Chapter 18
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Merrick
The air was thick with the Desories’ blood. The two creatures must have been nesting. I could still see their claw marks on the buildings across the way—the claw-like tail of one just feet from us. The stinger between the two bones was missing.
I had watched it pick Soren up like a doll through the gas station window, then fling his body backward. The noise of Soren’s fragile human frame smashing into the wall almost made my heart stop.
I hadn’t known that the Desori had stung Soren till I watched his knees hit the pavement and his body slump over. My blood had run cold.
The gas station that once looked almost welcoming now looked like a horror monument. Blood was splattered on the wall. Parts of the Desories’ bodies littered the pavement outside. Soren’s blood pooled against the ground.
With trembling hands, I held onto Soren’s small body, his once vibrant life now dulled by the insidious venom from the stinger in his back. Being slammed into the wall had lodged it deep. Even a few inches long, it was almost an inch in diameter. If I pulled it out, he would bleed to death. There was nothing I could do. The sight of his limp form in my arms invoked a surge of desperation, a primal need to ensure his survival.
“Run,” I pleaded to Roman after I had Soren’s hands tied to her collar. Roman’s scales would rub against the rope, slowly fraying them. I hoped they would hold, but I knew it was too late. I watched her muscles bunch up before she shot forward with the person who had become my soul draped on her back. Fate couldn’t be that cruel to take two Kealas from me.
Gagging back a sob, my knees hit the ground as Roman tore away with my Keala. My heart sank as I watched her take away the person who held my heart and whom I couldn’t save. I wrapped my arms around the child who had come to mean so much to me, Soren’s blood still on my hands. I pressed her close to me. I was panting through my sobs as the dread of what I knew about Desories sank in. The stinger in Soren’s back was a death sentence.
Desories’ venom was as deadly as it was rare. A few drops were toxic, and that beast had nailed its bristled spine right into my Keala’s body, the full amount of venom coursing through his veins, eating away at his life force. My stomach churned at the thought.
It was a death sentence I had failed to prevent. Just like Lirien. Just like our daughter. Soren’s blood seeped into the corners of my mind, staining it a dark, permanent crimson. A painful brand that would forever be a stark reminder of my failure.
I knew Roman wouldn’t make it to Arya in time. But what else could I do? I’d seen how fast that venom took effect. I’d seen bigger Gateros lose their lives from a more minor wound, and Soren wasn’t from my world. He was human. There was no way his smaller body would be able to fight it. I had failed him like I had failed Lirien.
I was going to lose another Keala, and I didn’t think I could live through it a second time. Losing Lirien had crushed me. Watching Roman take Soren from me reopened that wound, a scathing claw that tore the cavernous hole wider. It felt like I should lie down on this ground and let this world take my breath from my lungs.
Fate could not be cruel enough to give me a second chance just to tear it from my grasp, but I was again on my knees.
My body shook with violent sobs, keening cries echoing through the forbidding landscape. The world around me blurred, reality distorted by my tears.
The sense of loss was crushing, threatening to consume me whole.
But I was clutching a child who depended on me, surrounded by death and facing a reality too grim to bear.
Soren’s laughter echoed in my mind—a reminder of the happiness he had brought into my life, happiness I had forgotten even existed until he came along.
“Soren…” I whispered, the name barely escaping my lips. My chest felt like it was hollow from the pain. My soul was howling for my Keala to be brought back to me.
My body felt numb as Emily trembled in my arms, her breath hitching in silent sobs that pained me more than any wound.
I couldn’t shake the guilt that weighed heavily on my shoulders. Had I not been so careless, this wouldn’t have happened.
“He’s not going to be okay, is he?” the small voice asked.
I turn my face to Emily. Tears poured down her face.
“I… I don’t know.” I lied to her, my voice barely a whisper, my eyes locked on the ground as I struggled to suck in a breath past my grief. I could not honestly tell her I knew he didn’t have a chance. That the venom would end his life hours before they would even arrive at the shielded city. “But we must trust that Roman can get there in time.”
