Chapter 2
2
Tipping my head upward, the tension in my muscles slowly loosens as the water cascades down my body. One night in my own bed and a hot shower, I’m a new man. As smooth as our driver is when we’re on tour, there is nothing that beats a stationary bed, especially when it costs as much as mine did. One night alone has already corrected months of strain.
Even though I love touring, I can admit it is nice to be home for a few days. Especially when I’ll get to fill those days with my sister, Lainey. Despite touring with two of my brothers, Lainey is the sibling I am closest to. Maybe it’s because I spend too much time with my brothers.
After forming a trio before we hit puberty, Declan, Grayson, and I rode around Texas playing county fairs, rodeos, and anywhere else that Mom could get to take us. At one show, a producer for a kids’ TV network was in the audience. A few auditions later, we moved to Nashville to spend the next few years filming Along for the Ryde before launching into a music career.
I used to feel guilty about uprooting Lainey’s childhood, until I realized she thrives in chaos the same way I do. My love language is stirring the pot and she is my favorite victim. Despite all the shit I give her, I am proud as hell of her for graduating. I know I wouldn’t have had it in me to make it through college. Hell, I didn’t even have to go to real high school, and I still struggled.
I’d never admit it, but one of the best parts of our show ending was that I didn’t have to attend set school anymore. I got my GED to make my mom happy and then called it a day on my education. Don’t get me wrong, I still learn things every day, but things like chords to our new song or the difference between whiskey and bourbon.
Atypical childhood aside, my life has been awesome. The Ryder Brothers, as our band has officially known, has been going nonstop since our first album was released almost eight years ago. Three double platinum records, eight CMAs, and one documentary later, the Ryder Brothers are a household name. If I had my way, we’d go straight to the studio after this tour to record the next album. Unfortunately, it isn’t up to me.
Declan and Grayson are tired of our two year album write-record-tour cycle. I get the vibe that they’re itching for something new. How they aren’t fulfilled by a nationwide tour of the country album that won us a Grammy is beyond me. They talk about other goals they have which is great, but where does that leave the band? Where does that leave me?
Shaking my head to clear the heavy thoughts, I wrap a towel around my waist and I step out of the shower. During my extensive mustache maintenance routine—it takes more care than you’d think—I see our brother chat light up.
8:53 AM
Dec
Will you be ready by 10? We’re going to stream the ceremony at the restaurant. That way when Lainey gets there we’ll be in position for the surprise.
He sent it to the group, but I know he’s asking me. Grayson is chronically punctual. Mom says Grayson has been on time since the day he was born, coming at midnight on his due date. The fact that my sister and I rarely run on time drives him crazy. It drives Dec mad, too, but that’s because he’s a control freak.
Gray
Lainey still doesn’t know, right?
Dec
As long as Jack didn’t spill the beans.
You know I love a good surprise. I want to see her face when she sees us at lunch. And yes, I’ll be ready at 0100 hours sharp, drill sergeant.
Dec
0100 is not ten o’clock. *sigh*
Call me whatever you want as long as you’re ready.
I’ll be at your door at ten. If you aren’t outside I am dragging your ass out no matter what state it is in and you can explain to the PR team why you were around town in a towel.
Sir, yes, sir!
Gray
Don’t call him, Sir, J. You know he enjoys that too much.
Dec
Why do I put up with you two?
See you in an hour .
As much as I joke with my brothers, I love them. We may all have distinct personalities, but it is part of what makes us successful. We each know our roles and stay in our own lane.
Before getting dressed, I know I am going to need caffeine to deal with Declan’s grumpy face, and I know for sure he won’t stop on the way. Reaching into the back of my bottom cabinet, I pull out my single serve coffee maker. It looks ridiculous sitting next to the overly expensive machine on my countertop Lainey insisted that I get. Something about, ‘If you’re going to be a rich asshole, I should at least be able to get a premium cup of coffee when I stay at your place.’
I pointed out that I could buy her a fancy espresso machine, but she declined. She claimed that it was already hard enough living in the dorms as the ‘Girl Ryder.’ She didn’t need the extra heat of a thousand dollar coffee maker, which is fair, I guess. I also think she uses it as an excuse to drop by more often. It’s cute she won’t admit she misses me and instead ‘drops by for coffee.’ I’ll carry the secret of my second machine to the grave.
Even though we spend a lot of time away from Lainey and Nashville, when I am home, she and I get together often. And when I’m not in town, I still catch her at my place on my security cameras. I don’t mind that she uses it to escape college life occasionally. Plus, I get a kick out of hiding the life-size cut out of Dad we got for his birthday around the house for her to stumble upon. Her reactions are hilarious. Hopefully, surprising her at her graduation lunch will be as good.
Surprising Lainey was one of the highlights of my year. She shrieked so loud when she came in that it left my ears ringing. It’s a miracle no other patrons called 9-1-1. The hug she gave me made the potential hearing loss worth it.
She’d never say it, but I know us being there meant a lot to her. She wears a sassy facade, but she has always seemed more relaxed when we’re around, even if we tease her. She gives it as good as she gets. She had to, with three older brothers and one younger one.
