Chapter Seven
Petal opened the door the following day to find Myth on her doorstep. She had run out of the clubhouse last night, on the odd chance there had been a taxi passing by. She’d held her hand out, and he’d taken her home.
She switched off her cell phone, and after a long hot shower, cried herself to sleep. The house phone had been ringing and she’d taken it off the hook, because she wanted to be left alone.
Dirty had told their secret. Yes, it had taken her some time to get over what happened, but she was slowly moving on, and now the whole club knew.
She didn’t know who she expected, Kim or Rosalie, but it surprised her to find Myth on her doorstep.
“Can I come in?” he asked.
Petal took a deep breath and then stepped back, giving him a chance to enter.
She moved away, going toward the kitchen. “Coffee?”
“Yeah, you know how I like it.”
Two sugars and cream. Myth had a sweet tooth, which was so sweet. Her hands shook as she started to prepare the coffee.
Petal closed the diner today. She had left the text for Rosalie, and that had gone to Burto. The last thing she wanted was to put their diner in trouble, but she couldn’t face going to work.
Rosalie now knew the truth. The whole club knew, and facing that terrified her.
“How are you?”
Myth asked.
The kettle hadn’t long boiled and she poured them a drink. She didn’t want to sit.
“I don’t know. Last night … I don’t even know what happened. One moment we were having fun, and the next, the truth.”
“You never told anyone?”
“Dirty knew. He … before the shooting, I told him, and he asked if it was his.”
She frowned. “As he admitted last night, when we were together, I was a virgin, and I don’t cheat. I was only his.”
She pressed her lips together. “I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I had a party to organize and I was about to tell Gabrielle, and she wanted get more decorations, and then the shooting. I lost the baby. Kim knew the truth. She figured it out with the help of the hospital bill. There was no reason to tell anyone.”
“That is what you’ve been carrying?”
Myth asked.
“It’s nothing.”
“This is why you can’t forgive Dirty?”
“He didn’t want to have a child and he didn’t even believe the child I was carrying was his.”
She laughed. “Wow, I cannot believe I’m even talking about this. I promised I wouldn’t say anything. No one was supposed to know.”
“That is not the kind of stuff you keep locked up. You should have said something.”
“What good would it have done?”
Petal asked. “I was barely pregnant. Gabrielle died. I lost my baby, but I was fine. Daemon went on a rampage. My best friend went to go and kill him. It wasn’t as important.”
“Petal, you’re important. You know this.”
She shook her head. “I … I didn’t know what to say to Rosalie, or to you. I just wanted to forget it.”
“I’m not hurt, Petal. This is painful. I wish I could have been there for you. I mean, I know we’re only just friends, but you’re a good friend.”
“Myth, you barely know me.”
“But you get me. I don’t have anyone I can just sit and chill with, without it meaning anything. The guys want to fuck women, or talk about fucking women, or talk club. The women want to be fucked. They want to be with me, wear my patch. You’re the only woman that just wants to be my friend.”
“Sorry?”
He laughed. “You don’t have to be sorry.”
Petal smiled.
“I like being your friend.”
“I like it too,”
Petal said. “It’s kind of unusual as I’ve never had a male friend before. It has always been me and Rosalie against the world, but this is nice. I like being around you. You helped me forget.”
“That’s not going to change,”
Myth said.
“You know, Dirty said something to me a few months back, pretty much implying that no one could be my friend because there is always an agenda.”
“I’m not here for the club, Petal. We get along. It shouldn’t work but it does.”
“It does, doesn’t it?”
she said, laughing.
At the sound of her door ringing, she looked over at Myth. “Do you know who that is?”
“Not a clue. I better head back to the clubhouse.”
He got to his feet and held his arms open. “Hug?”
She rolled her eyes but stepped into his arms. It may have only been a few months, but they had gotten close. He was her friend. They were not as tight as she and Rosalie, but it was there. She knew their friendship was growing, and she also knew that was all it would be, all either of them wanted.
There was a knock at the door, and she pulled away.
“Someone is being pretty persistent.”
Petal laughed and she walked with him to the front door. She opened it, expecting to find either Kim or Rosalie. Her mother was on the doorstep.
“Mom,” she said.
“Petal, honey, I didn’t come at a bad time, did I?”
her mother asked.
Petal glanced toward Myth and she was a little speechless. Her mother had never visited her.
“Uh, no, Myth was just leaving. Myth, this is my mom, Mom, this is Myth.”
“Pleasure to meet you, Petal’s Mom,”
Myth said.
“Please call me Petal,”
her mother said.
“Petal?”
Yep, her father was called George, which was also her brother’s name, and of course, her name was Petal, after her mother.
She smiled at Myth. The two shook hands, and Myth put a comforting hand on her shoulder and then stepped out of the way.
