Chapter 32 #2
“Craig had no problem basically whoring me out. He had no regard for what I wanted and my feelings. In a weird way, this benefited me at times. It got me a Princeton education and it got me the six-figure job I held now. But the flip side of it is because Craig got me these things, I feel trapped. I feel like I owe him for life. If I were to ever try and escape, there would be no way out.”
“So, it’s safe to say that Craig had you manipulate me so that I would tell you details of the deal, and then Craig could use those to negotiate with my adoptive father and fuck me over.”
I wish I hadn’t said such words out loud, but we’d been there such a short time and I didn’t see anyone of too great a suspicion that I felt I’d gotten away with it. For now.
“More or less,” Layla said. “So now you know. It doesn’t excuse what I did. I should have had the guts to stand up and say I wasn’t going to screw you over. If I’d been a stronger woman…”
She began to sniffle, displaying emotions similar to what I had seen at our random encounter in the streets. Part of me… yeah, I had to say, part of me wanted to comfort her.
But I didn’t see her like that anymore, at least that’s what I told myself.
And she hadn’t been a stronger woman. She had failed to stand up to her ruthless uncle, while I had stood up to Edwin Hunt.
And she was older by a couple of years, so it’s not like she had no choice in the matter.
It’s not like she was less mature than me.
“I’m sorry, Chance.”
I simply said thank you and let silence fill the air.
“What do you want moving forward?”
I hadn’t expected the question and it forced me to stumble on my words.
“I, uhh, moving, what do you mean?”
“Between us.”
The idea that there would be anything between us… no, that was a little ridiculous. That smacked a little bit of wishful thinking on Layla’s part.
“Peace and civility,” I said.
“Nothing more?”
I should have expected this conversation for how much Layla messaged me. I should have known this was coming. Actually, I had, but I hadn’t given it the proper thought and respect it deserved.
“Layla, I appreciate you providing me the context that you have. I’m sorry that your uncle is a fucking nightmare. I’m sorry that you felt compelled to do those things. But the bottom line is, you did.”
“I know,” she said. I could tell she was trying to fight her emotions and mirror my stoic, composed state. “But do you remember what I asked you in the bedroom?”
I knew where she was going with this. I didn’t want to acknowledge it, even though I knew full well what she was referencing.
“Chance.”
“I know what you’re talking about,” I said.
“No, Chance, say it.”
For the first time since she had shattered my heart and my dreams, she looked forceful in her demands. Fine.
“I promised you I would love you no matter what.”
Layla nodded, a single tear falling down her cheek.
“I’ve only told you part of the story, Chance, but all you need to know is that hearing you say that meant more to my life than anything since my adoptive father died,” she said. “Are you going to tell me you didn’t mean it?”
“Of course I meant it,” I said before I could reconsider.
But even upon reconsideration, I knew that what I had felt in the moment was true, or at least I believed it was true.
But could I call it love if already I was making out with someone else and on the verge of going over there for more?
Could I call it love if I had called her all the things I had after the gala and then refused to see her as anything other than a manipulative, evil woman?
Could I call it love for where we stood now?
“Then why can’t we have that going forward?”
The immediate answer was weak. I was going to say “just because.”
The longer answer required some thought, but even then, the longer I sat and thought about it, the more it would seem like I was giving the question more merit than it deserved. I didn’t bother hiding my frustration when I groaned and put my hand on the table.
“It’s not that easy, Layla,” I said.
I thought about mentioning that I was seeing someone else, but one, I didn’t want to drive a knife into her, and two, that just wasn’t true. I was seeing Claire as much as I was seeing a casual hookup from college. It was far from official, far from exclusive, and far from even having happened.
“I can’t just flip a switch and go back to that, not after everything that happened.”
“But would it be?”
Honestly…
It wouldn’t be impossible.
The more I learn about you, Layla, the more I begin to reconsider everything that has happened.
“That’s a question for later,” I said.
I was getting nervous. Layla was pushing around my already flimsy defenses and making them even weaker.
I didn’t know what I wanted with Layla, in part because the reasons and rationale I gave myself were often based on emotional responses to situations.
I didn’t know if I really hated her guts.
I didn’t know if I considered her untrustworthy.
But I also didn’t know if this, right here, was an ugly continuation of her lies in the bedroom. I didn’t see a reason for it to be, as she didn’t have anything else to gain out of it, but liars tended to stay liars. Edwin Hunt proved that better than anyone else.
I had to go. Even though I knew I would see her again later.
“I have to run,” I said. “Business.”
“Business? Or avoiding questions?”
Well, she could bore into people when she wanted to. I had always known she was much more than a pretty face and a fantasy-filled body, but damn could she make things tough.
“Both,” I said, a degree of honesty I was surprised to have given. “I’ve got…”
I paused when I looked to my right. Two tables down, a man sat by himself, reading a book. But there was something about the way that he was positioned that made me more than a little uncomfortable. I shut my mouth.
“I’ll tell you more later, OK?”
I hoped that the soft tone of my voice and the metaphorical olive branch would be received by Layla in the right fashion. She seemed to get it well enough, and I departed with a gentle hand on her shoulder.
This new information… it certainly put Layla Taylor in a new light. I had more sympathy for her, and I hadn’t even brought up my situation with Claire and the role reversal, although that was a move probably made for the best.
I began to strongly suspect that my days and my interactions with Layla had not ended. In fact, they had only just begun.