“I’m so sorry, Merrick,” she cried. Her boots were at the edge of my vision, and her apology confused me.
I looked up at her. “You did nothing wrong, Emily.”
“I chased the ball,” Emily said. I looked at Roman’s rubber ball, still clutched in her tiny fist.
“The Desories were already here, Emily. I should have seen the signs that they were in the buildings. I wasn’t paying attention.”
“He told me to stay close!” she cried, her voice raising in volume.
“Emily…” I started, unsure of what to say to the young girl. Her innocent eyes bore into mine, and my heart filled with sorrow. “It’s not your fault,” I finally whispered, my voice choking with emotion. “None of this is your fault.”
“But, I…” Emily began to protest, her bottom lip trembling as she clutched the rubber ball tightly. I cut her off gently, shifting to kneel before her.
“Emily, no.” I saw the guilt beginning to consume her. It was my fault—all my fault. Emily didn’t deserve to feel responsible.
“You did nothing wrong. It’s my job to protect you and Soren, and I failed.” My throat tightened around the words, and I gave her a half-hearted smile, my heart aching with regret.
“But—”
“No buts, Emily.” I grasped her tiny shoulders in my hands. “You are not at fault here. Do you understand?”
Emily nodded, but her eyes were still glassy with unshed tears. I saw the uncertainty in her gaze, the guilt still eating away at her young heart. Swallowing a lump in my throat, I pulled her into a hug. “Promise me, Emily,” I whispered, rocking back and forth slightly. “Promise me you won’t blame yourself.” I couldn’t have her blaming herself for the rest of her life if he didn’t make it. She didn’t need that weight on her tiny shoulders.
Emily threw herself onto me, her small body shaking with sobs.
“I-I promise,” she hiccupped, her hot tears soaking the front of my shirt. We stayed silent for a moment, each of us mourning a loss that was yet unsure but felt inevitable.
After a while, Emily pulled away and rubbed her eyes. Her gaze drifted to the place where Roman had disappeared into the distance, carrying our hope and fear along with Soren’s limp body.
“He…he’s strong, isn’t he?” Emily asked quietly, trying to find optimism amidst our despair. I looked down at her, my heart clenching at the pain in her young eyes.
“Yes.” I forced a smile onto my face. “Soren is very strong. Stronger than any of us give him credit for.”
I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tightly as if it would somehow shield us both from the pain. Then, she pulled herself out of my arms.
I sighed as Emily moved to sit next to me, placing Roman’s ball in her lap. She said nothing else, and I was grateful for the silence.
She wrapped her tiny arms around her knees, resting her chin atop them. Her blue eyes flickered towards me momentarily before she looked down at her hands.
“Merrick, if this isn’t my fault, it isn’t yours either,” she said to me, her small hands brushing away her tears.
I gaped at her, her words echoing in my head. “What…?” I started, but the lump in my throat made it hard to continue. I swallowed hard, fighting back the tears that suddenly blurred my vision.
“You said you failed. That it’s your fault that Soren got hurt.” Emily pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them. “But you told me it wasn’t my fault for chasing the ball because they were already here.”
Emily’s words struck me as simple and true, the wisdom of a youngling’s innocence cutting through my self-pity. I turned to look at her, her small figure huddled against the hard ground, her face streaked with tears and marred by the harsh realities of our world.
The venom was not of my doing, and while I had failed in protecting Soren, I was not the one who had struck him. Still, guilt gnawed at my insides like a living thing.
“Emily, it was my job to protect you both.” My voice was hoarse, choked with emotions I couldn’t suppress. Her blue eyes met mine, filled with sincerity, understanding, and forgiveness.
“And you did,” Emily whispered back. “You’ve always protected us, Merrick.”
Hearing her say those words was like a balm on a wound, yet it did nothing to quell the raging storm within me. The damage was done, and Soren’s fate was uncertain. Her hand reached up to brush the tears away from her face.
