CHAPTER TWELVE
TROY
I awoke before my alarm—six-twenty.
I knew why.
Maddie .
I stared up at the criss-crossing beams of the cabin roof. She’d been spending each night in my bed this week, slipping out in the early morning hours to return to her bed with Grace. I was used to rousing when she slipped out, but today was different.
This was the last morning. The absolute end.
Sadness washed over me. I turned onto my side, facing Maddie as she slept. My gaze drifted from her long, dark lashes to the faintest hint of freckles across her cheeks, along the wisps of dark chocolate hair that framed her face. She stirred slightly, and I took this as my sign to get her up for the day.
I dragged my fingertips along the curve of her cheek, trying to absorb as much of this as I could.
“Time to get up,” I whispered, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.
I liked taking care of her and Grace. It felt good—natural, somehow. I’d never seen myself as a husband or daddy, but these eight days in Len’s cabin had got me thinking.
She mumbled something unintelligible. I wrapped my arms around her, placing soft kisses along her jawline. Maddie drew a deep breath, burrowing into me. My eyes drifted shut. I could have stayed there forever.
But she moved against me in just the right way. My cock perked up, ready for fun. I nuzzled into the hollow of her neck, searching out that perfect scent.
I don’t want this to end.
They were the words I was afraid to say. I had no right to say them, not when Maddie and Grace had needs, and I had an ever-changing location. My next stop was Ecuador. And after that? Uncharted.
The least sexiest thing to say to a single mom.
She giggled as I nuzzled her, burrowing harder against me. “Good morning to you.”
“Let’s make it a better morning.” I bit softly into the side of her neck, dragging my tongue along her sweet skin. She shivered, those pretty hazel eyes fluttering open as I smoothed my hand along her curves and in between her legs. My fingers danced over the crotch of her panties, already finding damp heat waiting for me. I pressed my fingers beneath the fabric, smoothing over the tight nub of her clit.
A sigh shuddered out of her at the same time my feral mode kicked in. Good lord, this woman was juicy. From head to toe.
“You feel so fucking perfect.” I slipped my finger into her pussy. “How are you this wet already?”
She laughed. “I sleep next to you, remember?”
I silenced the compliment with a kiss, moving my finger in and out of her slowly, up to pinch her clit, then back inside. She moved against my hand, urging more friction. My cock stiffened the more she moaned and whimpered. Her thighs clenched around my hand.
“God damn, Maddie.” I snagged her lips in a deep kiss as I rolled on top of her. She smoothed her hands over my bare chest, bleary eyed and beautiful. I pushed my hands underneath her sleep shirt, palming the big handfuls of her tits. “What a way to wake up.”
“You’re better than coffee,” she teased, clamping her legs around my waist.
“That’s a high compliment, coming from you.” I tugged her panties down, until they flew across the loft. “If that’s true, how can you live without me?”
I’d meant the question as something innocent and playful, but as soon as the words tumbled out, I realized how serious they were. Because this was the end, and somehow, we had to go our separate ways.
Something heavy crossed her face, but it didn’t last long. I made sure of it. I pulled off my boxer briefs, letting them join her panties across the loft, and then eased myself inside her. Stretching her, deliciously slowly, until we both forgot anything that had existed before this .
I couldn’t see anything beyond her hazel eyes as I pushed into her, over and over again. Her fingernails dug into my biceps. Her pussy walls clamped around me at the same time my balls tightened and the coil of pleasure released. Heat swarmed my body as I released inside her, her low moans filling the cabin loft.
Maddie was jello when we were done. Once we’d cuddled and laughed together for a few minutes, I scooped her into my arms and carried her to the bathroom.
“Troy,” she hissed, swatting at my arms. “Put me down. I’m too heavy.”
I tutted. “I don’t make it a habit of telling beautiful women this, but you’re wrong.”
She laughed, wriggling out of my arms in the bathroom. “You shouldn’t carry anything heavy with an injured knee you refuse to get checked out.”
I bit at my bottom lip as my gaze followed the delectable curve of her ass. “It’s fine. Remember what I said? You make it fine.”
