Chapter 13
. . .
Vesper
I’m not usually a nervous person, but tonight, I’m crazy anxious.
Each time the door to the cocktail bar we’re in swings inward, I hold my breath and wait for Silas to enter.
Dressed in a Rogues jersey with no last name on the back, I’ve been standing at the bar, nursing the same martini for way too long.
“How does that martini compare to the ones you make?” Drew slides onto the stool next to me when she returns from the restroom.
I twist my lips around in thought. “I always make mine with a higher gin-to-dry-vermouth ratio, but this one really isn’t bad.”
She takes a sip of her Manhattan, her engagement ring sparkling brightly beneath the lighting.
This girl deserves so much happiness, and I know she’s found it for life with Will.
It’s hard to believe that they were friends their whole lives and didn’t realize that they were perfect for each other romantically until circumstances brought them closer together.
I guess that’s how life works, throwing curve balls at us when we least expect them.
“How’s the Manhattan?” I ask, knowing it couldn’t be as good as the ones I make for her.
She gazes pensively at her glass. “What if I told you that this was the best Manhattan I’d had in years? Maybe forever.”
I eye her suspiciously. “Then I’d be genuinely insulted and immediately demand a thorough explanation as to why this cocktail was better than mine.”
She throws her head back and laughs. This place is crowded tonight, which isn’t exactly surprising, given both the Scorpions and the Rogues played.
I feel bad for calling out of work at the last minute, but also liberated for not letting guilt win out.
I work my ass off at Riley’s, and I need a freaking break once in a while.
“No need to lose your mind, Ves.” Drew rests a palm on my shoulder.
She has her hair pulled into a tight, low bun tonight, and combine that with her killer black dress, which hits mid-thigh, Will is going to be drooling the second he claps eyes on her.
“The cocktail is a seven out of ten, at best. Yours are always pushing perfection.”
“Well, that’s good to kn—” I stop my sentence short when a hand I don’t recognize slides a pint of beer along the bar toward me.
“Mind if I join you?”
The mystery hand belongs to a dark-haired guy, dressed in a snappy black suit.
He’s definitely a finance bro and really not my type.
His over-styled hair and excessive use of gel is giving more try-hard vibes than it is alluring.
He’s precisely the reason why I backed out of a job in the corporate world.
That, and it would’ve taken me years to earn a decent wage since I didn’t go to college or know people in high places that could give me a head start.
I’m not built to sit at a desk for hours on end and that’s okay, I’m happy to serve guys like the one standing next to me once they’ve escaped their office confines.
I glance quickly at Drew and then up at the guy.
“I mean, you can if you know something about cocktails,” I reply.
Blue eyes drop to his beer glass. “Is that your way of telling me that you aren’t interested?”
I take a sip of my martini. “Is this your way of telling me that you’re trying to pick me up?”
Drew giggles from beside me, and the guy closes his eyes, pained.
“This isn’t your first rodeo, is it?” he asks.
I’d almost feel bad for him if he hadn’t acted so cocky and presumptuous when he first approached me.
“First rule of trying to pick a girl up: Make sure she isn’t a bartender because chances are, she’s heard all the lines before and she has more responses at her disposal than you could possibly imagine.”
“Who’s trying to pick who up?”
With my cocktail glass to my mouth, I freeze at the deep rumble of Silas’s voice. Other than on the ice earlier, when the Rogues won two to one, I haven’t seen him in well over a week, and I’ve missed him way more than I anticipated.
“Oh, Beer Guy here is moving in on your girl.”
My head snaps to Drew, eyes wide with horror.
What are you doing? I mouth at her.
She just winks.
Beer Guy holds up a hand. Not only does he clearly work in corporate, but he obviously knows his hockey, too, and I’m guessing the last person he expected to bump into was the Rogues captain.
“Shit, sorry, man. I didn’t realize she was your girl.”
“Vesper.”
When Silas replies with my name, I tip my head over one shoulder.
His deep blue eyes burn into the guy. “Her name is Vesper, and, yeah, she’s with me.”
I think Drew squeals, although it isn’t loud enough for me to be sure.
Beer Guy scratches at the back of his neck, wincing. “Isn’t it a thing for a hockey player’s girl to wear his name on her back?”
Silas’s eyes lower to my back. “And I don’t see Prick written across your forehead, but you’re still acting like one. Funny how that works, eh?”
Beer Guy doesn’t hang around, swiping his glass from the bar top before disappearing into a sea of bodies.
I turn to the rugged Rogues captain, ready to ream him out for being a cocky bastard when I take him in fully and stop short.
Tonight, he’s wearing a gray dress shirt with a few buttons open at the collar, along with black jeans and brown loafers.
He’s combed his usually disheveled hair into a sweep-back style that I want to run my fingers through.
It looks effortless on him and the total opposite of Beer Guy’s attempt.
Everything about Silas screams dark and mysterious, and I want to peel away his layers so I can take full advantage of the possessive way he’s looking at me.
“So, I’m going to make myself scarce because the tension right now is heating my seven-out-of-ten cocktail to an unacceptable temperature.”
Drew kisses me on the cheek, throws me a flirtatious wink, and heads for her doting fiancé, who watches her all the way across the room until he wraps her in his arms.
