Chapter Four
CHAPTER FOUR
T HE NIGHTMARES WERE BACK .
Carter had considered them long since gone, but after more than two decades’ absence they’d returned.
As always, they started benignly. He was casually strolling through Kuala Lumpur Airport, pulling up his boarding pass on his phone, when he heard his father’s voice.
‘Carter, look!’
Nonplussed, he turned and saw Grace, saw her passport lying on the floor.
Just like last time, he decided it wasn’t his problem.
Damn .
There was a feeling of obligation he could not ignore.
‘Grace!’ he called out. ‘Grace!’ he said again, and then remembered she couldn’t hear him.
Grace really was Sleeping Beauty now.
Instead of an airport bench she lay on a glass altar. There was no velvet rope parting them, nor a carpeted floor to cross, just dense jungle between them, and her passport was sinking into the swamp that surrounded her.
‘Grace!’
He tried to call out to her again. Warn her that she’d never get home if she lost it. That she shouldn’t be heading into the jungle in the first place. If she did...
Even in sleep, Carter did not allow himself to complete the thought.
Even in sleep, he refused to remember.
Instead he shot awake, as he’d trained himself to do decades ago, and snapped his eyes open.
Thankfully it took him less than a second to orientate himself—the dark wood, the high beams, and the background noise of a jungle that was never truly silent.
‘Damn!’
He sat up and hauled himself out of bed, ruing his decision to return—especially by river.
Washing his face, he saw the shadows beneath his eyes and blamed them on the lack of sleep.
For once, it wasn’t because of sex.
He’d wanted her badly, but he was a cold bastard at best.
And here he was at his worst.
So instead of bedding the gorgeous Grace he’d put that restless energy into something a little less destructive.
He’d told Jamal to go to bed and then had a few choice words with those movie executives...
He thought a swim might clear his head, so he went through his luggage and found running shorts his assistant would have packed and, having pulled them on, he grabbed a sarong and tied it on his hips.
His head was pounding, and not eased by the humid air as he stepped outside. Even the water was too warm as he dived in.
Morning hadn’t even broken, yet the day already felt far too long.
Grace wasn’t faring much better.
She was still cringing, of course, but Carter had told her he was leaving today, so hopefully she wouldn’t have to face the man she’d...
She’d what? she challenged herself as she walked towards the jetty.
She hadn’t dived into his arms or moved towards his mouth.
She’d just...
Hoped...
Thought that maybe...
‘Morning!’ Arif greeted her with a smile. ‘Felicity will be with you soon. Oh, and there’s a treat tonight,’ he told her, and pointed to the sky. ‘We’ll be meeting a bit later. Felicity will give you the details.’
‘Thanks.’
Then she saw Arif look over her shoulder.
‘Hey,’ he said, and a very fond smile lit his face. ‘Finally!’
Grace knew that the person behind her had to be Carter.
‘Arif,’ he said.
And she stood there as he joined them, braced herself to come face to face with him, but was woefully unprepared. As he came into view the sight of him, dripping wet and wearing only a sarong tied low on his hips, was a lot to deal with at this hour.
She had to fight not to look at his body, to ignore the long, yet muscular arms and the fan of black hair on his chest.
‘Morning.’ Grace forced a pleasant smile, only it wavered when she saw his pallor and the dark rings under his eyes.
He looked grey compared to the way he’d looked last night. So much so that had Arif not been standing there she might even have forced her own awkwardness aside and asked if he was feeling all right. Then again, she doubted he’d have appreciated her concern, for her smile wasn’t returned.
He just gave a vague nod, then addressed Arif. ‘I’ll get us both coffee...’
Grace felt her teeth grit at his cool dismissal and headed to the jetty.
‘Here she is!’ Felicity was clearly raring to go. ‘Okay, that’s everyone.’
As the boat pulled out she saw Carter and Arif were sitting opposite each other in the dining area, but quickly she looked away. It was their last morning boat trip. Tomorrow they were going on a jungle walk. And Grace didn’t want to waste this gorgeous day...didn’t want the highlight of her time here to be him.
