CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
MADDIE
T roy took me out to a downtown Louisville restaurant for a “one month-iversary”, as he called it, even though the date had passed while he was down south.
The man had come back tanned and more toned than when he’d left, and to this mid-winter white girl, he looked like a deity. He practically had a halo of sexiness around him, and I had to force myself to stop drooling whenever I looked at him for too long.
This didn’t seem like real life. He was too hot. Too good. There had to be a flaw, and I already knew what it was: too transient.
It was the fear lapping at the edges of my thoughts. I was already thinking ahead, living in the future, trying to figure out what it might feel like after a year of doing the long-distance thing. Would we even be able to keep it up that long? Sure, we’d gotten into a nice groove while he was in South America. But now that routine was changing, and my entire existence hinged on routines. I gulped down the martini that the server had dropped off, eager to drown out my anxieties.
Troy lifted a brow. “Thirsty?”
“Parched.” I sent him a shy smile, and he had the gall to look absolutely enamored. I could have come bare-faced and in my pajamas for this date night and he would probably still look at me like this. My heart pounded in my chest. After so long away from him, battling these intense feelings, I wasn’t sure how to launch this conversation. Partly because I didn’t know what I wanted to say other than I love you.
And that seemed out of the question.
“Everything okay?” Troy asked it offhandedly as he perused the menu board. This was the type of place to only have a small handful of entrees, printed on parchment and fastened to a piece of upcycled wood. Everything was low lit and wood fired in here. It was absolutely enchanting. I wanted to crawl into Troy’s lap and never leave.
“Yeah. I’m just…” A million potential responses leapt to mind, but none made the leap to my tongue. “I’m trying to figure out what makes sense.”
“Are you thinking of the wagyu?” He set down the menu.
“No, I mean—” I laughed at the misinterpretation. “In my life. ”
“Oh. Well there’s still a place for wagyu, either way,” he teased. “But talk to me. What is it?”
I drew a deep breath. “When will I see you next?”
His face fell. “I don’t know.”
I nodded, looking down at the menu board without really seeing the text. “That’s what I figured.”
“It won’t be terribly long,” he hurried to add. “I’ve been thinking about spending weekends here. Or whatever days end up being the off days in my schedule. Maybe two days per week here, if I can time the flights right…”
I nibbled at my lip as he spoke, trying to imagine the future he laid out. It would be so much travel for him. But maybe….
“And then I wanted you and Grace to come up north and be with me in the city as soon as you could visit.” He fiddled with his knife as he spoke. “The custodial stuff will be settled soon. You get summer breaks. That could be in New York.”
I nodded. I’d been granted an uncontested divorce since Jericho’s life was in shambles now. There was no chance he’d get partial custody, even if he got his act together soon, thanks to what we captured in those recordings from the assault. For the first time in my life, I felt free. Finally. “But what about after that?”
A heartbreaking grin graced his lips. “You’re thinking that far ahead about us?”
I felt my cheeks redden. The server came up to take our orders, but without a moment’s hesitation, Troy shook his head, lifting a finger. “Give us five.” The waiter disappeared wordlessly and I leaned forward.
“Troy. I was ready to order.”
He leaned forward too. “I need to hear what you have to say. Ordering can wait. But I’ll call him back if you want me to.”
I laughed, swatting his arm. “Why is it so hot when you prioritize?”
“I know what turns schoolteachers on.”
I covered my mouth to hide the laugh. Troy looked immensely pleased with himself.
“All right. So yes, I’m thinking that far ahead about us. I just…I need to know how this is going to work.” My real fears began tumbling out. “I loved the video chatting. We made it work. It was seamless. But I…I need something more concrete than that. Your schedule has the potential to change every month. I guess all of this has come up because…”
Troy narrowed his eyes. “Because what?”
“I’ve been looking at condos in Louisville.” I nibbled on my bottom lip, hesitantly meeting his gaze. “I think it’s time to leave my parents’ house. I’m ready for my own space, I’ve got the down payment ready. We’ve been there for so long. But…I don’t know…”
“What are you asking, Maddie?” His voice came out a sexy rasp.
“I don’t know,” I hissed, “isn’t that obvious?” I covered my face with my hands.
Troy reached for my hand, which I gave him. He brushed his thumb back and forth across my knuckles. “I’ve been a nomad my whole life. I knew there would be a transition involved in getting serious with you..."
I swallowed hard, nodding.
“But there’s one thing I’m certain of, and it’s that I can’t go on without you two in my life.” His brown eyes were so soulful, I could hardly find my breath. “I need my girls. That’s a non-negotiable. I know we’ll find a way.”
Tears pressed at my eyes. And our server was coming back again. When he showed up with a hopeful smile, Troy sent him away.
“They need Do Not Disturb signs for the tables,” Troy muttered. My shoulders shook with laughter. I sniffed hard, dabbing at my eyes.
