Chapter 54
FIFTY-FOUR
hawk
Kendra’s first request that I accompany her to therapy was met with an eye roll. But when she’d pointed out that we hadn’t had sex since the night I opened the text from Tucker, I relented.
“I can’t let this come between us.” Her plea had gutted me. If I hadn’t thought I could feel any worse—I did then.
I had known that Kendra had dealt with trauma, but seeing it firsthand hadn’t been something I could push aside. How had she been through so much and still walked through the world without fear?
I sat and stared at my hands as Kendra told her therapist what had happened. My stomach still lurched every time I thought about it.
“How did seeing that video make you feel?”
“Helpless.”
“Did it change the way you feel about Kendra?”
My eyes snapped to hers and then to my girlfriend, who sat there wringing her hands and fidgeting nervously. “No—” my voice cracked. “—not one bit.”
She looked back at me, cornflower blue rimmed with red, shining with tears. It broke my fucking heart that my actions were the source of even an ounce of pain. She’d had enough of that.
“He hasn’t touched me since then.” Her whispered sentence was followed by a full-body wracking sob.
“I don’t want to hurt her—fuck. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to swear—”
“Swear all you want, as long as it’s not directed at me—or Kendra—I’m good.”
“I’ve been working on healing from this for a long time. I think Tucker realized that he couldn’t hurt me that way again—so he found something that could. If he can drive a wedge between us—he’s won.”
Tears streamed down my face. “I promise you he hasn’t. I just need a minute to catch up.”