Petal watched him go and turned toward her mother.
It took her a second to realize she needed to invite her in. “Come in,” she said.
Her mother had chuckled. “Is that your boyfriend?”
“Myth? No, he’s not my boyfriend. He’s my friend.”
She closed the door and turned toward her mother.
This was odd. Her mother was dressed in a pair of jeans and a large oversized coat, which she took off. Petal didn’t know what to say. She was used to seeing her mother in pajamas.
“Is everything okay? Do you need help?”
Petal asked.
“Actually, I came to give this to you.”
Her mother pulled out an envelope. “This is the first payment, and we’ll have more soon.”
Petal frowned as she took the envelope from her mother and then pulled out a check. “What’s this?”
“Your father and I did some calculating, and we came up with a sum, added interest, and we’re going to be paying you back. Your father finally got that promotion, and I went to the doctor’s and have been getting help—a lot of help—and for the first time in over twenty years, I finally feel like myself.”
“Mom, you don’t have to do this.”
She reached out to hand the check back, but her mother put her hand over it. “Yes, I do. I have plenty to repay you and George for. We have already reached out to your brother, and on his next vacation, he’s coming home. I want you to come around for dinner as well, and I want to say thank you for being an amazing daughter, and I’m so sorry I was a shitty mother.”
“Mom, come on, you don’t have to worry about any of this.”
She felt the burn at the back of her throat.
“I was never supposed to be this way,”
her mother said. “All I ever wanted was to be a good wife and a fantastic mother. My own mother said it was going to be hard, that I underestimated what it took to raise a family, and you know what, she was right. I failed you, I failed George, I failed my sons and daughters, but no more.”
“Where’s David?”
“With your father, along with the others. You do not have to worry. I put too much on you at a young age. I’m going to make that right.”
Her mom reached out and stroked her cheek. “You have turned into a fine woman, and I know it had nothing to do with me, but all to do with Gabrielle. She raised you where I failed.”
“Mom, stop.”
“I know this, and I accept it. I hate it. I hate that I failed you, and when you were in the hospital I would have been nothing more than a burden to you while you were recovering—”
“What?”
Petal asked, confused.
“When you were in the hospital, after you had gotten shot. You father and I went, and it was a reality check. Your friend, I don’t remember his name, something to do with mud.”
“Dirty,”
Petal said.
“Yeah, he was there and he told us we should be ashamed. That you needed to rest and not be the parent. He opened our eyes, and he has done that twice now.”
“He has, has he?”
And it was then that she learned Dirty had been to visit her parents and given them both a cold dose of reality, and it pulled her mother out of her spiral in a way no one had been able to do before.
She came to learn that her parents did in fact attempt to visit her at the hospital. Dirty stopped it. Did he have the right to do that? Hell, no. Would she have felt pressured and worried about her parents more than what was happening to her? Yes, and she hated that Dirty had thought of that.
“Your father and I started to talk a lot more, and I told him the truth. Most of the time, the hot meal he got at night wasn’t cooked by me, but by you or one of the kids. That you took care of everything.”
Her mother’s eyes were glazed with tears. “When you should have been worried about boys or studying, or doing anything else, you were being the mother.”
“Mom, don’t worry about it. I was helping.”
“You weren’t just helping. You were doing, and that is why your father and I are going to take care of everything from now on. We’re going to pay you back the money we owe you.”
“Mom, come on, I was helping family.”
“And it was us that were supposed to support you. You shouldn’t be the one taking care of us. That will come later, much later, but for now, we’re taking care of you.”
Her mother reached out and cupped her cheek. “I’m going to be the mother you deserve.”
“Mom, you are the mother I love and deserve.”
“I’m going to be better because you, Sweetheart, deserve better. All my children do.”
There was something different with her mother. A spark. She didn’t quite know what it was, but she had never seen her mother this way. It was so refreshing. Petal couldn’t help it. She moved toward her mother, and for the first time in what felt like a lifetime, and probably was, she stepped into her mother’s arms and held her tightly. This felt good. Better than good.
“I’ve got you, honey.”
She held onto her mother. She didn’t know how long the hug lasted, but at the sound of the kettle whistling, she finally let her mother go.
“Drink?”
“Tea, please. I’ve already had more coffee and my nerves are a little jittery.”
Petal laughed, and she made a drink for the two of them. Rather than drink it in the kitchen, they walked into the living room, sat down, and talked. She heard more about her father’s promotion, how Betty, one of her sisters, had gotten a credit at school. George finally took the phone call from his parents and promised to visit them when he was on leave.
It was good to catch up, and when her mother looked at her watch, she clicked her tongue. “I’ve got to go,”
her mother said.
Petal took the mug from her, got to her feet, and followed her to the front door.
