Chapter 25
25
“I know I suggested getting in a fake relationship to occupy your time after the tour,” Eliza drones, “but I thought we all decided against it. As much as the fans will eat up a childhood friends to lovers storyline, I had some other candidates in mind who could have boosted your image more.”
I prickle at her insinuation that I would get with Ellie for PR purposes, but before I can jump down her throat, Declan chimes in. “His image is fine and his relationship status is none of our business.”
“It’s none of our business as long as it doesn’t cause bad press,” she corrects.
“Which it hasn’t and won’t.”
“We’ll see,” she snips. “How does this factor into your post-tour plans?”
“What do you mean?” I ask .
“I mean, what is Ellie’s plan? Is she going to mooch off her rich boyfriend or start working? And if so, where? Doing what?”
“Hey! Ellie is not a mooch,” Grayson defends. “She graduated with her master’s degree and accepted a job we offered her. She didn’t ask for it.”
“And she plans to do what with that degree? Does she have a position lined up? We’d want any company she works at to align with your values and sponsorship deals.”
Everyone turns expectantly to me. Shit. Am I supposed to know that? Ellie spends a lot of time stressing about her future. I do my best to distract her from those worries when we’re together. I know she has been applying for jobs, but she hasn’t mentioned any interviews.
“I don’t know,” I hedge, much to Eliza’s disapproval. “Her career decisions are hers alone, but I will ask her about them.”
“If she is going to work a traditional job, you can’t use her as the reason you don’t have any other projects going on. Have you thought at all about what you will do to fill your time?”
“I’ve got some irons on the fire,” I lie the same way I did to Ellie when she asked. I can’t toss Eliza in the pool or orgasm her as a distraction from my non-answer, though. Thankfully, she doesn’t push.
“See that you do,” she states, pinning me with a hard glare. “I need an answer by the end of the tour.”
“Aye, aye, Captain.” Seeing as Eliza runs a tight ship, it’s a fitting title. I don’t always love her brusque approach, but it gets results. I know it irks Declan more, rubbing against his more dominant personality. There was a time where I thought the two of them would end up hate fucking each other. But they're both too bossy to let go of the reins enough to enjoy it.
When I think about it, I’m not the only Ryder who hasn’t had a relationship in recent years. Grayson has dated some, but hasn’t had a major relationship since our TV show went off the air. He and Selena—a guest star on our show—were previously together. Long distance turned out to be too much for them when her career tied her to LA.
I’ve never seen Declan with a girl for more than a few dates, and most of those have been arranged by Eliza. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a secret weekend lover, Christian Grey-style. He invested in Club Hedone, a sex club in Nashville a few years ago, so it isn’t far-fetched that he’s into some kinky shit. I’ve never asked since it is none of my business. We may be brothers and friends, but there are some lines even I don’t want to cross.
Tuning back into the conversation, I listen to Eliza detail our obligations for the next few days.
“Does that mean our afternoon is free?” I ask hopefully. Ellie has seemed particularly stressed over the past few days, and I would love to do something fun together. I tried to ask her about what was on her mind, but she waved me off. I know she spent time yesterday helping Shonda inventory all the merch. I’d be worried that was the issue, but organizing relaxes her.
“After this meeting, you are free until a radio interview tomorrow, yes,” she answers. I decide to leave before she can ask for details she doesn’t want. Better to ask for forgiveness and all that.
“Sweet. See ya!” I say before jumping up from my seat and leaving the meeting. If they call after me, I don’t hear it.
When I get back to the bus, I find my girl in the lounge surrounded by colored pens and her notebook. Uh oh. She only brings out the G-2s when she is getting serious.
“Whatcha doing, baby?” I ask, settling in the chair across from her. I know better than to mess with the system she has in place.
“Making a list,” she replies absentmindedly.
Seeing how deep she is into a notebook I know she has only had for a few weeks, my eyes widen. “I think you’ve made more lists on this tour than I’ve made in my entire life.”
Her cheeks turn that shade of pink I love so much. “I like making lists. It helps me plan things out and make sense of them.”
I nod my head knowingly as she moves the notebook off her lap and spreads out her legs. Taking the vacancy, I lay my head on her thighs. As if on instinct, she runs her hands through my hair and scratches my scalp. It feels so good, I almost forget the conversation I wanted to have.
“How many of those lists come to fruition?” I ask.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re always making and remaking lists. How many of them do you put into action?” When she stares at me, stunned, I continue, “I think the process helps calm your brain, but you’re afraid of the execution.”
“I’m not afraid . . . ” she challenges. “It does calm me, though. Getting the words out of my head makes it easier to relax and focus on other things.”
“Things such as screwing your handsome boyfriend?”
“I meant more like sleeping, but sure, we’ll go with that,” she teases.
“Speaking of.” I pull out my phone and forward her an email I’ve been holding onto for weeks. “Check your inbox.”
She eyes me curiously, but does as I ask. “What’s this?”
“Click on it.”
When she does, the small living area is filled with the sound of my voice.
What’s up, baby? You wanted to see what I was doing? C’mere. Come lay beside me. I’m working on a new song. You want to hear it? It has a ways to go, but I have the chorus melody down.
Guitar music filters through for a few beats before my voice takes over again.
Thank you. I thought it had promise. You look sleepy. Oh, you were going to take a nap? Want me to join you? I am in the zone, but I don’t mind stopping for you. Are you sure? How about you nap here beside me? I can work on the song and you can snuggle up next to me. Of course, I don’t mind. Yeah, I’ll wake you up in a bit. You know I love having you near. Want me to play you a lullaby?
Okay, okay. I’ll get back to work. Sweet dreams, Wildflower.
My voice cuts out until the sounds of writing and strumming are all that remain. When I peer up from her lap, Ellie is staring down at me, tears in her eyes.
“You made me boyfriend ASMR?”
I nod anxiously. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I’m second guessing it now. People have told me my voice is calming, but maybe I did it wrong.
“I thought you deserved your own personal recordings, not something generic, but if it’s too weird, you don’t have to listen to it.”
“I love it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. When you put your mind to something, it’s amazing what you can accomplish. I can’t wait to see what you do next.”
Leaning down, she kisses me gently on the lips. I try to deepen it, but it’s difficult upside down. Spiderman made this look way easier.
“As much as I would love to keep this going, we have plans.”
“We do?”
“Yep. I have the afternoon off. You and I are going to play hooky. Can you be ready in fifteen?”
“What are we doing?”
“That’s for me to know and you to find out. Now kiss me again and go get dressed. Comfy but appropriate for public.”
I sit up, allowing her to move off the couch. She nips at my lips before running to the back of the bus, giggling when I tried to keep her pulled close.
“Temptress! I’ll get you back for that.” While she gets changed, I consider her earlier statement that I can accomplish a lot when I put my mind to something. I know she meant being her boyfriend, since I’ve expressed insecurities about not having been one in a long time. But I wonder if that’s true in other areas of my life. All I need is something as worthy as loving Ellie to put my mind to in order to figure it out.
Shit, love? It hasn’t been long, but I can’t think of another word that describes how I feel about Ellie. She’s been a part of my life for almost as long as I can remember. The transition from sister’s best friend to love was easier than it should have been. Hopefully, if I keep being the boyfriend she deserves, she’ll feel the same way soon.
In the back of my mind, something is screaming at me that until Lainey knows about us, none of this is as real as I want it to be. I shut that part up. We’ll deal with that when we have to. I don’t want guilt tainting the day I have planned.