Chapter 21
. . .
Vesper
“Ves, get the door.”
My ass had just touched the couch after a full day of cleaning up the mess Kane had made of our apartment. I’d worked back-to-back twelve-hour shifts at Riley’s because he was, once again, out of work and we needed money to make the rent this month.
“Can’t you get it?” I asked, wincing at the building headache behind my eyes when I yelled back to wherever Kane was located in our small one-bedroom apartment.
It was a nice place—when it was clean—and pretty spacious since it was a converted first floor in a large property.
We also had the benefit of a small backyard, which we shared with our neighbor who lived above us.
The entrance to his place was around the back of the property, so we had relative privacy.
Just as well because my boyfriend’s behavior had been growing increasingly volatile.
Kane’s temper flared whenever he drank, and it felt like he was drunk most of the day.
I’d lost count of the number of beer bottles I’d collected around the apartment—some even hidden at the back of our closet when I vacuumed in there earlier.
I had wanted to yell at him to clean up his own goddamn trash, but being honest, he was starting to scare me, and all I wanted was to keep the peace.
At some point, I knew things would get back to the way they had been when we first met.
At least, that was what I told myself. We were going through a rough patch, like all couples did.
“I’m having a smoke. You get it.”
It wasn’t worth arguing, so I rolled my eyes and peeled myself off the couch, my feet protesting the few steps to the door. I’d only just gotten the bar manager job at Riley’s, and I’d worked my ass off these past two days, determined to make a good first impression.
Still, despite Kane’s shitty mood, I secretly prayed that he’d ordered a pizza and there was a guy standing on the porch with a large Italian base from my favorite takeout place, complete with extra jalapenos.
“Hi.”
Hands stuffed into the pockets of his sweatpants, black ball cap pulled down low over his eyes, Silas was dressed in full training gear and had clearly driven straight here from the rink.
He dropped his eyes to my battered black sneakers, the ones I’d been wearing nonstop for the past forty-eight hours.
I braced a hand on the edge of the door and smiled flatly. I was too tired to offer anything more enthusiastic.
As I opened my mouth to shout for Kane, Silas held up a hand, halting me.
“I actually stopped by to see you.” He didn’t need to rise onto his tiptoes or crane his neck around my shoulder to see down the hallway since he towered over my petite frame. “Have you got a second?” He thumbed behind him to his black truck, which was parked along the sidewalk.
I chewed on my bottom lip, really wishing we could have this conversation on the couch. The soles on my feet were burning.
“How can I help you?” My response was as warm as the smile I’d just offered.
“I wanted to ask how things at Riley’s were going. We didn’t get a chance to talk when I saw you the other night.”
“Shifts at Riley’s are manic.” I shrugged and stepped over the threshold, closing the front door behind me.
It was early fall, and Seattle was fucking cold. I shivered in my thin white top and black leggings.
“My truck is running to keep warm,” Silas remarked, tipping his chin to where it was parked.
I shook my head, hugged my middle, and refused his training top when he unzipped it and held it out for me.
“Why don’t you come inside?” I offered through chattering teeth.
At least the place was clean, and he wouldn’t witness the chaos I had come back to late last night.
Silas narrowed his eyes on me.
It had been at least two weeks since we’d last seen each other, and that was a movie night spent in near silence.
He’d come by for food, like he usually did twice a month, but on this particular visit, he and Kane got into it when I was clearing away the plates.
Kane wanted Silas to watch a football game, and he refused, suggesting that they both help me with the dishes.
I couldn’t make out the whole conversation from the kitchen, but I didn’t miss Kane’s scathing comment about a woman’s place being in front of the sink. My heart sank at that moment, and I hung my head between my shoulders just as Silas stormed into the kitchen to witness my breakdown.
Right there and then, he asked me to leave and offered to put me up in a hotel until I could find a place of my own.
I hadn’t wanted to accept because I was too stubborn, but I could’ve at least been grateful and not told him to, “Stay out of our business.”
“I’ll keep this short, Ves.” Silas rocked back on his heels, and I noticed his fingers twitching in his pockets.
He was nervous and likely feeling awkward after the way things had been left the last time we spoke.
“I’m okay, you know.” I tried reassuring him, this time making more of an effort with my smile. “Kane and I fight like a regular couple, and he’s been going through a lot of stress lately.”
Silas stepped toward me, and frustration marred his features as he braced one hand on the doorjamb above my head.
Even though he was close and loomed over me like his brother often did, I didn’t feel an ounce of intimidation in his presence.