Growing up as our little sister was hard for her. Lainey never knew if people were her friends because they genuinely liked her or they were trying to get to us. We were all relieved when she found a group of girls to surround herself with in school who didn’t care who she was related to. It helped that one of those girls had been her best friend since they were in elementary school.
With our filming schedule, Ellie was at our house more than we were growing up. She and Lainey were attached at the hip from the moment they met. The two attending college together was no surprise. Where there is one, the other is nearby. I take credit for their friendship since I technically met Ellie first.
Because of the girls’ friendship, Ellie is in a lot of my memories of early success. I could always count on her to soften Lainey’s sass, but they both never let our fame get to our heads. It’s hard to get too cocky when your little sister and her friend make you attend tea parties. I used to joke that Ellie was the only girl who’d ever want the real me. And she told me our music was only okay, and we were no Jesse McCartney. I teased her about that for years while also intentionally never introducing the two.
There was always something special about Ellie. She was whip smart, kind, and put together in a way I never was. Even as a sixteen-year-old with a hit TV show, I was intimidated by the twelve-year-old next door who read books bigger than my head for fun. I could barely get through our weekly scripts and child actor math. I was drifting through life happily while Ellie had binders filled with magazine clippings and vision boards.
It must have worked for her since the last I heard she was graduating with an MBA. Due to our touring schedule and the girls no longer living on my parents’ cul-de-sac, I haven’t seen Ellie in years. She should be at the graduation celebration we are on our way to, and I’m looking forward to razzing her up after all this time. Her pale complexion always turned the brightest pink.
When we enter the bar and I spot her, I am not prepared for what I see. Last time I laid eyes on her, she was a fresh-faced eighteen-year-old and we were riding high off our second CMA win. Lainey brought her along to the awards afterparty and my brothers and I had to warn more than a few guys away from the pair as they enjoyed themselves. Later in the night, Declan tucked them into one of his spare bedrooms and that was the last time I saw her in person.
I’ve seen a few photos on Lainey’s social media, but those pictures don’t do justice to the beauty in front of me. With creamy white skin and pale blonde hair, there is something ethereal about Ellie. If you told me she was descended from Gaelic fairies, I wouldn’t be surprised. The pale pink dress that seems to float around her only adds to that image.
I have to actively pull my jaw off the floor to stop checking her out. Lusting after Lainey’s best friend and my de facto little sister is not cool. If only my body could get on board with that. Maybe it’s time to reevaluate our no groupie policy on the tour because being hard up is the only logical reason I am having these thoughts right now.
As if she can feel the weight of my stare on her, Ellie glances up and locks eyes with mine. Falling into her crystal depths, I am transported back to the first time I met her, a lifetime ago when I wasn’t Jack Ryder, but simply a boy meeting a girl.
After telling Mom how bored I was with all our stuff still in boxes, she suggested ‘get my energy out’ walking through the field behind our new house. Trudging through the tall grass, I hear a squeak as I trip over something. Not something, someone I realize.
“Are you okay?” I ask, when I right myself. Glancing to where the noise originated, big blue eyes stare up at me through a curtain of white blonde hair.
“You’re new,” her soft voice says when the sound of a buzzing bee breaks our locked gazes.
Without speaking, I grab her outstretched hand in mine pulling her up to her feet from the patch of weeds I knocked her into. She’s younger, younger than me, anyway. I’d put her around the same age as my sister, though she is a bit taller and far more angelic than rough and tumble Lainey.
“Who are you?” I ask.
“Who are you? I can’t give my name to a stranger,” she replies. Fair.
“I’m Jack. I live here.”
“Hi Jack, I’m Ellie. I live here, too.”
“Here?” I question pointing to the new house my family moved into a few days ago. We’ve been out of the house a lot meeting with people at the studio, but I think I’d remember a pretty blonde fairy living in our house.
“No, silly. Next door. We used to have a field like this in our yard, but my mom and dad put a pool in the backyard. Mrs. Jonas let me come out here to pick flowers since mine were gone.”
I’d rather have a pool than a field, but based on her pout, I don’t think she’d agree.
“What do you need flowers for?” I ask. Grayson says I’m nosy, but Mom says I have a curious mind.
“‘Cause they’re pretty and they make my mommy happy.” Thrusting her hand in my face, I take in the ones she’s collected before asking the more interesting question. “Is your mom sad?”
“Sometimes. Usually when she’s sad, Dad brings her flowers and presents and she gets happy again. But he’s been gone for a while. They were yelling on the phone last night and she’s been in her room all day crying.”
I nod my head in understanding. Not that I do, really. But at thirteen you think you have life figured out and one thing I know for sure it’s that girls crying is bad. For that reason, and to see a smile across her rosy cheeks, I decide to help Ellie.
“C’mon. I see some red flowers on a bush over there. I’ll help you reach them.”
“You will?” she asks excitedly. I nod my head.
“Thanks, Jack.”
“You got it, Wildflower.” She blushes at the nickname and I think the color is prettier than all the flowers in the world.
