Chapter 7.3
“No like Gofur?”
His head tilted as he eyed me. He was trying to look innocent and failing. He knew damn well I fucking liked him.
My thighs clenched and I shook my head. “Don’t be ridiculous, you know I love yooooo-all the time we spend together.”
I tried to save it but the look in those pretty blue peepers told me what fat lot of good that did me. Fuck me. “I’m in a sort of- well, I was- I’m, ah, getting out of a… a secret affair with someone. No one can know about it. It’s- It’s- A super big secret that you can’t tell anyone.”
I tried not to cringe at that but it sounded so stupid when I said it out loud.
Sitting back on his haunches to get a better look at me, I felt totally naked as the male eyed me. “Jo likes seemcrets?” he asked.
“Erm…”
How did I answer that? It was fine when it worked, but now that it wasn’t, not so much. “I don’t know,”
I haltingly admitted.
True to form, he was patient, maybe too patient, letting me work this out while he gently rubbed my ass, distractingly so.
“I like good secrets,”
I settled on finally.
Nodding, he licked his lips, peeks of sharp canines gleaming in the low light. “Good secrets,”
he repeated, like he was mulling this over.
“You’re too sweet,”
I tried to reason with him. “I’d chew you up and spit you out. How many times did we have this conversation before you realized we were better off friends?”
With a groan that bordered on a snarl, he dipped his head, pressing it into my belly. Mumbling something under his breath in his native tongue, he gently shook his head. Hot air puffing from his nostrils tickled my belly, causing me to suck it in sharply.
The rumble that left him rattled my brains, among other parts of my anatomy.
“We can’t,”
I whispered. “It wouldn’t- It wouldn’t, uhm, be fair to you… It wouldn’t. Y-y-y-you don’t want to be sandwiched in the middle of this chaos, burdened with a billion things, secrets, bullshit, all of it. You don’t, I- Argh- What are you doing to me?”
My voice tapered off onto a choked whisper. Fuck, my ass was weak.
It started off as a gentle nuzzle as I spoke, listing all the reasons why we were a no-no, a deep inhale, another nuzzle followed, this time a little lower, then his teeth skimming the skin near my belly button.
That first lick did me in, wet heat gliding across my lower belly, threatening to dip further. Long fingers with short but sharp claws found the rolled up waistband of my panties and followed them around to the sides of my hips, his thumbs slipping in, hooking on the material as he nuzzled and nipped his way along my flesh and it was slowly, methodically dragged down along with.
My hands fell to his hair, slipping through the silky mass, gripping it one moment, eliciting a snarl from him for my efforts, to pet him as he slid down farther the next.
“I- I’ve chosen to be single for a while, you know? Work on Joanie for a bit. I- Ack! G-G-Go’!”
As if shouting out my shortened version of his name was just the added push he’d needed as his thumb began to stroke down my upper thigh, so close to my center as his face nuzzled, nipped, and laved its way lower, like it was a race to see who could get their first, he had yanked the front of my panties down, the sound of elastic and cotton giving loud over the excited rumbles vibrating me into next week, one moment I was covered while he nuzzled right over that throbbing pearl of a button, the next his mouth was on my bared skin, no barriers between us, that first lap at my clit enough to send me crying out.
With a snarl that vibrated right against that overly sensitive nub, he dove in, suckling it into his mouth as his tongue dipped to lap up the slick weeping from my slit.
“Oh god. Oh god… Oh- Oh- Oh god! GO’!”
I tried to be quiet, bit my tongue until it bled to hold it back, but he was like a male starved.
Before I knew what was what, he’d pulled me to him, jerking one of my legs over his shoulder, holding me open to him, while he growled into my pussy. Tongue buried deep, vibrating away as he snarled to his heart’s content at the taste of me, it felt… incredible, even better than my battery operated boyfriend.
Before I could wrap my head around any of this, I was coming so hard it hurt, muffling a wail as my nails bit into his scalp, resisting the urge to suffocate him with my lady bits via grinding them into his face.
Legs like jelly, I started to tumble the second he pulled back and made to stand. “Need a minute,”
I garbled out as I began to crumple.
Goph was on it, scooping me up with a happy rumble before I could kiss the ground.
Looking like he wanted to say that possessive little four letter word, MINE, he laid me out on the bed gently, divesting me of my panties, socks, slippers, and pants, to stand back, eyeing my sprawled out, noodle limbed form with evident self-satisfaction.
Unease started to slither in when he simply stood there, studying me, like he was debating his next move.