“Don’t be a stranger, and you know what I’m thinking?”
her mother asked.
“Not a clue,”
Petal said with a smile.
“You and I should do lunch some time, or maybe the family will come to that new diner of yours.”
Petal’s smile widened. “I’d like that.”
Her mother hugged her tightly. “Love you, Flower,”
her mother said.
Petal felt tears fill her eyes. Her mother hadn’t called her that in a long time.
“I love you, Mom,” she said.
Opening the door, Petal came face to face with Rosalie. She looked at her best friend, whose eyes went wide when she saw Petal’s mother.
“Mrs. Hargreaves,”
Rosalie said.
“Please call me Petal, Sweetheart. I am so sorry to hear about your mother. George and I both were.”
“Thank you,”
Rosalie said.
Petal watched as her mother and Rosalie embraced.
“We should all catch up soon, but I must get off. I’ve got work to do.”
Her mother winked at her, and Petal smiled.
“Your mother visited?”
Rosalie asked.
At the sight of her best friend, her anger at Dirty came forward.
“Yeah, it would seem my dad finally got that promotion he’d been chasing, and Dirty paid my parents a visit and gave them a reality check or something.”
Rosalie had stepped into the house, and Petal carried the used mugs to the kitchen. She knew her friend would come. Petal hoped to go to Rosalie, but between Myth’s visit and her mother’s, there was no chance of that happening now.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Rosalie asked.
She should have known Rosalie would just get right into it. No holding back. They had been doing this their entire lives. Admittedly, over more stupid things, like one of them not understanding math, or a textbook. They agreed to not keep anything between them, and Petal knew she had fucked up, broken their sister code by not telling her best friend the truth.
With the mugs clean, she grabbed a towel and turned back toward her friend. Rosalie looked so heartbroken.
“In all honesty, I don’t know why I didn’t tell you.”
She shrugged. “With everything going on, you didn’t need to know what happened.”
“Petal, you’re my best friend, and from what I hear, that wasn’t little. You had a relationship with Dirty, and not only that, you were pregnant.”
She held her hand up. “No, I didn’t have a relationship with Dirty. We were … having sex. That was all it was.”
“Cut the bullshit. This is not your mom or some stranger you’re talking to. This is me, your best friend, and I know you. Regardless of what you’re saying, you wouldn’t have been with Dirty if you didn’t feel something.”
“What I felt wasn’t the point. He didn’t feel it, Rose. I did. That’s why I didn’t say anything. He was done with me. Through. He didn’t want to be with me.”
She didn’t want to keep talking because she knew she was going to cry, and crying was the last thing she wanted to do. She’d cried too many tears already.
After what Dirty did last night, she didn’t want anything to do with him. Not a damn thing. She hated him more than anything.
“Talk to me,”
Rosalie said. “You got pregnant.”
“And I lost it. Don’t you get that? I lost it when I was shot.”
Rosalie put her hand against her mouth. “Oh my God, I am so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“They were supposed to get me and Colt. Not you, not my mom. Me and Colt.”
“Stop,”
Petal said. “I don’t wish they got you that day, Rose. I swear.”
She went to her friend. “You are my best friend. I love you, and I would do anything for you.” She pulled her close and didn’t want to let her go.
****
Dirty groaned and rubbed his eyes, and the world was spinning. It had been a long time since he drank like that, and he felt the sickness swirling in his gut. He was close to vomiting. But he didn’t. He somehow kept that inside.
Then he felt the water splash on his face and any idea he had about waking up slowly vanished, as his mattress was also pushed out from under him and he ended up in a heap on the floor. It was then he realized Colt and Myth were in his bedroom.
“Guys, what the ever-loving fuck?” he asked.
The cold had helped to wake him up, but it had also reminded him he had a bad fucking headache. He put a hand to the back of his head and groaned.
“Feeling like shit?”
Myth asked.
“Yeah, if it’s all the same to you, I feel like total shit.”
He didn’t even know why he was attempting to mouth off.
“You don’t even remember, do you?”
Colt asked.
He looked toward his best friend and frowned. Myth was pissed, as was Colt, and he had no idea why. None of this made any sense to him.
“Clearly I got drunk last night,”
he said. It was pretty much all he could remember.
“Yeah, you got drunk last night, and do you remember what else you did?”
Myth asked.
He rubbed his eyes, trying to clear his head, but he couldn’t find a single reason.
“Let me remind you, Petal was there, as was Rosalie.”
Dirty looked at Myth, then at Colt.
“No,”
Dirty said.
“Oh, yeah, you told the whole club exactly how ripe Petal was. That she lost your baby, and you warned Myth that if he was going to be with her, she was ripe for the taking, and he would need to bag his dick.”