As the boat made its lazy way along the river, the beauty of the new day greeted her. Herons skimmed the water, and the trees teemed with life, which at times they stopped to observe.
Watching the little silver leaf monkeys happily play—swinging, running along the branches and jumping—should make last night a little easier to forget.
And yet she kept remembering.
Little things...
The littlest of things...
How he’d looked—really looked—at her little video of the elephants. Told her how he’d once found a calf...
It hadn’t seemed as if she was boring him then.
And he was the first person she’d ever told about her mother.
Well, aside from Violet, her awful cousin, Tanya, as well as the doctors, nurses and...
Carter was the first person she’d told not because it was necessary to do so, but because it was a huge part of her life...
‘No luck!’
Felicity brought her back to the present. It would seem there would be no wild orangutans either.
‘Just a nest,’ Felicity added, putting down her binoculars and smiling at Grace. ‘I know you’ve been itching to see one.’
‘Not just one! I’d love to see a family,’ Grace admitted.
‘Oh, the males don’t hang around after mating.’ Felicity shook her head, and then punched her hand with her fist. ‘Hit and run.’
Grace blinked. She’d heard the blunt terminology from Arif, but it sounded rather more shocking when delivered in Felicity’s well-spoken voice. Then again, Felicity was a vet, and very earthy, and happily pointed out mating wildlife and so on. All the stuff that made Grace blush from her hair roots to her toenails when she thought about it...
It hadn’t last night.
Grace screwed her eyes closed, determined not to be so pathetic. Only as they headed back for breakfast, instead of scanning the trees for signs of life, she was back to dreaming about Carter, barely noticing that the boat had slowed, as it often did when they passed longhouses.
‘He’s very well camouflaged...’ Felicity told them, and Grace realised she must have spotted something as they drifted.
Hoping, hoping , that she was finally going to see an orangutan in the wild, she was about to look up when she saw that Felicity was pointing downwards.
‘How old...?’ Randy asked as Corrin focussed her camera.
‘Perhaps six months...less than a year...’
It was then that Grace saw the tiny crocodile, possibly the length of her forearm, his shiny skin yellow and brown, much like the muddy river bank, his little jaw wide open as he bathed in the morning sun.
He was cute, Grace thought, and attempted a joke. ‘You know what not to do,’ she said.
‘What’s that?’ Felicity asked.
‘Smile...’
Nobody got Grace’s little joke about the old song warning people never to smile at crocodiles, so she sat there blushing as Felicity first of all blinked in bemusement and then addressed the group.
‘Saltwater crocodiles are a huge problem for the locals. Their dogs and chickens are easy prey, but also small children, fishermen...’
‘The Bennett family...’ Randy drawled. ‘Three killed...’
‘Well, we don’t think the crocodile directly killed all three,’ Felicity said, in rapid defence of nature. ‘It’s believed that the father drowned trying to save his wife and baby boy...’ She spoke on about the new hunting rules that were meant to deal with the threat. Then, ‘That little fellow might look sweet, but he can grow to more than six feet in length and has a life-span of seventy years.’
‘Bennett?’ Grace checked—because wasn’t that Carter’s surname?
‘Probably happened before your time,’ Randy said, then looked to their guide. ‘Is the Bennett place where you’re based?’
‘It is.’ Felicity nodded.
Grace was trying to listen as Felicity explained about her grant, and her research, and how she was based at Wilbur Bennett’s home, yet try as she might to concentrate, her mind kept drifting.
Was it Carter’s family that had been killed?
Randy confirmed that it was. ‘Saw him at the pool this morning—you should see the mess of his back.’
‘That wasn’t from the crocodile attack,’ Felicity intervened, but to no avail.
‘Shame he’s going to turn it into a film set,’ Randy said. ‘Though you can’t blame the guy for wanting nothing to do with the place.’
Felicity looked flustered, clearly trying to dampen the conversation down. ‘That’s just rumour and speculation...’
Things had moved way beyond rumour and speculation!
Arif had brought him up to speed.
