Chapter 35
35
After spending a tearful night at my cousin’s house, I got the first flight to Nashville I could. I hoped getting back to my apartment would make me feel better, but it made everything worse. The space is filled with reminders of Lainey and I.
My best friend is going to be devastated when she finds out about everything that went down. I know she won’t believe the lies Eliza was peddling about me trying to help my dad. I told her on day one what he was trying to pull. She knows I would never help him get a job with Ryders or where I would have to be around him more than necessary.
She is going to be pissed about me dating her brother and keeping it from her. As strong as our bond is, I worry I threw away fifteen years of friendship over a four-week fling. Will she forgive me for lying to her and keeping my crush a secret for all these years?
With nothing else to do, I bury myself in my slightly musty bed and vow to sleep for three days straight. I need to air out the house, but I don’t have it in me right now. I’m pretty sure I’ve cried more in the last twenty-four hours than I have in the last twenty-four years combined. It’s exhausting. Add in a restless night in my cousin’s guest room and worry over my friendship, and I pass out in minutes.
Before I let sleep take me, I text Declan to let him know I made it back home, something he insisted on when he found out I left. He and Grayson seemed freaked out when I was gone last night. I thought Jack would have filled them in, but he was still MIA. They clearly have some bad information, but I’ll let them figure it out or not on their own. Eliza may be playing them, but that is not my problem. They invited a snake into their midst. Maybe I’ll try to warn them later, but I have my own wounds to lick for now.
Hours, days, or weeks later, I am woken up by a persistent buzzing sound. Scrambling for the phone, I answer it without checking my caller ID, too dazed to think of the multitude of people I don’t want to talk to right now. Thankfully, it is none of them.
“Hi, is this Ellie?”
“It is,” I reply hesitantly. Pulling the phone away, I notice I don’t have this number saved in my phone.
“Oh wonderful! This is Shonda’s friend Misty. She gave me your number and said you were interested in learning more about owning a store. I’ve had my place in Hillsboro for twenty-five years. Would you like to grab coffee this week?”
More guilt washes over me at the mention of my, now former, boss. I texted her when I got to the airport that I left the tour. I didn’t offer up many details, but apologized for leaving her in the lurch. She graciously thanked me for all I did to help her over the past few months and told me not to be a stranger. I’d completely forgotten about her friend after everything that went down. She must have given her a call now that I am back home.
“I would love that. I am getting caught up on things, but I should be free the day after tomorrow if that works for you.” I honestly have no idea what day it is, that’s how hard I slept, but a two-day buffer sounds doable to pull myself together.
“That works wonderfully. There is a place right by my store where we can meet. I don’t usually open until ten. Does nine work for you?”
“That sounds great!”
When she tells me the location, it jogs a memory in my mind. Misty! She owned the shop I stopped into after I had lunch with Macy and was still on the fence about the tour. That seems a lifetime ago, but in reality wasn’t that long ago.
“This is going to sound strange,” I hedge, “but I think I was in your store a while back. I bought a fringe skirt to take on tour with me.”
“Oh my goodness! I wondered if this was you. Fate has a way of working out. Now I’m even more excited to get together.”
“Me, too. I’ll see you in a couple.”
Once we get off the phone, I check to see that it is noon the day after I made it back from Boston. I note a missed call from my mom, a ‘liked message,’ from Declan, and a barrage of texts from a group with Macy and Alexis.
As I try to scroll through the messages, another pops into the chat.
12:02 PM
Macy
It’s been long enough, El. We are officially declaring a state of emergency. If you don’t respond in the next hour, Alexis is coming over and I will be by after work.
How do you know where I am?
Alexis
Did you forget we all share locations?
Yes . . .
Macy
Are you going to tell us why you’re home early? Did something happen?
Alexis
Aiden is ready and waiting to kick Ryder ass.
I can’t help but laugh at that prospect. He may be from New Zealand originally, but Aiden is the biggest country fan out of us all.
He loves them.
Alexis
Yeah, but he loves me more. And you are an extension of me.
He doesn’t need to beat them up, it’s complicated.
Macy
Sounds like we’re coming over after work. That gives you five hours to get yourself together.
Alexis
I’ll bring Chinese!
By the time the girls get there, I’ve managed to shower and air out the apartment. Since Lainey and I were both expecting to be gone for months, there is thankfully no rotting food or messes I need to take care of.
As we dig into the takeout Alexis brought, I tell them everything. I rehash everything we discussed before the ‘self-care’ incident all the way through Jack telling me to leave. By the time I finished, they’re both staring at me in stunned silence.
“Wow. That is a lot,” Macy remarks. “I can’t believe you went through most of that alone. I get why you couldn’t tell us, but my God girl!”
Aside from the first week without Lainey, I haven’t kept them updated on everything with me and Jack. I know they said they were cool with it, but I didn’t want to put them in the position of having to lie to her. And I really didn’t want her to feel betrayed by all three of us. It did suck not being able to share.
Telling the story of our relationship from start to finish gave me a new perspective on it. When you’re living only for the day, you miss so much that you can see in the bird's-eye view. Not to mention, I still saw him through this lens of ‘unattainable celebrity,’ which wasn’t fair to him or us.
Jack was right when he said I wasn’t as smart as I thought I was. His care for me was evident throughout the weeks we were together, even if I was too scared to see it. The man stopped the bus to pick me flowers. He inked me on his body for Chrissake. How much clearer could he be? Seeing it now doesn’t change the fact that everything got screwed up. And the fact he hasn’t reached out since I left speaks volumes.
“I don’t know where to go from here,” I confess. “He was so mad last time we talked. I know it’s due to misconceptions, but at this point, I don’t know how to change his mind. Even if we take the Eliza allegations away, my expiration date comment and lack of faith in him is still there.”
Macy and Alexis share a look before responding. “I think there is only one thing you can do. You gotta talk to Lainey. If anyone knows how to deal with Jack Ryder and the intricacies of their life, it’s her.”
I know she’s right, but I am dreading it. I have no idea how Lainey will react. All I can hope is that she understands where I was coming from and sees that we at least tried to protect her.
Macy and Alexis leave after we catch up on our show. The mood is more somber than usual, as we were missing our fourth musketeer. It was nice to be around my friends again after ten weeks surrounded by men, though. Knowing there is no time like the present, I decide to shoot Lainey a text. It’s not as late on the West Coast, but part of me is hoping she is in for the next. My luck is shit, though, because two minutes after sending, my phone lights up with an incoming call. Here goes nothing.