression had him desperate to make it better, and his lips went to her neck as he held her close.
“You’re doing so well, bride. Hold on a little longer.”
Moving his mouth to her breasts, he kissed the tops, showing gratitude for those glimpses he’d been stealing for days. Dropping lower, he tongued one pebbled peak. It was harder than he expected. Closing his mouth around it, he sucked softly.
Did she like this?
When her hand threaded into his hair, holding him close, he thought she did. So he moved to the next one, giving it the same reverence.
The feel of her sex clenching on his told him something was changing and he looked up to find her hooded gaze on him.
“Better?” he asked, sweat breaking out under his fur. How long could he keep himself still when she felt so good? The need to fuck into her was near overwhelming.
“You did it exactly right,” she breathed, dropping a soft kiss to the bridge of his nose before dragging her hips back as if she intended to pull off of him.
No, not yet.
“Wait—”
But then she thrust back down, drawing him into her again.
Oh. Ohhhh.
He was spellbound, captivated by the way she undulated over him, every sway of her body ramping his need until he felt like he’d explode.
Too soon.
He wasn’t ready to be finished yet.
He would never be ready. If he could live inside her, he would forsake all to do so.
He had to stop her before she caused him to release.
Gripping her waist, he stood, keeping them locked together, and laid her down on the bed. Her fair hair spilled over the pillow, looking like a cloud of dreams. As he followed her down, he paused to take in the sight.
Drawing out of her sheath, he plunged deep again, swallowing her moan with a kiss.
And again, he dragged back to the tip, only to thrust home.
Faster, he went, his hips moving at a pace of their own choosing. One based on the response of her body lifting to seek his.
“Rolan…”
His name on her pretty, trembling lips caused his cock to twitch in her depths, but he thrust on.
“I think… I’m…” Her words ended on a guttural cry leaving him no notice of what was to come next.
All the air left his lungs as she clenched upon him, so tight his knees went weak. She was like a fist, squeezing and milking him, tempting him to release.
And then he did.
“Ahhh, bride of my heart,” he ground out, a warning tingle at the base of his spine. “I have never known such pleasure as this. The feel of your tender body holding me inside like this. Such a gift… such a… treasure.” He groaned, helplessly, locked in a spasm of pure bliss. “Bless the Ancients.”
In a blink, his life passed through his thoughts, quick beats that matched that of his heart—the pain and despair, the hopelessness and scorn, the endless loneliness—none of it mattered any longer.
Because it brought him here. To this, with her.
And he would endure it all again for one moment, one single breath, of what she’d given him.
Love.