‘I didn’t know whether to call,’ Arif admitted. Again .
Carter didn’t respond to those words, just poured another coffee as Arif spoke on.
‘I wasn’t sure you’d even want to know.’
‘Well, I know now,’ Carter retorted briskly. ‘And I’m on to it.’
They had discussed the issue for a good couple of hours, and Arif seemed less than reassured by Carter’s solutions.
‘Barristers, lawyers, attorneys...’ Arif gave a tight smile, clearly frustrated by the lack of direction and nervous about the path ahead. ‘The damage is happening now . We’ve even got some of the executives staying here at the resort, although they didn’t introduce themselves as such.’
‘I saw.’
‘They leave this morning, thank goodness. Though they prefer not to travel by river.’ He stared back at Carter. ‘They’re flying in and out from your helipad.’
‘Not this morning.’
‘There’s a boat booked to take them there; they have Benedict’s permission.’
‘Well, they don’t have mine.’ He told Arif what he’d done. ‘I had words with them last night—told them in no uncertain terms that I was in residence and denied them all access.’
God, but he loathed this joint ownership. Carter abhorred anyone encroaching on his space at the best of times.
‘I also made it clear that, whatever Benedict might have told them, I would not be selling.’
‘Good.’ Arif nodded, a touch mollified now.
Carter saw that the groups were starting to return from their trips and knew he and Arif were about to head to the office.
Or they should have been.
‘Are you okay, Carter?’ Arif checked.
‘Of course.’ He nodded, realising Arif had noticed his distraction.
He’d caught sight of Grace helping herself to breakfast.
She poured juice and selected fruit, and as she turned she looked over, just for a second, her lips parted as if she had a question. But then her mouth snapped closed and she turned her back.
Good, Carter thought. Turn away now .
He was leaving for his grandfather’s residence after this day with Arif, and anyway she was by far too sweet for a jaded cynic like him...
Even though things between him and Arif were tense there was a moment of relief as they moved to the office. He heard Arif let out a soft laugh at the sight of the executives mopping their brows as they climbed onto a boat to commence their long journey to the airport.
Carter barely noticed them. He could feel Grace’s gaze on his back, on his scars, and though he was more than used to it, he felt an aching need to turn around.
Instead, he headed into the office with Arif and there stared at maps of the river he’d rather avoid. Heard about the programmes being run, and the disruption his cousin and his contacts were causing...
‘Bornean banded pitta.’ Arif tapped at the map for perhaps the fiftieth time, this time mentioning a rare bird. ‘Abandoned three eggs...’ he told Carter. ‘And Felicity has data on the helmeted hornbill—so rare, but starting to return until the drones went up.’ Arif spoke with both knowledge and passion. ‘It’s a declining species.’
It was late in the afternoon when Arif suggested that they walk.
Carter, though still only in his sarong, nodded. There needed to be no delay for getting changed—it made no difference here.
The grounds were extensive, with a boardwalk that skirted the jungle. And beyond were tens of thousands of hectares—a relative drop in the ocean, and yet untouched and vital and so full of life. And what he was here to discuss.
‘How come you’re still working as a guide?’ Carter asked. ‘I thought you’d be too busy co-ordinating all the projects.’
‘I try to let the scientists do their work.’ Arif shrugged. ‘They don’t need me looking over their shoulders. Anyway, I already know there are two new baby orangutans this month alone on your land.’
Carter thought of Grace and how she ached to see them in the wild—and, while this Felicity might be right about the jungle not being a zoo, he wished Grace could have seen them.
‘Look...’ Arif said, and lithely leapt over the wooden fencing. He glanced back, as if expecting Carter to follow, though he made no comment when he didn’t.
Watching Arif disappear into the thick foliage, Carter felt a curl of dread, though he did his level best to ignore it. He stood scanning the trees, noting the freshly broken branches that had caught Arif’s attention, and then exhaled in relief when Arif reappeared.
‘Anything?’ he asked.
‘Pygmy elephant tracks. The groups saw them last night—that’s why they were late back...’
‘I heard.’