Goph was not a dummy. If anyone was going to get me to the altar, if his sheer determination didn’t, the guy was cunning as fuck— I’d seen him dealing with more difficult Lo denaii a time or two, namely Bum-bum. He was the village smooth talker, unless you were a gigantic headache like Rek.
That sharp blue gaze missed nothing, finding a sudden interest in my sparse hut. Rek had all but cleaned me out, just to get my attention, the petty bastard. I’d bit my tongue only because I’d known it would piss the green-eyed idiot off.
I could only guess what Gopher was thinking.
Approaching the bed, he leaned right over me, placing a knee on the bed to support his weight. Speaking in Lo denaii, he reached out, brushing a hand along my face.
No clue what the feck he was saying, I just laid there, staring up at him, and soaked in the bit of sweetness offered. Man, what this might have been like. If he was like he’d been a few minutes ago, all gruff and in charge, demanding, there maybe, mighta been a chance for us. It just goes to show how funny the truth of things can be. Lo denaii only mate one? Pfft. Not from what I’ve seen.
They’d take what they could get, and keep coming back if you let them. And if they were wily like Rek, they’d use everything they learned about you against you to keep you in line.
Considering what had just gone down with Goph, knowing full well we were a no go, to me, just further proved my point.
At least they weren’t cheaters.
“Jo? Where go?”
he whispered, leaning in. He was so close, the heat of him washing over me.
Eyeing him, that look in his eyes, I shivered and bit my lip. “Goph…”
Shaking his head, he went for broke, taking what he wanted, capturing my lips with his. I could taste myself on him, his lips eating at mine eagerly as I clung to him.
His length bobbed thickly between us, hard, long, raring to go. He made no move to make use of that monster, reaching around beneath my pillow instead, unearthing an equally girthy friend of mine. “Jo seemcret,”
he teased between heated kisses, leaving my lips to start working his way down my jaw, that sensitive spot near my ear, settling on tormenting my throat. The loud buzzing of BOB turning on made me jump. I’d nearly forgotten about the damned thing.
BOB? BOB who?
Cold, hard plastic trailed down my side, then lower, coasted over my hip, buzzing like a menace all the while, anticipation building. Goph’s asked me about BOB before, and we’d looked at it as educational enlightenment, going into lengthy detail of the whats and whys of it. That all came full circular as he used it to his advantage. Soft groans that mirrored my moans leaving him rent the air as he brought that buzzing monster down between us, teasing it near my opening, gently pressing the butt of it against his testicles.
It was hot watching him wield that thing, not gonna lie, even hotter as he slid it through my juices, growling as he watched and his cock jerked, getting it nice and slicked up, teasing me with it beyond all reason, before tipping it until the tip slipped lower, notched at my entrance, and slowly slid home.
He was gentle at first, exploring, enjoying the intimacy, slowly pumping BOB in and out of me, leading the show.
When my hips started to buck and I urged him to go harder, faster, play with my clit, he pressed hard once, twice, his thumb brushing my clit, and pulled the damned thing free the second my channel started to pulse.
“No-No-No- I-”
I’d started to say, my words tapering off as he sucked BOB down his throat, sucking me off of it like a pro. His rumbling growls were so loud they hurt my ears. His pupils were huge, so blown out they were rimmed in a sliver of blue. I should be worried, concerned by the animalistic way he was starting to sound, his growls growing guttural but, honestly? I liked it.
As if aware of just how much his companion was into it, BOB went one way, flying over his shoulder to buzz on the floor, as he pounced.
Not sure what to expect, I flinched but squashed the shocked yelp threatening to pop free as he leapt atop me.
Gripping my sweatshirt, it was removed from me with one loud rip, then my shirt, and the tank top I’d started wearing in lieu of a bra next. In seconds I was naked, bared to him, feeling like a taken woman in an erotic fantasy. I shouldn’t be loving this shit as much as I was, should I?
Right now, in this moment, not one single fuck was given as his hungry gaze met mine.
“Goph…”
I started to say, but he growled down at me, almost sounding angry or something.
Dropping down atop me, he curled his arms around my shoulders, burying his face in my nape to nuzzle into it and inhale deeply. Shifting atop me, his legs slid between mine, the thickness between his legs unsheathing as he slowly rubbed it against my inner thigh.
“Mine,”
he grumbled, his voice muffled into my nape as he began lapping at my throat. I felt that shit like he was lapping at my pussy, instantly throbbing in anticipation. I wanted this. I was done trying to pretend otherwise. Give it to me, now.
