Chapter 7 Kendra
SEVEN
kendra
Connor seemed promising, not just from the app’s profile but also based on our conversation on and off for the last couple of days. Chatting with men from dating apps about sex before a meet-up was risky, so I tried to steer the conversation away from that as much as possible.
I always tried to beat my date to the bar, but it looked like I was later than both him and Hawk.
Hawk: He seems normal enough so far. Dark hair? Corner?
I gave Hawk a quick nod and walked over to where Connor sat. He stood up to greet me, and he wasn’t as tall as he claimed in his bio. Dammit. Not only was he not 6’2”, he was barely taller than me in my 2” heels. Maybe he cleared 5’9”.
“I thought you said you were 6’2”?” I asked, cutting straight to the point.
“Wow. That must be another guy you’re talking to. I’ve only ever dreamed of being that tall.”
Ugh, I hadn’t imagined it. Connor was the only one I had chatted with since my last disaster of a date. Not only had he lied, but he had decided to gaslight me instead of owning up to it.
I heard the telltale buzz of my phone and glanced quickly at it.
Hawk: Never realized men lied about their height so often.
Me: Oh yeah. Stay tuned. Already starting with gaslighting, too.
Me: That’s not the only size they lie about…
“Do you mind?” Connor eyed my cellphone in annoyance.
“Sorry, I don’t stray far from my phone on first dates. I have friends who are checking up on me.” Using my phone was rude, but I’d already decided that he didn’t have the right to call me out on anything.
“Well, now that you know I’m not an axe murderer, can we agree to put the phones away?” His tone was downright nasty, and I bristled in response. Based on that tone, no, I wasn’t doing anything he asked.
“Oh, you’re a long way from proving anything.
” That came off cockier than I had planned, but I was growing more annoyed with Connor as the time passed.
While I usually wanted my dates to find me attractive, the way he leered at my breasts bordered on creepy and wasn’t at all sexy.
I wished I had a sweater with me to cover up.
I ordered a Chardonnay, and Connor ordered a light beer.
At least he wasn’t pounding hard liquor.
Jesus, what was it that made me want to see the bright side?
I knew instantly that there was no chemistry.
Why was I sitting through this drink and even bothering to pretend?
Shit, had it gotten so bad that all I needed was a man who didn’t get absolutely blitzed on the first date?
And just as I took my first sip of wine, he had to open his mouth. He. Made. It. Worse.
“I think it’s important to get things out in the open right away. I expect a blowjob when I come home from work every day.”
And yes, my wine sprayed all over the front of his polo shirt. I heard Hawk’s snort, and the bartender dropped the glass he was polishing.
“And can you explain exactly how you’re going to find a woman who likes you enough to perform that job?”
“Well, look at me.”
Oh, I did. I wasn’t one to degrade short men; I’d even run across a micropenis or two that still got the job done. But even though Connor had classic good looks, he lacked even a single shred of charm. He was good enough to get my attention, but then he disgusted me with his personality.
“Oh, I am. And not only would I never plan to get my knees dirty for you, I’m done. You can leave.”
With that, I turned my back on him and sipped my wine as I stared into the mirror behind the bar.
Across the bar, Hawk clapped, and the bartender and another server who had overheard what Connor said joined in.
He looked stunned, pushed away his beer, and said, “With this treatment, I’m not paying for the beer.”
Joe, the manager, arrived just in time and led him out the door. “It’s okay,” Joe said. “You seemed the type to split on your tab anyway.”
Hawk and I watched him as Joe led him out the door. He bitched the entire way, but thankfully, Joe wasn’t backing down.
“I thought he seemed better than Tyler.” I shrugged and hung my head.
“Oh, he was better than Tyler. But still a garbage human being,” Hawk said.
I quickly polished off my glass of wine, slid into the seat next to Hawk, and ordered another.
“I hope you don’t mind; I’m going to need at least two glasses of wine to forget about that.”
Hawk sat back on his stool. “Be my guest. I planned to watch out for you with him. I’m good at keeping an eye out, so you can safely tie one on.”
“I hope you don’t think less of me after both debacles.”
“No. But if you’d gone home with him, I would have.”
“What the hell is wrong with people?” I asked. “Here, look through the messages I got on the app. Connor and Tyler seemed like stand-up guys.”
Hawk took my phone and read through some messages.
“Oof, this poor guy. Did he really offer up his disability check for a date?”
Hawk was referring to the message I received from the nineteen-year-old kid who promised me he could support me with his disability check.
He then described his traumatic brain injury from the car accident he was in, which killed both his parents.
It was heartbreaking, and while I had no intention of dating him, I felt slightly responsible for protecting him.
So many women would take advantage of him.
“Oh, yeah. I wanted to meet up with him to protect him from all the vultures that would be more than happy to relieve him of whatever small amount of government assistance he gets.”
“I know the feeling. But I guess you don’t need to own a baseball team to have women try to take everything you’ve got.”
“You don’t date?” I asked.
“Not for a while. It was something I realized I had to give up when I took over the team. And honestly, I’m not missing out on much. It gives me a great excuse to turn down whatever mystery match my grandmother decides would be the best for the family’s future.”
I sighed. “At least my parents don’t set me up with anyone.”
“And your sisters?”
I shook my head. “Kylie has been out of the city long enough not to have many connections. Kelsey knows better than to set me up with an athlete.”
He stared at me, and I squirmed in my seat, polishing off my second glass of wine.