And against all the odds of the alcohol he consumed last night, it came rushing back at him in a swirling mess. Either Myth or Colt knocked him out, and for that he was grateful.
“I get why you’re pissed,”
he said, looking toward Myth. “You and her are a couple, right?”
Myth shook his head. “Petal and I are friends. That’s it.”
“Bullshit. There is no way you can be near Petal and just be friends. Have you looked at her recently? How gorgeous she is?”
he asked, taken aback that Myth wasn’t dating her, or doing something with her. It seemed so fucking insane to him. Petal was fire.
“I’m not interested in Petal that way. We’re friends. I like her honesty. Her spirit.”
“And here I was, thinking Kim wanted you to keep an eye on her.”
“No,”
Myth said. “I liked her because no matter what was thrown at Rosalie, Petal never backed down. Even on the wedding night, she was there for her friend. Surrounded by two biker groups, men that had killed without batting an eye. She didn’t run. She stayed at Rosalie’s side and even threatened Colt. She’s a good friend who is not interested in me.”
Now he felt like such a bastard, because the truth was, he was jealous. Those smiles Myth was getting belonged to him. He knew he fucked everything up.
“Why you?”
Dirty asked, turning toward Colt. He didn’t have much of a comeback for Myth.
At the end of the day, his own need for Petal was driving him to distraction, and he couldn’t make it stop. He wanted her so badly, all the time. Not a moment went by when he wasn’t thinking about her. Never had he fucked up so badly, and last night was a low point.
“Rosalie,”
Colt said. “With your admission last night, I never told her I sent you to keep Petal occupied. Now she is pissed at me, because her best friend got hurt, and that means my wife is upset. I slept on the fucking couch last night. Do you have any idea what it’s like to get used to someone in your bed, enjoy having them there, and then have it taken away?”
Dirty had a feeling Colt was going to tell him. And he did.
Colt didn’t sleep at all last night. He didn’t have his wife in his arms, and this was such a change for him. The Colt that hated the very image of Rosalie was now unable to get a good night’s sleep unless she was in his arms. Even when they were on the road, he struggled to get to sleep. Most of the time, they ended up talking until Colt eventually drifted to sleep. It was why he often grabbed Rosalie and left for a bedroom.
Dirty didn’t even think they had sex that first time, when Colt was back. He always assumed his friend merely held his wife and went to sleep.
“What the fuck did I do?”
Dirty asked.
He ran his hand down his face and released a breath. Holy shit, what had he done last night? This was not good. He saw Petal and Myth together, and he fucked up.
“I’ve got to go,”
Dirty said, getting to his feet, but the world was still spinning.
“You need to have a shower, some coffee, and then we’ll see if you’re even fit to ride.”
The rest of the morning was a blur, as the cold of the shower sent a shockwave through his body, followed by the caffeine. Dirty couldn’t remember ever drinking that much in his entire life, but he had no choice but to drink something. His mouth tasted funny.
Then, when he was pumped up and could walk in a straight line, recite his alphabet, and the guys had their fun, he was on his bike and riding toward Petal.
He knew this was not going to end well for him. Last night, he had fucked everything up even more than before, and now he was pissed at himself. Why couldn’t he have asked to talk to her in private, or done something, or said something, or left? Why did he have to be a fucking jerk last night?
The ride to her home was a blur. He couldn’t remember any of it. It was cold as hell outside. That was helping him to stay sober. He was pretty sure there was still some whiskey swirling in his gut, along with the coffee. At the moment, he couldn’t think straight.
Then, he walked up to her door and rang the bell. He didn’t have a clue what he would say, or what he was going to do to make it up to her. Last night, he had fucked up in a big way, and now he didn’t know what to do or say. What did he say in a moment like this?
The door opened and there was Petal. Her hair was wild, and she looked ready to commit murder. Even though she looked angry at him, he saw the pain in her eyes and knew he caused that, and what was more, he had hurt her. That pain was all him. There was no denying it. Even as he saw the pain, he saw the rage.
She took a step toward him, then another step, and he was about to pull her into his arms, but Petal did something he wasn’t expecting. He hadn’t seen her draw her knee up, but that didn’t stop her from shoving that knee all the way into his dick. He didn’t protect himself, and he grunted as Petal took a step back.
“How dare you?”
“Petal, I’m sorry.”
“Sorry. You’re sorry. I don’t know what I did to you but you know what, we are done. I want nothing to do with you. I don’t want you near me. Stay the hell away from me, Dirty. You and I were never meant to happen, and are never going to happen.”
She turned on her heel and slammed the door closed. Dirty had known he fucked up with her. Saying the shit he said when she told him she was pregnant, he fucked up. But, he hoped he could come back from it.
There was no coming back from it. He had fucked up.
Petal was never going to forgive him, and he knew he had to live with what he had done.