She expelled a burst of air that sounded equal parts frustrated and amused. I gave her a cheesy grin in return. Truth was, my knee still hurt. And sometimes, it locked up. No bueno. But my approach was to ignore it until it resolved on its own. Besides, I had way more important things to tend to while Maddie was with me. I didn’t plan on giving away a second of my time to anything that wasn’t my girls.
Maddie and I made quick work of cleaning up, then she slipped down the stairs to return to her own bed for when Grace woke up. And I got to continuing my day like I always did: with exercise.
I was determined to keep my routine the same. Not just today, but in general. I only looked ahead.
No matter how much it gnawed at me.
As the morning wore on, I tried my best to click into gear for what came next. Nash Nightingale’s new assignment. The trip to Ecuador—which started tomorrow . Conjuring any sort of excitement about the gig was impossible because I couldn’t yank my attention from Maddie. Not when I was sharing my last breakfast with her and Grace, and thinking about what might happen while I was gone. Maddie got to tidying the kitchen after breakfast while I loaded their bags into the Jeep. When I came inside the cabin, Grace was hopping around, ready for one last round of Twisty Monkey.
I was happy to oblige. Because who knew when I’d be able to again?
After five—okay, six—near-puke inducing rounds of Twisty Monkey, the worst and best game ever invented by accident, Maddie and Grace waited in the Jeep while I closed up the cabin. I sent Len a quick text to let him know we left, pausing before I could add anything else. I didn’t want to say I fell in love under his buckhorn chandelier or anything, but I felt like Len needed to know that I’d definitely fallen for someone in there. Maybe later, after I dropped off the girls, I could admit to someone what was happening inside my chest.
Since it wasn’t a school day, I drove to Maddie’s parents’ house. Grace got excited as she recognized the neighborhood.
“We see Nana!” She clapped.
“Yes, sweetie. It’s time to see Nana.” Maddie unbuckled her seat belt slowly, looking over at me. Grace made a racket kicking and wriggling in the car seat, wanting to be unbuckled so she could go inside. Maddie slipped out of the car to release Grace, and her daughter bounded up to the front door.
“You think she’ll forget about me?” I asked Maddie, who sank back into the front seat once Grace had gone inside the house with her grandparents.
“No. She’ll probably talk about you for the next year.”
Silence settled between us. It was almost awkward, the first time I’d felt that way around Maddie since meeting her. I didn’t know what to say. Where to even begin. She nibbled on her lip as she looked over at me.
“Will you forget about me?” I could barely force the words past my lips.
“Never.” There was no hesitation in her voice. Only a challenge.
One that I wasn’t sure I could meet.
“Gonna talk about me for a year too, huh?” I squeezed her hand, hoping to see a smile at my corny joke. I got one, but it didn’t last long.
“You should go.” She looked toward the front door. “You have such a long drive. All I can think about is how you’ll have to drive straight through if I keep you any longer.”
She wasn’t wrong. But I wasn’t quite ready to leave yet, either.
“I don’t need many breaks. I could probably do the whole trip in one go.” But the subtext behind her comment stuck with me. Reminding me of the truth: this was the end. I reached for her hand, giving it a quick squeeze. “What’s the plan, again?”
She offered me a warm smile. “File the report about the car. Meet with the lawyer. Work on the uncontested divorce. Follow up with you about what the doctor said about your knee.”
I fought a grin. “You’re really not gonna let me get away with ignoring it, huh?”
“Nope. So if you want me to follow the plan…then you should follow it, too.”
I nodded, finally realizing that she wasn’t going to drop it. Because she was right…and we both knew it. “Okay. But I want it to go on the record that I’m only doing this because you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
“Noted. And thank you.” Her hazel gaze twinkled as she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my lips.
When she pulled away, her gaze slid to the front door of her parents’ house. Her mother poked her head out, looking toward the Jeep. Grace hopped at her feet. They were waiting for Maddie. But I wasn’t quite ready to end this.
“I should go,” she started.
I opened my mouth to say something— can we keep talking? What if I flew back to see you after Ecuador? Are you open to long distance with a guy like me?— but none of the words materialized. I had no idea how to launch this conversation.
“Thanks for everything, Troy,” she said, leaning over the console to throw her arms around me. I held her against me, my heart pounding against my ribs. This couldn’t be it.
Yet it had to be.