“I know you think we’ll find a way,” I said slowly. “But what is that way?”
Troy’s intense gaze nearly crippled me. He didn’t have the answer any more than I did. I only had a half-formed wish that I was too scared to follow.
“There’s something you’re not saying,” he said.
“I want to go to New York with you,” I blurted. My cheeks immediately heated up. I was aware how it sounded. “To visit. I mean—spring break is starting next week…”
His brows shot up. “Done. Let’s go, babe.”
I laughed into my palm. “I didn’t want to force myself onto your plans…”
“You’re not forcing anything. I want this too. And when you come visit, then we can see how you feel about staying longer than just spring break.” He winked at me before pressing a kiss to my knuckles, then he finally leaned back and flagged the server. “Now it’s time to order.”
Two days later, I found myself in the middle of Tribeca.
In Seven’s apartment. AKA Troy’s current home.
Looking around at the exposed brick and the stripper pole and the leather couches feeling like I was back at that Christmas party from three months ago.
Life had certainly changed since then, and only for the better. Three months ago, I was terrified of Jericho. Wondering if I’d ever find my way. Now, I was enjoying life in a way I never imagined possible. Even amid the routine and the responsibilities, I felt a freedom I’d never had before.
Maybe it had always been there, even if it had been restricted by my relationship with Jericho. But Troy certainly helped me tap into it.
Troy wrapped an arm around me, pressing his lips to my temple. Grace was in his arms, fiddling with his beard.
“How’s it feel to be back?”
We’d just arrived to the city after breaking up the long car ride into two days with a stopover in Pennsylvania. I was brimming with excitement. Everything about New York City felt alive and fresh. Not to mention my best friend and former sister-in-law, Mercedes, was here. Our plan was to simply settle in this first evening. I hadn’t even texted Mercedes yet.
“So amazing.” I let out an incredulous laugh and flitted to the big windows overlooking the street. I stared down at the cars and the activity below. My heart thudded in my chest as I imagined all the things I’d like to do during the trip. “I don’t even know where to begin with my to-do list. We only have a week here?”
“Unless you decide to make it longer.” Troy winked at me. Ranger meowed, annoyed, from the far edge of the apartment. We’d already fed him, but he still seemed to regard me and Grace with suspicion. “Ranger, what’s your deal?”
“I think he doesn’t like us being here,” I teased. I used the tried and true ps-ps-ps and held out my fingers but Ranger didn’t budge. He actually seemed to glare at me as he prowled closer to Troy. I didn’t even know cats could glare. “I think he’s jealous.”
“Ranger, stop. You know you’re my number one street cat.” Troy wandered toward the stripper pole and Ranger followed. “You’re gonna have to get used to Maddie being here, ya old man. She’ll be staying after spring break, won’t she?”
“If I could commute. Though the commute would kill me,” I murmured as I dragged my finger along the wooden frame of the window. “Not to mention a physical impossibility.”
“That’s why you ditch the commute and just stay.” Troy and Grace had migrated over to the pole, where they’d made a game out of her grabbing for the pole and him pulling her away just before she caught it. She was shrieking with laughter after several failed latch attempts.
“What’s this game called?” I asked over the laughter.
“Twisty Stripper,” Troy joked.
“Twisty Tipper!” Grace echoed.
He and I shared a stunned look, then we both burst out into laughter. “I’ll be sure to tell Jordan about the new game named in her honor.” I sank into the couch, expelling a happy sigh. We had just under a week ahead of us. I looked forward to exploring the city with Grace and spending time with Mercedes and her family while Troy worked. And then…back to real life.
That was the part I wasn’t looking forward to.
I wanted real life to feel like the thing I looked forward to. My entire marriage to Jericho had felt like one long dread spiral. I always dreaded him coming home. Dreaded our vacations. Dreaded making him upset.
That wouldn’t be the case with Troy. But we needed a day-to-day to look forward to. Not just the fringes of our separate existences.
A knock on the front door interrupted my thoughts. I twisted to look at the door, then over at Troy, who had Grace mid-air on her way to the pole.
“Are you expecting anyone?” I asked before hopping to my feet.
“No, but knowing the Fairchild crew, it could be any one of them behind that door. Or all of them.”
I laughed, checking my phone on my way. Nothing from Mercedes. As I neared the door, I heard the undertones of voices. Maybe it was Mercedes and Trace. But those booming undertones didn’t sound like her…I peered through the peephole, seeing the backs of a few broad-shouldered men. I frowned, looking back at Troy, who picked up on my concern.
“I’m coming.” He carried Grace in his arms in the plane position. She shrieked with laughter, holding out her arms as she zoomed along with him. He peered through the peephole first too, then pulled open the door. “Well my god…”
The amusement in his voice calmed me. The door swung open, revealing some familiar faces. Trace, with Willow in his arms, and Seven stood before us; Mercedes poked her head out from behind Trace next. Next to Seven there was an unfamiliar face, but his icy blue eyes reminded me of someone I’d seen a time or two on video chats.