As they walked in silence, Carter again thought of Grace, and how last night he’d seen them through her eyes, as if for the first time. Her laughter and excitement, her sheer wonder, had brought some of the allure and the magic back.
If he could have made the journey here with his eyes closed he would have, or even kept them fixed ahead. Yet somehow Grace had forced them open, reminding him of better times...
‘Do you remember when I thought I’d found that calf?’ he said suddenly. ‘I was so sure it was lost.’
Arif laughed. ‘The herd was watching. The mother would not have been pleased if you’d approached him. She’d have attacked.’
It was the first real conversation they’d had about times prior to the incident...a time where they’d been just kids and friends...and Carter quickly regretted it—because Arif pounced.
‘Do you ever think of going back into the jungle—to where it happened, to where you were found?’ Arif asked, as he always did. ‘My father is too old now, but I would come with you, of course. It’s the anniversary soon—it might help you...’
‘With what?’ Carter challenged. ‘I survived and I’m grateful. I’ve moved on with my life. I don’t see the point of going there.’
As well as that, he did not need any reminder of the looming date.
They arrived back at the resort as dusk was falling. ‘Stay for dinner,’ Arif invited. ‘It’s the new moon, so we’ll eat a bit later tonight, but we’d love you to join us.’
‘I think it better that I head for the property,’ Carter declined. ‘I’ll get straight on to Jonathon and tell him to progress things.’
He glanced around the resort and knew that his restless eyes were looking for Grace. Yes, it would be better by far to get the hell away.
‘We’ll catch up soon. I’ll keep you informed.’
‘I’ll have your things moved to your boat...’ Arif said, but then hesitated. ‘First, though...’ he nodded in the direction of his office ‘... I have something that is yours.’
Carter frowned.
‘Give me a moment,’ Arif said. ‘I’ll just ask Jamal to excuse us.’
Carter was not used to waiting outside anyone’s office, but he stood there, no doubt about to be delivered another lecture and to be told he wasn’t doing enough.
‘Hey...’
He looked up and there was Grace, her hair wild and curly, her lemon top bright. Her face, which had been pale at the airport, now had a light dusting of freckles across her nose. Compared to last night, her eyes seemed a bit guarded, but her soft voice told him she was pleased that he was still here.
Walk away now , he wanted to warn her, because his black heart would soon darken those clear green eyes.
But instead of walking she stood there. ‘I thought you’d gone,’ she said.
‘I’m about to.’
‘Oh.’
She was waiting for him to elaborate, but deliberately he did not. His eyes had left her face, trying to ignore the soft curves of her slender body, how her yellow top, damp from the humid air, clung to her small breasts and narrow waist and skimmed her flat stomach. Despite the warmth her nipples were hard—not obviously so, unless you ached to know them, touch them, taste them...
Even looking down at her sneakers did not ease his sensual thoughts, for her legs were smooth and beneath those sneakers he knew there were coral-painted nails. It was her voice, though, the slight uncertainty to her tone that he deeply ached to address. Yes, he wanted to admit to her, she was right...this attraction was real.
His words might be curt, but physically he was lying. His body was beckoning hers, his arms were aching to draw her in. His stomach was tight, aching to fight arousal, yet his nonchalant stance, leaning on the wall, denied the untapped passion that thrummed between them.
‘Well...’ Grace said into the long silence. ‘It was nice meeting you.’
He nodded.
‘I’d better go and get ready for dinner...’
Carter frowned, looked at the darkening sky. He knew the routines here, and that a new moon meant dinner would be served later, but he did not want to get into conversation.
‘Yep.’
He was abrupt in his dismissal, but better that she walked off a bit hurt and confused than that he take her by the hand and get her the hell out of here as he so badly wanted to.
‘Arif is ready for you.’ Jamal came then, and gave him a small, almost sympathetic smile. ‘It’s been nice seeing you, Carter.’
‘Thank you.’ He pulled himself away from the wall, barely glancing at Grace as he stepped into Arif’s office, with no idea what was to come.
It was just a small workstation, really. A desk with pictures of the various guides on the walls, along with their beloved wildlife, as well as the usual office equipment.
