Chapter 19
nineteen
Three hours and two glasses of whiskey later, we’re all sitting around the fire pit dug into the sand in the backyard.
Beck’s dad came home about half an hour after we landed, and I’ve learned dropping in on his parents is something he does frequently.
When he has the time for that, I have no idea.
Claire, Beckett’s mom, asked me dozens of questions about my life, about Jaxon, about anything and everything she could as she prepped a seafood stock she said would be for dinner tomorrow.
If I had known I’d be meeting Beckett’s parents tonight, I probably would’ve panicked about it all day, so I’m almost glad this was a surprise.
“Tell me about this boy of yours, Willow. Seventeen? That’s a great age.
” Beckett’s dad, John, asks. He looks like every other guy working at Grovewood Ink, tan and tatted, just older.
He’s relaxed in an Adirondack chair, one hand gripping his crystal whiskey glass and the other hand holding his wife’s.
Beckett’s dad is a tattoo artist, and I’ve learned he was the driving force in the guys opening the shop in the first place.
Claire is the most naturally beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
Her brown hair is peppered with gray, falling in soft curls around her shoulders.
She has it half pulled back in a small clip, just looking over at her husband like he’s the only man on earth.
And for her, I supposed he is. I know that feeling.
I feel it every time I see her son. As if he knew I was thinking about him, his hand grips the back of my neck, massaging gently.
I can’t keep my smile from breaking through, knowing his touch melts me every single time.
“Oh, what can I even say about Jaxon. He is…everything,” I say, an adoring smile gracing my face.
My son truly is everything. He is all the good and kind things I ever want to see in this world.
He is strong and smart, wild and unruly.
Every single perfect piece of him is exactly what I always hoped he would be. Just himself.
“He’s an incredible artist. Really, really talented, Dad.
And, surprisingly, a great mechanic for a kid.
He’s so fuckin smart. Honestly, I think he could give Break a run for his money when it comes to coding and math.
I’ve done my best to influence his taste in music as much as I can, though.
I think you’d be proud,” Beck smirks, and tears pool in the corners of my eyes.
I can feel the pride and love he carries for my boy, as if he were talking about his own flesh and blood.
And maybe to him, it feels the same. I try my best to blink them away, but Claire catches me, a soft smile on her face.
“Willow, do you think you can help me grab some fresh drinks? I think I could probably rustle up some apple turnovers, too, if you boys are interested.” Clair says, eliciting excited head nods from both of them.
Once the back door shuts and it’s just her and I alone in the kitchen, she pulls me into a warm hug.
At first, my body goes rigid, but I relax into her within moments.
I can’t remember how long it’s been since I had a motherly hug that warmed my heart so completely.
The feeling of missing my parents comes and goes so regularly for me after so many years, I’ve learned not to sit in the sadness.
If I do, I might never get back up again.
“Just felt like you needed that,” she says, pulling away. I give her a watery smile, wiping the tears from my eyes before they fall.
“Thank you. Hearing him talk about my baby that way… it’s just surprising.” I tell her, leaning against the kitchen counter as she pours two fingers of whiskey into John’s glass.
“Not to me. Meeting you has been a long time coming for us, my girl. We’ve heard stories about you and Jaxon for a few years now.
I know my son. He means every word he says.
He loves that boy like he raised him himself.
That’s perfectly clear to us.” Claire’s words soak into my heart, warming me from the inside out.
“Is this the part where you warn me about hurting him? Because I’d never hurt him, not if I could help it.
” I reply, knowing without a doubt I am in love with Beckett Hayes.
Every single thing about him is exactly what I’ve always wanted in a partner.
She laughs wholeheartedly, and the sound is so bright it’s infectious.
“If you were the kind of woman who needed to hear such things, you never would’ve made it to my front door.
I’m not sure if you know this about him, but my son is not the wildest bachelor in the world, honey.
He doesn’t waste time on women who aren’t worth it.
” She pulls a pan of turnovers from the oven, and the smell fills the kitchen around us.
This is what a family home is supposed to feel like.
Unconditional love, kind words, and apple turnovers.
“I don’t take your presence here lightly.
There was a time not long ago that I worried I would be the one burying my child.
That’s something no parent should ever have to face.
But Beck was lost when he left the Corps, and we knew he would be.
The guy needs a purpose in life, and he’d lost his.
The night I found him in the barn out behind our house, gun in one hand, curled up on the floor like he was dying from the inside out, I knew I couldn’t help him.
Not the way he needed, at least. I’ll be grateful every single day for the rest of my life to those men you call your friends.
They saved his life because that’s what brothers do.
” Her eyes are glassy with unshed tears, and I know mine are the same.
The idea that my beautiful, kind, selfless man ever felt like he wasn’t right for this world is devastating.
I make a promise to myself now that no matter how things turn out, I will always make sure he knows he belongs here, with me.
“They gave him a new purpose, something he could take pride in. And look at everything he’s built with it.
He and John built this house together. I was disappointed when he told us he was staying in Grovewood for good after that, but it didn’t take long to figure out why.
The boy was in love. He started casually mentioning you and Jaxon, then you became the stories he couldn’t wait to tell us.
Makes a mama feel good to know her baby is loved by a good person, by someone who will care for his heart the way he deserves.
And I know he has that in you. You just have to let yourself believe it,” she grins, reading my mind.
I know Beckett would go to the ends of the earth for me and for Jax, but the idea of loving someone that much is terrifying. I thought I loved Cooper that much, and it nearly killed me. But deep in my bones I know that what I felt for Cooper is nothing compared to the love I feel for Beckett.
“I love him,” I say, barely loud enough for her to hear.
“I know you do. And I can’t imagine how scary that is for you.
But look at that man, I mean really look at him,” she says, turning me around so we can see the guys laughing together out in the yard.
“He is not your past. He could never hurt you in that way. But he could be your future, if you let him. Bring those turnovers out with you when you come join us, will ya?” She gives my shoulders a motherly squeeze, picking up the glasses and walking back outside.
I’ve given myself, body and soul, to Beckett.
The future with him feels both unknown and completely certain.
He will love me the way his dad loves his mom.
The way I always deserved to be loved by a man.
And I will love him just as fiercely and thoroughly as long as I possibly can.
This is only the beginning of our life together, and I’m tired of being scared of it.
With my new found determination, I pick up the plate and walk outside.
Setting it on the table between his parents, I stand in front of Beckett, looking down at him as he relaxes with his family.
His smile is so easy, so natural, one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.
And I can’t wait to see it for the rest of our lives.
My hand skates across the stubble on his jaw, and he turns to kiss my palm.
Such a small gesture, but the kind of gentleness I’ve never had before him.
“I love you,” I tell him, my eyes never leaving his.
The smile that breaks across his lips is magnificent. I don’t even care that his parents are watching this moment. I’m tired of balancing on this knife’s edge between what I know I want and what I think I deserve. Beckett is mine, and I won’t let him go.
“I know you do,” he replies, winking back at me. His dad barks out a laugh behind us, and I hear his mom smack him lightly. “I love you, Willow. More than anything. I’ve just been waiting for your head to catch up with your heart.”
“You’re so cocky, you know that?” I laugh, falling into his lap. He shifts my legs over his, wrapping his arms around me as I lay my head on his shoulder.
“Not cocky, pretty girl. Just confident. I know what’s true and what’s not, and you’ve been in love with me nearly as long as I’ve loved you.” I can’t argue, because in reality, he’s right. I have.
He kisses my temple, and I enjoy the comfortable silence. Here around this fire pit in his parents’ backyard, the world seems to all make sense. If I could, I’d stay in this bubble as long as we possibly can.