“But, Emily…” I began to protest weakly. She interrupted me with a shake of her head.
“No buts,” she mimicked.
She reached out a small hand, placing it on mine. I was stunned by her steady gaze, full of an understanding and wisdom that seemed eons beyond her years. “Soren would want us to be strong now.” I felt the tears welling up in my eyes again at her words.
A sigh escaped my lips as I ran a hand through my hair, the weight of her words settling heavily on my heart. I looked at Emily—this small child who had been thrust into a brutal world—and felt a pang of guilt. It was because of me that she was caught in this mess.
“Merrick,” Emily said, her voice shaky yet somehow resolute. “You and Soren have protected me more than anyone has.” Her eyes shone with sincerity. “My mother didn’t care what happened to me, but you guys searched me out when you saw me in that store. Found me. Fed me. Made sure I had clean clothes. That’s more than she ever did.”
I froze, my heart pounding in my chest. Emily’s raw honesty was like a punch to the gut. The reality of her words hit me hard, washing over me in waves of sorrow and revelation.
“Emily,” I managed to force out through a thick throat. “You don’t understand—”
“I do,” she interrupted, her voice small but no longer wavering. Her eyes bore into mine with a determination that defied her tender age. She swiped at the tears still staining her cheeks with the back of her hand. The ball was still clenched tight in her other fist. “You and Soren are my family now. You kept me safe.”
Her words washed over me, raw and honest. Her faith in us was touching, and I didn’t know how to answer her. This girl was just twelve and had seen more pain in her young life than anyone should.
Her vulnerability stoked a fire in me, an ember of determination dulled by guilt and self-pity. I allowed Emily’s words to sink in, their truth slowly chiseling away at my hardened heart. Yes, I had made mistakes, but the intent behind my actions was love and protection. I shouldn’t discount that.
“I…” I began again, but she shook her head, cutting me off.
“Promise me,” Emily implored, mirroring my earlier plea. “Promise me that you won’t blame yourself.”
I took in a shuddering breath, her words slicing through my self-recriminations like a lance. The strength in her voice was far greater than any twelve-year-old should possess. It was humbling and heartbreaking all at once.
“I promise.” The words came out more as a croak than a declaration. My voice echoed in the eerie silence of the burned-out buildings around us.
“You promise?” Emily asked again as if to make sure my words were valid.
“I promise,” I repeated more firmly this time, locking my gaze on hers.
Seeing Emily’s quivering chin brought me back to our current reality. Her tiny fingers gripped Roman’s ball so tightly that her knuckles had turned white. She wouldn’t meet my gaze now, her eyes staring unfocused into the darkness beyond us.
She was filled with a hard-won maturity that broke my heart. She was too young to be this wise, too young to have experienced so many horrors.
“Emily,” I began, swallowing against the lump in my throat. “You’re stronger than you know. And no matter what happens, Soren and I… we love you. You’re family to us.”
The words echoed in the silence, bouncing off the crumbling buildings around us. Her red-rimmed blue eyes met mine, and her small hands loosened their iron grip on the rubber ball. I could see her struggle to maintain her brave facade as she blinked back tears.
“Really?” Her voice was small and shaky.
“Really,” I affirmed, reaching out to envelop her in a hug. “You are family, Emily. You are my daughter now. I will always be here for you,” I promised her.
Her lips trembled before stretching into a grateful smile. “Thank you, Merrick.” And she threw herself into my arms, burying her face into my chest. I could feel the dampness from her tears seeping through my shirt.
The guilt still gnawed at me, but Emily’s words made me realize that my self-pity would not change our situation. The past was the past, and nothing could change it. All we could do now was move forward. And if I wanted to do that, I had to get us to New Pharia, get us to Arya, and face whether or not my Keala had lived.
That thought made my chest tighten. A distant howl echoed around us. Emily pulled back. I turned my head towards the direction Roman had gone. Sound traveled far out here.