Arif was standing behind his desk and he asked Carter to close the door, then addressed him. ‘You asked the point of going back to where it happened?’
‘No,’ Carter corrected. ‘I said I see no purpose in me going back.’
‘You anger is misdirected.’
‘No.’
‘Yes,’ Arif insisted. ‘How can you fight for something you don’t love? You blame the land.’
‘I don’t.’ Carter closed his eyes. He did not want a lecture, and while he admired Arif, while they might have once been close friends, Arif did not have any deep knowledge of him.
‘You blame your parents, then?’
Carter stared ahead.
‘Yourself?’ Arif pushed, and their eyes met.
Carter’s flashed a warning for Arif to leave things.
‘I found this.’
Carter frowned when he saw Arif’s eyes fill with tears.
‘It is not mine to keep...’
He pushed a silk pouch forward on the desk and Carter glanced down. When he made no move to touch it, Arif opened the cord and slid a heavy band of solid silver onto the desk.
The walls seemed to fall, and the floor must have dissolved, for everything disappeared. And even though Carter didn’t touch it, in one blinding flash he saw perhaps a hundred occasions when he’d picked up this silver teething ring and handed it to Hugo. Seen his brother’s wide pink smile and that one tiny tooth, his little fat hand reaching out, clasping the ring and biting down on it.
His voice, when finally it came, was a raw husk. ‘Where did you find this?’
‘Close to where it happened.’
‘But every inch was searched...’ Carter argued the facts, but then halted, because that made him sound naive. Of course the jungle was not a neat field. ‘When?’
‘A year ago,’ Arif said. ‘Almost. I went back on the anniversary, I was placing offerings on behalf of your grandfather when I saw something glinting...’
Carter stared ahead rather than look down at the familiar silver as Arif spoke on.
‘I remember you once asking your mother if it would break his teeth.’
Now he looked down at the teething ring...so familiar. It had first been his grandfather’s, his father’s, his, and then Hugo’s. Polished to perfection for each new child.
The same had been done now. He could see Arif or Jamal must have spent hours lovingly making sure it gleamed.
And even though he still didn’t touch it, there was no damage that he could see. Apart from a few tiny scratches, it might be sparkling in the finest antique jeweller’s.
He wished he could pick it up, hold it, trace the little scratches on the silver that Hugo’s one little tooth had made. But he would not stand in an office and weep as expected. He did not know how to summon emotion on demand—for he’d rather have none.
‘I know you must—’ Arif started, but Carter stopped him right there.
‘You have no idea how I feel.’
‘That’s just it—you refuse to feel!’ Arif said.
He was perhaps the only person on the planet who would speak so bluntly to Carter, but they had known each other since they were both still called Ulat. They had spent summers together before tragedy had struck as well as after.
Arif picked up the teething ring and held it out to him. ‘You won’t even touch it?’
‘You should have left it there...’
‘Why?’
‘Because that’s where it belongs. With him. Undisturbed.’ Carter was not a suspicious person, but in this he was certain. ‘I think it should be returned.’
‘That is for you to decide.’
‘On the anniversary,’ Carter nodded, relieved it was about to be sorted, but Arif had misunderstood what he meant.
‘I have a conference on the exact date, but if you want me to take you in, then I shall cancel it.’
‘I meant for you to return it.’
‘No.’ Arif shook his head. ‘It is your property.’
Carter watched as he returned the teething ring to the pouch.
‘I shall have it packed along with your things.’
‘Fine.’ Carter refused to plead, and just stared at Arif. ‘I’ll be in touch.’
He walked out, refusing to look back, ready to board his boat and get away. But he had to wait for his things, and as well as that he needed to breathe before facing that journey.
Damn you, Arif...
He strode past the deserted dining room and out to the boardwalk, then leant against the wooden rail and stared up at the dark near-moonless sky. He did not want to be here. God knew if Benedict turned up now then he’d be tempted to just sign over the place if it meant he could get the hell out...