“Fuck me,”
I finally huffed out, shoving my fingers into his hair to jerk his head from where his face was pressed against my throat, teasing me beyond all reason, to smack one on him that had him snarling so hard my lips tingled.
As if my wish was his command, taken quite literally, perhaps too literally, he grabbed hold of my hip in one hand, reached between us with the other, and lined us up to press his advance. The second the heat of him kissed the heart of me, he growled, the sound long and low, and slammed right home like it was nobody’s business.
We both cried out, his cock already starting to jerk, liquid heat rushing my channel, my sheath spasming in equals parts fuck yes and oh my fucking god what?! from his abrupt entry.
Before I could recover, he’d started moving. Harder, faster, grabbing my shoulders to pin me down into the bed as he screwed me senseless.
He was wild, unhinged. I loved every minute of it.
My hands slid to his biceps, digging in as he pounded into me, my bed creaking noisily with every pummeling thrust. His growls grew louder, and louder, until it drowned out all else, our bodies slapping noisily together.
His eyes were eclipsed in black as he snarled down at me to his heart’s content. They grew even louder as he leaned in, as if to lunge at me, dropping over that sweet precipice with me, giving me all he had. My head tipped, offering him my throat as he humped me right through my orgasm and headed for another, dragging it all out.
A sharp noise left me as his fangs sank deep, a loud cry as pain came riding up on the heels of all that pleasure. But he kept going, holding on as he took me to the edge of yet another earth shattering climax.
I loved that while he was well endowed, he wasn’t monster peen enormous. He could give my bits a lickin’ and we could keep on kickin’.
As everything slowly settled, I found myself petting him, whispering sweet nonsense as he slowly came back to me.
He’d gone feral on me for a minute there, it felt like, but fuck if I hadn’t loved every minute of it. Merawr.
Rethinking all of my stupid preconceived notions as to why we couldn’t work, I turned my head as he finished lapping at the bite marks on my neck, rumbling happily all the while, and pressed a kiss to his furry shoulder.
My hands started to run up and down his back, urging him to stay just like this, if only for a little while longer.
Just when it felt like he was mellowing out, he jerked back, eyes flying open from where he’d been lapping at my wound, he licked his blood smeared lips and jolted.
“Hey, you okay there, babes, you’re looking kinda… out of it?”
I asked softly, staring up at him worriedly.
“Hoh.”
A softly puffed exclamation left him as he glanced from my surprised, concerned expression, to the clearly visible, still softly weeping teeth marks he’d left behind. “Hoh,”
he burst out, again and again, going from happy, hell yeah I did that, to Oh my fucking god what the fuck fuckity fuck fuck have I done?!!
I had it on the money when he started mumbling unintelligibly and tried to scramble away from me.
“Hey? What’s wrong?”
I went to reach for him but he waved me off. One hand went to his furry head, gripping his hair, the other slapping to his chest to pat it over and over repeatedly, like he was trying to wake himself from a bad dream.
Instantly feeling rejected, fighting the urge to burst into tears because, and I’d be saying this ‘til I died, HORMONES, I scrambled for my comforter. “Don’t look at me like that!”
I snapped finally.
Still mumbling and shaking his head, his junk still loose, partially sheathed, stuck half hanging out there and starting to crust with our combined juices in the cool room, he was looking like he’d just made the biggest mistake of his life, while I was just yanked from the best high of feeling like I’d just finally done something right for damned once.
I couldn’t just have this one, this once, huh, universal? You devious bitch.
“Well, don’t just stare at me like I have cooties, asshole. Say something or fucking leave!”
My voice cracked and I was totally shouting, I’m impulsive— I didn’t know what else to do.
Like getting a little weepy was the magic cure, his saucer sized widened blue eyes finally fucking blinked. “No. No-no-no-no,”
he mumbled, rushing me to practically crush me to him. “No-no-no,”
he kept saying over and over.
“We could have made a baby,”
I blurted. “I don’t want to remember bringing it into being with their daddy having sex regrets two seconds after the fact,”
I mumbled into his chest as I hugged him to me just as hard, if not harder.
“No-no-no,”
he said again, relinquishing his squeeze me to death hold to start rubbing my back and petting me comfortingly. “My Jo,”
he whispered, wavering between sweetly murmuring my name and whispering “no”
over and over again.
Nuzzling the top of my head, he placed reassuring kisses to the spot, rumbling softly, a pale imitation of his excitement of before. Buyer’s remorse? So damn fucking soon? Give a gal a chance to fuck up first, eh?
Burying my face between too very impressive pecs, my hands wandered over the vast expanse of furry back open for roaming. Lo denaii, even the slimmer ones, were all built big.