“Was that Roman?” Emily questioned.
“I don’t know,” I answered. We both sat silently for a moment, our ears straining to pick up on any other sound that might give us a clue. The eerie quiet that had once been an uncomfortable background to our lives now felt like an oppressive weight, pressing in on us from all sides. “But let’s get moving. We should reach the city at nightfall.”
With that, I stood up and offered her my hand. Emily nodded, gripping it tightly and hauling herself to her feet. I walked over to my Kitous and picked up my weapon. Holding the familiar weight of the beautiful weapon made my chest hurt with memories of Lirien. He would have loved Soren. So much. What would he tell me right now? I hadn’t heard his voice since he had told me to go with Soren.
“Merrick, are you okay?” Emily’s voice pulled me back from the memory. The thought of Lirien was pushed to the back of my mind.
Emily held Soren’s bag in her small hands. I could see her trembling, adrenaline sapping what little energy she had. Walking over, I took the bag from her hands and spun the memory fabric around my chest.
“I have an idea,” I said with a tight smile. “Can you hold this for a second?” I held out my Kitous. She took it in her small hands.
“Holy fuck, this thing is heavy,” she said, almost dropping the large weapon.
“Language, Petal,” I scolded her as I lengthened the straps on the bag before I realized I had called her the nickname I had used for my daughter. My hands stilled on the fabric. I waited for the panic to begin, but it didn’t. Instead, a calm seeped into me. I looked at Emily briefly to see if the name would bother her, but she just smirked at me. Clearing my throat, I continued. “Here, step into the straps.” I positioned the bag on her back. “I’m going to carry you.”
I watched as she stepped through the straps.
“Are you sure?” Emily asked, her voice small. Before she could protest further, I scooped her up off the ground and adjusted her on my back, her legs dangling by my sides. Her arms wrapped around my neck timidly as if she was afraid she’d hurt me. “You’re not hurt—”
I looked over my shoulder at her with a small smile.
“Yes, I’m sure,” I replied simply, not trusting my voice to carry more words. My heart was still heavy, but I couldn’t let her walk the rest of the way—not when she was already so exhausted physically and emotionally.
Once she was secure, I took the weapon from her hand before I threaded my arms through the straps and tightened them down so she was strapped onto my back.
“Hold on to me, Emily,” I instructed as I straightened up. The weight of her slight frame against my back was a comforting presence. It was a reminder that I wasn’t carrying this burden alone.
She clung tightly to me, her small hands balled into fists against my shoulders. “I’m ready,” she said from over my shoulder.
I gently wrapped my hand around her small one, prying the ball from her grip before tucking it into my pocket.
We began to move through the desolate landscape once again.
I had been walking for several hours when the smell of blood on the wind made me pause. Emily was asleep on my shoulder, her body held up by Soren’s backpack. I stood on the abandoned highway, trying to figure out what to do.
If I could smell the blood from this far, I knew that there had to be a few bodies ahead. My stomach was in knots as I continued walking.
I had sent Roman in this direction. She was just a kit, and though her species was powerful, even I knew that humans had weapons that could cause her trouble.
Ignoring the stench and the rising tide of panic, I forced myself to keep walking. I had to believe Roman had been able to get Soren to the city safely.
The highway was eerily quiet, the only sound being the crunch of gravel under my boots. My senses were in overdrive, the scent of blood growing stronger with every step. It wasn’t long before I saw them.
A group of bodies lay scattered haphazardly along the deserted highway. Their clothes were torn and bloodied, signs of a struggle evident in their twisted limbs and gaping wounds.
It felt like I couldn’t breathe as I studied the surrounding area.
I tried to see if any of them were Soren. My eyes traced the small Rizuga prints to a scuffle in the ground. The drag marks told me that something had taken Roman down. I was sure of it. Sure that whatever had happened, Soren’s body was somewhere here on this ground. Sweat beaded down my face as I tried to find him. My pulse rushed through me, making my limbs shake.