Then he heard a sharp, panicked intake of breath and, turning around, realised it was Grace walking towards him and that he’d scared her.
‘It’s just me.’
Grace put her hand to her chest and exhaled in relief, but her heart was still hammering.
‘What are you doing out here?’ he asked.
She shrugged and went to walk on, still hurt by his dismissal, but she didn’t want to look churlish. ‘I messed up with the tour,’ Grace admitted. ‘I knew the times had changed tonight, but I thought dinner was before we went out.’
‘It’s a new moon,’ he explained.
She frowned, not understanding.
‘Didn’t Felicity tell you?’
‘Probably,’ Grace said. ‘I wasn’t really listening.’
She certainly wasn’t about to admit she’d spent most of today trying not to think about him.
Now, standing in the oppressive, humid air, she saw the tension on his features.
Heard his silence.
‘I’ll leave you in peace.’ She started to walk off.
‘There’s no peace to be had here.’
Grace paused and, given what she’d found out today, she understood why he felt that way.
‘Someone on the tour said something about...’ She took a breath and made herself ask. ‘Was it your family who were attacked?’
‘Yes.’
‘I’m so sorry.’
‘It was a very long time ago.’
‘Even so...’ It was too dark to read his features, but he must have seen her eyes move to his scar. ‘Felicity said...’
‘There are a lot of rumours. None of them true. I was there, and even I don’t know what happened.’
She waited, but he didn’t elaborate or tell her what that meant.
Even the thought of him having been there made her shiver. She doubted he’d appreciate knowing that, so she quickly blamed her shudder on the dark night.
‘I feel as if a hundred pairs of eyes are watching me.’
‘Thousands,’ he corrected.
‘Don’t.’ She gave a nervous laugh. ‘Really?’
‘Of course.’
There was the sudden hoot of an owl and a rustle of the low bushes nearby and she moved a little closer to the other human present. Only the other human present startled her more than the jungle at night, because he placed a hand on her bare arm and the contact was electric.
‘It’s fine,’ he told her, when there was a loud crash in the trees behind them. ‘It’s just your friends the elephants.’
‘How do you know?’
‘I used to...’ He halted. ‘I used to know these things.’
They looked out into the night and listened for several moments. The silence between them was far gentler now, and his eyes were narrow, yet alert, as the noise faded into the distance.
‘Aren’t they too close?’ Grace asked. ‘I mean...’ She looked at the wooden fence that lined the boardwalk.
‘It’s their land,’ Carter said, and they both turned to lean on the fence. ‘The staff are all aware. If they get too close they’ll try to move them back. They’re quite a way away.’
He looked at her properly then. She was wearing her sarong, and it was the first time he’d seen her with her hair down. He knew he’d hurt her, and it pricked his conscience.
‘I was short with you before,’ he said. ‘I apologise.’
‘It’s fine.’
‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘You didn’t deserve it.’
Now it was Grace who turned and looked at him.
‘I can see why you don’t care what happens to your grandfather’s home, but...’ She swallowed. ‘It’s just sad to think of it changing.’
‘What did you hear?’ he asked, then guided her so that she stood in front of him.
He moved her so easily, Grace thought, and she went so easily. It was as if the wooden floor beneath her feet was air, or she was skating on ice.
Not that she’d ever skated. But even so the thought made her smile as she faced him—or was it the simple relief that they were talking again and alone? His scent cut through the dank humid air, and they were staring at each other as intently as they had the moment they met.
‘What’s everyone saying?’ he asked.
‘That you’re going to have a film crew come here.’ She looked for a reaction but got none. ‘It would be a shame to spoil it.’
‘Arif would concur.’
She must have heard the edge to his voice. ‘Did you two just have an argument?’
‘I guess you could call it that.’
Carter didn’t tell her what it had been about, though, and nor did he tell her the plans were his cousin’s, deciding that in this case perhaps it was better the devil she didn’t know. A sell-out and a power-hungry rat she would possibly be able to fathom more easily than a man whose heart had turned to stone at the age of eight. A man who was a cold, empty shell, who could crush a pretty soul like Grace’s in the palm of his hand.