She slipped out of the Jeep before I could get my brain back to working order. As soon as the door shut behind her, sadness prickled through me, even though I didn’t want to admit it. It was time to leave. My path was set. I needed to accept it and get on with it.
I backed out of the driveway before I could do anything stupid, like walk up to her parents’ house and introduce myself as her boyfriend. I drove to the nearest gas station, my attention wandering as I filled up my tank.
Would one last good-bye hug be so bad?
Leaving now felt wrong somehow. I had a strange feeling in my gut that I didn’t like. One that I knew better than to ignore.
Once I was done pumping gas, I eased back into the driver’s seat and called Maddie. I didn’t care that it might make me look lovesick or smitten or any of those things I didn’t want to be but already knew I was.
“Hello?” I could hear the smile in her voice.
“Hey you. How you doing?”
She laughed softly. “Just fine. Same as when you dropped me off fifteen minutes ago.”
“Yeah, I figured. Just wanted to check in.”
“Are you going to be calling me every fifteen minutes while you’re gone?”
“If you don’t mind,” I teased. “I like to get frequent updates.”
“I suppose I could arrange some sort of live cam…”
I cleared my throat. “After hours style or what?”
“That would be a first for me, but it could be arranged.”
The sexy lilt of her voice had me grinning like a fool. “You sure you don’t want me to come back over there? I could stay a few more days.”
She sighed. “Troy, you need to get to New York and catch your plane. You’re leaving the country tomorrow.”
“You’re right.” I studied the leather braiding of the steering wheel as I fumbled for what my next words would be. “But it feels wrong leaving you and Grace behind.”
“Believe me, we wish you could stay. But we’ll be fine. I promise you.”
I drew a deep breath, trying to believe her words.
“Hey Maddie…” I looked around the barren gas station, trying to figure out if I really had the words inside me. Maddie screamed roots, and I’d never had them. But something about her made me want to try growing them. “If there was some chance that I…I don’t know…might come back through Louisville on my way back from Ecuador…”
“Mm-hmm….”
“And I could work it out where I swung by…we don’t need to stay in the cabin, I’m not saying you go back to the cabin or anything…”
She laughed softly, reminding me how I still hadn’t gotten to the damn point.
“Well, Grace would need a few rounds of Twisty Monkey, you know?” I rubbed at the back of my neck. I’d never felt so inarticulate in my entire life. “Maybe we could…you know…I don’t know…”
Now she was full-blown laughing. At me . “Troy, what are you trying to say? Just spit it out.”
“I…” I drew a deep breath. I’d lived through boot camp, tours of duty, protecting high-profile political figures, and I’d even been involved in a few shoot-outs in my time. Nothing came close to this: admitting to a woman that despite my best efforts, she owned my heart. “I want to make sure you’ll be okay. But it’s more than that. Way more. I know I can’t fix everything…but I want to help you carry the load. I don’t think I can go to Ecuador without knowing that I’m going to see you again as soon as humanly possible.”
The other end of the line was quiet for a moment, but then I heard what sounded like sniffles.
“Troy.” There was so much emotion in her voice. I’d never loved the sound of my name so much from anyone’s lips. “That’s all I want too. I was too afraid to ask. I know you have a busy schedule…I didn’t want to get in the way.”
“You’d never be in the way. Hell, it’s everything else that’s in the way. We’ll figure it out. We will.” The words landed like a hammer. There was no questioning it. We would figure it out because I didn’t want the alternative of not knowing when I’d see her next.
“Yeah. We’ll figure it out.” I could hear the smile in her voice, and see it in my mind’s eye. I was ready to drive back to her parents’ house for one last hug, which she must have been able to sense. “Are you driving north yet?”
“Just finishing up getting gas. I’m about to call Nash with my ETA. Tell my monkey Gracie-bell I miss her already.”
“I will.”
“And I’ll show you how much I miss you already when I call you later from my bedroom.”
Her sweet laughter was cut short by a soft gasp.
“What’s wrong?” The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as I turned the engine.
“Oh my God,” Maddie murmured. Nothing about her voice sounded good. “Oh my God you’ve gotta be kidding me.”
Now my gut was a complete knot. “Maddie, what is it?”
“Jericho just showed up.”