As his purr started to come into play, I pulled back, tipping my chin and puckering my lips slightly, smiling against his lips when they found mine and a deep rumble followed.
Now that’s more like it.
What on earth was all that the fuck about?
My hands slid lower, settling closer and closer to his lower back, then further down, as his freely began to rove my bare back and he murmured absolute nonsense at me, until my greedy fingers slipped over an adorable tush I had every intention of biting into playfully like it was a ripe apple at a later date, once he was over his oh my god I just got fucking mated panic attacks or whatever the hell that shit was—boys are weird. A spat of post stage fright wasn’t going to faze me.
Urging him down with me as I slowly started to lay back, a little bit, then a little more, at a time, until he was finally fully laid out over me, that not so little beast between his legs already cocked, locked, and loaded, I’d just started to move my hips, swiveling them enticingly, his rumbles started to get deeper, more guttural, our kisses deepening, his eyes doing that lovely blown out pupil thing like before, right before he got all wild and wooly on me, when he jerked back with a shout and literally threw himself away from me.
“What in the shimmy shimmy cocoa pop are you doing?”
I blustered, flustered. Gathering up the comforter to wrap it around me because despite the fire going it was still nipples turned to cut glass cold in this bish, I stood to hobble my way over to him but he shot up, barking at me in garbled beast speak. Waving his hands wildly as he spoke rapidly in his native tongue, the fact he was doing so lost on him as he lost it a little, like a vomiting panic attack splattering all over the place, sprinkling me with secondhand anxiety. He’d edged towards the door, still babbling, hand lifted, continuing to ward me off.
Taking the hint, I stayed put.
“I don’t know what I did- What’s wrong?”
I burst out.
Pausing mid ramble, he blinked, grunted, then jabbered out quickly in broken English, “Jo stay. Go’ no want- No want- No. No.”
Shaking his head wildly, he snarled when I dared to ignore his orders that I stay back.
He didn’t want what? Jerking like he’d just slapped me, I felt like the blood was draining from my face at those horrible words. No want. He doesn’t want me?
“Go’ go,”
he said quickly, pausing only right as he was about to rush out, snatching the door open, ready to make his escape, and caught sight of the look on my face.
My throat worked but I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I wasn’t getting any air. It was like it was all being sucked out of the room.
He hesitated all but for a second.
“Leave then!”
I bellowed after him, rushing him to shove him out and slam the door shut.
“Jo?”
he called out as I locked the door and pressed my back against it.
I was as pissed as I was crestfallen. Tears threatened but I was sick of them. Screw this emotional bullshit! Angrily forcing them back, I refused to let a single one fall. Not again.
“Fuck you!”
I shouted after him, lifting my hand to slam my fist into the door.
I kept this up until my left hand was a throbbing mess and his soft entreaties, cautiously calling out my name, were little more than a memory.
I just couldn’t win. It didn’t matter what I did.
Swiping the wetness leaking from my eyes that was absolutely not tears, damn it, my gaze kept darting to that stupid blocked hole under my bed.
Was I being too easy for beastdom? Was that it? Was I making it too easy for them to fuck and run? Was I just picking guys as messed up, maybe even more, than me? What the actual fuck?!
Picking myself up off the floor, I kept glancing off towards my bed, thinking of that stupid hole.
I couldn’t fix the gaping holes in my heart but… I could plug a known problematic one under my bed…? Remove the temptation of it entirely?
“Fuck it,”
I muttered, dressing, washing up, dusting my ass because why let everyone know I give the milk away for free?
I knew what I wanted. I just needed to quit thinking, well, it’s not exactly as I’d imagined but it’s good enough for me , because it so wasn’t. None of it was. It wasn’t me! I kept insisting, even though that little voice in my head asked, But are you sure?
“Yes, I’m fucking sure,”
I muttered, donning a fresh hoodie and franken-stitched jacket. Scowling, my gaze kept going to the hiding spot for the numerous pelts I’ve already collected. Waffling, I bit my lip.
I had to stop holding onto shit like this, allowing myself something to cling to. I needed to let the fuck go, just like they had.
If I wanted the whole shebang, I needed to hold firm, fight for it, not this bullshit oh, this might work . It was time to embrace this new era of Joanie, Glamazon 2.0.
Pulling the pelts out, I laid them out across my bed. My chest felt tight at the thought of getting rid of them.
I could do it. I could. But not today, I thought, quickly stowing them away again. I would, though. I had to. None of this was healthy and I felt like a crazy person.