There was a severed human head on the highway. Long black hair pulled back into a ponytail made my heart feel like it had plummeted from my chest. I covered my mouth to keep the cry of anguish inside me.
I struggled to breathe. My lungs refused to expand. I stared at the hair blowing gently in the breeze, strands moving softly. The person’s face turned towards the dirt so I couldn’t see their features. I couldn’t get any closer with Emily on my back.
Taking an unsteady breath, I tore my eyes away and walked around another body. The corpse was face up and blond. Something had ripped him to pieces, eating away the soft flesh of his belly. Huge, heavy paw prints resembling another Rizuga traveled through the human blood back to the highway. I swallowed nervously as I moved away from the body, keeping off the side of the road and following the trail of blood to several human vehicles.
A dozen men lay in pieces around the vehicles. A vast cage was hooked up to the still-running truck. Gray blood was smeared inside, as was Rizuga blood. It was clear that these men had attacked Roman. They had prevented my Keala’s only chance at survival. He never would have made it to New Pharia if these men had attacked them. Tears filled my eyes that I had lost him. Fate had been so cruel.
Black fumes came from the tailpipe of another truck, still running. I walked over to the side of the vehicle when the sound of shuffling made me freeze. Someone was trying to drag themselves across the ground. My eyes narrowed on him right away. He was pulling himself across the ground with his one good arm. His other was missing, a bloody stump dragging beside him. One of Roman’s attackers was alive, if barely. I could find out what happened here.
I brushed the tears off my face and tried to push back my emotions. I had to be calm when I woke up Petal. She was going to be scared.
I went to the still-running truck and opened the passenger door—the only place I could stash her. The hinges squealed loudly around us. The air in the cabin was cool, as the air conditioning had been cranked up.
“Emily. Wake up, sweetie.” I raised my shoulder to jostle her just a little. I felt her lift her head and release a sleepy sigh. I turned and bent so her backside hit the seat of the vehicle. I looked over my shoulder at the man who was still alive. She would never see anyone outside if she were down here by the dash.
A sharp gasp escaped her lips as she stuttered out, “What?”
I grasped her firmly, removing the straps from my shoulders before I turned and grabbed her face between my hands, making her look at me. Listen to me, Emily,” I commanded with urgency. “You need to stay right here, do you understand?” Her expression shifted instantly, her senses on high alert as she nodded in apprehension. My grip tightened as I lowered her onto the cold floor of the cabin. Gripping the lever, I pushed the seat back to give her as much room as possible.
“Why? What the hell is going on?” She struggled against my hand that was pinning her down. I didn’t chastise her for her language this time. She was desperate to stand up and escape. Her heart raced as panic set in, her mind whirling with terrifying possibilities.
“Emily.” My voice was firm, drawing her attention back to me and not what was outside the vehicle. I tried to make my voice softer when I spoke to her again. “I need you to stay here. Don’t look outside. Promise me right now.”
“Like hell!” she started, but I cut her off.
“Whatever is outside is not something I want you to witness. You need to listen to me. Do you understand?” My hands shook as I pushed her back into the tiny footwell. Desperation fueled my actions. “I have to find out what happened out there. Please, just stay here. I will be right back.” I could feel the tears stinging my eyes now.
“Please,” she pleaded, her voice thick with desperation and fear. “Don’t leave me here.” But I couldn’t stay, not when there were still questions to be answered. I had to find out what had happened.
“Emily, I will leave the door open. You will be able to hear me. But I need you to promise me you will not look. Promise me,” I commanded.
Emily’s eyes were intense on mine, but she nodded her head. I left the bag at her feet as she drew her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs.
“You promise you will be right back?” Her tears escaped her eyes as fear took hold. Her fingers dug into the material of her pants.
“I swear, Petal,” I reassured her. “I will be right back.” I leaned down and kissed her forehead, then inched back a step. I left the door open just like I said I would before I stood up to my full height and pulled my Kitous off my chest, looking at the bodies around me.