“Why are you making excuses for him, Vesper?”
I scoffed and looked off down the road, trying to disguise the way I shook from the cold. It was biting through my clothes now, settling into my bones.
“I’m not making excuses for him,” I lied.
Silas was calling me out, but he didn’t understand the full picture.
I was ashamed to admit that our relationship wasn’t healthy.
The only other relationship experience I’d had was the marriage between my parents, and frankly, it wasn’t dissimilar to mine and Kane’s.
It felt like walking away from Kane now would be admitting that we’d failed, and despite everything, I still loved him.
I knew if I left, his drinking would get worse, and I didn’t want to be the reason for his spiral.
But at the same time, I’d promised myself that if things got any worse, then I would end the relationship. It felt like I was in a constant, unbreakable cycle. Whenever I told Kane I was leaving, he’d get his act together.
“If it’s money you’re worried about, I can help out.”
Nausea swirled in my gut. Money was another factor in my decision to try and make this work with Kane. But I wasn’t taking handouts from anyone. I was too proud for that.
“Silas …” I dropped my attention to the ground. “Don’t you have a girlfriend of your own to worry about?”
When our eyes met again, I saw a flicker of something uneasy in his gaze.
Hurt?
Sadness?
Despair?
I couldn’t be sure.
“I don’t have a girlfriend, Vesper—you know that.”
I opted to take advantage of the turn in subject. At least now we weren’t focused on my relationship with Kane.
“I think if you met someone and moved in with them, then you’d understand that relationships aren’t all roses once you’re out of the honeymoon phase.
You don’t live in the real world, Silas.
” I pointed down the street, as if two hundred yards represented the rest of mankind.
“You live in a bubble of fame, money, and an endless line of beautiful women, and you never have to worry about the next overdue bill. Kane and I are constantly under stress, living paycheck to paycheck. It takes its toll on us.”
“I’ve lived in—and I still understand—the real world,” he instantly retorted.
Silas was right; he had lived a very real life. Every word I’d just said to him was unfair. With a father in lockup and a mother who was gravely sick with cancer, Silas was more than aware of how tough life could be.
Still, I couldn’t help the way I bit out the next words.
I was in defense mode. My default setting whenever Silas was around.
“Yeah? Well, maybe you’ve just forgotten what it’s like.”
Brows pinched, he shook his head, and a wave of guilt washed through me.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my breath becoming more noticeable as the night sky drew in. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
I wasn’t sure how long we’d been standing out here, but the sun was definitely fading.
Silas was nothing like his brother, and when he reached out an arm and pulled me into his body, that fact had never been more obvious.
He smelled of fresh pine, and I wrapped my arms around his waist, his body heat penetrating my clothes instead of the cold.
“Ves?!” Kane’s agitated voice filtered outside.
I pulled away from Silas so fucking fast that I almost fell through the frosted glass in our front door.
“You should go,” I instructed Silas.
Technically, he could still come in, but explaining to Kane what we were doing out on the porch for so long was going to be difficult.
He was already mad as hell at Silas for butting in on our relationship the other week.
Reaching into his pocket, Silas handed me a folded piece of paper and then stepped backward off the porch. He didn’t take his eyes from me.
“Open that when you get back inside.”
I wanted to thank him for whatever it was, along with coming to check on me. But in the end, all I said was, “Okay.”
And then he turned on his heel and headed for his truck, throwing me one last smile before he climbed inside and sped off down the road.
Certain my lips were turning blue, I stepped back inside and leaned my back against the front door as it clicked shut behind me.
I stared down at the paper in my hands.
“What are you up to, Si?” I whispered beneath my breath, unsure of where Kane was located.
My fingers shook as I opened it up, uncertain if my trembles were because of the cold or the anticipation of what I’d find written down.
My brows pinched together. Confused.
It was a receipt, dated today and only a half hour ago.
A bubble of laughter rose up my throat when I spotted Silas’s handwriting at the top and then the item he’d purchased.
Ves,
I wanted to say sorry for overstepping the other week.
I think I got you the right size, but I figured you liked Nike from the sneakers you had worn the other night.
Congrats again on your new job.
If you don’t like them, return them, but please promise me you won’t give the money to my brother.
Here for you. Always.
Si.
They cost over $200, and he’d paid for same-day shipping.
Excitement fizzed inside me.
Quickly, I pulled my phone from my pocket and shot him a text.
Me
My feet want to thank you. And so do I.