Chapter 14
14
When Lainey told us about the internship, we were happy for her. Working with Marcia Tabers in any capacity is career making for a stylist, but especially one trying to break into the industry. We would never deny Lainey the opportunity to pursue her dreams. As bummed as we are that she’s leaving, we know she is going to kill it in LA.
That said, driving my baby sister to the airport was hard. It’s weird being on this end of the spectrum. We’ve left for tours, specials, and photoshoots countless times. But dropping Lainey off at the airport was one of the hardest goodbyes we’ve had as siblings. It didn’t help to watch the tearful exchange between her and Ellie.
When it was my turn, Lainey made me promise to watch out for her best friend and make sure she was taken care of. I was given explicit instructions to make sure she doesn’t forget to eat when she gets busy working or stressed. I have noticed she tends to be hungry after shows but I didn’t think anything of it since I am, too. Ellie doesn’t perform for an hour and a half on stage, though.
She also told me in no uncertain terms to remind Ellie that she doesn’t owe her dad anything and that she should tell him to screw off. I have no idea what that is about, but my curiosity is piqued. I give Lainey my word Ellie is in safe hands.
With all those emotions swelling inside me, it took all my restraint to not pull a sniffling Ellie in my arms on the way home. The urge to comfort her was overwhelming. I’m glad I was in the front seat, otherwise, I might have given in. I hated seeing her sad, so I made it my mission to keep her mind off it.
As much as I wish it could have been with the rush of endorphins that comes from an orgasm, I went a different direction. With Lainey gone, I need to be even more careful about my contact with Ellie. Dec and Gray are around, but they are nowhere near as good of a buffer as Lainey was.
I’ve spent the last week teasing Ellie any chance I can get. It’s giving ‘pulling her hair on the playground,’ but luckily my natural joke-y personality is masking the deeper motives. I know I shouldn’t push her buttons, but it’s hard not to when she gives me the reactions I want. Her cheeks turn the prettiest pink when she’s embarrassed. I’m addicted to the color. I’m desperate to see how far down the flush goes.
My favorite prank to date was laying on the bottom bunk and grabbing her ankle when she passed by. She wasn’t impressed. Her reaction wasn’t nearly as funny as Grayson’s. He screamed so loud security came to check on him.
Since Ellie seemed particularly sad as we headed out of St. Louis, I decide she needs something to turn her frown upside down. She’s napping now, and I just so happen to have picked up a fake spider at our last stop. I call that fate.
As quietly as I can I approach her door. Turning the handle, I slowly pull it open when the timber of a male voice rings in my ear. There is no reason anyone aside from Ellie, but especially a man should be in her room. She could be on the phone, but I know she talked to her dad last night because she was in a foul mood after. Leaning against the door to hear better, I know it isn’t him based on the soft tone.
Shhh. It’s okay, baby girl. It was just a nightmare. You’re okay.
Ellie’s having nightmares? Does she normally? And who the fuck did she call to talk about it?
I know it feels real, but none of that would ever happen. It’s just some terrible scenario your brain cooked up. Sometimes when we are super stressed, it bleeds into our dreams and manifests in weird ways.
A stress dream? It’s only been a week and I’m already failing at keeping Ellie from stressing out. Damnit. I had one job. I didn’t check on her eating once this week. I’m failing at this whole ‘take care of Ellie’ thing. Lainey would be disappointed.
We can look up what those things meant. Maybe it will help you understand what your subconscious is thinking. Nuh uh. Not now. You can look tomorrow. Now we’re going back to sleep. Yes. Yes we are. You need sleep, baby. You have a big day tomorrow.
What’s happening tomorrow? We will arrive in Iowa, but we don’t have a show for two days. Tomorrow is a rest day. They should have plenty of time to get merch set up.
