Chapter 11 Kendra
ELEVEN
kendra
I spent the flight to St. Thomas thinking about my dinner with Hawk—a dinner that was not supposed to be a date but felt very much like one.
Well, except for the fact that I had enjoyed talking to Hawk and there had been no creepy requests for blowjobs. Nothing like Tyler or Connor. Or, God forbid, Tucker. Whenever we had gone out together, he’d find some way to make me feel like I did something wrong. With Hawk, it was easy.
Kylie sat next to Luc on the flight, an arrangement that was entirely accidental.
I was still the only one who knew about their relationship and planned to keep this secret for her.
At this point, I needed to earn back my sisters’ trust, and if that included lying to the rest of my family, that’s what I would do.
We had a few minutes before we needed to put our phones in airplane mode, so I took advantage and sent her a quick text.
Me: Can you be friends with a man?
Kylie: Are you attracted to that man?
I sent her a photo of Hawk from the cover spread they had used in Forbes magazine. Shit, that image didn’t do him any justice.
Kylie: No, are you insane? You fuck that man, or you marry him. He’s not friend-zone material.
Me: He’s been my wingman. We had dinner the other night. Oh—he’s also my boss.
Kylie:…
That was all we were able to say before we had to turn off our phones, and neither of us had the chance to continue the conversation after we arrived.
To be fair, Kylie and Luc seemed to be trying their best to hide their emotions.
This week should be interesting. On the bright side, neither Sam nor Kelsey seemed to notice what anyone else was going through.
My youngest sister was blissfully happy, and she deserved it.
My parents were enjoying the first real vacation in forever, and I could see how overwhelmed they already were.
Sam’s wealth alone was staggering. And his family consisted of supermodels and ballplayers—such a difference from our little family from South Boston.
But other than the brands of the clothes they wore, you wouldn’t know the difference between them and us. They loved just as hard as my family.
I loved the chaos, though. We had always been an active, close-knit family with crazy big gatherings, and now it had gotten even louder.
Me: If you and Luc keep looking at each other like that, everyone is going to know before night one is over.
Kylie: Like what?
Me: Like you aren’t sure if you’re going to rip each other’s heads or clothes off.
Kylie: That’s accurate.
Me: You okay?
Kylie: Barely.
Ugh.
By the time we checked into the villa and everyone had their assigned rooms, I was ready for a nap. I stared at my laptop, I had brought it to get ahead on some assignments but with my new acting role, I expected life to get even busier after the break.
I wanted to be a fly on the wall when my Director was let go. I had been prepared to have my skills questioned while I was new in my role, but there was something sadistic in the way he had treated me.
He was an asshole, and I was reassured that Hawk had figured it out before I had to file a complaint. I wasn’t the only woman who had struggled with him, but I was in the most senior position. Thankfully, it hadn’t come to that.
In turn, Hawk had elevated my opinion of him. An opinion that now came dangerously close to adoration.
Fuck me. Oh, please, please, fuck me.
“How’s everything in the back office?” Sam asked, and Luc looked up with interest.
“Boys, no. You know your question is putting me in a strange position.”
“I get it, I’m just curious,” Sam said.
Kelsey joined the conversation in the middle of the kitchen. “What would you do if you knew Sam was getting traded?”
“She couldn’t say anything,” Sam said. “And we wouldn’t put her in that position. Besides, my contract is pretty ironclad.”
In a normal year, players were optioned, traded, and designated for assignment. Sam was in the minority. Once he came into the Major League, he’d only been sent down once while recovering from an injury. Some of the guys on the roster had messier paths and bounced between teams and leagues.
I hadn’t worked for the team last summer when Sam’s possible case of the yips had everyone in a tailspin.
That’s exactly what my research showed on Tucker, and while his playing stats had been nothing short of phenomenal, he hadn’t stuck around anywhere for more than a season. This confirmed my suspicion that he was clubhouse poison.
I hated that I might not only see Tucker again but be forced to watch him day after day. It threatened to rip open the scar tissue that had formed thanks to him.
Shit, what if he became friends with Sam? Nope, I would decline any invitation to a function where Tucker was present. I had been through too much therapy to subject myself to that man.
Hawk: How was the flight? Are you there yet?
Me: Yes. At the villa and just unpacked. It’s eighty-one and sunny. But really strange that the sun goes down around 6.
Hawk: Ah, yeah. It’s the same year-round there. My friend went to med school in the Caribbean, and he said it was strange in the summer when the sun set so early.
Me: Sitting here, completely surrounded by the Minutemen organization. It’s a good thing I love baseball, and I love my job.
Hawk: Good. I like having you on the team.
I was flushed with the compliment. I was never satisfied with any level of success I achieved; I always wanted more.
But accolades were tough to accept. It was easier to drive forward when you knew there were areas for improvement, concrete things you could do to improve at your job.
It was not so easy to accept compliments.
Me: Are you friends with anyone else on the leadership team.
Hawk: No, I don’t trust them. Every single one of them wants me to fail and turn the team back over to my grandfather.
Me: No one has expressed that to me.
Hawk: There are a lot of reasons for that. The first is that you’re new…
Me: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I’m a woman.
Hawk: As much as I hate that, you’re probably right. It just confirms that I have work to do.
“Who’s got your attention?” Kylie asked.
“It’s work.”
“Are you going to spend the rest of vacation working?” Kylie’s scorn was barely contained. She worked her ass off at the Department of Public Health, but she could keep work from over-taking her life. I couldn’t, but doubted I would want to anyway.
“What do you think?”
“I get it. I’m sure the testosterone in the office is as bad as it is on the field.”
“Speaking of testosterone—”
Her eyes darted quickly to Luc and then back to me. “Yes?”
“You’re still going to force me to lie to everyone?”
“Omission is not a lie. And we’re not in a position to be making any announcements.”
“I just want you to be happy—”
“And what about you, Kenny? Outside of work, are you doing anything for yourself?”
“This isn’t a competition about which one of us has the most dysfunctional relationship, Ky.”
“I didn’t say it was. But outside of the assholes you’ve met on dating websites, have you been talking to anyone?”
“No one of note.”
Did I want my sister’s opinion of the friendship I had developed with Hawk?
Of course. But I didn’t even know how to explain it.
It was far easier for her to assume that I had buried myself in my career at the expense of my personal life.
And in the meantime, I could work through my thoughts about Hawk.
Then, Kelsey pulled matching t-shirts out for all of us and demanded we put them on before meeting in front of the villa in twenty minutes.
“Um, I picked out a nice sundress for the night. Are you serious?”
“It’s just for photos. You can take it off before we leave.”
I sent Hawk a photo of me in the t-shirt right before I left for dinner.
Hawk: Beautiful.
I looked closely at the photo and realized that I had caught the sunset in the background. He had to have been talking about that, right?