The man who was trying to drag himself away, leaving a trail of blood across the ground. His back was bloody, and his legs looked useless, neither moving to help push him across the sand.
I walked to the severed head with long black hair like Soren’s. My tears were hot as they started again. The resemblance of how Soren pulled his hair back ripped my heart to pieces as I reached down and nudged the head with the tips of my fingers to see the person’s face.
My knees hit the ground when open eyes looked back at me—clouded over with death. Emotion broke from my chest when pale skin with green eyes looked back at me. My cry of relief tore from my throat. I dropped my head in my hands to muffle the sound, all too aware that Petal was just feet away. This wasn’t Soren, but what the hell had happened here?
The head was several feet from its body, and I could see where another body had been lying. The ground disturbed several feet in the shape of a person. The impressions of someone’s legs were apparent in the dirt. Whoever had been there had crushed the grass, leaving an imprint of where they had laid.
I could see where something that could be Roman had been dragged across the ground. Enormous claw marks scored the ground. I bent down to touch them, measuring them with my fingers. They were as big as Roman’s paws. I could see where she had struggled. Her gray blood was splattered on the ground. I followed its trail to the trailer. Someone had tried to capture the Rizuga kit. The growl that erupted from my throat was loud and rumbling. The anger that pulsed through me made me see red as I clenched my fists around my Kitous.
“Merrick!” Emily called out after hearing the rumble. Her voice startled the injured man as he tried to flee. I listened to his whimpered cries as he tried to move faster across the ground.
“Everything’s fine, Petal,” I called back, taking a deep breath. I stood up, eyes locked on the human. He was trying to crawl under a bush. He knew I was here. My teeth ground together, thinking they had done something with Soren and Roman.
His right arm was missing at the elbow. He was using the second to pull himself across the ground. I stomped across the ground to the struggling human. When I got closer, I could see that something had stepped on his back. Large punctures seeped with red blood right over his spine. He wouldn’t be able to walk anymore. He was dragging himself across the ground because his survival instinct wouldn’t allow him just to lay out here and die. I grabbed one of his now useless legs and yanked him out of the bush. He screamed and tried to turn his head to look at me, but I placed a booted foot on his back to halt his movements, pressing him into the ground.
“Please, Please!” he begged as I slammed the blade of my Kitous into the ground near his shoulder. I nudged the human over onto his back with my boot.
Blood was splattered across his face, and his eyes were wide with terror. He instinctively raised his arms, trying to shield himself from further harm. His missing arm oozed blood. Deep teeth marks marred the wound. Rizugae were vicious fighters. I was surprised the man was still alive.
My fists clenched, and my voice dropped to a dangerous rumble. “What the hell happened here?” The man cowered in front of me, fear radiating from every inch of his body.
His head shook as he stuttered, “P-Please, don’t hurt me. I didn’t know what that monster was.”
As I stared at the pool of blood on the ground, my patience wore thin, and my blood boiled. “The creature you were trying to capture was a Rizuga. You should’ve known better than to mess with one. But I didn’t ask if you knew what it was,” I seethed, trembling angrily. “I asked what happened.”
“Man, they came out of nowhere!” he stuttered out, his gaze flickering anxiously beyond me to the truck.
Emily’s voice cracked with panic as she called me, “Merrick, who is that?”
“Stay where you are, Petal.” I raised my voice so she could hear, but my gaze never left the stranger's face. I suppressed the urge to look back at Emily to reassure myself that she was safe. She had promised she would stay put. My heart raced as I demanded, “Tell me who you are.”
Each word trembled on his lips as he stuttered, “W-w-we were trying to capture this… thing, Rizuga. But then a girl appeared out of nowhere and attacked us.” He winced in pain as I pressed my boot harder against his chest, pinning him down.
I glared at the man, my hands clenched into fists. “Who sent you to capture it?” I demanded, my voice low and menacing. The man shifted nervously and avoided eye contact. I could see he was sweating despite the cool night air.