“No athletes?”
“Ah, you caught that.” I signaled for another glass of wine. The buzz from the first two glasses encouraged me to open up, making it more difficult to say no to another drink.
“So there’s a story there.”
“I dated one of the baseball players at Dartmouth. He was full of himself, which carried over to how he treated me.”
I gave Hawk my canned response, which left out so much of what had happened with Tucker.
“Sounds like that is the safe response.”
Our eyes met, and I knew he wasn’t buying my brush-off.
“Well, that relationship is why I do many things the way I do now.”
There had been a time when I saw a future with Tucker.
But then, after it all fell apart, after he hurt me unimaginably, I hated myself for how blind I had been.
It was probably why I hadn’t had more than a single date with a man since.
Some had led to sex, some sex had even been good, but I wasn’t ready to trust anyone again.
“I’m a good listener if you ever want to talk about it.”
Fuck, I wanted to talk about it. Not only because the three glasses of wine had loosened my lips, but because I felt so alone after everything that had happened. I had crawled into myself and hadn’t even told my sisters.
“Are you saying this as my boss?”
“I’m saying this as a friend, with the understanding that becoming friends with your boss can be strange and complicated. But if you want to add boundaries, we can do that.”
“So, we pretend that we are peers?” I asked. Shit, I just slurred. And when the bartender offered another glass of wine, I accepted that too.
“Workout partners?”
I laughed, remembering his comment about my nipples. “HR would be on your case after our workout. Do you comment on most partners’ nipples?”
“Shit, Kendra. I’m a man, and I have eyes.”
Was he saying he’s attracted to me? I bit back a flirtatious response and did my best to bring the conversation firmly back to the friend zone.
“And no filter.”
“My success never came about because I avoided risks.”
And here I was assuming that his success came because he was lucky at birth. But jealousy and nepotism aside, Hawk had done more work to change the culture in his short tenure than his grandfather had in decades. He wasn’t lazy, and he was brilliant.
“And what exactly were you risking then? When you were commenting on my tits?”
“After seeing you dress down Connor, I probably should have expected a smack in the face.”
A giggle bubbled out of me, the 99,000th reminder that I’d had too much to drink.
“I should have known not to bother this close to the holidays. It’s slim pickings after cuffing season closes.”
“Cuffing season?”
“The shoulder season right before Thanksgiving, is where you pick your partner for the holidays. You know, so you don’t have to show up at Nana’s house and answer her questions about why you don’t have a girlfriend. Viola! Here’s Sophie!”
“Or you just don’t bother dating anyone and tell your Nonna you married your job instead.”
“Only a man could get away with that. Luckily for me, my parents are so distracted with Kelsey’s wedding that they wouldn’t notice. They haven’t even noticed how torn up Kylie is over your pitching coach.”
Oh, shit! There goes my mouth again. I could never keep it shut when it counted. It’s how I managed to get my nephew’s paternity blasted on Reddit before they had even told his father. Even now, I could sense Kelsey’s resistance to fully letting me into her life.
Hawk had switched to water, and instead of annoyance at my buzz, he seemed amused.
I rarely drank this much, but it felt nice to be able to let off some steam and not worry about anyone taking advantage of me.
Maybe I should have worried more about it with Hawk, but I didn’t.
I trusted him to spot me at the gym and respect me at the office, and now he was my wingman and protector.
“The wedding is on St. John? Have you ever been?”
Kelsey and Sam had invited several players and some of the team management, but because it was Christmas, the wedding celebration was limited to a small, intimate group.
“No. And Kelsey hasn’t either. She’s only seen photos.
Have you been?” It was in times like these that I realized just how much more of the world Hawk had seen than me.
His grandfather had been a billionaire before accounting for what he earned owning the team, and Hawk had been written up in Forbes as one of the wealthiest men under thirty.
Would you know it? Nope. He was not only well-liked at The Mighty Oak, he was genuinely kind to anyone he encountered. Not exactly stereotypical billionaire behavior.
“I went once when I was in high school. I don’t remember much more than sneaking Bushwhackers and snorkeling with sea turtles. I’m sure I would get more out of it now.”
I polished off my glass of wine and realized that I’d gone from buzzed to too drunk to be out in public.
I swayed on the barstool. “I need to go home.”
Hawk signaled for the check and slid his card to pay. I protested weakly. Drinking too much always made me forget why I preferred to pay my own tab. I cared only about getting home, curling up in bed, and sleeping off the wine.
“Come on. My car is out front.”
The valet handed Hawk his keys, and we got into an expensive-looking car that I didn’t recognize.
Growing up in the city, cars had value only for getting out of Boston; in the city, they got in the way.
Between traffic and limited parking, it was a pain in the ass to own a car if you lived within walking distance of your job, and I hadn’t bothered to get one.
Certain that Hawk lived in a penthouse with a garage, he didn’t have the same barriers with parking that I would have.
I gave him the address and watched out the window as he negotiated the traffic. When he pulled up in front of my building, I didn’t expect him to turn off the car and follow me into my apartment.
“You don’t need to walk me in.”
“It’s okay. You’ve had a lot to drink. I would rather make sure you’re okay before I leave.”
And at that moment, I started to feel terrible.
The light meal I had before meeting Connor did nothing to absorb the wine in my stomach, and it lurched.
I covered my mouth and rushed to get the key in the door.
Once I unlocked it, I rushed to my bathroom and barely reached the toilet before I vomited.
Fuck.