Yet she stood as if undaunted—in fact she disputed the supposed evidence.
‘It’s just rumours,’ she added.
And in her sarong her shoulders were near naked, her dark curls were still wet from the shower, and he didn’t care about the rules tonight.
‘I missed you last night,’ he told her.
She let out a short, incredulous breath, minty and fresh, and he looked down at the mouth he had forced himself to deny.
He could deny it no more.
Grace found out not only what she’d missed last night, but all she’d been missing. For when his mouth lightly grazed hers, she almost folded inside at the slow, sensual contact.
He could have kissed her the moment she met him, Grace now knew, as her lips brushed his, parting a little. It might have been described as a light kiss, but it was potent, for no contact was broken and she closed her eyes to the heady bliss.
As his hand slid to her waist he pulled her into him. The slip of his tongue, her involuntary moan, seemed to inflame him, as if he’d been waiting for this kiss for a very long time.
So, too, had she.
His kiss was masterful, honed to perfection, and when she closed her eyes, when she sank into sheer bliss, Grace didn’t even care how those skills had been acquired, she just relished their application.
He tasted her, curled her tongue, sucked the tip, so slow and thorough. And that combined with the expensive scent of him, and the heat from his naked torso, had her coveting more of him. She pressed her hands on his bare chest—not to push him away, just to feel beneath, to touch him and feel the fan of hair—then moved them up to his hair, simply to feel more of him.
There was no comparison to the teenage kisses she’d known. It felt like a discovery as she simply allowed the passion in. His hands were more specific—one came to her breast and felt it through the flimsy fabric. She should remove his hand, Grace knew, tell him it was too much, too soon. Only it wasn’t enough, and it was by far too late, for she’d ached for this since last night.
She felt her stomach tense low down as he lifted her hair and kissed her neck with the same deep attention he had given her mouth. His hand left her breast and pulled her closer in, and possibly he lifted her a little, for her bare feet felt as if there was no ground beneath them.
Her eyes were closed, her mouth frantic. ‘Why didn’t you kiss me last night?’ she breathed.
‘Shh...’ he said, kissing down her neck towards her shoulder. ‘I’m kissing you now...’
‘Why?’ she asked again, still bemused, only more so now. A night and a day of frustration had her demanding answers and she moved her neck so they faced each other, breathless, mid-kiss, suspended in want. She could feel where his mouth had been, and watched as he pondered her question.
‘Because you don’t know me.’
‘You don’t know me either, Carter,’ she responded. Because if he knew she had never been touched, or the true chaos of her life back home, then she was certain he’d be gone.
‘If you did know me, you’d know we can go nowhere. I don’t do relationships.’
‘So, you think with one kiss I’d assume we were in a relationship?’
‘Grace, I think we both want more than one kiss.’
She swallowed, more than aware of her own desire. Certainly she could feel his, wedged against her stomach, beguiling and tempting.
‘As I said, you don’t know me. I don’t get involved.’
But, again, Carter didn’t know her either.
They really were going nowhere.
In a few weeks she’d be back home, facing the problems she’d left behind, and right now she felt this rare liberty—as if this was the only real chance she had to be free, to know herself, to be with another person as the woman she wanted to be.
She knew, too, as she had on sight, that she did not belong in Carter’s world, and nor did he belong in hers.
They met tonight, in this rare, sultry place, and for the first time in so many years she wasn’t scared about tomorrow.
‘Yes.’ Grace nodded. ‘I do want more than a kiss.’
He slid his hands down her hips, held her bottom, while his eyes never left her face.
‘We can go back to my grandfather’s place,’ Carter said, then added, ‘Take my boat.’
She pulled her head back. ‘I thought...’ She swallowed. ‘Can’t we go to your suite?’
‘Here?’ He frowned taking her face in his hands, looking right into her eyes.
‘Please.’
‘Are you a quiet lover?’ he asked, and she felt her cheeks burn beneath his palms.
‘I don’t know,’ Grace responded. ‘Maybe?’
It was the closest she could come to telling him she’d never made love.