Don’t worry. I got you. I won’t fall asleep until I know you’re out. Of course, sweetheart. You should never feel bad about waking me up. I always want you to wake me up when you have a bad dream. That’s what I’m here for. Come on. Lay on top of me and—
Nope, fuck that. She is not fake laying on what every asshat she called to comfort her. Abandoning my prank, I fling open the door, ready to face the intruder, but instead I only see a now gaping Ellie clutching her chest.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“Who is he?” I ask, still hearing his voice but seeing no one.
“Who is who?”
Her eyes widen when she registers the noise. Scrambling onto her knees, she digs through the covers until she finds her phone. Pressing a few buttons she pushes it under her pillow.
“Why are you in here, Jack?”
“Answer my question first.”
“There is nothing to answer.”
She won’t meet my eyes and I hate it. If she’s going to lie to me, she can at least do it to my face. Putting a knuckle under her chin, I tip it up until her eyes meet mine. “Who?” I growl.
“I don’t know.”
“You’re calling strangers? That isn’t safe, Ellie.”
“No, he’s not a stranger. I mean, he is, but it wasn’t a call.” Her expression pleads with me to drop it, but now I’m more confused than angry. I won’t be able to let this go until I know what the hell is going on.
Sensing that, she lets out a resigned huff. “Have you heard of ASMR?”
“Like typing or crinkling paper into a microphone?”
“Yes. I was listening to an ASMR recording.”
“That wasn’t some random noise, that was a full on conversation.”
She narrows her eyes at my continued inquisition. “You are insufferable, you know that right? I don’t pry into your business and critique your sleeping routine.”
“Ellie, just tell me. The faster you spit it out the sooner we can move on.”
“There is a subset of ASMR called boyfriend ASMR where it’s a one sided conversation or situation with the male speaker. They have girlfriend ASMR, too, but I’ve never tried that.”
“Like a spicy situation?” I ask, interest piqued.
“Sometimes, but that isn’t what I usually listen to.” The pretty flush of her cheeks says it sometimes is, though.
“What do you usually listen to?” I am totally curious now and back to being a little jealous that she spends time listening to a man that isn’t me. I mean, I have dozens of songs she could choose from.
“Day in the life stuff. Sometimes it’s similar to the one you heard where it’s a conversation about going to sleep or having anxiety. Mostly I listen to ones where the person is doing mundane things such as reading or playing a video game while the listener is napping beside them.”
“Why do you like it?”
“I don’t know,” she hedges.
“Come on. You’ve already come this far,” I needle.
“It’s soothing. There is something about falling asleep next to someone who is awake that makes me—and other women based on how much content is out there—feel safe and cared for. It’s easier to sleep when someone is watching over you, real or imagined.”
“So you give this strange dude from the internet money to get access to non-personalized recordings to help you fall asleep?”
“I knew you wouldn’t get it,” she grouses. “What are you even doing in here? There is no reason for you to be in my room.”
“I heard a voice, and I was checking on you.”
She glares at me skeptically. “You didn’t have a reason to be close enough to hea—What the hell is in your hand?!”
Shit. I forgot all about the giant fake spider in my hand. I attempt to hide it behind my back, but it’s too late for that now. I’m busted.
“Ugh! Stop pranking me. The fact that real life men act like this is why these ASMR boyfriends make so much money.”
“Well, that is a gross generalization,” I argue.
“Get out!” she shouts loud enough that the other guys might have heard it.
When I make it back to the lounge, Grayson and Declan glance up from the video game they’re planning .
“You’re so lame, man,” Gray comments while Declan shakes his head. Bryce is zoned out making beats on his laptop.
Whatever. Sinking down on the sofa, I pull out headphones and start searching YouTube for ‘boyfriend ASMR’ videos. With so many to choose from, I realize Ellie is right. It is popular.
The idea that she’s going to an anonymous man on the internet to help her sleep doesn’t sit right with me regardless of how many people do it, too. It doesn’t take long for me to come with an idea that I hope will make Ellie happy. With a little help from my youngest brother, I think I can make it happen.