“Oh my God!” I squeaked.
“You’re heeeere !” Mercedes surged forward and pulled me into a hug, laughing wildly. Her baby bump was so much bigger than the last time I’d seen her, and I could feel it pressing into my belly. Boisterous greetings were exchanged between all of us, Grace immediately squealing with excitement that her bestie Willow was here. After we exchanged hugs and I formally shook Nash Nightingale’s hand, the eight of us moved deeper into the apartment. Warmth flooded the room, filling me from head to toe with contentment.
“This is such a surprise!” I watched as Seven unloaded some big bags onto the island.
“You have Trojan to thank for that,” Seven said with a shy smile. He looked over at his best friend. “He sent me on a wild goose chase for this specific cheese board.”
Tears pricked at my eyes as I looked over at Troy. He watched me with so much love in his eyes that it was hard to look away, or even remember that there were other people in the room.
“Gotta get weird cheese for my girl,” Troy said simply. “And there’s no weirder cheese than in NYC.”
“Yeah, it’s kinda the sort of thing you might want to have more regularly,” Mercedes said brightly, popping in a cube of cheese as Seven unwrapped the board. She got first dibs, as the one currently growing a human. But I was next in line. I picked a cube and popped it in my mouth. Something smoked and buttery melted in my mouth and I let out a happy hum.
Holy shit. This was what it felt like to have a community. A real, grounded network. Jericho had deprived me of that for so long. I barely had any friends back in Kentucky thanks to his efforts to distance me from my high school and college friends.
“God, this is good. Nash, please have some.”
“I don’t want to interrupt your fun family night guys,” Nash said, his husky baritone the sort of voice that women paid money to hear. “I’m just here to drop off the keys.” He revealed a set of keys, grinning over at Troy, who returned the look.
I narrowed my eyes. Troy was keeping something from me.
“What’re the keys for?” I asked.
Nash looked at me guiltily. “I think that’s for him to explain. But just know, this guy loves you a whole lot. And I’m happy to support my family man bodyguard.”
“See, this is why I wanted to be here,” Seven said, reaching for a cheese cube.
Mercedes rolled her lips inward, looking like she was trying to keep herself from bursting.
Nash squeezed Troy’s shoulder and waved at the rest of us, heading for the door. “Enjoy your evening, friends.” We all called out our goodbyes and when the door shut I looked around at everyone.
“Guys…” I started.
Troy set the keys on the kitchen island and then scooped my hands into his. “Maddie, it’s no secret I’m fucking crazy about you. I want you and Grace in my life forever. I’m yours, and you two are mine. There’s no question about that. So when Nash and I negotiated our contract, I made sure to include some provisions for…the future.”
Emotion swelled in my chest. I almost couldn’t believe my ears. “Yeah?”
“I’ve got a company car now that’s better equipped for a family. My Jeep is going into storage. And these keys are for the condo I’m renting.”
Mercedes made a little squeak, but I couldn’t rip my eyes off Troy.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “The hormones are making it impossible to keep my excitement in.”
“What condo are you renting?”
“It’s up to you…but I thought you’d be most comfortable living a bit closer to family.” Troy’s heartbreaker grin came out to play as he rubbed his thumb back and forth across my knuckles. Then he looked over at Mercedes. “Do you want to tell her?”
“Maddie, he rented the condo right beneath where we live!” Her words came out rushed and loud, and I could tell it was a major relief for her to finally get it out. I covered my mouth with a hand, the tears already blurring my vision. “It’s above a bookstore ,” she added.
“Oh my God,” was all I could muster.
“I know we’re just starting out,” he went on. “But I’m all in. And whenever you choose to come live here full-time, just know that I’m ready.”
My ears rang from the warring pressures of excitement and disbelief. Was this real life?
“This is unbelievable,” I said, and then the tears finally broke the dam and streamed down my cheeks. Troy scooped me up into his arms and I cried into his chest. The tenderness of his decisions—including me in his plans, leaving space for me to join, or not join, on my own terms—was somehow the hottest thing anyone had ever done for me.
When I looked up, I found tears in his eyes too. I pushed onto my tiptoes, pressing my lips to his in a long, sweet kiss.
“I love you, Troy.” I cinched my arms around his neck and got lost in his warm, brown eyes. I never wanted to be anywhere else but here. In his arms.
“And I love you more, Maddie. I love you more than I even thought was possible.”
He kissed me again, and the rest of our friends and family hooted and hollered.
I was ready to marry this man. Bear his children. Take his last name.
But first, I’d start with the weird cheese board and a spring break in New York.
We had the rest of our lives ahead of us.