The trance between Ellie and I is broken when Declan draws her into a conversation. For a brief moment, I wonder if we both drifted back to the same memory. There is no way Ellie’s mind is on me tonight, with everything else going on.
Escaping to the bar to grab a much needed drink, I can’t stop my gaze from shifting to Ellie all night. I haven’t seen her in years, but the thought of going a year, a month, or even a minute without seeing her again stirs something unpleasant inside me. That burning sensation in my gut only grows when I see her laughing and smiling with my brothers. I want to be the one to draw that reaction, any reaction out of her. God, that sounds insane.
Not so insane that I don’t follow her when she breaks off from the crowd to go to the bathroom. I thought girl’s always did that shit together? Is it safe for her to go alone? Safety. That’s why I’m trailing behind her in this bar like a total creep. What kind of big brother would I be if I didn’t watch over Lainey’s friend? It’s a weak argument, but I don’t have time to think of a better one when Ellie walks directly into my chest exiting the ladies’ room. Unlike my earlier memory, she remains upright this time.
“Whoa there,” I grunt, taking the bulk of the impact as my hands wrap around her waist to keep her upright. Which was a mistake because every part of my body touching hers lights up with electricity. Has anyone ever felt this good in my arms? Letting her fall would almost be worth not asking myself that question. But then she could have gotten hurt and I can’t have that.
“Oops,” her sweet voice lilts as I take a step away, allowing her to stand on her own.
Now that I’m not right on top of her, I can see her in finer detail. The glimpse I got across the bar is nothing compared to this. Of course a fashion major would pick a dress that somehow accentuates all her curves without showing too much skin.
Her outfit is a perfect mix of classy and sensual. The combination is lethal on my nervous system since I haven’t managed to say anything after my initial grunt. No greeting, no asking if she is okay, just staring at her as if she’s the first woman I’ve seen in years. And maybe she is.
No. No, she isn’t. She’s Ellie—Lainey’s Ellie. She is not someone for me to lust after no matter how hard I’m having to bit back the groan at the perfect flush of her cheeks that travels down her chest. I wonder how far—no! I have got to get it together.
Darting my eyes up her body, trying to take in as little as possible, I meet her glassy-eyed stare. A mix of shyness and confidence glimmers in her gaze. There is a hint of shyness or apprehension there as well. Though, I’m not sure why.
“Hi rock star,” she states when I still haven’t said anything else. I usually cringe at that term, but from her lips, it’s a call back to the days she and Lainey would tease us for our heartthrob status. “Thanks for catching me.”
Clearing my throat, I finally manage to rush out some words. “Yeah, always. I mean, of course. I’ll never let you fall.”
I’ll never let you fall? What am I saying? I take it back. I was better off not talking. I’m supposed to be the smooth Ryder. Jesus Christ.
Thankfully, Ellie either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care about my weird declaration. She’s a couple of drinks in. I’m sure that helps.
“Are you having fun?” I ask, regaining my composure.
“Sure am. It’s the last night before life gets real. I’m making the most of every moment.”
As I roll her statement over in my mind wondering what it could mean, her hand lands on my arm. “Are you having fun?”
Ellie squeezes my bicep, watching her hand as if it is someone else’s. Her eyes widen when I flex under her touch before answering her. If I didn’t know better, I’d think she was trying to flirt with me.
“It’s nice being able to go out. It’s been a minute. We’re usually too tired to do much after our shows on tour.”
“Tour,” she repeats as if it is foreign word. Suddenly, she yanks her hand back and fiddles with her fingers in front of her. She went from bold to uncomfortable. I don’t like that. I hate when other people are uneasy around me.
“That dress is gorgeous,” I comment in an attempt to distract her from whatever spiral she’s going down and it does the trick. Tipsy, smiley Ellie is back.
“Thanks! It’s been in my closet for ages but I kept saving it for a special occasion. When I saw it today I decided I deserved to feel pretty.”
Ellie twirls around to show off the dress and almost knocks into someone passing through the hall. This time, I grab her arm instead of her waist.
“You’re always pretty, Wildflower,” slips out before I can stop it. Did my filter break? Ellie and I haven’t talked about the night we met ever. In fact, she swore me to secrecy before we parted ways. Her parents didn’t allow her to venture into the field alone and she didn’t want to get in trouble. I told everyone I met her playing in her front yard and it’s never been brought up since.
I used to call her the nickname as a taunt that I had one of her secrets. It was the perfect leverage to get her to keep Lainey in line. As we grew older and drifted our separate ways, I forgot about it until tonight. Now, the desire to have more of her secrets wars in my chest as she peers at me through her lashes, lip worried between her teeth.
My mind is scrambling for something, anything to say when her friend Macy steps into the hall.
“There you are!” she shouts. “Lainey convinced the DJ to play our song next. Let’s wobble, baby.”
As Ellie edges past me, her floral scent floats in the space she vacated. With a final glance at me over her shoulder and a soft smile she disappears into the mass of bodies on the dance floor. I don’t know when I’ll see her again, but the prospect of it not being soon sits uncomfortably in my chest.