Meanwhile, when I reset my attention back on Silas, I’m ninety percent sure he never took his eyes from me.
He leans down and whispers in my ear, prickling my skin in a delicious way only he can illicit, “You look really beautiful tonight, Ves.”
I fidget with the cocktail stick and green olive resting on the side of my glass.
I’m acting all coy, and I can’t help it.
When it comes to men in bars, I’ve always behaved just like I did with Beer Guy, but Silas disarms me, to the point where I’m putty in his hands, and I don’t know what to do with that.
Hence why the olive attached to this cocktail stick has now seen better days.
Silas smiles knowingly at me. I wish I could read what’s going on in his head.
“I paid Kane a visit the other day.”
My heart rate picks up, throat constricting as I try to swallow, thinking of my ex finding out how close Silas and I have become.
“You … you didn’t tell him that I’d called you the night he showed up and demanded to speak to me, did you?”
“No, of course I didn’t.” Silas shakes his head, and I breathe a sigh of relief when he comes to sit next to me. He raises a finger at the bartender, who immediately takes his order for a beer and a second martini for me.
I don’t fight him over another cocktail.
He blows a breath through his nose and swivels his stool until our outer thighs are touching. Even through the opaque tights I’m wearing, I feel his touch as if we were skin on skin.
“I told him I wouldn’t be funding his drinking or gambling habits any longer and warned him to leave you alone.” He rolls his lips together. “I bent the truth and made out like you’d filled me in on the events of that night after a game.”
I nod once. “Smart.”
Our drinks are set down on the bar, and Silas hands over his Amex like spending money is as easy as breathing.
I guess for an NHL star, it is, but despite our very different lives, I’ve never related to someone so easily.
It’s true when they say money can’t buy happiness, health, or a family.
I think the first and last items on that list have been in short supply for us both.
“I need to ask you something.”
My heart is back to racing at a rapid pace.
“As long as it’s not if we can watch another scary movie sometime soon, then fire away.”
I expect Silas to at least smile, but he doesn’t.
“I know you have his number blocked, but do you still have feelings for Kane, or are you totally over him?”
It’s the intensity in his words that hits me harder than the question itself. That’s easy to answer.
“I’m over him,” I say without a beat of hesitation.
“I think even before we split, I’d already fallen out of love with him.
” I lock eyes with Silas. “How can anyone truly love a person when they treat them like shit? Make them feel less than or like they don’t matter. The last time we …” I trail off.
Silas doesn’t need to hear about me sleeping with his brother.
“Say it.”
I shake my head. “You don’t want me to finish that sentence.”
He spins my stool so I’m facing him directly, my knees nestled between his.
“Say it, Vesper. I want to hear it all.”
“Even the parts where we were intimate?”
Unmistakable pain flashes through Silas’s eyes. “I want to know all of your parts. I always have.”
As tears prick behind my eyes, I don’t try to hide my emotion from him any longer. Silas is aware that my upset isn’t born out of a broken heart, more because I allowed myself to be disrespected by such an asshole.
The second a tear hits my left cheek, two big, rough palms cup my face. I feel tiny, safe, protected, but mainly heard when Silas holds me like this.
“Over the last twelve months, Kane has cycled through a pattern of love-bombing me, only for him to cast me aside after he gets what he wants.”
“Sex?”
I press my lips together. “Yeah. Sex, money for booze, a clean and tidy apartment, dinner on the table whenever he wanted it. And I went along with that for way too long, always hoping I would eventually be enough for him. Do you know why I let him disrespect me like he did?”
I drop my eyes to the floor. Desperate sadness overtaking me.
“Why?” Silas chokes out.
A childhood memory of Naomi and me sitting on the living room floor when we were younger flashes in front of me. Mom had promised that she would be home hours before, but she still hadn’t returned from the date she was on, and we were wondering how to make our dinner.
“Look at me, Vesper,” Silas pleads.
I keep my head down because it’s easier to say it without eye contact. “When your parents don’t care about your well-being, it gets really hard to recognize the right kind of person who will love you in all the right ways.”
When I finally bring my gaze back to his, Silas doesn’t look shocked by what I told him. Only anger burns in his eyes.
“Fuck Kane and fuck your parents. They’re all pieces of shit.
” He swallows hard, gathering himself. “Tell me, what can I do to make you happy? I know you don’t believe the bullshit my brother fed you, and I see you know how much better you are than him.
How much more you deserve. So, tell me, as a strong, beautiful, kick-ass woman … what do you need from me?”
My throat runs dry, white-hot heat coursing through me as we continue to hold each other captive.
“What do you want, Silas? I want to hear what’s going through your head. It always feels like you’re going at my pace, and I want to know what you need for a change.”
His palms gently press into my face, lips finding the shell of my ear. “I need you to ask me that question again, Knockout. Just so I can be sure the first time wasn’t a mistake that you’ll go on to regret in the morning.”
Holy shit.
I can barely form a single word, let alone a whole sentence.
“What do you want, Silas?” I rasp.
The hum of the background music and voices from those surrounding us fades into nothing when he brings his lips back to my ear.
“I want to show you why you chose the wrong brother.”